The Melbourne Cup [Archive] - Freethought Forum

Carnivale Ed

10-31-2005, 04:00 AM

Okay, this could work, or this could die in the arse, we’ll see.

For those of you who don’t know (pretty much everyone, I assume), it’s Spring Racing Carnival time in Melbourne at the moment. Tomorrow is Melbourne Cup Day, the biggest day on the racing calendar, the day when every Australian is guaranteed to hear the phrase, “The Race That Stops A Nation,” at least 487 times. It’s actually a pretty good week if you’re into horse racing, but it’s a pretty awesome week if you’re into drinking. Either way, I thought I’d invite you all to participate in a grand Australian tradition – the Melbourne Cup Sweep.

It’ll work like this: Anyone who wants to play just posts here and I’ll randomly allocate you a horse (trust me, the hat with the little bits of paper in it is all set to go) and post its name along with all its details. If your horse wins, you win the sweep. If your horse is scratched between now and post time (about 24 hours from now), I’ll allocate you another if one’s still available. If not, you’re out of luck – that’s gambling for you.

Usually, you buy into a sweep, and the winner gets to keep the pot. That’s not going to work here, but I thought this might be an even better prize – the satisfaction of knowing that, in a completely random series of events that you had absolutely no control over, you, and you alone, emerged victorious! The glory and admiration of all who care will belong entirely to you! A prize worth winning, no?

The Melbourne Cup itself is a 3200m (about 2 mile in the old scale), weight-for-age race run at Flemington Racecourse in Melbourne (across the road from my place) on the first Tuesday in November. It's a day when the ladies frock up with hats and heels, the men follow them around drooling, and everyone pretends they care more about the racing than the grog.

There’s 24 horses up for grabs people, but I’m taking the first. Here goes:

8 XCELLENT - 4 y.o. bay gelding
Barrier - 17 Weight - 54kg
Jockey - Michael Coleman
Trainer - Mike Moroney
3200m record - No starts
Comment - Luckless last week. Classy, but unknown over this trip.
Jockey's Colours - Light & Dark Blue (L.Blue torso, D.Blue sleeves)
Currently Paying - $20.50 a win, $6.20 a place

So, if anyone wants to be an honorary Aussie for the day, let me know, crack the champers, and have a flutter.

CE

Petra

10-31-2005, 04:25 AM

Carnivale Ed

10-31-2005, 04:53 AM

Hey, I usually have a very small flutter ($10 or less) on the Melbourne Cup, so count me in. :D

Got any hot tips, Ed?

PS: XCELLENT's a Kiwi, right? Maybe I should put a dollar on him at the TAB, eh?

Ah, a drunken cousin from across the Tasman - now it feels like Cup Week!

The tip - Makybe Diva, all the way, assuming she runs. She's carrying a bit of weight, but I'm pretty sure she can make it three-in-a-row.

I think XCELLENT is a kiwi, out of EXCELO. I'm sure the TAB will take your money, no matter who you bet on, though :yup: .

But ... drumroll please ... your horse is ...

13 LACHLAN RIVER - 4 y.o. bay gelding
Barrier - 3 Weight - 51.5kg
Jockey - Glen Colless
Trainer - John Morrisey
3200m record - No starts
Comment - Caught the eye in the Mackinnon Stakes. Lightweight chance.
Jockey's Colours - Gold, Red & Blue (Gold torso, Red sleeves, 5 Blue Diamonds on the chest)
Currently Paying - $27.30 a win, $6.90 a place.

I think he's Irish, maybe his luck will rub off on you :).

22 horses left. Any more takers?

Crumb

10-31-2005, 07:41 AM

Sign me up! :gallop:

Carnivale Ed

10-31-2005, 07:56 AM

Sign me up! :gallop:
Ah, my friend from across the Pacific! You guys killed Phar Lap, you know that right :D ?

But, down to business, time is money ... the next horse with a shot at glory is:

23 MR CELEBRITY - 5 y.o. chestnut gelding
Barrier - 19 Weight - 49.5kg
Jockey - Danny Beasley
Trainer - Gai Waterhouse
3200m Record - No starts
Comment - Form solid for this. Could be a wildcard.
Jockey's Colours - Navy Blue & White (Striped sleeves, Solid Navy torso, White Horseshoe design on chest)
Currently Paying - $19.30 a win, $5.40 a place.

And, Crumb, I know you'll appreciate this, but I'd just like to remind everybody that this is an exhibition only, not a competition. Please, no wagering.

Next man (or filly) up? 21 to go...

Leesifer

10-31-2005, 10:20 AM

Me, me, me. Pick me a horse, please.

Carnivale Ed

10-31-2005, 10:53 AM

Me, me, me. Pick me a horse, please.
Why, of course, Madam. And not just any old nag for you, but:

2 VINNIE ROE - 8 y.o. bay horse.
Barrier - 24 Weight - 58kg
Jockey - Pat Smullen
Trainer - Dermot Weld
3200m Record - 2 starts, no wins, 1 placing.
Comment - Farewell run for fabulous Irish stayer. Looks well weighted.
Jockey's Colours - Blue, White & Gold (Blue Torso, White Sleeves, 7 Gold Stars arranged in a circular pattern on Chest - with one in the centre)
Currently Paying - $17.10 a win, $5.10 a place.

He's a four time Irish St Leger winner and last years runner-up, just pipped at the post by this year's favourite, Makybe Diva. She's still in the hat folks ... 20 to go.

Carnivale Ed

10-31-2005, 01:41 PM

I'm going to bed in a sec, but if anyone wants to play, just post and I'll dish out the horses first thing in the morning.

livius drusus

10-31-2005, 01:47 PM

I'm not much for gambling but I've always wanted a pony so sign me up.

Carnivale Ed

10-31-2005, 02:00 PM

I'm not much for gambling but I've always wanted a pony so sign me up.
And another lady steps into the betting ring! And what's her fancy? Why, it's:

6 EYE POPPER - 6 y.o. chestnut horse
Barrier - 9 Weight - 54kg
Jockey - Shinji Fujita
Trainer - Izumi Shimizu
3200m Record - 1 start, no wins, 1 placing
Comment - Outstanding trial in the Caufield Cup and beat Makybe Diva this trip in Japan
Jockey's Colours - Dark Green, Yellow & Red (D.Green torso and sleeves, a dash of yellow under the arms, a red St Andrew's Cross across the chest)
Currently Paying - $7.60 a win, $2.60 a place.

For a lady who wanted a pony, she's ended up with one hell of a horse - currently backed in to be fourth favourite!

livius drusus

10-31-2005, 02:02 PM

Sweeeet!
:yoke:

Crumb

10-31-2005, 05:34 PM

Sweetie

10-31-2005, 05:39 PM

Leesifer

10-31-2005, 07:21 PM

Carnivale Ed

11-01-2005, 12:39 AM

My aunt would always use me to make bets 'cause I was usually always right (in the sense of asking me who I thought would win). She worked for the racetrack so we were there alot, FYI. Doubt I have the same knack today.

Ah, no! A bookie's worst nightmare - an equine-savant. Oh well, no bets refused, this is the business I've chosen. Let's see if that luck holds:

12 DIZELLE - 4 y.o. bay mare
Barrier - 18 Weight - 51.5kg
Jockey - Darren Beadman
Trainer - John Hawkes
3200m Record - No starts
Comment - Just a run at Caufield, but Oaks win in Autumn was exceptional
Jockey's Colours - Blue & Pink (Solid Blue sleeves, Striped Blue & Pink torso)
Currently Paying - $25.50 a win, $6.80 a place

No big money for Dizelle yet, but this is Cup Day, when even the most average horse can become a legend!

Carnivale Ed

11-01-2005, 12:42 AM

You guys killed Phar Lap, you know that right :D ?
Who (or what) the hell is Phar Lap? :scratch:
And, Crumb, I know you'll appreciate this, but I'd just like to remind everybody that this is an exhibition only, not a competition. Please, no wagering.
Damn! (nice to know you noticed my sig though. :D )
23 MR CELEBRITY - 5 y.o. chestnut gelding
:cheer: Go! Mr. Celebrity, go! :cheer:
Phar Lap is the greatest racehorse in Australian history. He won everything during the Depression and, when he went to conquer the states, you guys poisoned him! Or maybe he just died. I prefer the conspiracy theory myself :D .

Just heard - a plunge of betting on Mr Celebrity - people like this horse!

Of course I noted the sig. I'm a Letterman-tragic!

Adora

11-01-2005, 01:07 AM

That's the thing with the horses and the ugly hats, right?

Carnivale Ed

11-01-2005, 01:21 AM

That's the thing with the horses and the ugly hats, right?
Sounds like somebody can't wait to pick a horse. Now, what do we have for the ascerbic young lady who makes me smile :D . Ah, yes, this should fit:

7 RAILINGS - 4 y.o. bay gelding
Barrier - 5 Weight - 54kg
Jockey - Greg Childs
Trainer - John Hawkes
3200m Record - No starts
Comment - Awesome effort at Caufield and has had an ideal preparation
Jockey's Colours - Navy Blue & White (Solid Navy with a ring of White Diamonds around the chest)
Currently Paying - unsure, websites are down, about $7.00 a win I think - one of the favourites, a real chance

And, yes, there are funny hats, but I'm a fan of the fascinator, myself.
Good Luck!

Carnivale Ed

11-01-2005, 01:31 AM

Railings is second favourite - paying $5.70 a win, $2.10 a place.

Adora

11-01-2005, 01:33 AM

Fascinators? Those things that look like someone stapled a dead bird to the side of your head?

I think I got over horse races the same time I grew out of my "ooh My Little Ponies" stage as a kid.

Carnivale Ed

11-01-2005, 01:44 AM

Fascinators? Those things that look like someone stapled a dead bird to the side of your head?
I just like saying 'fascinators'.
I think I got over horse races the same time I grew out of my "ooh My Little Ponies" stage as a kid.
Tell me you've put at least one bet on today!

Petra

11-01-2005, 03:16 AM

I'm not going to get to place a bet this year. Ran out of time and money.

I still hope I win, though! :D

Carnivale Ed

11-01-2005, 03:43 AM

It's only half an hour 'til racetime, so it's time for another great Aussie tradition - the last minute dishing out of horses that didn't get picked.

We've got seven players and 17 horses left. That means two more each and a third for the first three players except me.

Here goes :

lunachick - Makybe Diva, Greys Inn, Strasbourg
Crumb - Umbula, Demerger, Bazelle
Leesifer - Leica Falcon, Kamsky, Vouvray
liv - On a Jeune, Portland Singa
sweetie - Franklins Gardens, Distinction
Adora - Kindjhal, Rizon
CE - Envoy, Hugs Dancer

lunachick may not have got a bet on, but I'm thinking she's got this thing all sewn up!

Carnivale Ed

11-01-2005, 03:48 AM

Oooh ... possible doping scandal involving 'Eye Popper'. Had an injury this morning and may have had treatment. He'll run, but a pre-race sample is being taken...

Petra

11-01-2005, 03:53 AM

Eye Popper's on dope?! Say it ain't so!

Damn, I wish I had been able to place a bet. Just a dollar each way or something would have been fun.

livius drusus

11-01-2005, 03:54 AM

Fucking war on drugs. :shakefist:

Petra

11-01-2005, 04:00 AM

"Performing enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. Ok, we can swing with that. But performance debilitating drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the hundred meters, fair play to you. That's pretty damn good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance." ~ Eddie Izzard

Someone give that horse a Mars bar! :deadhorse2:

Carnivale Ed

11-01-2005, 04:03 AM

Andddddddd ...... they're off!

Carnivale Ed

11-01-2005, 04:07 AM

MAKYBE DIVA! Three in a row!

Petra

11-01-2005, 04:10 AM

Bugga. Couldn't find the right channel in time. Missed the race, but caught the after race commentary saying "greatest win in the history of the universe" and stuff like that.

What happened?

Carnivale Ed

11-01-2005, 04:10 AM

Interim Results

1 - Makybe Diva
2 - On a Jeune
3 - Xcellent

lunachick wins!

Carnivale Ed

11-01-2005, 04:12 AM

Bugga. Couldn't find the right channel in time. Missed the race, but caught the after race commentary saying "greatest win in the history of the universe" and stuff like that.

What happened?

Out of the pack at the turn and just blasted away in the last couple of hundred.

The greatest stuff is all about the three in a row - never been done before.

Petra

11-01-2005, 04:13 AM

Yay!!! :cheer:

Damn. Wish I had placed a bet now, fo'sure.

Carnivale Ed

11-01-2005, 04:17 AM

Yay!!! :cheer:

Damn. Wish I had placed a bet now, fo'sure.
Not sure how much you would have won - she was that heavily backed. Waiting for the dividends now...

Petra

11-01-2005, 04:23 AM

Yay!!! :cheer:

Damn. Wish I had placed a bet now, fo'sure.
Not sure how much you would have won - she was that heavily backed. Waiting for the dividends now...

Hey, if I put down $2 and get back $4, I'm still ahead. It's all good.

:cincin:

Carnivale Ed

11-01-2005, 04:53 AM

Sorry about that - half of everyone I went to High School with just showed up on my doorstep. They're off now to watch my sister's boyfriend jump in the Maribyrnong River - off a 20 ft bridge. Fun and games :D .

Here's the final dividends:
Makybe Diva $3.60/$2.00
On a Jeune - $14.60
Xcellent - $5.80

I wish I'd had some money on On a Jeune for a place! That's some good value.

But, you're quite right, lunachick - you would have tripled your money. Not a bad day's betting.

Cheers, indeed, lunachick!

Let's all go have a drink!

Adora

11-01-2005, 05:34 AM

Tell me you've put at least one bet on today!
That would be lying.

Carnivale Ed

11-01-2005, 09:57 AM

That would be lying.
Dare I say it? That's un-Australian!

Crumb

11-01-2005, 05:40 PM

Of course I noted the sig. I'm a Letterman-tragic!
That must be because you have good taste. (That is if "Letterman-tragic" means what I think it means.)

livius drusus

11-01-2005, 05:50 PM

Eye Popper was robbed. :grumpy:

Adora

11-01-2005, 10:20 PM

That would be lying.
Dare I say it? That's un-Australian!
Good.

Carnivale Ed

11-02-2005, 02:11 AM

Eye Popper was robbed. :grumpy:
Actually, he might well have been. There's a bit of a storm brewing because Victoria Racing agreed to water the track, which was an advantage for The Diva (as we're all now calling her). Gai Waterhouse, well known Aussie trainer, and the connections of Eye Popper prepared their horses on the assumption that the track would be dry and they're crying foul.

Petra

11-02-2005, 03:40 AM

Awh! Does this mean I've gotta give my money back? :kickscan:

Carnivale Ed

11-02-2005, 04:12 AM

Awh! Does this mean I've gotta give my money back? :kickscan:
No. In the grand tradition of horse racing and professional boxing, even if the fix was in, absolutely nothing will come of this protest. The loot's all yours. Go buy yourself a pretty picture :D .