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LianaLi
09-19-2004, 07:25 AM
I always hated Hamlet. And my lack of patience with dating didn't help. Hats off to the Bard for giving me most of the structure of this.

To call or not to call, that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous dating.
Or to take arms against a sea of men,
And by each opposing, so choose one: To date, to sleep,
With just one, and by a sleep to say we mate.
And so end the chase and the thousand natural passes
Men are bound to make. Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To date, to sleep,
To sleep, perchance to love, aye there's the rub.
For in that little death, what dreams may come?
When we have shuffled off this ritual of courtship,
Nudity must give us pause; there's the respect
That rewards the diligence of so long a wait.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of lover's past,
The cheater's wrong, the blind dates forfeit,
The pangs of despie'd love, the law's delay,
The insolence of others, and the spurns,
Of calls unreturned, that three day wait,
When he himself might his advance make,
With a single date. Who would dare to hesitate,
To grunt and sweat under a dreary night,
But that draw of something after cocktails,
The lavicious country from whose bossom
No man leaves free of lust- puzzles us all-
And makes us rather bear those ills we chase,
Than fly to others that we only dream of?
Thus love does make fools of us all.
And thus the natrual course of emotion
Is sickled o'er with the pale cast of thought.
And enterprizes of great seduction and love,
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.

Ymir's blood
09-20-2004, 04:54 AM
Hmm, not bad. but...

I always hated Hamlet.

:eek:

Why?!

Hats off to the Bard for giving me most of the structure of this.

I've always enjoyed twisting songs into new forms. Had a lot of fun with that at IIDB and the old IPU EZBoard forum.

livius drusus
09-20-2004, 05:13 PM
This was the product of a collaboration with another girl in my senior English class in high school. We did a 2 month textual study of King Lear and ending up knowing it so well that we set it to music.

Sung to the tune of Gilbert O'Sullivan's Alone Again, Naturally, I present to you

Alone Again, Unnaturally: King Lear's Song

I don't know what to do
Now I've split my crown in two
What a big mistake that I did make
Does anyone have any Krazy Glue?
And Gloucester is bereft
Of his eyes there's nothing left
His son said jump but he just went thump cause he only jumped three inches
That was pretty dumb
But I must admit I'm dumber
I sent my loving child away
Oh wast that not a bummer?
Tis all so very sad
Oh fool I shall go mad!

Alone again, unnaturally.

There is nowhere I can go
After all I'm just an "o"
I broke nature's ties cause I had no eyes
Well how was I to know
That things would not be great
Oh my woe repents too late
Everything is wrong now that nature's gone and this wheel here makes me dizzy
I can't even love
Now so do thy worst blind Cupid
I've got this Fool who's really cool
But those two dukes are stupid
And Regan is a pain
Now I'm out here in the rain!

Alone again, unnaturally

I'd like to read my mail
But I can't unless it's braille
So to pass the while I had a trial and sent a stool to jail
And then I saw this thing
It was a thing itself
But by now my pomp was so high on physic that I nearly did a striptease
Is this really Lear?
Where are his eyes?
Where are his senses?
I wish I could go home again and get my contact lenses.
Because I'm going blind
And I think I've lost my mind!

Alone again, unnaturally.

It seems that more of nature's ties are broken every day
The bonds from heaven
Not oh-oh-seven
Is that a tree in front of me?

<musical interlude>

When will this song come to an end?
Never never never never never.

My vision now has cleared
My daughters all have died
I would jump off a cliff but someone else already tried
The foul fiend has flown
But still I'm all alone
Gonerill's a pill now I'm feeling ill should have named her Gonorrhea
I'm bound upon this wheel
And the fire grows ever hotter
Yo Gloucester tell them gods up there
To put down that fly swatter
And now it's always day
Cause they took my knights away!

Alone again, unnaturally.
Alone again, unnaturally.

LianaLi
09-23-2004, 04:07 PM
Hmm, not bad. but...

I always hated Hamlet.

:eek:

Why?!


Cause he seemed like such a twit, all angry and obsessed with his father's death. Yeah, so his mom was sleeping with his uncle. A good reason to get upset and kill him. But did he have to hurt Ophelia as well? That really was the stickler for me, even though I much enjoyed her psychotic character after Hamlet threw her aside.

Actually, I'm this way with all his tragedies. Don't like them. Do love all the comedies. Twelfth Night's my favorite.


Note to self... must read Liv's parodies when I get back. If I wait for them to print, I'll miss all my classes....


-Liana

D. Scarlatti
09-23-2004, 06:31 PM
lol@livius

lpetrich
09-25-2004, 07:07 PM
That's a great parody, LianaLi. I've never been very successful at dating, so I can identify with that.