'Open Water' or a Sharp Stick in the Eye? Hmmm...

[Sonnet]

Jesus God.

Well, I went to see it because I had heard how bad it was; occasionally I seek out a movie just for its badness.

:popcorn:

I'm happy to report that several people walked out of the showing I attended. I wasn't one of them, of course: I wanted the full experience.

I wrote this review for a movie review message board:

Absolute and total garbage - 8 bucks and 80 minutes you'll never get back. My jaw literally hung open at the end; I was unable to contain my disbelief at the sheer awfulness of this crap.

The only merit to this utter waste of time is that bad movies often make for better post-viewing conversation than good ones, since there's SO MUCH to ridicule. So, in that way I can't complain much, because my date and I did get more than one good laugh out of this veritable cornucopia of ineptitude.

Wow.

It boggled my mind to contemplate the idea of someone actually STORYBOARDING these useless, shaky, headache-inducing closeups of hands locking doors and flicking switches. They actually took the TIME, SET UP the shot of him in his underwear, waiting to swat the fly.

I wanted them to die.

And I don't want to give away the piece de resistance, but I will say that the final shot was so entirely, maddeningly predictable that I had just said 'Oh, NO, they are NOT going to blah blah blah' right before they did JUST THAT.

:doh:

If I ever run into anyone involved with the production of 'Open Water' I'm going to loudly demand eight dollars from them, and then kick them in the shins.

[Beth]

Hehe. Thanks. I'll take your word on it and not see it.

[livius drusus]

Okay, please pardon the off-topicness, but OMG, Sonnet, Louise Gluck taught a poetry class I was in at Williams! She's the first and only person to screw a villanelle out of me. :)

[viscousmemories]

That's a great review, Sonnet. Thanks. :)

Btw if you want to give away the end (and I for one would like to see you do it) just surround your text with the [spoiler] tags and it'll be hidden from those who don't want to see it.

Oh, and I looked up and read that poem when I first saw your sig. I really liked it, but I didn't say so 'cause then you'd be all "oh, you read poetry?" and really I don't, so I thought I'd save myself that embarrassment. :P

[Goliath]

She's the first and only person to screw a villanelle out of me. :)

Sounds kinky. :wink:

:SM:

:P

[Sonnet]

Okay, please pardon the off-topicness, but OMG, Sonnet, Louise Gluck taught a poetry class I was in at Williams! She's the first and only person to screw a villanelle out of me. :)

:eek: Get OUT!!!! :bow:

[livius drusus]

:eek: Get OUT!!!! :bow:

If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'. She's a great, great teacher; very down to earth, very focused on the individual student. Her gentle manner and passion brought out the absolute best in everyone, even the shit poets like me.

It was one of the top 5 classes of my life, and I was dragged into it kicking and screaming by my best friend who is a great poet. I figured she just wanted me there to make her look better, but she knew being taught poetry by Louise Gluck was not something to pass up. How right she was.

P.S. - Hesh up, Goliath. ;)

[Dingfod]

Last weekend, my daughter Roxy asked me if I wanted to go see Open Water with her.

Even without seeing any reviews, I'd heard enough to know that I wasn't interested in seeing a movie about skindivers being left behind by their dive boat. An hour and a half of two people in the ocean. Let's see what possibly could happen to them out there; uh, sharks of course... and sea snakes... and sea slugs... and jellyfish... and thirst... and hunger... and despair.

Uh.... "No!"

Do I regret not seeing it? No. Even more so, with Sonnet's moving review.

[Paul H.]

Hm, “Sonnet”, you said a couple of things that made me think you were reviewing the movie about the two divers who were left behind. But most of what you said, made me think you were talking about something else.

I don’t understand why there are references to “Open Water” (the movie) in what you said. Is that what you were talking about?

“Open Water” (the movie about the divers who were left behind) was really good.

Keeping in mind that the movie had a shoe-string budget, almost home-made movie filmed on weekends… name me a better movie in that category?

There were, especially in the opening, bits that made me cringe. A little too home-movie. But once on the water, the realism as engrossing. A masterpiece of independent film-making, in fact.

I originally rented the DVD for lack of anything better that day, pretty much based on pure curiousity about how one could stretch such a simple story to a full-length film.

Well, they did, and did it well.

It viscerally captured the sea-level-view of the situation. It realistically covered the emotional and physcial escalations…

Perhaps being a diver oneself helps, but as a low budget “interesting” movie, “Open Water” rates very very well.

[Jesus Christ]

Keeping in mind that the movie had a shoe-string budget, almost home-made movie filmed on weekends… name me a better movie in that category?

Blair Witch Project.

[TomJoe]

Both Open Water and Blair Witch Project ... sucked.

If I want to get motion sickness from watching a movie, I'll watch a few of my own crappily recorded home movies.

BTW: Lately FF keeps reminding me of Easter, what with all these threads rising from the grave and all.

[Legs]

I saw open water whilst suffering from a nasty bladder infection and fever.

So it was twice the torture. :eek:

[The Lone Ranger]

Both Open Water and Blair Witch Project ... sucked.

If I want to get motion sickness from watching a movie, I'll watch a few of my own crappily recorded home movies.

BTW: Lately FF keeps reminding me of Easter, what with all these threads rising from the grave and all.

I saw the Blair Witch Project in the theater and couldn't figure out what all the fuss was about. I'd been hearing about what a terrific movie it was, but for the most part, I thought it was just plain boring. That, coupled with the nausea-inducing camera work made it a less than enjoyable experience.

By 30 minutes into the movie or thereabouts, I was rooting for the "Witch" or whatever to do all of us a favor and remove those morons from the gene pool.

Cheers,

Michael

[viscousmemories]

I still haven't seen Blair Witch or The Sixth Sense, two movies I hear about constantly.

[Legs]

I liked the Sixth Sense :yup:

Rent it vm, you will enjoy it.

[viscousmemories]

The problem is I already know the big secret. :(

[Legs]

That doesn't matter, I also know the 'big secret' and enjoy watching it :)

Speaking of 'big secrets' have you seen The Others? it has the same kinda theme

[viscousmemories]

I have, but unfortunately I can't remember the details of anything that happened past last week. I've been keeping a running log of the movies I watch and a couple words about them here (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/journal.php?do=showjournal&j=3). Until this last entry I was adding a 1-5 rating too, but I realized that's just dumb.

I saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith last night. I like watching Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie enough that it was worthwhile despite the painfully bad storyline.

[Cynical-Chick]

I agree about Mr & Mrs Smith, vm.. can you believe their on-screen chemistry?

My coworker (at the theater) was telling me today how when he worked at the theater on the Norfolk base, he and his coworkers would tell people to avoid the movie (not something you're really supposed to do).

[JoeP]

The Others is great. And I watched sicthsensth a second time the other week - it does well on a second watching.