Embarrassing moments

[natasha]

What have been some of your embarrassing moments with S.O.'s? Dating, co-habitating, etc? It can be anything; from conversation to bad dates to sex. Anything goes, if you're brave enough, lol!

[MooseIBe]

Hmmm I can't think of anything offhand but I am sure they are plenty! Well let's see, there was the time I nearly threw up in some guy's mouth ... that was a bit embarrassing and he wasn't terribly pleased to have me wrench myself away and run to the bathroom and puke. I can't think of anything really terrible though; I suppose something will come back to .. oh yeah, something just did ;). Well that one's not very tasteful; I will think of something else to share...

[wei yau]

Hmmm...well, not so much embarassing as painful.

Once, while with a girlfriend....uh, doing stuff...I missed and ...uh, well...into her thigh. I felt myself...uh, bend....

That hurt...I wasn't too concerned about being embarassed.

However, admitting it in this thread is pretty embarassing.

[natasha]

; I suppose something will come back to .. oh yeah, something just did ;). Well that one's not very tasteful;
LOL, that's we want, mooseibe!

[natasha]

Hmmm...well, not so much embarassing as painful.

Once, while with a girlfriend....uh, doing stuff...I missed and ...uh, well...into her thigh. I felt myself...uh, bend....

That hurt...I wasn't too concerned about being embarassed.

However, admitting it in this thread is pretty embarassing.

And yet you did, and we thank you! Hey, that's happened to a lot of us, I'm sure. . .

[natasha]

Well, many thousands of years ago, I decided no more men for me! Feh! But, I quickly got rid of that idea. So I"m at a party, and lots of guys there, but only one I was interested in. He was perfect! Tall, that big ethnic nose thing, funny, witty, etc. I'm flirting shamelessly. Then a bunch of us girls get together in the other room and I'm going on and on but this great guy, this sexy funny great guy, and I'm going to do everything I can to get in bed with him, etc. and I say his name -------- and this woman looks at me and says, "Um, that's my husband" -- I felt pretty stupid and shameless. They thought it was hysterical of course. I was so embarrassed to go back out there and pretend like I hadn't made an ass out of myself, lol.

[livius drusus]

Yay! Another big nose fan! :glomp:

[wei yau]

Similar story, though not mine.

My best friend and I have a mutual friend. She's a lesbian and has been living with her partner near Decatur. Apparently, there is quite a gay and lesbian community around there.

Anyhoo, my friend is having a great time, enjoying everyone's company. Though, he is single and straight, so there weren't a lot of opportunities for him.

As he's leaving, he's having a conversation with our mutual friend. He mentions that there was one girl that he would have like to get to know better, but why bother? After all, she's lesbian.

Our mutual friend responds:

"Oh, her? She's our token straight friend."

[natasha]

I was the only girl that hung out with this bunch of guys. Well, one other chick but she was hooked up. I was sort of seeing this one guy, that I liked very much, but I also had a big crush on this other guy. (I know, what a slut.) So we're walking around out there in the woods on this abandoned property, and the guy I have a crush on passes around a bottle of bay rum to his pals.

I was so naive, I didn't know what it was, but assumed it was something to drink, as in, alcohol. So when someone passed it to me, I took a huge swig!

the look on his face was too much; he just looked like "I don't believe you're such a fucking idiot!" he just said, "Uh, you're not supposed to drink that." Of course I acted all cool and like I meant to do that.

I felt so stupid, I just wanted to die, lol.

[Crumb]

bay rum
What's that?

[natasha]

bay rum
What's that?

It's an aftershave.

[Crumb]

Ew. :vomit:

[natasha]

Ew. :vomit:

I know, it tasted awful, just awful. I pretended like it didn't of course but I thought it had burned a hole in my throat.

[godfry n. glad]

Well, many thousands of years ago, I decided no more men for me! Feh! But, I quickly got rid of that idea. So I"m at a party, and lots of guys there, but only one I was interested in. He was perfect! Tall, that big ethnic nose thing, funny, witty, etc. I'm flirting shamelessly. Then a bunch of us girls get together in the other room and I'm going on and on but this great guy, this sexy funny great guy, and I'm going to do everything I can to get in bed with him, etc. and I say his name -------- and this woman looks at me and says, "Um, that's my husband" -- I felt pretty stupid and shameless. They thought it was hysterical of course. I was so embarrassed to go back out there and pretend like I hadn't made an ass out of myself, lol.

But no... That's how I found out the woman who became my wife was not a lesbian.

Long story of how my wife and I met:

I had been recruited at the last moment (two weeks before opening) to take on a "spear-carrier" role in a production of "Cymbaline". I had then been cajoled into taking on two roles, one in each half of the play, with lines. The theme was first century Britian, so the director had recruited a pool of local Celtic musicians to provide interlude music. Amongst them were a stunning pennywhistle player and a Celtic harper. I immediately formed a crush for the pennywhistle player and attempted to find out what I could about her before approaching her. I spoke with some of the cast members, but they didn't really know the musicians all that well. By the sixth performance, it was obvious that the harper always showed up. For every show, and that her obvious friend, the pennywhistler player did not. So, I took the plunge on a day that the pennywhistle player was absent to approach her friend, the harper, and ask to whether her friend gave lessons on the pennywhistle as well as performing. She stared at me and matter of factly, said, "I don't know. Why don't you ask her."

"Uh...good question. I will."

That very same afternoon, another cast member, whom I had not discussed this with, and who did know the pennywhistle player, caught up with me and urged me to divest myself of my sexual delusions....the pennywhistle player was a lesbian.

I was crestfallen. I watched with appreciation for the rest of the summer. I noted the friendship between the pennywhistle player and the harper. That was pretty much it.

FAST FORWARD SIX YEARS

I'm working as a garbage and recycling hauler for a worker owned and collectively managed recycling cooperative. Eight of us slaved away at creating a self-sustaining worker cooperative. It was the gritty side of environmental idealism. Politics and trash. I was still single and was casually dating the actress who'd informed me of the pennywhistle player's proclivities. I'm still involved in the Shakepeare-in-the-Parks gig, but instead of a fresh new actor, I'm the past president of the board of directors and current stage manager of the "Two Gentlemen of Verona" summer presentation.

Amongst my garbage customers is the woman who was the harper that first summer I did Shakespeare. I picked up her trash every Monday. Some days, when I'd been experiencing mechanical troubles, or passing by her house on my way to my Wednesday customers, I'd see her. A couple of times, I'd smiled and waved. She waved back.

So...I commiserated with my female actress friend about how difficult it was to meet decent women. I noted that the harper was extremely attractive to me, but it was pointless because she was a lesbian. My friend's head snapped around and she blurted out, "But Ivy's not gay!"

My response was, "But...She and Sylvia?"

She came back with a laugh and said, "No, they're just really good friends. Ivy is straighter than I am."

"How do you know that?" was my rejoinder.

"Well, she and I work on the same floor at the hospital. She's a smoker and so am I, so we end up outside smoking cigarettes together a lot. Of course, we got to talking about cute guys, and Ivy went all rapturous over one of the Ob/Gyn doctors. She just thought he was the best thing since sliced bread and she'd like to warm her sheets with him. I let her rattle on and when she was finished, I said, 'You mean <Dr.>? He's my boyfriend,'" she related.

Of course, my friend was a notorious ambi-sexual nude performer with a local theater group, as well as a nursing student, and it was evidently widely known that my friend was dating this doctor, a married man. Ivy just didn't know that it was my friend who was his girlfriend.

The cat was out of the bag. Ivy was not gay. I trumped up some way of "bumping in to her" in front of her home (picking up her trash, of course) and since another friend was getting married and was considering music prospects, I asked her if she was still playing the Celtic harp.

Her question, standing there on the sidewalk, was, "What, is your best friend getting married?"

"Uhhh...no...Not my best friend. Just a friend," came my suave reply.

"Well, I don't play any more, and I really got tired of the wedding circuit," she informed me. "Are you still doing Shakespeare?"

I informed her that I certainly was and that I was stage managing for this year's performance. She hadn't seen any information, but she thought if any of the performance dates matched with her days off, she'd like to see one of the performances. She asked if I were performing that summer and if I'd continued performing. I brought her up to date on the group and she didn't believe that I'd done five succesive summers and she hadn't noticed me. <crushed ego here> But then she said, "So you must have improved, because you were really the bad actor that year...that's why I remember you."

<uh...what does one say at a moment like this?>

In the silence, she leaned in an whispered to me: "I was the bad musician." And smiled. I promised get her a poster with the dates and park locations, and we parted.

Three weeks later, she showed up at Mt. Tabor Park, where the troupe was performing in a glen below the soapbox derby track, with the city reservoir behind the trees that made up the set background. I had finished my duties and settled in with a flask of lemonade and a copy of Mircea Eliade's "A History of Religious Ideas, Volume 2: From Guatama Buddha to the Triumph of Christianity", waiting for the play to start. I offered her blanket space and lemonade and we had a pleasant afternoon watching "Gentlemen" and chatting.

Afterwards, I had breakdown and loadout duties, so I invited her to come to the cast party...she was alumnus, after all. She turned me down, saying that she'd already committed to attending music gig at a local tav. She invited me to come by, and join her there.

I did. When I got there, though, there was a cover charge and it took all but my last dollar. I couldn't buy a beer. I explained my parsimonious condition and she bought me a beer. We had more nice conversation and I invited her to dinner. She accepted.

That was August. I moved in with her in November and the following September, we married in what Ivy always called, "the world's most planned elopement" in the library of a toney bed and breakfast in Victoria, British Columbia. It was a year, month, and a day from our first date, there in the park, watching Shakespeare.

When people asked how we met, I tell them I was her garbage hauler; that my wife had married her garbage man. She then informed them it was Shakespeare and garbage that brought us together. And I thought she was gay; she never let me live that down.

What followed were nearly twenty of the most wonderful years of my life.

So, you see, such embarrassing moments can be very important moments in somebody's life.

[Mr Average]

bay rum
What's that?

It's an aftershave.

LOL! :D Burst out laughing in the office this morning! Great, thank you!

In Peace, Mr Average

[Clutch Munny]

godfry, that's a wonderful story, and you tell it perfectly.

[Gurdur]

godfry, that's a wonderful story, and you tell it perfectly.
Seconded. Thanks, godfry.

[godfry n. glad]

Thanks, guys. It was a duet, but now it's solo.

Sorta like "Heart and Soul" being played with just one hand.