View Full Version : Surely attraction has to be two way
My friends keep pointing out girls to me. I keep pointing out girls to them saying that I think they're fit. It's like " I saw a girl the other day and thought of you", "Trying to get you some action"
It's all well and good seeing attractive girls but it's so totally pointless if they don't see you the same way. We could spot gorgeous girls till the cows come home but if they aren't pointing at me then it's a wasted excercise except in terms of aesthetic appreciation.
I know a couple of good-looking girls, I should ask them why I'm so undesirable.
I mean there is no interest there at all. Blank. Nada, Zip.etc.
What can you do? It's the hand that the powers that aren't have dealt me?
Anyone else in this situation?
Suds, the eternal virgin.
Dragar
11-12-2005, 12:47 PM
You can either lower your standards, or find some way to compensate for your looks (if they really are that bad, which may well be not true at all).
Hell, what am I doing, giving advise on this topic? I have no clue man.
Adora
11-12-2005, 12:53 PM
Um, maybe because pointing-and-looking isn't going to get you laid, duh.
Carnivale Ed
11-13-2005, 04:26 AM
I'm confused. Are you actually going up to these girls you like the look of and getting shot down, or are you just not going up to them because you don't think they'll like you?
Johnny Pneumatic
11-14-2005, 12:51 AM
My friends keep pointing out girls to me. I keep pointing out girls to them saying that I think they're fit. It's like " I saw a girl the other day and thought of you", "Trying to get you some action"
It's all well and good seeing attractive girls but it's so totally pointless if they don't see you the same way. We could spot gorgeous girls till the cows come home but if they aren't pointing at me then it's a wasted excercise except in terms of aesthetic appreciation.
I know a couple of good-looking girls, I should ask them why I'm so undesirable.
I mean there is no interest there at all. Blank. Nada, Zip.etc.
What can you do? It's the hand that the powers that aren't have dealt me?
Anyone else in this situation?
Suds, the eternal virgin.
Well, maybe show us what you look like?
If you're obese, that could be part of it.
If you're paler than an albino, that could be part of it.
If your skin looks like the surface of the moon, from acne damage that happened ten years ago, that could be part of it.
Hell yes! :( Megadeath to virginity!
I was thinking along the same lines as both Adora and Ed here.
How would you feel being pointed at and how do you know what they think if you don't even approach them?
Veritas
11-14-2005, 12:57 AM
The OP reminds me of someone...
The OP reminds me of someone...
Strange you said that, I had to check
Veritas
11-14-2005, 01:14 AM
Except for the fact I'm straight, yes...it could be me.
The solution, quite clearly, is to become a nocturnal hermit. Works for me.
MooseIBe
11-15-2005, 02:04 PM
Heya Suds, what do you think the problem is? Do you have a problem striking up conversations, are you shy? I dunno what you look like but I do know that looks aren't the be all and end all to most women :).
Obviously I don't go up to women and point and gawk like some slack jawed imbecile. :lecher: Just the usual "She looks 'nice'" kind of thing when sat with my friends.
I'm not going up to women because I don't think they fancy me.'What would be the point?', is my thinking. If there is no interest from them then why open myself to rejection.I've only asked one girl out, she said no. That was 14 years ago.
Also I'd be terrified. I know the old "so what if she says no, just dust yourself down and move on" stuff. I've heard it all before. Acting on it is the hard thing.
What do you do so you don't come across like a dick? A glance, a smile, what.
There's a cute girl at work, I pass her sometimes, she works with a friend of mine in another dept. I've done the glance and smile thing. Does she reciprocate? I don't know, I can't spot the signals, no experience. Should I ask my friend for info on her? Is that a bit stalkerish? I could at least find out if she's single and her age, though that shouldn't matter.
Should I post a pic of myself for your judgement? How would I do it?
I hope this isn't too similar to Skeptic J's 'dammit all' thread.
Adora
11-19-2005, 11:49 AM
I'm not going up to women because I don't think they fancy me.'What would be the point?', is my thinking. If there is no interest from them then why open myself to rejection.I've only asked one girl out, she said no. That was 14 years ago.
Pussy. Grow some balls.
What do you do so you don't come across like a dick? A glance, a smile, what. There's a cute girl at work, I pass her sometimes, she works with a friend of mine in another dept. I've done the glance and smile thing. Does she reciprocate? I don't know, I can't spot the signals, no experience. Should I ask my friend for info on her? Is that a bit stalkerish? I could at least find out if she's single and her age, though that shouldn't matter.
Maybe you could, oh, I dunno, talk to her, like a normal human being? Is that so hard?
Dragar
11-19-2005, 01:01 PM
Doesn't it come across as...well, a little rude if you suddenly strike up a conversation with a complete stranger, or just someone you've seen around?
I've tried striking up conversations with people I don't know before, and often they have seemed embarrassed and uncomfortable.
Carnivale Ed
11-19-2005, 03:38 PM
I'm not going up to women because I don't think they fancy me.'What would be the point?', is my thinking. If there is no interest from them then why open myself to rejection.
You've gotta give someone a chance to get to know you before they can accept or reject you. What would be the point, you ask? Maybe they'll like you and decide it'd be fun to play with your ding dong. Why so negative, though? Why are you convinced, ahead of time, that you're unlikeable?
It's a generalisation, but girls are far more often the pursued than the pursuer. They very rarely hold up a sign that says, "Come talk to me!" Most of the time, if they're on the lookout, they're just waiting for you to go up to them. It's daunting, I know, but it's just part of being a man. Deal with it.
I've only asked one girl out, she said no. That was 14 years ago.
What the hell did she do to scar you for 14 years? Unless it involved your genitals and a fairly sharp razor blade, this is just sad, dude.
Also I'd be terrified. I know the old "so what if she says no, just dust yourself down and move on" stuff. I've heard it all before. Acting on it is the hard thing.
Here's another platitude: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And another (sort of): Get confident, stupid! Why are you so terrified? The only thing I can think of is that you've built this up in your mind to be some big deal that it's really not. Everyone I know has been shot down way more times than they've scored (girls included). The worst that can happen is that you'll look stupid in front of a woman that doesn't know you and who you'll probably never see again. You'll learn heaps more about how to talk to women by doing this, anyway, than you ever will on an internet forum. Suck it up and start rolling the dice. Immediately. You've got 14 years to make up for.
What do you do so you don't come across like a dick? A glance, a smile, what.
Completely depends on the situation. The last girl I slept with actually jumped in my lap because I was being a dick. I wasn't even looking to pick up, I was just telling funny stories in the pub. Every situation (and every girl) is different and you have to learn to read it (and them).
There's a cute girl at work, I pass her sometimes, she works with a friend of mine in another dept. I've done the glance and smile thing. Does she reciprocate? I don't know, I can't spot the signals, no experience. Should I ask my friend for info on her? Is that a bit stalkerish? I could at least find out if she's single and her age, though that shouldn't matter.
Casually asking a mate about a co-worker is not stalking. The workplace romance is tricky, though, because, if it doesn't work out, there she is. Every. Single. Day. If your company has work functions or Friday night drinks, though, that might be the place to get to know her better. At least then you'll know if it's worth taking the risk.
Should I post a pic of myself for your judgement?
Only if you think there's something wrong with you. If you think you're just average, don't bother, it shouldn't matter.
Citizen of Earth
11-27-2005, 11:18 PM
My friends keep pointing out girls to me. I keep pointing out girls to them saying that I think they're fit. It's like " I saw a girl the other day and thought of you", "Trying to get you some action"
It's all well and good seeing attractive girls but it's so totally pointless if they don't see you the same way. We could spot gorgeous girls till the cows come home but if they aren't pointing at me then it's a wasted excercise except in terms of aesthetic appreciation.
I know a couple of good-looking girls, I should ask them why I'm so undesirable.
I mean there is no interest there at all. Blank. Nada, Zip.etc.
What can you do? It's the hand that the powers that aren't have dealt me?
Anyone else in this situation?
Suds, the eternal virgin.
I know what you're describing. Being an introvert, I've always needed positive cues before taking the next step.
Next time you go out, just scan around looking for ones you find attractive, find one who locks her eyes with yours, even if this is for a second. If she looks away and then looks back at you, that's the time to show a nice friendly smile, and then, if she's worth anything, she will smile back at you. Now this is the right time to walk up to her and say something witty.
Dragar
11-28-2005, 12:51 AM
/me writes down those wonderful two words, they secret code to the land of dating...
"Something...witty..."
Sweetie
11-28-2005, 12:55 AM
* Dragar writes down those wonderful two words, they secret code to the land of dating...
"Something...witty..."
:D
Hey, have you considered travelling? Somewhere else they may think you have the sexiest accent possible, and all the girls would just fall under the spell. Then they wouldn't care what you were saying, just how you were saying it. :D
:wink:
SharonDee
11-28-2005, 01:01 AM
Then they wouldn't care what you were saying, just how you were saying it.For sure! With that accent all you have to do is say my name and ... swoon! :vapours:
Dragar
11-28-2005, 07:48 PM
Travelling isn't really an option right now, and considering I have trouble enough meeting women who speak the same language as me, I can't imagine things would get any easier if they couldn't understand one word in ten.
Hey...wait a minute...are you suggesting I'd be more attractive if you couldn't tell what I was saying? :sniffle:
Sweetie
11-29-2005, 01:06 AM
Hey...wait a minute...are you suggesting I'd be more attractive if you couldn't tell what I was saying? :sniffle:
:D
You were implying that you don't have the hang of the whole "be witty" thing that girls tend to go for, so I suggested then that if that was the trouble, skip the be witty and just go for girls who will go for your accent. Maybe hang around tourist attractions. It could work, no? :suave:
:pat:
Citizen of Earth
11-29-2005, 01:16 AM
Next time you're at a bar, just drink a whole lot (to lower your nerves and inhibitions), then go up to the counter, then look at the female next to you. If she's attractive, play dumb and ask what it is she's drinking. That somehow always works to strike up the conversation. The prior drinking has the effect of lowering your nerves, if you have any.
Either that or you could just walk up to random women and say, "Wanna fuck?" (Though I'd advise you wear a face mask and a groin cup.)
Both of these fine approaches will pay off eventually and achieve your goal. More so if you're at a house party, of course.
Sweetie
11-29-2005, 01:23 AM
Wish I was there to help you if I could, Dragar. :deepsigh:
Sweetie
11-29-2005, 01:26 AM
I feel pretty confident in my abilities to get you some. :superfly:
:D
Citizen of Earth
11-29-2005, 01:27 AM
I feel pretty confident in my abilities to get you some. :superfly:
:D
Hey, my friend needs a wing-woman, too! :yup:
Sweetie
11-29-2005, 01:30 AM
Hey, my friend needs a wing-woman, too! :yup:
:ww:
:thumbup:
Crikey Adora's harsh but it was true I guess. God I'm such a pussy. I was well pissed off but knew it was true.
I mentioned in Skeptic J's thread that I did ask a girl out this year. She said no but I did it. Was it bad that I asked by text? We only communicated by text and e-mail. It's the same as internet dating isn't it and I did actually talk to her at the wedding I met her at.
I think I'll e-mail about that other girl when I'm back in work.
Carnivale Ed
12-03-2005, 01:56 PM
Internet dating is one thing, people know how it works going in. But you met a real, live, human female in the flesh and you turned it into a cyber-relationship. What possessed you? Emails and texting are useful tools for a relationship, not the basis for one.
Who are you planning on emailing about this girl at work? You work with her, just make an excuse to bump into her and start a conversation. Enough with the computer!
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