What the

[D. Scarlatti]

So I'm in Target on the weekend, and I see these little packages of five pairs of underwear for 9.99. I think, that's a pretty good deal; they must be crap for that money, but what the hell.

I also got three pairs of boxer shorts with Halloween motifs on them, like "Boo!" and stuff.

So anyway I get home and I'm modelling the two-dollar underwear in front of the full length mirror, and I'm thinking, these look a bit fruity, they're cut so high up the sides and they're clutching my testicles a bit tightly, but on the whole, they're pretty comfortable. Good deal; I'm satisfied with the purchase.

Then I notice there's no slot in the front! I don't know what you call it, but it's the part you put your penis through to take a leak.

So what the hell - did I buy women's underwear or something? Or is this a new thing?

[livius drusus]

:laughdie:

Oh man that's funny. Women's underwear (mainly granny panties) have been sold in packs for as long as I've been alive. Fruit of the Loom is bi now, honey.

[D. Scarlatti]

Well what do I know. I've bought underwear in packs forever. My mother gives me packs of underwear for Christmas every year. I've never seen any with nowhere to put your penis out.

I even bought a pack of underwear at Marks and Spencer on Oxford Street in 1986. I still have them, and they're my favorites. Of course the elastic in the waist is completely shot now, and if I wear them with dress pants after about two hours they're somewhere down around my knees.

I mentioned this one time to a guy I work with who's from London, and he said, "I have those exact underwear too!" Well, not the exact same ones, but from the same batch.

[Adora]

XD I love those cheap-O underpants. And now I love them even more. You're awesome, Scarlatti. You know that?

Also, post photos or retract! XD

[Legs]

My mother gives me packs of underwear for Christmas every year.

It's Sept 20.. you only had 12 weeks to wait. You must have been desperate :chin:

[Petra]

...I'm modelling the two-dollar underwear in front of the full length mirror....they're cut so high up the sides and they're clutching my testicles a bit tightly....Good deal; I'm satisfied with the purchase.

Have we just uncovered a new you? You sexy thang, you. :wink:



But anyway, with regard to the slot thing, is it too hard to just pop it over the top?

[D. Scarlatti]

But anyway, is it too hard to just pop over the top?

I beg your pardon? That's a rather personal question.

By the way I can wait for Christmas just fine. I have more underwear than you can shake a stick at, at least you could shake it if I could get the damn thing through a slot or something.

[Petra]

But anyway, is it too hard to just pop over the top?

I beg your pardon?

Ooops! Sorry, I edited my post - didn't mean to be so ambiguous, if you know what I mean. :wink:

...shake a stick...if I could get the damn thing through a slot or something.


Like Adora said, post proof or retract. :cool:

[D. Scarlatti]

That ain't going to happen. They only do that at Gurdur's board.

[Petra]

That ain't going to happen. They only do that at Gurdur's board.

Pity.

[D. Scarlatti]

Look at these ones (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=8321313348&ssPageName=MERC_VI_ReBay_Pr4_PcY_BIN_Stores_IT), fer chrissakes.

Imagine if you were in a car accident? Men wear these?

With my luck if I bought underwear on ebay they'd have a skid mark in them.

[Petra]

With my luck if I bought underwear on ebay they'd have a skid mark in them.

:giggle:


I loved the big, brassy, bold "Check out my other items!"


Hehe. Give the man a bullhorn. Ebay rules.

[D. Scarlatti]

"Check out my other items!"

That'll be the title of my photo spread.

[livius drusus]

Why are they without tags is what I want to know.

[D. Scarlatti]

You need to apply strict constructionism to ebay listings.

They're not "without tags," they're "with out tags."

Geddit?

[lisarea]

TARGET.

One time, I'm with my brother at Target, and he buys this one pair of underwear in a box (one pair, IN A BOX) that's on clearance for cheap. He gets it back to my house, takes it out of the box, and: TOTALLY different underwear. The box said it was Calvin Klein or something, briefs.

But inside the box: A man thong. Also: the tag on the inside read "Underwear Exchange."

Like it's some kind of big culture jamming thing or something. Underwear exchange.

So my brother left the man thong here, and every now and again, I would do something like put it in the Little Muffin's backpack before he went to school, or someone puts it on over their clothes, or we try to get the dog to wear it.

Anyways, um, yes, some men's underpants, usually like the bikini kind, does not have the slot. You are supposed to scrunch them down when you go. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have to scrunch your underpants down to urinate, and most of all, I am sorry that I know about that.

[viscousmemories]

I was a scruncher when I wore tighty-whities, and I'm a scruncher still with boxer briefs. I've always found the penis door vastly over-complicated and I've never seen men's underwear without one. We need more information, I think. Scarlatti are they silk with lace edges by any chance?

[Ari]

Glad to know I'm not the only one that doesn't use the stupid flap thingies.

[D. Scarlatti]

I know from scrunching, even though I didn't know that's what it's called. I have always scrunched anyway with briefs but you don't need to scrunch with dress pants and boxers where the fella is pretty accessible. I just didn't realize that underwear manufacturers have decided to deny the option of scrunching or not scrunching. That is what this thread is all about, the wider socio-economic implications.

And no they are not silk with lace edges. :glare:

One of you other preverts can start your own thread about wearing ladies' underwear.

[viscousmemories]

'Cause they make women's panties these days called "boy shorts", that's all I'm sayin'.

[D. Scarlatti]

Okay I googled boy shorts but I don't think the links are work safe. You learn so much here.

I could have a heart attack right now and the police would come and look at my browser history and see "boy shorts." I'm not comfortable with that. Or "man thong." I'm sorry, but I'm not about to google man thong.

[Sweetie]

:roflmao:

[Sweetie]

XD I love those cheap-O underpants. And now I love them even more. You're awesome, Scarlatti. You know that?

Also, post photos or retract! XD

I don't know if that's a compliment considering you tend to like hairless youthful girly men the most (maybe you subconsciously think that men like that or weak and you can control them or something? Just a thought. :dunno: ).

He's very adult and distinctively male. Not your type I think. :shrug:

[freemonkey]

I want to nominate this thread as "Cutest Thread of the Year" :aww:

[Sweetie]

It really is cute. I'm sorry D. Scarlatti, I don't know where you would wish lines to be drawn as far as my participation or lack thereof in your threads or whatever, but I always appreciated your sense of humour......when I wasn't a target.....:brooding: :P

Anyways, let me know what you would wish of me as far as that goes. Besides that though, once again:

:roflmao:

[lisarea]

Okay I googled boy shorts but I don't think the links are work safe. You learn so much here.

I could have a heart attack right now and the police would come and look at my browser history and see "boy shorts." I'm not comfortable with that. Or "man thong." I'm sorry, but I'm not about to google man thong.

Oh, come on. You know you want to.

You probably won't even have a heart attack. And even if you did, why would the police come, and why would they be checking your browser history?

Cliiiiick the liiiiink. (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&c2coff=1&q=%22man+thong%22&btnG=Search)

[D. Scarlatti]

Cliiiiick the liiiiink. (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&c2coff=1&q=%22man+thong%22&btnG=Search)

:laugh:

Hey, they have fun patterns.

I'm not clicking on any of the hits though. "Gay man in underwear"? I think not.

Preverts.

[lisarea]

Cliiiiick the liiiiink. (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&c2coff=1&q=%22man+thong%22&btnG=Search)

:laugh:

Hey, they have fun patterns.

You know, I kind of suck at knitting, but that gives me a little incentive to give it another shot.


I'm not clicking on any of the hits though. "Gay man in underwear"? I think not.

Fine, fine. I'll find you some straight men in underwear, little Mr. Fussypants.

[D. Scarlatti]

I don't know about you, but when I think "knitting," my immediate association isn't "man thong."

Takes all kinds, I guess. Maybe the ODB would like a nice chenille man thong?

[livius drusus]

Chenille is really soft and snuggly. I think it would make an outstanding man thong.

[Crumb]

I just didn't realize that underwear manufacturers have decided to deny the option of scrunching or not scrunching. That is what this thread is all about, the wider socio-economic implications.
Most of my underwear lacks any flaps and such, and I never use the ones that do have them.

[Ymir's blood]

I've been looking for some Halloween themed boxers but they need the flaps. A loose fit is a must as well.

[Adora]

maybe you subconsciously think that men like that or weak and you can control them or something? Just a thought. :dunno:.
Dawwwwwww, lookit the Sweetie. She's trying to be passive-aggressive. Ain't it cute? Who's a clevah girl? You wanna a banana as a reward? Here you go. Awwwww such a clever girl.

He's very adult and distinctively male. Not your type I think.
Oh god, this is to easy. And what is "my type", exactly, Sweetie?

[D. Scarlatti]

I think it would make an outstanding man thong.

"Outstanding" being your favorite configuration of man thong, no doubt.

[livius drusus]

Depends on if it's front or back view.

[D. Scarlatti]

:laugh:

Gross!

[livius drusus]

I know! :giggle:

[Veritas]

Why not just cut your own penis hole? (God I never thought I'd type that sentence in a public forum...)

Or...do what women do! Pull your pants down to pee!

[viscousmemories]

Why not just cut your own penis hole?
That hurts just thinking about it. :shudder:

[D. Scarlatti]

Why not just cut your own penis hole?

Reminds me of that incident with the Loctite ...

[lisarea]

I don't know about you, but when I think "knitting," my immediate association isn't "man thong."

Yeah, I usually associate knitting with the traditional belt/whip (http://knitty.com/ISSUEsummer04/PATTflick.html) thing, too, but you can make condom cozies and all kinds of manties, too!


Takes all kinds, I guess. Maybe the ODB would like a nice chenille man thong?

Oh, is that a hint regarding the straight men in underwear offer?

Okey dokey, then. And I actually HAVE some nice cotton chenille yarn. Seafoam green or taupe? Should I email you the pictures, or just post them here?

[livius drusus]

Green! Green! Post them here! Post them here! :hyper:

[Trojan]

I want to nominate this thread as "Cutest Thread of the Year" :aww:
I agree!! :happy: I've run into a few instances like that before, but not exactly! And for what it's worth I never use the opening in front, too cumbersome. I live in a mostly Black area and being very Caucasian and very blonde puts me in danger of buying the wrong products. I got some shampoo and when I used it it smelled like perm solution, or Aretha Franklin. The density was unreal! It was like wax in my hair. I could spike it with my hands and it would lock. After a dozen washes with dishsoap I noted the bottle said in tiny letters: "Specifically formulated for women of color." I read labels closely now. I can still smell that permy smell. :ill:

[D. Scarlatti]

The density was unreal! It was like wax in my hair. I could spike it with my hands and it would lock.

I've never been close enough to Aretha Franklin to smell her, but what you're describing sounds uncannily like this:


http://www.murrayspomade.com/images/murrays.gif


I was going to start another thread about Dax!

[Trojan]

The density was unreal! It was like wax in my hair. I could spike it with my hands and it would lock.

I've never been close enough to Aretha Franklin to smell her, but what you're describing sounds uncannily like this:


http://www.murrayspomade.com/images/murrays.gif


I was going to start another thread about Dax!
Actually I'm sure Aretha smells alot better than that shampoo. That stuff in the can looks like a contender! When I was a wee lad my mother got perms, gave perms, etc and that smell would saturate the house for weeks! It just didn't work with my long, straight blonde hair that's for sure. I also got some aftershave in a hurry at the same store named "Afta." I thought nothing of it until I opened it. It was strong and pungent, like the smell of a payphone. Had to toss that as well. What is Dax??

[D. Scarlatti]

Same thing basically:

http://a1061.g.akamai.net/7/1061/5412/home/www.walgreens.com/dbimagecache/211258.jpg

It's a fine product.

[Dingfod]

http://www.restrainingbolt.com/otherprops/pics/misc/dapperdan.jpg

[JoeP]

Man thong to Dapper Dan in one page...

[livius drusus]

I once found an ancient tube of Bryll Cream my dad had kept in the medicine cabinet years past the point when he actually had the hair to put it in. I had never heard of the stuff and it called itself "conditioner" so I thought it was just a lather-rinse-repeat product like the conditioners I knew.

I washed my hair 6 times that night trying to get that cursed spooge and its disgusting stank out. I know just how Lady MacBeth felt, believe me.

[D. Scarlatti]

Does Aretha Franklin smell like a pay phone? I've never heard anybody say something smells like a pay phone. That's a good one.

[Bella]

You know how they have those special shampoos and conditioners for blonde, red, and brunette hair? Well, when I first moved to the Twin Cities last year, I was delighted to find a bottle boasting "for black hair" on the shelf next to the other, more colourful products. I bought it and eagerly jumped in the shower to try it. 'Man, it's about time they made stuff for people with black hair,' I said to myself. I'd been jealous of my redheaded and bottle-blonde counterparts (hey, people with black hair want highlights from their shampoo, too!), and I was excited to join the party. Well...

I ended up smelling like Aretha Franklin too, and I had to get another perm - the shit just wouldn't wash out. I felt - and still feel - like a dumbass.

[D. Scarlatti]

I've been looking for some Halloween themed boxers but they need the flaps. A loose fit is a must as well.

I checked Target's website, but the boxers I purchased on the weekend at the bricks and mortar Target are not featured. These were made by "Prepare To Scare," a Thailand company. They are 100% cotton, and you should wash them in warm water with similar colors (black and orange, that is).

If you have any further questions please contact the underwear'd.

[Leesifer]

You know how they have those special shampoos and conditioners for blonde, red, and brunette hair? Well, when I first moved to the Twin Cities last year, I was delighted to find a bottle boasting "for black hair" on the shelf next to the other, more colourful products. I bought it and eagerly jumped in the shower to try it. 'Man, it's about time they made stuff for people with black hair,' I said to myself. I'd been jealous of my redheaded and bottle-blonde counterparts (hey, people with black hair want highlights from their shampoo, too!), and I was excited to join the party. Well...

I ended up smelling like Aretha Franklin too, and I had to get another perm - the shit just wouldn't wash out. I felt - and still feel - like a dumbass.

:giggle: That's exactly the sort of thing I'd do.

[viscousmemories]

These were made by "Prepare To Scare," a Thailand company.
This begs for a sex-offender joke, but I can't think of one that isn't more disturbing than funny.

[curses]

I've been looking for some Halloween themed boxers but they need the flaps. A loose fit is a must as well.

I checked Target's website, but the boxers I purchased on the weekend at the bricks and mortar Target are not featured. These were made by "Prepare To Scare," a Thailand company. They are 100% cotton, and you should wash them in warm water with similar colors (black and orange, that is).

If you have any further questions please contact the underwear'd.
You could give your local Wally World a try, too. (Wal Mart is like crack, you know it's bad, but you just can't stop it because of the low low prices) I just bought some cute halloween underwear there. My reasoning = if they have Halloween undies for chicks, there must be a like thing in the guy's section.

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

Why in God's name did I just read this thread?

d company.

This begs for a sex-offender joke, but I can't think of one that isn't more disturbing than funny.


I wanna hear!

[Trojan]

Same thing basically:

http://a1061.g.akamai.net/7/1061/5412/home/www.walgreens.com/dbimagecache/211258.jpg

It's a fine product.
I think I'll stick to the standard VO5 brand. :eek:

[Trojan]

http://www.restrainingbolt.com/otherprops/pics/misc/dapperdan.jpg
With SEAL OIL! People musta stunk back then.

[Trojan]

You know how they have those special shampoos and conditioners for blonde, red, and brunette hair? Well, when I first moved to the Twin Cities last year, I was delighted to find a bottle boasting "for black hair" on the shelf next to the other, more colourful products. I bought it and eagerly jumped in the shower to try it. 'Man, it's about time they made stuff for people with black hair,' I said to myself. I'd been jealous of my redheaded and bottle-blonde counterparts (hey, people with black hair want highlights from their shampoo, too!), and I was excited to join the party. Well...

I ended up smelling like Aretha Franklin too, and I had to get another perm - the shit just wouldn't wash out. I felt - and still feel - like a dumbass.
I am supremely relieved I'm not the only one duped by the plethora of choices out there! That stuff sounds exactly like what I got! $5 blown away and no one to even give it too! Ugh. That perm smell is almost locker-roomesque. :dunno2:

[Ymir's blood]

I've been looking for some Halloween themed boxers but they need the flaps. A loose fit is a must as well.

I checked Target's website, but the boxers I purchased on the weekend at the bricks and mortar Target are not featured. These were made by "Prepare To Scare," a Thailand company. They are 100% cotton, and you should wash them in warm water with similar colors (black and orange, that is).

If you have any further questions please contact the underwear'd.
Black huh? I'm not sure if I have anything to wash with that. :chin:

[Ymir's blood]

You could give your local Wally World a try, too. (Wal Mart is like crack, you know it's bad, but you just can't stop it because of the low low prices) I just bought some cute halloween underwear there. My reasoning = if they have Halloween undies for chicks, there must be a like thing in the guy's section.
I looked yesterday, but no dice (or themed boxers either.)