Black eye?!?!? HELP!

[Lauri D]

I've got a serious shiner going on with (my right, your left) eye. Long and stupid story but suffice it to say that no interpersonal violence contributed to this injury, although that fact does not make it any less embarassing to be out in public looking like somebody just kicked my ass for not having dinner on the table or something ;)

The question is, WTF am I supposed to do with (to) it? Ice? It's swelling up pretty bad and if there is anything I can do to minimize it I'd like to.

[Petra]

Ummm...a raw piece of steak across it? I'm sure that's what they used to do it the funny movies.

Other than that, I guess anything that's good for bruising - arnica, perhaps?

How did you do it, anyway? My sister once gave herself a black eye in the middle of the night, just by closing a window while half asleep. She then promptly fell over and fractured her ankle. So, for heaven's sake, take care out there!

Bummer about the eye, and you have my sympathies, but as a fan of slapstick humour, I'm always disappointed that I don't see these things happen when they do. I'd probably wet myself laughing. :D

[Lauri D]

Ummm...a raw piece of steak across it? I'm sure that's what they used to do it the funny movies.

Other than that, I guess anything that's good for bruising - arnica, perhaps?

How did you do it, anyway? My sister once gave herself a black eye in the middle of the night, just by closing a window while half asleep. She then promptly fell over and fractured her ankle. So, for heaven's sake, take care out there!

Bummer about the eye, and you have my sympathies, but as a fan of slapstick humour, I'm always disappointed that I don't see these things happen when they do. I'd probably wet myself laughing. :D
:rofl: at the steak - why didn't I think of that? I wonder if the salmon in the freezer will work...

In short, my face became acquainted with the edge of the stone hearth on the fireplace, on account of my beloved beast (the dog, that is ;) ) being more "underfoot" than usual. I wish it was a more exciting story...

[Petra]

:rofl: at the steak - why didn't I think of that? I wonder if the salmon in the freezer will work...Now that I think about it, I think you need steak, not Salmon. The Salmon is to be used only for cooking me dinner. :D

I think the steak has enzymes that help with the swelling and bruising, but I'm rather hazy on that snippet of information.

I'm 100% certain about the correct use for Salmon, though.

In short, my face became acquainted with the edge of the stone hearth on the fireplace, on account of my beloved beast (the dog, that is ;) ) being more "underfoot" than usual. I wish it was a more exciting story...

Still wish I'd seen it. In slow mo, while hitting on a big ol' bong. :D

[Petra]

Here ya go, Bella:

http://www.emedicinehealth.com/articles/13725-6.asp

It says do not use steak, or salmon - ice is the one. :)

[LadyXoc]

I heard somewhere that Dermablend concealer is good for covering it. But I've never tried that brand, so I can't say for sure. I know Ben Nye cover up is pretty effective. I'd try Ibuprofen, too, isn't it supposed to help with swelling?

[lisarea]

DANG IT. Were you up too late, lady?

I don't know what to do to fix it, but it looks like you've got that covered.

But it is NOT FAIR that women have to look like domestic violence victims when they get black eyes, and men just get to look like drunken tough guys. I wish you could swagger around and intimidate people with it like when Ed Norton is walking around the office in Fight Club.

[LadyShea]

Oh hell have fun with it. I would make up some heroic cool story about it...that you fouhgt some old lady's purse snatcher or a kidnapper or some shit ;)

Dermablend is really expensive, but it does cover anything!

But it is NOT FAIR that women have to look like domestic violence victims when they get black eyes

Not just black eyes either. Any kind of severe bruises will get you sympathetic looks....I once had someone slip me a domestic violence hotline number after a "big dog trip" incident, and was asked if "everything is okay at home" during one IVF cycle (regular blood draws and IVs done by frazzled techs).

Can't wait until this cycle, I will be on a blood thinner, Heparin, and assume I will simply become one large ugly bruise during that.

[Socratoad]

From personal experience, I highly recommend the raw steak treatment for within a few days all bruising will disappear.

On the other hand you may choice to do nothing and within a few days all bruising will disappear.

Be careful if you choose the steak treatment for the dog may try to get it and you may trip again.

[viscousmemories]

That sucks, Lauri. I'm sorry. :hug:

And no food for a week for Dempsey. He's gotta learn.

[pescifish]

And no food for a week for Dempsey. He's gotta learn.Don't do that; you might look awfully tasty by week's end. We don't need any "Right calf mostly gone! HELP!" threads!

I once gave myself a bad bruise on my cheek from actually running (well, walking) into a door. There was just no way anyone was gonna believe that. I heard a lot of "You should dump the bastard." Dog and horse have also done facial damage in the past. The smartass horse meant it, too, the lil' bitch.

Nothing I did seem to quicken the pace for healing, though. I hope this clears up quickly for you. And that it didn't hurt badly, either!

[JoeP]

But it is NOT FAIR that women have to look like domestic violence victims when they get black eyes, and men just get to look like drunken tough guys. I wish you could swagger around and intimidate people with it like when Ed Norton is walking around the office in Fight Club.
This is a good point.

Maybe you should adopt a garb of men's boots, black leather trousers, belt with serious heavy studs, and a black tank top (whatevertf they're called) with a heavy metal band logo. And don't smile. Be the drunken tough girl (rock chick or gay, whatever you fancy).

[viscousmemories]

Maybe you should adopt a garb of men's boots, black leather trousers, belt with serious heavy studs, and a black tank top (whatevertf they're called) with a heavy metal band logo. And don't smile. Be the drunken tough girl (rock chick or gay, whatever you fancy).
Wait, you mean she should dress like it's Saturday night all the time?

[wildernesse]

In short, my face became acquainted with the edge of the stone hearth on the fireplace, on account of my beloved beast (the dog, that is ;) ) being more "underfoot" than usual. I wish it was a more exciting story...

OW.

I hope you feel better soon. And that you don't get too many "poor you" chats.:fight:


(The last time I had a black eye I accidently stepped on the rocker of one of the porch rockers I was walking behind--kapow! At the time, I was just tall enough to be at eye level with the top corner of the chair.)

[Clutch Munny]

(The last time I had a black eye I accidently stepped on the rocker of one of the porch rockers I was walking behind--kapow! At the time, I was just tall enough to be at eye level with the top corner of the chair.)


Beautiful! Sideshow Bob would be jealous...

[Lauri D]

HOLY GAUCAMOLE!!!

Wow... just wow. Imagine the colour of a very dark eggplant - from the lash line almost all the way up to the eyebrow. Can't really see the eyeball at all. There's no bruising underneath the eye, which I think is because the part of my face that banged the hearth was actually above my eyebrow - what would that be called? The browbone?

Thanks for the sympathies (and laffs :) ). I hope that at least the swelling improves by tomorrow - I have some dermablend-type makeup so that part I'm not too concerned with.

Although I am definitely considering the idea of making up a cool story about it. Hehe.

[JoeP]

Post proof :)
I've not only seen that kind of bruising, above the eye only, I've experienced it, with stitches. I fainted on a London Underground train (no idea why other than heat; the doctors were concerned about epilepsy but no sign of that before or since), and since I was leaning against the sliding doors, I fell straight out onto the platform. Regained consciousness after a minute (a few seconds, probably) wondering why I was lying face down and what the sticky stuff was. Left the station in a stretcher, with blankets over me and my briefcase on top, got stitches and afair went into work. The bruise was black and blue and green and yellow for weeks.

[Lauri D]

Heh... I'd love to, actually, but my USB cord is at work (where I usually download my pics). Lemme see if I can find another one around here though... it's a real beaut, I tell ya! :doh:

[viscousmemories]

Post proof :)
I've not only seen that kind of bruising, above the eye only, I've experienced it, with stitches. I fainted on a London Underground train (no idea why other than heat; the doctors were concerned about epilepsy but no sign of that before or since), and since I was leaning against the sliding doors, I fell straight out onto the platform. Regained consciousness after a minute (a few seconds, probably) wondering why I was lying face down and what the sticky stuff was. Left the station in a stretcher, with blankets over me and my briefcase on top, got stitches and afair went into work. The bruise was black and blue and green and yellow for weeks.
Yes but for god's sake man, what was the sticky stuff?!

[Lauri D]

LOL... ok I am the biggest dork ever. I just took 2 good pics of it, but can't find a USB cord so I will have to post 'em tomorrow.

[JoeP]

Post proof :)
I've not only seen that kind of bruising, above the eye only, I've experienced it, with stitches. I fainted on a London Underground train (no idea why other than heat; the doctors were concerned about epilepsy but no sign of that before or since), and since I was leaning against the sliding doors, I fell straight out onto the platform. Regained consciousness after a minute (a few seconds, probably) wondering why I was lying face down and what the sticky stuff was. Left the station in a stretcher, with blankets over me and my briefcase on top, got stitches and afair went into work. The bruise was black and blue and green and yellow for weeks.
Yes but for god's sake man, what was the sticky stuff?!
Well, what do you know ... no appropriate smilie!

[Lauri D]

Ok, this is getting funnier by the hour.

Scratch what I said about no bruising beneath the eye - dudes, I am psychedelic! I now have a full arc (like half-moon crescent) beneath the eye that is just the most bee-YOO-tee-ful shade of... aquamarine.

Or seafoam green? Teal?

Whatever it is, it's damn funny looking. Although the colours are quite complimentary together, if I do say so myself. I fear the coming yellow and green, though. Ick.

[Socratoad]

Shhhhhhh, quit your unseemly bragging. Now every woman will want one. You may have started a new fashion craze.

I wonder if black/purple/teal green eyes could be colour co-ordinated to go with party or club wear.

Soon plastic surgeons will open offices across the land advertising Lauri eye operations for the discriminating woman

[Lauri D]

Shhhhhhh, quit your unseemly bragging. Now every woman will want one. You may have started a new fashion craze.

I wonder if black/purple/teal green eyes could be colour co-ordinated to go with party or club wear.

Soon plastic surgeons will open offices across the land advertising Lauri eye operations for the discriminating woman LOL... I will have to choose my clothes for work tomorrow with that in mind... I'm betting I can find something that will coordinate!

I better get to bed, so that least ONE of my eyes isn't puffy in the morning. 'Night Terry ~ :kiss:

[Socratoad]

G'night Lauri, and g'night Mrs Calabash wherever you are.

[Scotty]

leeches.

-Scott

[Socratoad]

Yeah leeches actually do work and work well. Too bad most of western society would literally climb up the wall if you approached them bearing a small leech cage to cover the eye area, or most if not all other areas.

[JoeP]

Ok, this is getting funnier by the hour.

Scratch what I said about no bruising beneath the eye - dudes, I am psychedelic! I now have a full arc (like half-moon crescent) beneath the eye that is just the most bee-YOO-tee-ful shade of... aquamarine.

Or seafoam green? Teal?

Whatever it is, it's damn funny looking. Although the colours are quite complimentary together, if I do say so myself. I fear the coming yellow and green, though. Ick.
Post proof!
:clap:
Post proof!
:clap:
Post proof!
:clap:

Seriously, it wouldn't hurt to post a photo among friends, would it?

[JoeP]

leeches.

-Scott
Lauri, if you can't hide the bruising, you should go out with a leech attached to your eyebrow. Perhaps with a studded collar. That will divert everyone's thoughts away from poor-abuse-victim (but possibly divert everyone away from you :( )

[viscousmemories]

Post proof!
:clap:
Post proof!
:clap:
Post proof!
:clap:

Seriously, it wouldn't hurt to post a photo among friends, would it?
Okay now you're starting to scare me a little. What is it exactly about the battered look that does it for ya? :P

[Lauri D]

LOL, vm!

OK I am at work temporarily but totally taking my USB cord home so I can act like a ten year old boy showing off my injuries :D

Unfortunately the lovely teal color is long gone, having been replaced by more eggplant hues.

[Scotty]

What a good idea.

A guard leech, studded coller, a leash (a leech leash), and just watch everybody shy away. The perfect protection when away from home, "Sickem boy!"

Brings whole new meaning to the words.

Easy to feed too, nothing to buy.

-Scott

[beyelzu]

LOL, vm!

OK I am at work temporarily but totally taking my USB cord home so I can act like a ten year old boy showing off my injuries :D

Unfortunately the lovely teal color is long gone, having been replaced by more eggplant hues.
so we are going to just have to take your word that the teal color ever existed at all?




ok, I can deal with that.


but the teal color was the one I wanted to see.

I have had a greenish bruise once but like a dark ugly green.

[Lauri D]

Well, I just cropped the pic I took today (took me forever to figure out how to use the photo editor on the new computer) which I shall now post :D The teal color in the photos from yesterday, I will go back and do next.

[beyelzu]

Well, I just cropped the pic I took today (took me forever to figure out how to use the photo editor on the new computer) which I shall now post :D The teal color in the photos from yesterday, I will go back and do next.
damn that is a quality bruise, you got there.


are you sure you werent abused?

here take this pamphlet and map to a woman's shelter.


I know not funny but I couldnt resist.

[Lauri D]

OK, here's the one from yesterday - the teal color was just creeping in on the bottom. Note, swelling was much worse but the color wasn't as bad as today. Ah well.

Gawd I feel like such a freak.

[Scotty]

Quick, somebody make that your avatar before she takes it down!

-Scott

[Lauri D]

Well, I just cropped the pic I took today (took me forever to figure out how to use the photo editor on the new computer) which I shall now post :D The teal color in the photos from yesterday, I will go back and do next.
damn that is a quality bruise, you got there.


are you sure you werent abused?

here take this pamphlet and map to a woman's shelter.


I know not funny but I couldnt resist.
Hehe. I'm telling ya, I could just *see* it going through the minds of people I passed when I venture out this morning.

[Lauri D]

Quick, somebody make that your avatar before she takes it down!

-Scott
:eek: :doh: I forgot the group I was dealin' with here ;)

[beyelzu]

Well, I just cropped the pic I took today (took me forever to figure out how to use the photo editor on the new computer) which I shall now post :D The teal color in the photos from yesterday, I will go back and do next.
damn that is a quality bruise, you got there.


are you sure you werent abused?

here take this pamphlet and map to a woman's shelter.


I know not funny but I couldnt resist.
Hehe. I'm telling ya, I could just *see* it going through the minds of people I passed when I venture out this morning.
you should tell them that militant fundies beat you after you made them look stupid at ii or here but the fundies dont come here.


seriously,

I dont know, if we should be happy that domestic violence is looked down upon and people are concerned

or irritated by the general acceptance of the pint of view that holds women as vicitims.


but I am definitely glad that I am a man, as other's have mentioned, even if I get a black eye doing something stupid, I get big :highfive:

[beyelzu]

Quick, somebody make that your avatar before she takes it down!

-Scott
:eek: :doh: I forgot the group I was dealin' with here ;)

be glad that I already have an avatar that I am fond of because otherwise I might just take scotty's suggestion.

[lisarea]

Is anyone else kind of disturbed at how much that second shot looks like the sort of look you see replicated with makeup?

I've always kind of wondered what things like blue and purple eyeshadow colors are supposed to be replicating--I mean other makeup at least tends to mimic things found in nature, like rosy cheeks and red lips and whatnot.

OTOH, you do look kind of hot like that.

Hmmmm...

[Lauri D]

Is anyone else kind of disturbed at how much that second shot looks like the sort of look you see replicated with makeup?

I've always kind of wondered what things like blue and purple eyeshadow colors are supposed to be replicating--I mean other makeup at least tends to mimic things found in nature, like rosy cheeks and red lips and whatnot.

OTOH, you do look kind of hot like that.

Hmmmm...
I was totally thinking the same thing (that I've seen similar effects done with makeup on PURPOSE, like the weird shit they do in runway shows and stuff sometimes. 'Tis rather odd, indeed...

Ooh! I could do my other eye the same way and try and pass it off... "I meant to do that! Haven't you seen Vogue? Harumph..."

[beyelzu]

Is anyone else kind of disturbed at how much that second shot looks like the sort of look you see replicated with makeup?

I've always kind of wondered what things like blue and purple eyeshadow colors are supposed to be replicating--I mean other makeup at least tends to mimic things found in nature, like rosy cheeks and red lips and whatnot.

OTOH, you do look kind of hot like that.

Hmmmm...
great, now I have to feel guilty every time I am attracted to a hot goth chick with purple eyeliner.


I needed another neurosis, my old ones were boring me.

but it does make one wonder.

[viscousmemories]

Nice pics Lauri, thanks for sharing your pain with us. :)

[JoeP]

Post proof!
:clap:
Post proof!
:clap:
Post proof!
:clap:

Seriously, it wouldn't hurt to post a photo among friends, would it?
Okay now you're starting to scare me a little. What is it exactly about the battered look that does it for ya? :P
I was afraid we'd miss the entire thing. See, already we missed most of the teal colour.

But now that you mention it ... I think Lauri should do this as makeup when it's finally faded.

[beyelzu]

Post proof!
:clap:
Post proof!
:clap:
Post proof!
:clap:

Seriously, it wouldn't hurt to post a photo among friends, would it?
Okay now you're starting to scare me a little. What is it exactly about the battered look that does it for ya? :P
I was afraid we'd miss the entire thing. See, already we missed most of the teal colour.

But now that you mention it ... I think Lauri should do this as makeup when it's finally faded.



see, now you're starting to scare me.

[Lauri D]

Aside from the fact that I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with me that I think it's humorous to share my disfigurement with the world (as it were), this is the best one yet (taken about an hour ago.) Photojournalism is my excuse :P

The colors are purty!!! (Mostly I'm just having fun playing with my camera and new photo cropping program thingie, though...)

Oops file too big. Must retry...

[viscousmemories]

Pssst... there's no picture there.

[Lauri D]

Tryin' again... *thanks vm* ;) :P

GAH! Nevermind, it's way too big and for some reason I can't get it small enough. Maybe tomorrow.
:fuming:

[viscousmemories]

e-mail it to me and I can shrink it. If it's not too big to e-mail.

[Lauri D]

e-mail it to me and I can shrink it. If it's not too big to e-mail.
Will do.