Why do all these women want to have sex with me??

[MooseIBe]

Never thought i was particularly hot, to be honest, but all these women keep instant messaging me out of the blue and offering me sex! Not to mention asking me to give my opinion on their bikini pictures.

Gee, I must be more desirable that I thought.

[Veritas]

My heart bleeds.

[livius drusus]

Make sure you click on every pop-up you get, Moose, or else who knows what you'll be missing out on?

[MooseIBe]

It's tragic, innit? Some of them even wanted my credit card details ya know.

[Petra]

Hmmm, I get people letting me know how cheap viagra is and asking me if I'd like a bigger cock.


Weirdos.

[MooseIBe]

WOULD you like a bigger cock??

[LadyShea]

Yes, my penis seems to be a big topic on various email inquiries. It's quite large enough thank you.

[MooseIBe]

Mine isn't.. more email offers, people!

I'll take yours if you don't want them, LS..

[wei yau]

Apparently my debt is too large and my penis is too small.

[LadyShea]

Apparently my debt is too large and my penis is too small.

And you are no doubt paying too much interest on your mortgage.

[wei yau]

Apparently my debt is too large and my penis is too small.

And you are no doubt paying too much interest on your mortgage.

But, of course!

I've also reached the age where I'd rather pay less interest on my mortgage and reduce my debt than have a bigger cock.

[Veritas]

I have syphilis.

[Leesifer]

Hey laydies (except scarletpeaches - I don't want syphilis):

:bedtime:

[Legs]

My emails keep telling me I need H0OD1A :chin:

[Veritas]

I also have arse-rot.

[Leesifer]

Oh, in that case :kissass:

[MsTirius]

I always thought I had enough, but my emails tell me I need more porn.

[Veritas]

And leprosy.

[Leesifer]

I know you're really asking me to :glare: at you but I won't.

[Veritas]

:(

[JoeP]

Don't worry scarletpeaches :pat:

http://images5.theimagehosting.com/glare-large2.gif

Speaking of which, have people been disturbing you recently?

[Leesifer]

Oh alright, just this once

:glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare:

Now go and see somebody about all those hideous diseases you have. I expect you'll need some antibiotics or booze.

[Veritas]

I feel better already and no, funnily enough, they don't. I'll post a photo promise...the tenement light isn't working so I'll have to wait for daylight to post a photo of my nameplate on my front door. :giggle:

[Miisa]

How do they know about my desperate need for more viagra? They also think I would look good 20 years younger. Perverts.

[Shake]

I'm constantly getting ones promising to lower my mortgage payment. This, of course, is impossible, since I rent.