Sauron
04-29-2005, 12:14 AM
So my sister was married for 14 years to the same guy. First, last and only guy she ever dated, right out of high school. They lived in a trailer, and she worked as a waitress to help put him through school.
14 years go by, and they can't stand each other. He's a drunk, and they're both really bad with money. So my sister and her scumbag ex-husband separated several years ago. But he doesn't want to pay child support or alimony, and convinces my sister that they'll just draw up a private agreement among the two of them - no lawyers needed. He gave her one check for the girls, and then stopped giving her anything. Obviously that wasn't going to work, so they went and got a formal divorce.
But not at first. No, precious. He tried several times to convince my sister that he had a lawyer that could draw up an agreement for both of them, and they could avoid the expensive court process. Of course, he "forgot" to tell my sister that this was his lawyer, and no lawyer can legally represent both clients' interests in such a situation. Fortunately, I intervened on that and kept my sister from following through with his "friendly advice."
They finally went to court. She got child support and custody of the girls, and he gets visitations on alternate weekends. The court also said that when the child support stopped (as a result of my sister graduating from college and getting a job) that she would receive alimony in an equal amount to make up for it. She worked five years to put him through school; turnabout is fair play. On the weekends that my sister doesn't have the girls, my sister does Fri/Sat night bartending to help bring some income into the house. This is necessary, because the child support doesn't cover the bills. So she's trying to hold down a weekend job bartending, and finishing her own college education to become a teacher. She's taken out $30K in student loans, and they've both declared bankruptcy. She lives in government housing, and is getting WIC (food stamps). They're both in West Virginia, by the way.
The problem is that the ex-husband is using the two girls as a pawn. First he decides to move 400 miles away, to South Carolina, hoping to get out of paying the child support because he crossed the state line. He swears "he'll drive home on the weekends to be with his daughters." That happens once or twice, then it stops. Which would be fine, except my sister doesn't have a babysitter on weekends, so she can't work. And he's not sending any money voluntarily; why should he? The WV court doesn't have jurisdiction in SC. So we get his wages garnished to take out the child support. He throws a major fit, but he has no choice.
Now he's moved back to their home town in WV, because running to South Carolina isn't working, and he got demoted at work. The games continue. He routinely calls up and says he can't pick them up for the weekend; so she's left without a chance to work. Or, he'll drop them off early. Or, make her come and get them, because some of his buddies called and they're leaving on a fishing trip. And when he does keep them, he usually hands them over to his mother to watch for the weekend, while he runs around with his new girlfriend.
This goes on and on. My sister is nervous wreck, trying to study for school (one semester left), she's on nerve pills, which have caused her to gain 40 lbs. Her blood pressure is very high. She's trying to make ends meet while putting a roof over her head and her two girls, etc.
The game of using the kids as pawns happened again last month. But this time, the consequences were worse. He calls up 30 minutes before her Friday night shift starts and tells her that he can't pick up the girls; he has a weekend fishing trip to go on. So my sister doesn't work that weekend. She was already a month behind in the rent. Now she's two months behind. She's getting an eviction notice from govt housing - which is really hard to get; you have to *work* at it, almost. Her boss at the restaurant fires her, because "we need reliable workers. You aren't reliable." She has two flat tires that same day. And she's going to miss her car payment. And to top it all off, her dirtbag ex-husband is petitioning the court for a reduction in his child support payments - even though he lives at home with his parents (at 38 years old) and has no bills.
Oh, and this S.O.B. is doing all this while his father is in the hospital with terminal liver failure.
Anyhow, I get all this information about my sister second hand, after it's all happened. Am I mad, you ask? Am I angry?
Let's just say: :balrog: it's wrath of Sauron time. :balrog:
First, I volunteer to get her paid up two months on her rent, so the worries over where she's going to live go away. Same for the car payment.
BUT...
Second , I make receiving the money for the rent conditional on getting a meeting with her attorney, to address his behavior, prevent the reduction in child support, and sue the bastard to get the alimony started NOW, not later. She worked to put him through college; he can do the same for her. And since he's fucking with her ability to hold down a job; why, precious, the alimony can just start immediately! Yes, precious, yes!
Third, returning to court is going to cost my sister $750.00. So I'm going to pay that. In fact, I'm going to fly home to provide moral support when my sister faces him in court. She's somewhat afraid of him. But I want to make sure that she carries through and actually sues him, and wins some money out of it. The way I see it, every time he fails to financially support his two girls, and I wind up sending money to my sister because of it - that's the same thing as him stealing the money from me. So I don't see why he shouldn't suffer a little bit. Oh, and we're suing him for the $750 in attorney fees as well. Which should be interesting for him, since he never paid his divorce attorney two years ago and she won't even talk to him about his case now.
Fourth, when my sister gets about a month away from graduating I'm going to give her $1000 to go and buy interview/work clothes with. She's going to need something; everything she has now is student wear.
Dammit I hate it when people take advantage of someone who's just trying to make something of themselves - and putting kids in jeopardy as a result.
14 years go by, and they can't stand each other. He's a drunk, and they're both really bad with money. So my sister and her scumbag ex-husband separated several years ago. But he doesn't want to pay child support or alimony, and convinces my sister that they'll just draw up a private agreement among the two of them - no lawyers needed. He gave her one check for the girls, and then stopped giving her anything. Obviously that wasn't going to work, so they went and got a formal divorce.
But not at first. No, precious. He tried several times to convince my sister that he had a lawyer that could draw up an agreement for both of them, and they could avoid the expensive court process. Of course, he "forgot" to tell my sister that this was his lawyer, and no lawyer can legally represent both clients' interests in such a situation. Fortunately, I intervened on that and kept my sister from following through with his "friendly advice."
They finally went to court. She got child support and custody of the girls, and he gets visitations on alternate weekends. The court also said that when the child support stopped (as a result of my sister graduating from college and getting a job) that she would receive alimony in an equal amount to make up for it. She worked five years to put him through school; turnabout is fair play. On the weekends that my sister doesn't have the girls, my sister does Fri/Sat night bartending to help bring some income into the house. This is necessary, because the child support doesn't cover the bills. So she's trying to hold down a weekend job bartending, and finishing her own college education to become a teacher. She's taken out $30K in student loans, and they've both declared bankruptcy. She lives in government housing, and is getting WIC (food stamps). They're both in West Virginia, by the way.
The problem is that the ex-husband is using the two girls as a pawn. First he decides to move 400 miles away, to South Carolina, hoping to get out of paying the child support because he crossed the state line. He swears "he'll drive home on the weekends to be with his daughters." That happens once or twice, then it stops. Which would be fine, except my sister doesn't have a babysitter on weekends, so she can't work. And he's not sending any money voluntarily; why should he? The WV court doesn't have jurisdiction in SC. So we get his wages garnished to take out the child support. He throws a major fit, but he has no choice.
Now he's moved back to their home town in WV, because running to South Carolina isn't working, and he got demoted at work. The games continue. He routinely calls up and says he can't pick them up for the weekend; so she's left without a chance to work. Or, he'll drop them off early. Or, make her come and get them, because some of his buddies called and they're leaving on a fishing trip. And when he does keep them, he usually hands them over to his mother to watch for the weekend, while he runs around with his new girlfriend.
This goes on and on. My sister is nervous wreck, trying to study for school (one semester left), she's on nerve pills, which have caused her to gain 40 lbs. Her blood pressure is very high. She's trying to make ends meet while putting a roof over her head and her two girls, etc.
The game of using the kids as pawns happened again last month. But this time, the consequences were worse. He calls up 30 minutes before her Friday night shift starts and tells her that he can't pick up the girls; he has a weekend fishing trip to go on. So my sister doesn't work that weekend. She was already a month behind in the rent. Now she's two months behind. She's getting an eviction notice from govt housing - which is really hard to get; you have to *work* at it, almost. Her boss at the restaurant fires her, because "we need reliable workers. You aren't reliable." She has two flat tires that same day. And she's going to miss her car payment. And to top it all off, her dirtbag ex-husband is petitioning the court for a reduction in his child support payments - even though he lives at home with his parents (at 38 years old) and has no bills.
Oh, and this S.O.B. is doing all this while his father is in the hospital with terminal liver failure.
Anyhow, I get all this information about my sister second hand, after it's all happened. Am I mad, you ask? Am I angry?
Let's just say: :balrog: it's wrath of Sauron time. :balrog:
First, I volunteer to get her paid up two months on her rent, so the worries over where she's going to live go away. Same for the car payment.
BUT...
Second , I make receiving the money for the rent conditional on getting a meeting with her attorney, to address his behavior, prevent the reduction in child support, and sue the bastard to get the alimony started NOW, not later. She worked to put him through college; he can do the same for her. And since he's fucking with her ability to hold down a job; why, precious, the alimony can just start immediately! Yes, precious, yes!
Third, returning to court is going to cost my sister $750.00. So I'm going to pay that. In fact, I'm going to fly home to provide moral support when my sister faces him in court. She's somewhat afraid of him. But I want to make sure that she carries through and actually sues him, and wins some money out of it. The way I see it, every time he fails to financially support his two girls, and I wind up sending money to my sister because of it - that's the same thing as him stealing the money from me. So I don't see why he shouldn't suffer a little bit. Oh, and we're suing him for the $750 in attorney fees as well. Which should be interesting for him, since he never paid his divorce attorney two years ago and she won't even talk to him about his case now.
Fourth, when my sister gets about a month away from graduating I'm going to give her $1000 to go and buy interview/work clothes with. She's going to need something; everything she has now is student wear.
Dammit I hate it when people take advantage of someone who's just trying to make something of themselves - and putting kids in jeopardy as a result.