Christian Sex Education in the 1950s

[Petra]

How Babies Are Born (http://homepage.mac.com/howthedevil/.Music/howbabiesareborn.mp3)
Girls and Menstruation (http://homepage.mac.com/howthedevil/.Music/girlsandmenstruation.mp3)
The Problem With Growing Boys (http://homepage.mac.com/howthedevil/.Music/theproblemwithgrowingboys.mp3)
The Marriage Union (http://homepage.mac.com/howthedevil/.Music/themarriageunion.mp3)

Christopher Recordings on Sex Instruction (http://www.postfun.com/pfp/features/98/aug/christian_sex.html#crsi)

:giggle:

[MooseIBe]

Are there any of those in transcript form? My computer can't cope with video clips :(

[Petra]

Not that I'm aware of, Moosie. They're not vid clips, though - just mp3 recordings taken from old vinyl records.

I can email you the files if you're really keen. :)

[MooseIBe]

Well i can prolly get the gist from the ensuing discussion ;). I have the feeling they might be amusing though..

[Petra]

I think they're amusing. :D

They're made up of very cheesy little plays, and include all sorts of irrelevant stuff like dad sawing wood. (LOL)

And, they're full of other unintentional double-entendres that made me giggle. And lots of "Golly, gee, dad!" and that kind of thing.

[fragment]

I listened to "The problem with growing boys", it was pretty funny. I could practically see the idyllic 50s suburbia while listening to it.

[Dragar]

They're hilarious.

[Dragar]

"...but when a doctor speaks of the male organ, he calls it a penis."

"Yeah, I know that already Dad."

"Now, this organ is a most wonderful example of how God designed everything with a particular purpose."

"I don't get you."

"Well, when a man and a woman are married Bob, they love each other very much. And when showing their love, their instinct is to embrace each other as in becoming the one person God intended them to be. Well son, so closely has God connected our emotions with our bodies that this embrace brings forth a desire for...physical oneness. And that's exactly the way God planned it.

"So the penis of the husband actually passes within the wife's body. That's the actual oneness"

"Geez, is that's what happens when people get married?"

"That's right."

[SharonDee]

Well, that first recording certainly demonstrates how much easier it is to explain things when you say, "God did it." Do the rest follow suit?

[Ensign Steve]

Oh how I want to strangle this whining, stuttering little boy!

Aside from that, this shit is pretty hysterical.

"Mothers have a tiny hole in their bodies." You give me far too much credit, Dad. You tiny-dicked bastard.

[Crumb]

You give me far too much credit, Dad. You tiny-dicked bastard.
:roflmao:

[Petra]

Well, that first recording certainly demonstrates how much easier it is to explain things when you say, "God did it." Do the rest follow suit?


Hehe. Pretty much.


DAD:
One of these nights before too long you may find some of it (semen) passes off in your sleep . . .

BOB:
(worriedly) But Dad, that's wrong, isn't it?

DAD:
No, son, it's not wrong . . . No, it's true that to waste the seed deliberately - to do anything knowingly to make it come is a very grave sin. Because God designed that secretion in a man for one purpose. That is to be, well, like one of his raw materials in the creation of a new life . . . Wet dreams are different. Sometimes the supply of semen becomes too great before a man is married and these dreams are sort of a safety valve . . .

BOB:
But Dad, why do fellas get these feelings before they get married?

DAD:
Don't let those thoughts worry you. When they come - and they will every so often - remember that you can always knock them down with a simple one-two punch: a quick little prayer and then some work. Any work or sport just as long as it is hard. Which reminds me - how about going out back and seeing if you can sneak that curve ball past me . . .


:innocent:

[Ensign Steve]

Did you guys see that episode of American Dad? Stan is teaching the boy to do wood-burning crafts in order to keep his hands busy and out of his pants. The boy accidentally burns Stan's penis with the wood burning tool, and Stan has to apply burn ointment to the wound. He ends up becomming addicted to applying the ointment because it's the only way he can legally touch himself. It's pretty fucking hysterical.

[Ymir's blood]

DAD:
Don't let those thoughts worry you. When they come - and they will every so often - remember that you can always knock them down with a simple one-two punch: a quick little prayer and then some work. Any work or sport just as long as it is hard. Which reminds me - how about going out back and seeing if you can sneak that curve ball past me . . .


:innocent:
/me bets 'Dad' won't mind if 'Bob' slips him a spitball either.