Elect me as Empress of this forum...

[Veritas]

...or you die.

I have had PM's from loads of people welcoming my standing for election, therefore, that means I'm great.

Simply post a message here to register your support, and in due course I will take over. Those who refrain, expect a kneecapping. :twoguns:

Or death by a thousand cuts. :stab:

[Legs]

Off with her head :behead:

[livius drusus]

Hail peaches!
:bow2:

[livius drusus]

Hail Legs!
:worship:

[Veritas]

Turncoat! :hanging:

[Ari]

I don't know who to vote for.
The stabbing guy is perfectly stabbing along to the beat of the music I'm listening too.
But then again, the bunny seems to be dancing almost on beat as well.

[Adora]

Nah man. I'm all about the TarePanda. San-X bought my soul when they made that adorable thing.

[Veritas]

I'll count that as a vote for me, Adora. :D

[Dingfod]

I bow before no earthly goddess, only at the temple of the one and only.

[Veritas]

That'll be me, then.

:caesar:

[Dingfod]

Sorry, that would be the mystical all-knowing livius drusus, none other.

[Veritas]

Thanks for your support, mortal scum.

:abitmuch:

[Dingfod]

Ouch?

[livius drusus]

What, you don't allow your subjects to have mystical all-knowing goddesses, now? So it's not just an empress's throne you're after. :susp2:

[Legs]

Shouldn't an empress marry into the position or be born to it?

Can you really elect one? :chin:

[Veritas]

Jeez, you can't even take over someone's f***ing forum these days without having your subjects murmuring and complaining about you...

And why should an empress censor her own fucking swear words?

Shit...taking over the world's really gonna be a pisser if you lot are such hard work.

[JoeP]

I'm not scared of you! Besides, what will you do, if elected, for members with capitals in their names? Let alone those with numbers and apostrophes.

I'm not scared of :livpope: either. Ow! :livcrop: Stop! :control:

[Veritas]

Shouldn't an empress marry into the position or be born to it?

Can you really elect one? :chin:

Ancient Rome didn't bother with such wankery as bloodlines or marriage. Some were adopted into it, some had the position thrust upon them, which is kind of like an election. Therefore, you are wrong and I rule.

[Veritas]

...what will you do, if* elected, for members with capitals in their names?

Line them up against a wall and shove hamsters up their arses.

*Ha ha - as if you have a choice!

[livius drusus]

Gee peaches, what are we gonna do tonight? The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!
:pinky::peach:

[Legs]

Ancient Rome didn't bother with such wankery as bloodlines or marriage. Some were adopted into it, some had the position thrust upon them, which is kind of like an election. Therefore, you are wrong and I rule.


I don't recall anyone filling out adoption papers for you or any thrusting for that matter.

[Veritas]

I'm taking over the whole world in a different way.

A way that makes no sense.

So sue me.

[Adora]

I'll count that as a vote for me, Adora. :D
Actually, it's a vote for Legs's sig.

[Legs]

Actually, it's a vote for Legs's sig.
I'd rather you vote for sp :hand:

[Veritas]

So would I. :D

[livius drusus]

Please. We all know the votes are getting locked up in a lead box and the person who throws it furthest will win. You can vote for dogcatcher for all the difference it'll make.

[Veritas]

Okay, okay, let's just declare me the winner of this one-horse-race and have done with it. May I have an Empress Scarletpeaches smiley, please?

Err...I mean, NOW, MORTAL SCUM!

Thanks ever so. :)

[Legs]

May I have an Empress Scarletpeaches smiley, please?



:curlers:

[Veritas]

:fuckyou:

[livius drusus]

:rollpin:

[Veritas]

:plotting:

[livius drusus]

Oh okay, but I ain't animating it. :empress:

[Ymir's blood]

Empress Scarletpeaches...

How strange that I just finished watching The Masque of the Red Death, starring Vincent Price.

:mori: memento mori

[Crumb]

If you are Empress will there be free peaches?

[Corona688]

Hail peaches!
:bow2: Hell, even the admin's doing it. Hail caesar!

[Philosophy]

I thought you were a man, not a woman...I'm wrong again, alas...

Who would be the Emperor if you are the Empress then?

Emperor Philosophy of the Scarlet Moon Empire Long Live!

I'm Philosophius Adronicus Constantinus Romanus I The Great!...

:king: We are now Our Imperial Majesties the Emperor and Empress of the Scarlet Moon Empire! :king:

[I]We hereby appoint livius drusus Our Great King of Gestenberg Highland Kingdom and Imperial Protector of the Majestic Grace[/Imperial-Seal]

Go Imperial Protector and make Us proud. Suppress all rebellions against our Imperial Crowning Ceremony to the ground!! :giggle:

[Legs]

:king: We are now Our Imperial Majesties the Emperor and Empress of the Scarlet Moon Empire! :king:


:getaroom:

[Dingfod]

I don't need no stinking Empress. Check out my user title.

[Philosophy]

:king: We are now Our Imperial Majesties the Emperor and Empress of the Scarlet Moon Empire! :king:


:getaroom:


hmm...not really. I'm not much fond of Scottish girl :yawn:

and besides, i said "never" in the other thread... :doh:

[Philosophy]

I don't need no stinking Empress. Check out my user title.

You're a King so you only need a queen :queen: and furthermore kings < emperors! :giggle:

[Legs]

hmm...not really. I'm not much fond of Scottish girl :yawn:

and besides, i said "never" in the other thread... :doh:

You have to consummate to make it official... and I beleive there is the charming little custom of hanging the bloodied sheets out for all to bear witness.

[Philosophy]

hmm...not really. I'm not much fond of Scottish girl :yawn:

and besides, i said "never" in the other thread... :doh:

You have to consummate to make it official... and I beleive there is the charming little custom of hanging the bloodied sheets out for all to bear witness.

What are the bloodied sheets? sorry it's late i can't think so you have to tell me what that is. :yawn:

[Veritas]

So in my absence I've been married off against my will to someone who doesn't like Scottish girls? Isn't it traditional, besides the bloody sheets, to actually ask someone if they want to marry you?

Oh, and the answer's no. I fail to see why an Empress 'needs' an Emperor. I don't. So there. I rule. Alone.

Although if Joaquin Phoenix happened to join this forum...

[livius drusus]

(Psst... Smilies can only be 8 characters long, so I just went with empress as the smileytext. The hovertext says Empress Scarletpeaches, though.)

[Veritas]

:king: We are now Our Imperial Majesties the Emperor and Empress of the Scarlet Moon Empire! :king:

Are we fuck. You get your own empire. :glare:

[Veritas]

:empress:

[Legs]

:empress:

whats that thing on the side of her face? looks like a melanoma???

[livius drusus]

It's a leaf. On account of she's a peach. :glare:

[Veritas]

Can you animate me? I'd like to have some authoritarian glaring or bouncing in my smiley, please. :D Or could I zap someone with my Sceptre of Doom?

[livius drusus]

I thought I explicitly said I wasn't going to animate you. :narrow: A zapping spectre of doom she wants now grumble grumble...

[Legs]

On account of she's a peach.

She sure is, liv..... she sure is :cool:

[Petra]

I can't vote for an Empress that needs to use asterixeses when she cusseses! No, no, no! I want to vote for an Empress who can use the alphabet, even when it's not the letters people want to see. I want an Empress who can hoist her skirts, straddle the flying fox alphabet, and ride that sucker at 500ft above the treetops, at a 70 degree angle, unabashedly using unasterixeded colourful language. In other words, a real Empress. I nominate Albert, The Traditional Catholic!

:bow4:

[Petra]

It's a leaf. On account of she's a peach. :glare:


Well.....she's definitely a fruit. :yup:

[JoeP]

I thought I explicitly said I wasn't going to animate you. :narrow: A zapping spectre of doom she wants now grumble grumble...
And she hasn't even had the grace to put the smilie in her signature. Some Empress this is turning out to be.

Viva La Repubblica! (Di Pensiero Libero?)

[livius drusus]

Sounds like a Verdi aria. :sing:

[Dingfod]

...and furthermore kings < emperors! :giggle:Maybe in your little world that's true, but where I come from: king of the world and protector of the known universe > any other world leaders > tribal chieftans > garbage dump workers union shop stewards > used car salesmen > FEMA administrators > emperors/empresses.

[Veritas]

I will put my smiley in my signature when I have a Sceptre of Doom, all right?! (Not spectre, Liv :) )

You bunch of cunts! Fuckheads! Shitweasels! (That was for you, lunachick)! :D

Calling me a fruit indeed...Do I look like a fruitloop to you?

Don't answer that.

:empress:

[Dingfod]

At least you spelled smiley right. One point for the peach frootloop.

[JoeP]

Warren, you have been sucked into her redness's hell. Smilie is the correct spelling.

[Veritas]

Correct is what I say it is, scumbag! :empress:

[JoeP]

The Empress has no clothes!

[Ymir's blood]

The Empress has no clothes!
An excellent idea.

[MooseIBe]

I'm against monarchical and emperial (imperial?) systems per se so I can't vote, terribly sorry ;)

[Philosophy]

:king: We are now Our Imperial Majesties the Emperor and Empress of the Scarlet Moon Empire! :king:

Are we fuck. You get your own empire. :glare:

You want an Imperial War? Or an Imperial Divorce? If we divorce then you'll no longer be an Empress. You will then be a Duchess of ScarletPeaches only...:giggle:

:king: The Emperor rules :king: :monarch:

:giggle:

[Legs]

You want an Imperial War? Or an Imperial Divorce? If we divorce then you'll no longer be an Empress. You will then be a Duchess of ScarletPeaches only...



I suspect she will become a widow and keep her title. :P

[Veritas]

You got that right, Legs. Consider yourself promoted to Grand High Vizier in charge of Chocolate. A very important position.

As for you, Philosophy. Don't think you can declare yourself Emperor - We are not, never have been married. I am Empress Regnant, so even if I was married then divorced, it would be my husband who would lose his title.

You, on the other hand, are merely going to lose your head. Usurpation is a treasonable offence where I come from.

[Leesifer]

Are you Mary, Queen of Scots?

[Veritas]

She was never Empress.

[Leesifer]

I know, sorry I was trying to work in a python sketch. :cool:

Mind you, she wasn't Scottish either.

[Legs]

Consider yourself promoted to Grand High Vizier in charge of Chocolate.


:choccake: Let them eat cake!

[Veritas]

I know, sorry I was trying to work in a python sketch. :cool:

Mind you, she wasn't Scottish either.

Yes she was.

Or were you trying to work in another Python sketch that's gone way over my head? (Which is still attached to my neck)?

[Leesifer]

No it's not!

Bugger! Have I got my history wrong. I though Mary, Queen of Scots (she's dead, No I'm not) was French.

(Got my Python bit in)

[Veritas]

She lived in France for 15 years and was Queen, but was Scottish by birth. Her father was a Scot (James V) and her mother was Mary of Guise. Here endeth the lesson. :D

[Ymir's blood]

No true Scotswoman would...

[godfry n. glad]

While you're all puffing yourself up with delusions of grandeur, the empoverished masses are revolting

:mob::mob::mob::mob::mob::mob::mob::mob::mob::mob::mob::mob::mob:

and the barbarian is at the gate. :godfry:

[Ymir's blood]

While you're all puffing yourself up with delusions of grandeur, the empoverished masses are revolting
Let them take a bath.

[Leesifer]

I bow to you Empress. :bow:

She did marry a French King though and she was queen of France and she was going to give Scotland to the French. ayez à vous.

[Veritas]

She couldn't give Scotland to the French, she didn't have that much power. What would have happened had she had a child with Francis is that it would have been ruler of both countries. And I suppose being half-French she would have had a lot of French advisors. And the Scots don't like being told what to do, so I suppose you're right in a way.

Vive la Auld Alliance!

[Leesifer]

vive la Scots.

I have to confess the Tudor era is my favourite historical time.

I thought, though that Mary, Queen of Scots (I'm not dead) had agreed she would give Scotland to the French if she didn't have a son?

[Veritas]

I think it was all part of the marriage contract (in which she had no say), which all went bugger-up when Francis died anyway, so she went back to Scotland and reclaimed her throne. Married again, became a widow, got married to the man she claimed raped her and royally fucked up just about every move she ever made.

[livius drusus]

I really liked that Mary de Guise chick in the movie Elizabeth. She was a badass.

[Veritas]

She couldn't have been in that film; she was long dead by then.

[Leesifer]

Mary de Guise was most definitely a tough old bird.

[Leesifer]

She couldn't have been in that film; she was long dead by then.


I'M NOT DEAD!


(I know it's the wrong Mary,but I'm python obsessed at the moment)

[livius drusus]

She couldn't have been in that film; she was long dead by then.

Well she was! Her nephew Anjou was trying to get in Elizabeth's corset but Mary garrisoned Scotland with French troops and Norfolk browbeat Liz into mustering up some half-assed army and Mary beat the crap out of them and she told one of the kid soldiers to tell his reine to ne pas envoyer des enfants a combattre Marie de Guise.

SO THERE! :nyahnyah:

[Leesifer]

Blimey, outdone by an Italian-American!

[livius drusus]

:bowing: Thangyou, thangyouverymuch. But seriously folks, that's just the movie. I know they compress time and make people do things they didn't actually do in the name of art.

[Veritas]

She couldn't have been in that film; she was long dead by then.

Well she was! Her nephew Anjou was trying to get in Elizabeth's corset but Mary garrisoned Scotland with French troops and Norfolk browbeat Liz into mustering up some half-assed army and Mary beat the crap out of them and she told one of the kid soldiers to tell his reine to ne pas envoyer des enfants a combattre Marie de Guise.

SO THERE! :nyahnyah:

I thought she died years before Elizabeth became queen?

But then Elizabeth was about a decade older than MQoS...perhaps I have my dates mixed up; I bow to your greater knowledge. :doh:

When watching Elizabeth I always get distracted by the lovely Joseph Fiennes. *swoon*

[Leesifer]

No,no, they wrote quite a few of letters to each other:

[Veritas]

MQos and Elizabeth wrote to each other, I know that much. Or did you mean Mary of Guise? (All these Marys...couldn't they have displayed a bit more originality in their names)?

[Leesifer]

Obviously, they were quite contrary.

[Ymir's blood]

(All these Marys...couldn't they have displayed a bit more originality in their names)?
Still not as bad as Australia, where everyone is named Bruce.

[livius drusus]

When watching Elizabeth I always get distracted by the lovely Joseph Fiennes. *swoon*

Ecclestone is where it's at for me. I could watch him stomp across a room looking commanding all day and all night.

[Leesifer]

(All these Marys...couldn't they have displayed a bit more originality in their names)?
Still not as bad as Australia, where everyone is named Bruce.

Shit mate, what about the Sheilas

[Philosophy]

As for you, Philosophy. Don't think you can declare yourself Emperor - We are not, never have been married. I am Empress Regnant, so even if I was married then divorced, it would be my husband who would lose his title.

Being Empress is not easy...and you'll have to withstand my political affairs...Why do you want the power anyway?

By the way, do you want to marry me :giggle:

:monarch: + :empress: = :winner:

[Ymir's blood]

Right, let's get some Sheilas.

[Philosophy]

Right, let's get some Sheilas.

What's that? :doh:

[Veritas]

Obviously, they were quite contrary.

No they weren't! :glare:

[Veritas]

Being Empress is not easy...and you'll have to withstand my political affairs...Why do you want the power anyway?

By the way, do you want to marry me :giggle:

:monarch: + :empress: = :winner:

I don't have to do anything. Get it through your thick head - I AM EMPRESS. Women do not 'need' a partner to look after them. I do not 'want' power; I already have it. So stop trying to usurp it and feck off. :fuming:

Oh, and never in a million years.

[Ymir's blood]

Right, let's get some Sheilas.

What's that? :doh:
Philosophy knows nothing of Sheilas. :yup:

[Veritas]

That's obvious, given his overbearing 'chat-up' technique.

[Legs]

Two things...

1) The Empress needs a more fitting avatar

2) Who wants chocolate? :chocoluv:

[Veritas]

1) I'll have a look for one
2) Me, as always

[Ymir's blood]

There's nothing wrong with her avatar! :glare:

[Philosophy]

Oh, and never in a million years.

That's because you have not seen how godly handsome I am. :giggle:

[Philosophy]

There's nothing wrong with her avatar! :glare:

There is. It implies she's the Empress of Death. :doh:

[livius drusus]

What's that? :doh:

It's an Australian colloquialism meaning women.

[Legs]

There's nothing wrong with her avatar! :glare:


Alright, alright... back off blood-boy :whup:

[Veritas]

My new avatar implies I am the Empress of Stony-Faced authoritah!

:cartman:

[Legs]

My new avatar implies I am the Empress of Stony-Faced authoritah!

:cartman:

Thats not exactly what I had in mind... how about something like this?

http://www.cuttergallery.com/Images/Marsh/Marsh-WHAT-A-PEACH!.jpg

(but smaller)

or this

http://images.google.ca/images?q=tbn:mUxYT8c3a2AJ:www.pantagruel.de/pics/T012951B.jpg


or this? http://images.google.ca/images?q=tbn:1utJzNtD4_0J:forum.sacred-game.com/images/avatar/vampirlady.jpg

[livius drusus]

Oh man, that Marsh piece is freaking brilliant!

[Legs]

I like this one

http://images.google.ca/images?q=tbn:q4VHGycs4M8J:www.danuszia.com/gallery/albums/album06/carnival_001.sized.jpg

[livius drusus]

Too dark. It's hard to distinguish all that cool detail.

[Veritas]

Done :D

[livius drusus]

:woohoo: Now that's an avatar fit for an empress.

[Veritas]

I should have said:

Done :D :empress: :D

[Legs]

Too dark. It's hard to distinguish all that cool detail.

Well I was trying to keep Ymir's blood, happy :P

[livius drusus]

I should have said:

Done :D :empress: :D

Or:

Done :jester2: :empress: :jester2:

[Veritas]

Ah yes, I must get myself a jester. Any volunteers?

:jester:
:empress:

[Ymir's blood]

Too dark. It's hard to distinguish all that cool detail.

Well I was trying to keep Ymir's blood, happy :P
can't be done, the miserable bastard
:skull2:

[Legs]

Too dark. It's hard to distinguish all that cool detail.

Well I was trying to keep Ymir's blood, happy :P
can't be done, the miserable bastard
:skull2:


The road to Hell is paved with good intentions :shrug:

[Veritas]

Actually the road to hell is paved with the skulls of unrepentant sinners.

:skull:

[Crumb]

:jester2:

[Philosophy]

Empress, why do you have the butt-shaped apple (is it apple, really?) as your head? :doh:

[godfry n. glad]

Empress, why do you have the butt-shaped apple (is it apple, really?) as your head? :doh:

It's a peach, you ninny.

I'm still trying to figure out why the yonic fig and the flying duck are in it.

[Veritas]

Because I couldn't give a fig about it all, and the duck is a symbol of me being quackers.

:jester:

[Dingfod]

Are you still at it? I'd give you a dollar if you'd go buy a clue with it. heh-heh