Short Shameful Confessions

[lisarea]

1. Half of the time, I don't know what the fuck Elvis Costello is singing about. He might be saying really bad things. He is kind of an asshole, so he probably sometimes is. And I still have very proprietary feelings about him, too, and I get mad when people talk about him on TV and stuff like that.

2. I secretly think I look pretty hot in big clunkyassed Birkenstocks, but I pretend I like them because they're practical and shit.

3. I have been trying to figure out how to yodel for YEARS, and I still can't do it right. Almost every single time I take a shower or am alone in a car or something, I am practicing how to yodel. I have brought it up in the past like it's some joke or something, but it's not.

4. I love Hostess snowballs.

[godfry n. glad]

I have a weakness for corn dogs.

godfry

[LadyShea]

1. I have my car radio tuned to the 80's station and sing along with almost every song on my way to and from work. And you know what? No matter how bad the day was, I get happy and start smiling when I am singing "Livin' on a Prayer" or "Little Red Corvette" or some shit at the top of my lungs.

2. I seceretly fed one of the neighborhood feral cats because I felt sorry it was so matted. I hoped if it was eating regularly it would clean itself up. It didn't, but I now have the whole gang hanging out at my house...like 8 of them.

I'll think of more i am sure

[Lauri D]

I have a pyramid of diet pepsi, diet coke and bud lite cans on my coffee table right now (built out of sheer boredom yesterday). I'm going to throw them away today though I swear. :blush: :blush:

[livius drusus]

1. I love singing "Separate Ways" at the top of my lungs.

2. I think my dad's 1972 metallic forest green Pinto looks way cool.

3. I sometimes think of myself in the third person as "livius".

4. I sometimes think of myself in the third person as "livius".

[beyelzu]

I have a pyramid of diet pepsi, diet coke and bud lite cans on my coffee table right now (built out of sheer boredom yesterday). I'm going to throw them away today though I swear. :blush: :blush:
you're supposed to build a pyramid out of them ,


damn all this time I have just left them sitting on the floor.

[beyelzu]

1 I hate ellen degeneres, cuz she is at best amusing and not really funny.

2 I have stupid fanboyitis for jeneane gorafolo (sp?)

3 I have used beyelzu for so long that if sign up for something and it isnt available I am actually pretty pissed. I have to restrain myself from hunting down these false beyelzus.

4 I absolutely cant stand it when people spell 9s as 9's

It truly pisses me off.

5. I am falling in love with peaches fuck the pain away.

which is weird cuz I dont really like rap.

[lisarea]

I'll think of more i am sure

Me too. I'm hoping the thread can stay alive enough for a while, so I can just pop in and get things off my chest as they occur to me.

Like this: I have inexplicable and entirely unjustifiable feelings of affection for Don King and Pat Buchanan.

I even have a complicated, specious theory about Pat Buchanan being some kind of culture-jamming mole, but that is entirely motivated by my need to try to feel less guilty about the fact that I just like him for some reason.

[beyelzu]

I'll think of more i am sure

Me too. I'm hoping the thread can stay alive enough for a while, so I can just pop in and get things off my chest as they occur to me.

Like this: I have inexplicable and entirely unjustifiable feelings of affection for Don King and Pat Buchanan.

I even have a complicated, specious theory about Pat Buchanan being some kind of culture-jamming mole, but that is entirely motivated by my need to try to feel less guilty about the fact that I just like him for some reason.I understand the Buchanan thing, in interviews he seems so normal and likeable until he starts talking politics.

[lisarea]

3 I have used beyelzu for so long that if sign up for something and it isnt available I am actually pretty pissed. I have to restrain myself from hunting down these false beyelzus.

Ha ha! When all those free webmail services started popping up around the place, I'd go register lisarea and then not even use it, just because I didn't want other people using it.

Someone else had it at AOL, and then someone was using lisarea.com for some kind of plus-sized tailoring business. And I secretly hoped their reputations were tainted by associations with me. And I check Google sometimes to make sure I'm keeping the lisarea pretenders off the first page of results. And then I laugh and laugh.

Lisa Pea works even better for that, since it was coopted by a bunch of porn sites. So that dumb realtor and that dumb stripper and any other fake me bitches are drowned out on Google not only by me but by veritable OCEANS OF PORNOGRAPHY.

[AspenMama]

I like to watch American Idol and get caught up in those stupid reality tv shows like Extreme Makeover and can't reach the remote... :popcorn:

I save first class trips to Paris that I could never afford in an itinerary on Expedia.

I once drank a $50 bottle of cabernet by myself.

[Ex-zombie]

"How deep is your love" by the BeeGees makes me misty eyed.

[seebs]

I have a really hard time getting to sleep if I can't find my cat and get him to sit at my feet for a while. It's very soothing.

[LadyXoc]

I watch exercise shows while I eat cookies.

I make up song parodies using my cats names. And they each have their own song.

Sometimes I fix hems in skirts with scotch tape. Hey, it's not like anyone can tell unless I get in a car accident or something.

[Corona688]

People think I'm working right now, but I'm not. I'll get my work done when I'm good and ready.

[viscousmemories]

I sometimes spend an inordinate amount of time modeling and/or dancing naked in front of the bathroom mirror before getting in the shower, despite a fairly potent loathing for my body.

[LadyXoc]

I have seven kinds of shampoo and a serious crush on Chow Yun Fat.

[Farren]

I like ABBA

[seebs]

I make up song parodies using my cats names. And they each have their own song.

I made up little raps for the cats, although I've mostly forgotten them. But I remember one:

"My name is Bacchus / I am not raucous. / I do not brag / or make up rhymes."

Of course, my pathetic bragging-rap skills are nothing compared to the guy who does the intro for Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

[beyelzu]

I have seven kinds of shampoo and a serious crush on Chow Yun Fat.
hell, I have a man crush on him


shit, its chow yun fat.

[Lauri D]

I sometimes spend an inordinate amount of time modeling and/or dancing naked in front of the bathroom mirror before getting in the shower, despite a fairly potent loathing for my body.
:roflmao:

I SO do not believe you.

[pescifish]

I am so glad I never married.

... or had kids.

[viscousmemories]

I sometimes spend an inordinate amount of time modeling and/or dancing naked in front of the bathroom mirror before getting in the shower, despite a fairly potent loathing for my body.
:roflmao:

I SO do not believe you.
What don't you believe, that I loathe my body? :D

[Ensign Steve]

I just spent $35 that I don't have on two Slipknot CDs because I couldn't remember which one I liked better.

I have gained 25 pounds since I've been in the Air Force and I'm smoking again.

[godfry n. glad]

I despise oranges.

I talk back to my television.

I don't like my teeth, but be damned if I'll do anything about them.

I secretly enjoy blackhead search and destroy missions.

I really, really like asses.

And cheeks.

And freckles. Oh, yeah....freckles. :faint:


godfry

[viscousmemories]

I have gained 25 pounds since I've been in the Air Force and I'm smoking again.
Well at least it hasn't damaged your self-esteem.

Oh wait, maybe you mean smoking cigarettes? :D

[Lauri D]

I sometimes spend an inordinate amount of time modeling and/or dancing naked in front of the bathroom mirror before getting in the shower, despite a fairly potent loathing for my body.
:roflmao:

I SO do not believe you.
What don't you believe, that I loathe my body? :D
Exactly. The modeling and naked dancing part doesn't surprise me in the least :P

[beyelzu]

I just spent $35 that I don't have on two Slipknot CDs because I couldn't remember which one I liked better.

I have gained 25 pounds since I've been in the Air Force and I'm smoking again.
but slipknot rocks, not as much as tool, but still good music.

[Ensign Steve]

At present I am talking to somebody on YIM that certainly knows me but I have no idea who it is. (forgive me if its one of you)

[Lauri D]

Well, it's good to know that I'm not the only one who makes up little songs for my beloved pet. Dempsey is often on the receiving end of little ditties such as (recently, when he was feeling sick) - "You will survive, you will survive, oh as long as you are wiggling your butt* I'll know that you're alive"

*reference to a Boxer trait of "kidney-beaning", or twisting around with excitement and wiggling the hindquarters uncontrollably.

I'm so embarassed.

[Ymir's blood]

I have no idea who Elvis Costello is beyond the fact that he labled Michael J Fox as the anti-Elvis. ( which may be true)
I pull out annoying nose hairs with a pair of needle nose plyers.
The only thing I watch on TV are documentaries and cartoons.
Thinking about thunderstorms excites me, hurricanes doubly so.

[Scotty]

1) I have a perennially wondering eye. I watch the women in the office all day. I tried to convince them (owners of the business) to please let me stay in the back room I had (we have an open floorplan with no cube walls, and very few walled offices) because it is SOOOO distracting to me. But no, they forced me to sit next to all of the women in the office. <sigh>

2) I get caught up in computer stuff too often. One project after another after another that requires more and more equipment to get an ever expanding retinue.

3) I can't stop eating (to excess!)

4) I need to do projects that come up immediately, otherwise I will forget or push them off until some later date, then forget for two weeks, then remember, then push it off and forget, then it is two years later.

5) I try and try and try to spell words correctly, but just switch to simpler language because when I look it up, I am not even coming close to the correct spelling and I have to stop and look it up and then never really get my idea finished and give up.

6) Math eludes me, I can barely add and subtract, and I want to do so much more (I grew up with a math genius, and I felt very stupid until I realized he was, you know, mega-genius guy and, you know, I wasn't).

7) I can ramble on when typing without saying much.

8) I am doing work right now as I type this, I feel too responsible for work when our store isn't working.

9) I think pzmeyers thinks I don't like him, and I am sorry about that (I think he is pretty darn cool).

10) I want my friends genius in math, lisarea's comic timing, livius' grasp of language, vm's tireless bulldog approach, godfry's tenacious grip (on everything), beyelzu penis, Lauri D's Lauri D's, seebs impeccable character, LadyShea oiled and ready, Ensign Steve's undying adoration, farrens verbal diarrhea (wait, I may have that already), Goliath's HDTV, and a TASP.

11) I use humor a little too often to defray serious situations.

-Scott

edit: can't even spell penis right, I wonder where else I did that wrong?

[livius drusus]

5. I find all of Scotty's confessions enormously endearing.

6. I get really hurt when people accuse me (even jokingly) of thesaurus-slutting.

7. I love crappy 60s Italian Hercules movies.

[Ensign Steve]

Ensign Steve's undying adoration

You have it, baby! :D

[Ymir's blood]

7. I love crappy 60s Italian Hercules movies.
Ooh yeah! I've got a bunch of them on tape, MST3k and otherwise. :biceps:

[Farren]

...farrens verbal diarrhea...

says the man with the longest "short shameful confession" on the thread to the man with the shortest...

[Scotty]

...farrens verbal diarrhea...

says the man with the longest "short shameful confession" on the thread to the man with the shortest...

:lol:

-Scott

[Dingfod]

Got nothing to confess.

[Roland98]

I just spent a full 15 minutes trying to think of a short shameful confession, and came up empty-handed.

The I erased what I typed above because it was just too sad.

Then I re-typed it as my lame short shameful confession.

I even thought about owning up to my collection of Tim McGraw CD's, but didn't think that was quite shameful enough. I mean, it's not like it's Toby Keith. At least Tim McGraw is hot. But then again, I probably know the lyrics to some Toby Keith songs, but it's not like I'm happy about it, 'cause they make my brain bleed. So it can't really be shameful if it annoys the hell out of me, right?

So, um, yeah.

[Roland98]

I have gained 25 pounds since I've been in the Air Force and I'm smoking again.
Well at least it hasn't damaged your self-esteem.

Oh wait, maybe you mean smoking cigarettes? :D


Okay, and also, I didn't get that quip on the first go-round.

[viscousmemories]

I have gained 25 pounds since I've been in the Air Force and I'm smoking again.
Well at least it hasn't damaged your self-esteem.

Oh wait, maybe you mean smoking cigarettes? :D


Okay, and also, I didn't get that quip on the first go-round.
'sokay. It wasn't very funny. :)

[LadyShea]

I have gained 25 pounds since I've been in the Air Force and I'm smoking again.
Well at least it hasn't damaged your self-esteem.

Oh wait, maybe you mean smoking cigarettes? :D


Okay, and also, I didn't get that quip on the first go-round.
'sokay. It wasn't very funny. :)

I laughed right away ;)

[freemonkey]

I also make up songs about my pets.

I still like Elvis Costello.

I'm just a little bit hurt that Scotty doesn't want something of mine. :shy2:

[LadyShea]

I hate automatic transmissions, I mean really hate them. If forced to drive an automatic I yell at the car a lot because it's never in the right gear. I don't think the person who decided what gear automatics should be in, and when they should shift, knew how to drive...or at the very least never tried their nifty system over the Rockies. Car salespeople think I am weird "Yes I want power windows and locks and a trunk popper and a CD player and alarm...oh and a stick shift". My car has NO options, as a matter of fact because I wanted a standard transmission and it only came on the plain models.

[Scotty]

I also make up songs about my pets.

I still like Elvis Costello.

I'm just a little bit hurt that Scotty doesn't want something of mine. :shy2:

Ah, my favorite freemonkey.

1) I could only hope for the talent and gifts of the artist that is known as freemonkey.

-Scott

[pescifish]

I shouldn't be here, but I keep coming back.

[Lauri D]

It's really hard for me to go to sleep alone (even though I must) after having someone here for two months. :( Yeah, I know, cry me a fucking river... give me a break will ya? I am a sensitive soul :sad: )

(Can't help it, pack animal! But Dempsey is out of the picture now, for reasons that should be evident. I need to be able to see out of at least one eye.)

[Brimshack]

I confess a sudden desire to help Lauri with her dilemma. I also confess that this desire is not entirely altruistic.


...I'm a bad man, I know.

[Brimshack]

OK, a real one. I confess that my temper is getting the best of me these days. I seem to get much more angry than I remember, always about simple things, mechanical failures, etc. Not sure what's happening, but the surge of rage is often getting quite out of proportion to the petty frustrations that are causing it.

[Adora]

Hello Father.

It has been *counts* er... 11.. 13... er, an unknown amount of time since my last confession.

I love having garlic breath. Garlic is also amoung the strange vegetables and fruits I love eating raw that seem to be taboo. Also in this group are celery, onions, and most importantly, lemons. I eat lemons like other people eat oranges.

I loved Alien: Ressurrection. I think it was the best movie of the Alien series. I also seem to have a thing for "last" movies in series. I fucking adore The Matrix: Revolutions and I even think RotJ is the best Star Wars movies, even with the ewoks. RotK has issues though...

I am ridiculously proud of the fact I can lick my own nipples without effort or bodily harm. It is one of the few upsides to having a weird neck, big boobs and a very long tongue.

I've had a crush on a man 30 years my senior for far longer than is healthy, and I can't see myself getting over this soon.

I find David Wenham ridiculously sexy.

That's all I can think of for now. *goes off to read porn when she should be saying Hail Mary's*

Fuck... my Catholic upbringing still haunts me... *scared as shit* Oh, there's a confession: I still can't seem to deal with the warping of my mind by a Catholic upbringing, even though I should have gotten-the-fuck-over-it by now.

[beyelzu]

I cant keep my mouth shut when I feel threatened not even when there is a gun involved.

[beyelzu]

I derailed a perfectly good thread with my last post.


btw everyone please accept the above post as funny or joking and dont actually derail this thread it is just too much fun. :D

[Dingfod]

I love to drive fast. I've been over 100 mph more times than I can count. Someone said, about that guy that got the speeding ticket for 205 mph, "Who would want to do that?" Me.

[beyelzu]

I love to drive fast. I've been over 100 mph more times than I can count. Someone said, about that guy that got the speeding ticket for 205 mph, "Who would want to do that?" Me.
I so agree with you. I especially love to speed in moderate to heavy traffic. Weaving in and out.

[Roland98]

I hate automatic transmissions, I mean really hate them. If forced to drive an automatic I yell at the car a lot because it's never in the right gear. I don't think the person who decided what gear automatics should be in, and when they should shift, knew how to drive...or at the very least never tried their nifty system over the Rockies. Car salespeople think I am weird "Yes I want power windows and locks and a trunk popper and a CD player and alarm...oh and a stick shift". My car has NO options, as a matter of fact because I wanted a standard transmission and it only came on the plain models.

AMEN!! The one reason I bought and kept my POS Stratus for so long was because it's so damn hard to find a stick shift in a "family" car. I miss my manual. :(

[Dingfod]

I hate automatic transmissions, I mean really hate them. If forced to drive an automatic I yell at the car a lot because it's never in the right gear. I don't think the person who decided what gear automatics should be in, and when they should shift, knew how to drive...or at the very least never tried their nifty system over the Rockies. Car salespeople think I am weird "Yes I want power windows and locks and a trunk popper and a CD player and alarm...oh and a stick shift". My car has NO options, as a matter of fact because I wanted a standard transmission and it only came on the plain models.

AMEN!! The one reason I bought and kept my POS Stratus for so long was because it's so damn hard to find a stick shift in a "family" car. I miss my manual. :(I hate manual transmission vehicles in bumper-to-bumper stop-and-go traffic. Clutch. Inch forward. Clutch. Inch forward. Clutch. Inch forward. Clutch. Inch forward. This is where automatics excel.

[Godless Dave]

I am so glad I never married.

... or had kids.
That is in no way shameful! When I was younger I was sure I didn't want either. Now that I sort of do, I wonder if it's for the wrong reasons.

I am really attracted to women who look cheap and slutty. But I have no patience for women who obsess about their appearance.

I don't much like Elvis Costello. Or Firehose, the Replacements, or Uncle Tupelo. I have no alt-rock cred.

I am entertained by other people's dysfunctional families. I enjoy reading stories on http://www.motherinlawstories.com/

Part of me enjoys being overweight because I was so skinny as a kid.

[Roland98]

I hate manual transmission vehicles in bumper-to-bumper stop-and-go traffic. Clutch. Inch forward. Clutch. Inch forward. Clutch. Inch forward. Clutch. Inch forward. This is where automatics excel.

Agreed. But luckily, not much bumper-to-bumper traffic here.

[Dingfod]

I hate manual transmission vehicles in bumper-to-bumper stop-and-go traffic. Clutch. Inch forward. Clutch. Inch forward. Clutch. Inch forward. Clutch. Inch forward. This is where automatics excel.

Agreed. But luckily, not much bumper-to-bumper traffic here.Nor here, but in Salt Lake City there was. When I first moved there I had a Chrysler Turbo Laser with a five speed. When it would take six light changes to get through an intersection and over an hour to commute 10 miles that 5 speed sucked, big time. Traffic would crawl along at speeds too low for my car to stay in gear so it was just as I described before, clutch in, clutch out, for miles and miles. It sucked.

[LadyXoc]

I belong to a lot of book clubs. I sign my cats up for them so I can track how much junk mail they generate.

[godfry n. glad]

I'm just a little bit hurt that Scotty doesn't want something of mine. :shy2:

Don't feel too bad, I'm still trying to figure out what "godfry's tenacious grip (on everything)" means. I think there's a typo and it's supposed to be "gripe" instead of "grip". :D

godfry

[Goliath]

I never learned how to drive a car with a stick-shift. The only such vehicle that my parents had was an '82 Toyota pickup that was really too small for me to drive (the cab was smaller than the front interior of most--if not all--compact cars).

[Goliath]

I also don't want to have children.

I usually don't feel shameful about this, but once in awhile, I feel a slight twinge of guilt about it.

[freemonkey]

Whenever my husband and I are around badly behaving children, long suffering parents or any other thing unpleasant having to do with kids, we give eachother a high five (sometimes a low five if we're trying to be invisible).

I started giggling when my mom was telling me about some "really good artist who paints on saws and rocks and other stuff", and how she bought one that was done on a plaster (cow?) skull. I think I hurt her feelings, 'cause she got all defensive. I couldn't help it, I am such an art snob. :D

[beyelzu]

Whenever my husband and I are around badly behaving children, long suffering parents or any other thing unpleasant having to do with kids, we give eachother a high five (sometimes a low five if we're trying to be invisible).
indeed, whenever I see one the obnoxious beasts in public I just smile to myself.

I started giggling when my mom was telling me about some "really good artist who paints on saws and rocks and other stuff", and how she bought one that was done on a plaster (cow?) skull. I think I hurt her feelings, 'cause she got all defensive. I couldn't help it, I am such an art snob. :D

many people try to pass off crafts as art, and, when they are friend or family, I find it hard to not make fun of them for it.


I sometimes feel like I need a giant sign that says,"If you followed a pattern, its not art, dumbass"

[lisarea]

I thought of some more:

I goad people. I intentionally say and do things sometimes that I know will cause people to get angry. And I try to act all innocent when I'm doing it, so I get away with it A LOT. This is an one positive side effect of looking even stupider than I am. I really think I get away with it because people assume I am incapable of forming intent. But the part I am actually ashamed of is the fact that I'm not all that ashamed of that behavior, and I probably should be.

Also, I have this stupid affectation where I talk like a hillbilly.

[Dingfod]

Also, I have this stupid affectation where I talk like a hillbilly.An hear I thunk you wuz won uv us.

[LadyXoc]

I love cheesy unauthorized biography type books.

[livius drusus]

I love cheesy unauthorized biography type books.
Oh my god yes! Tell me you read Kitty Kelley's His Way.

[LadyXoc]

Is that the Sinatra? Beeecause I ordered that off Amazon. I can't wait!

Edited to add "The Royals" fucking rocked.

[livius drusus]

Is that the Sinatra? Beeecause I ordered that off Amazon. I can't wait!

Yes! Oh shit it's so awesomely juicy. You simply must start a thread about it once you've read a bit.

Edited to add "The Royals" fucking rocked.

It sure as hell did. Can you believe how pig-ignorant the Queen is? :D

[LadyXoc]

It sure as hell did. Can you believe how pig-ignorant the Queen is? :D

It explains how she could raise a son who can't hold his own specimen bottle. Can you say, "Piss Boy?" :hysteric:

[beyelzu]

great, now I am going to be drawn in to reading some of those trashy unauthorized biographies.


Because I want to know just how ignorant Her Majesty is.

[pescifish]

I'm pissed off today. And I'm not gonna tell you why. So there.

[beyelzu]

I'm pissed off today. And I'm not gonna tell you why. So there.
a short, shameful, offensive confession


:bow: :bow: :bow:

[livius drusus]

7. The split thread (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=589) screen was in threaded view and it almost gave me a stroke.

[beyelzu]

7. The split thread (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=589) screen was in threaded view and it almost gave me a stroke.
I almost gave liv a stoke by requesting a thread split.

and I made her put her requests for sordid confessions in the wrong thread.

[Scotty]

I'm just a little bit hurt that Scotty doesn't want something of mine. :shy2:

Don't feel too bad, I'm still trying to figure out what "godfry's tenacious grip (on everything)" means. I think there's a typo and it's supposed to be "gripe" instead of "grip". :D

godfry

It was a tossup between grip and gripe and tenuous and tenacious. :D

;)

-Scott

[godfry n. glad]

I'm just a little bit hurt that Scotty doesn't want something of mine. :shy2:

Don't feel too bad, I'm still trying to figure out what "godfry's tenacious grip (on everything)" means. I think there's a typo and it's supposed to be "gripe" instead of "grip". :D

godfry

It was a tossup between grip and gripe and tenuous and tenacious. :D

;)

-Scott

:roflmao:

[godfry n. glad]

liv stole my confessions and displayed them elsewhere to an unsuspecting public.

How will I ever live down my humiliation?

godfry

[JoeP]

I love to drive fast. I've been over 100 mph more times than I can count. Someone said, about that guy that got the speeding ticket for 205 mph, "Who would want to do that?" Me.
I so agree with you. I especially love to speed in moderate to heavy traffic. Weaving in and out.
I rarely drive super-fast (over 150kmh) but I always exceed the speed limit if possible. And I get angry with drivers who block lanes on the highway by keeping to the speed limit.

I regard speeding fines as a pretty small percentage of overall taxation, and as a "pay per use" fee. They don't deter me.

[JoeP]

I don't really have time to read all the posts on the board at the moment (at work) but I still do.

I feel bad that I don't have time to respond properly to all the interesting threads. I'm not really post-slutting with all the short replies, honest. :pinocchio:

And the worst bit is I could have the time. It's all in the attitude.

[JoeP]

But the part I am actually ashamed of is the fact that I'm not all that ashamed of that behavior, and I probably should be.
So you're ashamed of not being ashamed? :saywhat: Unfortunately, I know what you mean even if it doesn't make any sense.
Also, I have this stupid affectation where I talk like a hillbilly.
Hau, you should len to tauk like a Satheffrican bleck men.

[godfry n. glad]

liv stole my confessions and displayed them elsewhere to an unsuspecting public.

How will I ever live down my humiliation?

godfry

I know... I'll go there and recapture it and bring it back here...


Originally Posted by livius drusus:
How about giving this thread a bump, gentlemen, and letting this one here turn back into the sordid confessional it was meant to be?


Aw...shucks.

Been there, bought the teeshirt. Indeed, I have a collection of teeshirts that I've purchased on my travels. It's what I where to work most days. (think: graybeard dweeb) I feel blest that I need not wear a noose...uh, leash...no, I mean: tie.

I have HIADD.

I also collect hats. Sorta.

I've gained 15 pounds since I got back from Asia in June, and I can't fit into most of my newest teeshirts.

I resent having to exercise.

My blood pressure and diabetes are under control, but my cholesterol count came back as 321...ouch. Goodbye, corn dogs.

Cellphones annoy me. Cellphone users annoy me more. A lot, in fact.

I like bagpipe music.

godfry

There, happy?

[lisarea]

More.

I sort of forget to eat a lot. But it's not so much like forgetting as it is that I lack inspiration. So, if there's nothing around that I really feel like eating, I procrastinate. I can be awake ten hours sometimes before I realize I haven't gotten around to eating. And all too often, I'll discover this too late. There's a window when the realization hits me. I have maybe ten or twenty minutes before my blood sugar dips to the point that I don't even have the wherewithal to make something. I get cranky and mean, and really feel like punching someone, and all too often, that someone is the long-suffering ODB. And then I make him go buy me a fucking cheeseburger or something from McDonald's. Which I really pretty much hate. They make me want to vomit, so I end up choking down some disgusting slimy gray thing that makes me feel like shit for the rest of the day.

Guess howcome I just remembered THAT last night?

[livius drusus]

godfry's consolidation of the cross-thread confessions actually did make me happy. Really, really happy.

[HelenM]

This is maybe too long, but it's the thing I'm most personally embarrassed about at the moment...

A couple of weeks ago the day before our 17th wedding anniversary I walked by the window and as an unthinking reaction to being aware the garage door was open, pushed the garage door opener remote, shutting the door on my husband's car as he was backing out.

I didn't realize until he stormed in a few moments later, livid.

It scraped the paint off the edge of his trunk and bent the door opener mechanism in its crumple zone. He straightened out the mechanism and we will do something like get the trunk resprayed.

So I thought that was the full extent of the damage but then yesterday at lunchtime I went to open the garage door - to get my car out - and it failed to open, moving slightly and ending up wedged closed in the opening. I went inside through the side door and found out a big spring had broken off one side. It's a huge one-piece heavy wooden door (our house is vintage 1920s) that I knew I couldn't unwedge. So then I panicked because although I didn't have to drive anywhere right then, I needed my car at 3 p.m. to take the children to piano lessons.

I called my husband and he came home to help (and then work at home) which was really nice of him. I think this is the only time I've very much wanted him to come home early because of me except when I was manic and panicky some years ago)

Between the two of us we unwedged it and lifted it up so I could get my car out, which was a big relief. Now I need to arrange for someone to come and fix the spring.

It's so stupidly unnecessary though...just because I pressed the door opener without thinking...aaarrrggghhhh...

Helen

[livius drusus]

Oh hell, if we're going to get into motor vehicle related confessions, I suspect your misplaced enthusiasm will come out smelling like a rose, Helen.

I once got a speeding ticket after passing a police car on a crowded highway in Maine. We actually made eye contact as my fatefully leaden foot pushed me past his (marked, yes, marked) Crown Victoria. He smiled so slowly as he turned on the flashing lights; it was like something from a Bond flick.

That was damn embarassing.

[JoeP]

The worst damage I have ever done to a car was while I was on a training course with IBM (a looong time ago). Final (residential) course to become a Systems Engineer, end of course party, spilling out of the large conference room onto the grounds of the very nice Berkshire house they owned for training. I decided the party needed more flashing lights, and that hazard lights would be the best. Went to get my keys, went to get my car (hmm. My dad's car), drove it around the building to the party area ... and instead of going between the two brick pillars went to the left (in alcoholic confusion) down the ditch into the brick wall.

[JoeP]

Cellphones annoy me. Cellphone users annoy me more. A lot, in fact.

I like bagpipe music.


Solution: cellphones with bagpipe music polyphonic ring tones? :eek:

[Godless Dave]

... so I end up choking down some disgusting slimy gray thing that makes me feel like shit for the rest of the day.
Please post sex-related threads in the Sexuality forum.

If I lived with a partner who had a habit of forgetting to eat and getting grumpy as a result, I would probably try to figure out her sugar schedule and have snacks ready at certain times of the day. I did once interrupt one of my girlfriend's rants and ask her to hang up the phone and call me back after she'd eaten something. She was very understanding; she knows how she is.

[Godless Dave]

My most shameful automotive confession:

Returning from a bike ride, I forgot my bike was on the roof of the car and drove into the garage, stopping only when I felt resistance. It cost $250 to repair my bike and my car had two big dents in the roof for the rest of its life.

[HelenM]

Latest update: this morning my husband's car wouldn't start :(. (He doesn't usually drive so he didn't need it today, fortunately). I mean, like really didn't start. He turned the key and it clicked and the lights flashed. That was all.

I really really hope this isn't my fault too. Plus, we found the new dents where the garage door spring fell on his car :(

Helen

[HelenM]

My most shameful automotive confession:

Returning from a bike ride, I forgot my bike was on the roof of the car and drove into the garage, stopping only when I felt resistance. It cost $250 to repair my bike and my car had two big dents in the roof for the rest of its life.

Thanks - that makes me feel a little better :P

I wish it was my car I'd damaged, not my husband's. I mean, mine is bound to get dented up by me eventually anyway :P But until I intervened, his was pretty much scratch-free :(

Helen

[Godless Dave]

Do you have comprehensive insurance on the car? That might cover the body damage, minus a deductible.

I can't say for sure, but I doubt an impact to the back of the car could cause it not to start. Everything involved with starting the car is in the front. It's remotely possible the impact to the rear could have dislodged some wiring, causing a short in the electrical system, but I don't think it's likely.

Clicking with no attempt to turn over usually means the battery or the alternator is bad. Both are things that wear out/run out over time. The rule of thumb I heard is if a car battery is more than five years old it can die at any time.

[godfry n. glad]

Cellphones annoy me. Cellphone users annoy me more. A lot, in fact.

I like bagpipe music.


Solution: cellphones with bagpipe music polyphonic ring tones? :eek:

Blasphemy!

[Dingfod]

No, blast for you.

[Ensign Steve]

I examine the contents of my kleenex for color and texture to determine how sick I am.

[Lauri D]

I examine the contents of my kleenex for color and texture to determine how sick I am. Doesn't everyone do that? I mean, it's for a good reason.

[viscousmemories]

I examine the contents of my kleenex for color and texture to determine how sick I am. Doesn't everyone do that? I mean, it's for a good reason.
Who needs a reason? I do it just out of curiosity.

[Lauri D]

I examine the contents of my kleenex for color and texture to determine how sick I am. Doesn't everyone do that? I mean, it's for a good reason.
Who needs a reason? I do it just out of curiosity. And curiosity is a perfectly good reason. :D

[Ensign Steve]

Compass Rose says:
kinda like looking in the toidy after a dump
Ensign Steve says:
LOL
Compass Rose says:
i do it
Ensign Steve says:
you are gross!
Ensign Steve says:
me too, and I have to fight the urge to tell other people about it
Compass Rose says:
the fact that you do it, or to explain the details of your dump?
Ensign Steve says:
to explain the details
Compass Rose says:
and I'm gross?

:puke:

[Farren]

{Suppresses urge to tell JD she's talking crap}

So why don't you ever explain the details? I mean crap is full of useful information. Like, when its all runny with reddish bits it often means you had Mexican the night before and you're walking around with the uncomfortable sensation that you you didn't quite finish the job no matter how long you sat on the ivory throne.

[godfry n. glad]

I examine the contents of my kleenex for color and texture to determine how sick I am. Doesn't everyone do that? I mean, it's for a good reason.
Who needs a reason? I do it just out of curiosity. And curiosity is a perfectly good reason. :D

That, and that color and texture can be indicators of certain conditions... treatable conditions. It can differentiate sinus infection from rhinovirus, for one.

....but I'm not a physician.

So, don't listen to me.

This time.

Curiosity is a good reason.

godfry n. glad

[Farren]

That, and that color and texture can be indicators of certain conditions... treatable conditions. It can differentiate sinus infection from rhinovirus, for one.

....but I'm not a physician.

So, don't listen to me.

This time.

Curiosity is a good reason.

godfry n. glad

I would definitely want to know if I had a rhino up my nose. They're dangerous, unless you stand veeery still.

How you gonna sneeze and stand very still at the same?

[Roland98]

I've been to a Blink182 concert. And I mostly liked it.

[Lauri D]

I've been to a Blink182 concert. And I mostly liked it.
That's not shameful, silly creature ;) They are fun! I saw them last year.

[Godless Dave]

I still think Trans-Ams are cool.

http://www.javelinamx.com/carstars/bandit7.jpg

[beyelzu]

I've been to a Blink182 concert. And I mostly liked it.
That's not shameful, silly creature ;) They are fun! I saw them last year.
dont listen to her Roland,

be ashamed be very ashamed.

cue scary music.

[livius drusus]

I still think Trans-Ams are cool.

http://www.javelinamx.com/carstars/bandit7.jpg

Yeah, so do I. Fucking Knight Rider. I blame Hasselhoff for this.

[LadyShea]

I once shot my car with a .22 pistol. From the inside.

[Godless Dave]

Now that's a story I gotta hear!

[JoeP]

I made my daughter cry by chatting on this forum.

[Petra]

I think JoeP is a meanie for making his daughter cry while chatting on this forum.


I got hammered on strong ale the other night and played my stereo at top volume ALL night to blow away my flatmate rage, and it worked. I broke a plate accidentally, made a hell of a mess in the kitchen and didn't clean it up, and showed no mercy with regard to the music I was playing. It felt really good. :)

I suffered for my sins yesterday, though. Oh, lordy, how I suffered.

[Petra]

I still think Trans-Ams are cool.

http://www.javelinamx.com/carstars/bandit7.jpg

Yeah, so do I. Fucking Knight Rider. I blame Hasselhoff for this.

I still think TransAms and Cameros (Camaros?) are cool, too. Especially when they're all custom painted an' stuff.

[Petra]

I once shot my car with a .22 pistol. From the inside.

How did you do that?
:eek:

[Gawen]

I sometimes just don't give a rat's ass.



I think that just about covers any rant I could possibly come up with.

[Gawen]

I stapled my left arm 3 times thursday last.

{edited to add} On purpose.

[Dingfod]

I'm gettng druck right now. serius.ley

[LadyXoc]

I once shot my car with a .22 pistol. From the inside.

How did you do that?
:eek:

??? You are going to tell us, right? It would be cruel to just leave it at that.

[livius drusus]

I stapled my left arm 3 times thursday last.

{edited to add} On purpose.

What purpose was that?

[Gawen]

I stapled my left arm 3 times thursday last.

{edited to add} On purpose.

What purpose was that?

I work with a bunch of pussys. This young man I work with, who is an EMT/firefighter wannabe goes off on a tangent about the Jackass movie and some guy he knew that stapled his ball sack to his leg. Of course the other 14 guys chime in with stunts in the movies and other witnessing of 'extreme' idiocy they've seen other people do, one of which was a friend that stapled is arm.

Tired of hearing this crap, I went into my supervisors office and borrowed his stapler, opened it up and smacked my arm with it three times. When I showed the EMT he turned white and I thought he was gonna barf. It got real quiet too. I asked him to pull out the staples...noooo.
Pussy.
Just so you all know, I don't normally do things like this. But I thought an example would be better than talk. And it didn't hurt one little bit. I figure, if I can live through an injection...or several injections, I can live through a couple staples to make a point.
I offered to them that anyone there could do the same. They all declined. I offered to let one of them do it to me...he declined.
And I suppose that me being the oldest in the department had an ego thing going on. You see, these guys are the roughest toughest pussy's I ever met. And to toot my own horn, I shoot better than they do...me using their own guns!! They don't fuck with me.
Living in a guys world 8+ hours a day, one needs to make a stand now and then to show one isn't getting soft. I thought the staple thing was adequate. Actually, a couple of the guys come to me now and then for....lifes little questions?

It all has to do with fitting in...

[livius drusus]

Holy crap. You're kind of a scary, scary badass, you know that?

[LadyShea]

How I shot my car

I was 19, I had broken up with Frankie stupidly, he didn't want to get back together right away, and I needed to get away. I decided to take a road trip to visit my friend Jeff at University of Wyoming.

I was living with my friend Wendy at the time, and her dad had given us this crappy, old, .22 pistol for protection. Wendy and I decided, again with the stupidity of being 19, that I should take the gun on my road trip. I did

So I make it to Laramie, and Jeff and I are sitting in the car in front of his frat house talking about what we want to do, and I decided to show him the gun :doh: . I demonstrated the "double" safety, only it didn't work and the gun fired. After a stunned couple o' seconds I said "Are you shot?" he said "No, are you?" NO. Where the hell did the bullet go'? We searched for a few minutes, then found a hole in the dash the size of a pencil eraser. It was so tiny! I thought everything was fine.

When I got home I noticed that radiator fluid was escaping into the car when I turned on the heater. I asked my dad to look at the car. He called me out to the garage on the intercom, and held up a mangled bullet and asked me what happend :innocent: . Luckily he agreed not to tell mom the story. So that's the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life and I am still mortified.

Side note: I met Jeff at a gifted and talented camp when we were 15. At UofW he was planning on going into International banking. He was like a mega genius. We lost touch, but a couple years ago I found out he had become a cop with the K-9 unit. You can see his picture here (http://www.cheyennecity.org/police.htm) . I thought that was cool and interesting

Anyway can we go back to cool cars now?

My dream car will always be a 70 1/2 Camaro Z28
http://www.greene-shipman.org/70CamaroZ28Orange.jpg

[Petra]

Holy shit, Lady Shea! :eek:


Holy shit, Gawen! :eek:


You people are nuts. Young, old, whatever - you're fucking nuts. :popcorn:

[wildernesse]

I only have a limited number of summer clothes. It is very obvious that I wear the same thing every week. Sometimes, if I've done laundry (and even when I haven't) I wear the same thing twice--but only if I'm not going to run into the same people!

I waver between loving clothes (oh, I love clothes) and feeling like it's silly to have more than you actually need for a week.

[Gawen]

Good grief! If I ever need to draw attention to myself, I know what stories to tell...LOL. No, I'm no badass. Far from it. I sought only to make an impression and it worked. Crazy? Naaah....if it had been a nailgun, then I wouldn't have said a word...lol.

Us old codgers have to keep our place in the herd...ya know... :yup: ...and teach weapon safety to the girls or we'll be fixing radiator hoses all the time...LOL.

[viscousmemories]

I don't want to staple my arm.

[lisarea]

I want to staple vm's arm.

[viscousmemories]

I want to let lisa staple my arm.

[LadyXoc]

Holy shit, Lady Shea! :eek:


Holy shit, Gawen! :eek:


You people are nuts. Young, old, whatever - you're fucking nuts. :popcorn:

All I can say is "Holy FUCK." That covers the staples, the bullet holes, and the pic of the car. LOL

[JoeP]

I want to staple EVERYONE on the board together.
:conga::conga::conga::conga::conga:

[Gawen]

I don't wanna staple someone's arm. But there IS someone's arm I'd like to kiss.....WOO HOO!!


Shameful...juuuuuuuust shameful...

[Lauri D]

I want to staple EVERYONE on the board together.
:conga::conga::conga::conga::conga: :rofl: Fabulous use of that smilie, Joe.

[JoeP]

The conga smilie just begs to be chained together ... umm, stapled ... that way.

Now, when are you going to set your custom member title like I suggested? :hmmm:

[copiae]

A spider once cost me close to $900. Ever since that day, I have been on a one-man mission to rid the world of spiders.


Often in banks and stuff, when waiting for the teller, I plan the perfect robbery, usually down to minute details.

[Ymir's blood]

A spider once cost me close to $900. Ever since that day, I have been on a one-man mission to rid the world of spiders.


Often in banks and stuff, when waiting for the teller, I plan the perfect robbery, usually down to minute details.
But you failed to take into account... the lowly spider. :thinkup:

[copiae]

But you failed to take into account... the lowly spider. :thinkup:

Exactly the reason why I plan the perfect robbery, not commit it :D

[LadyShea]

A spider once cost me close to $900. Ever since that day, I have been on a one-man mission to rid the world of spiders.


Okay, I need the full story on this one

[Ensign Steve]

I'm guessing medical costs.

[beyelzu]

I'm guessing medical costs.
well I will bet against you.


I am thinking inferno when peer tried to burn a spider to death using a can of hair spray and a zippo ala mcguyver.

[beyelzu]

I am ok with doing something really stupid as long as I mcgyver my way out of it



like a few weeks ago I locked my keys in my running car.

I just left the car running and when I tried to open the door the locks locked automatically.

so I used a pocket knife and a hanger, I pried my window open enough to get the hanger in and trip the door locks.


and I was proud damnit.

[pescifish]

like a few weeks ago I locked my keys in my running car.
I've done that twice with my pickup truck. I was lazy, though, and simply called AAA to open it. Woulda been more fun your way!

[viscousmemories]

I locked my keys in my car when I was a teenager, and I didn't have triple-A so I was screwed. Moreover the gas station up at the corner wouldn't loan me their slimjim without a $10 deposit ($10 more than I had) and wanted $10 to walk the 50 yards to do it for me. So of course I walked back to the car muttering obscenities, picked up a big rock and smashed one of the rear windows. That's why god made cardboard.

[Ymir's blood]

I've only been locked out of a vehicle once. It was at work but luckily a passing policeman got the truck open. Since then, I've been careful to have a spare key to anything I'm driving.

[seebs]

Our old roommate used to staple his arms. When he worked in a convenience store, he'd staple his arm for a dollar, and the neighborhood kids would come in with scraped together change and count it up and pay him to put five staples in his arm. Kept him in cheapo cigarettes.

[beyelzu]

I've only been locked out of a vehicle once. It was at work but luckily a passing policeman got the truck open. Since then, I've been careful to have a spare key to anything I'm driving.
I normally keep a spare in my wallet. I lost it awhile back. walmart has been out of blanks for hondas the last 3 times I have been there.

[Dingfod]

I've only been locked out of a vehicle once. It was at work but luckily a passing policeman got the truck open. Since then, I've been careful to have a spare key to anything I'm driving.
I normally keep a spare in my wallet. I lost it awhile back. walmart has been out of blanks for hondas the last 3 times I have been there.I get all my keys made at Lowes or Home Depot. They not only have virtually every key blank, including ones that work for Honda motorcycles, but they have computerized key grinding machines.

[Dingfod]

I locked my keys in my car when I was a teenager, and I didn't have triple-A so I was screwed. Moreover the gas station up at the corner wouldn't loan me their slimjim without a $10 deposit ($10 more than I had) and wanted $10 to walk the 50 yards to do it for me. So of course I walked back to the car muttering obscenities, picked up a big rock and smashed one of the rear windows. That's why god made cardboard.One of my coworkers in Colorado had locked his keys in the company truck. He ended up breaking out the rear window to get in only to find out that the passenger side window was rolled down. D'oh! He was a real dumbass. That was only one of many incidents with this guy before he ended up getting fired.

[Dingfod]

I just now remembered that I once started an "I'm a threadkiller." thread at snopes.com message board, it ended up being 48 or 49 pages long before someone drove a stake through it's heart.

[copiae]

Okay, I need the full story on this one


Heh,

I was in my car one morning, driving along, when a spider appeared on the steering wheel. It was about 3-4 cms in width (~ 1.5 inchs), jet black in colour, and had bright yellow streaks on its body. I didn't like spiders much - especially unknown spiders with unknown temperaments and toxicity, so, keeping one hand on the steering wheel to keep it steady, I tried using the other hand to brush it off the wheel.

Meanwhile, the road veered to the right. I didnt. I mounted the kerb and collected a wooden bus stop sign (its like a yellow coloured wooden stake that comes up above ground about 3 feet). Forgetting the damn spider, I regained control of the car, stopped at the side of the road, got out, and ...

who would have thought that a wooden bus stop sign could do so much damage? My bumper bar was quite bent in, the radiator grille too, and the bonnet didnt close properly any more. On the side, it seemed that the car had acquired some scratches - from the foliage, no doubt.

It turns out that there was about $1700 damage on the car, and the excess of my insurance payment amounted to about $900. What happened to the spider? I have no idea. I never saw the little bugger again, but since then, as soon as a spider is seen in or near my house, its dead.

[pescifish]

I've only been locked out of a vehicle once. It was at work but luckily a passing policeman got the truck open. Since then, I've been careful to have a spare key to anything I'm driving.I have spare keys. They're in my purse. Which is usually left inside the truck. :doh:

I've locked myself out of that truck more times than those two, but those were the times I'd left it running. That Toyota pickup is hard to break into. No one has been able to get it open with a slimjim. One time, the tow truck guy couldn't get it open with either the slimjim or another tool he had. He ended up driving me up to my house (only a couple of miles away) so that I could use my spare house key to get inside the house and get my third truck key.

Well, I only pretended to get a spare house key for the tow truck guy's benefit. I didn't want him to know the house was unlocked.

I've run out of gas in each and every one of my vehicles (except my latest car and the FZ1 motorcycle). I hate stopping for gas and I usually wait until it's well past "E" to do it. AAA takes care of that, too. :innocent:

[Lauri D]

peer, you are my new hero for your being The Spider Hunter.

I am highly phobic of the little fuckers, and once jumped off a moving car to escape one. Yes, not "out of" but "off". When we were living in Papua New Guinea (I was ten or eleven at the time) my parents had this ancient Land Cruiser, the kind that had little running boards on the sides. Since we could only go about 10mph max up the hill to our house from Base, they would let me ride standing on the running boards. Anyway, this one time we were heading up the hill and a big-ass spider (as most spiders there are) came crawling merrily toward me along the side panel. With a shriek, I leapt off the vehicle and into a patch of kunai grass on the roadside. Other than a few minor scratches from the sharp grass, I was fine, but I about gave my parents a heart attack.

Anyhoo, your story cracked me up because it is something I could easily see happening to me. A couple weeks back when Dan was still here, we were in the drive-thru at In-N-Out when I spied a spider trying to hide in the corner near the visor on his (passenge) side. He saw my face go ashen and was like "what's the matter"? (as I was suddenly leaning as far to the left as possible). When I pointed it out to him he laughed, but I got out of the car and made him kill it before I'd get back in. It was big, too, one of the "wofl" spiders we get around here in the Fall. He had this habit of leaving my car windows open overnight and since I parked under the front yard tree they like to come down from, I knew it was only a matter of time til one came for me. Since then I have quite anally checked every night to make sure none of the car windows are even CRACKED. :shudder:

[Godless Dave]

I normally keep a spare in my wallet.
I just realized I still have a key to my Saturn in my wallet. I sold the Saturn two months ago.

I also just realized I only have one key for my new Subaru. This is my first car with remote power locks, and I never use the key to unlock it, just to drive it. Now I want a spare key and a spare remote for the locks.

[HelenM]

When I was eight years old my friend's parent drove me home from a playdate at my friend's house. She (?) stopped opposite my house and said "Will you be ok crossing the road?" "Yes", I said, then crossed without looking and was hit by a car.

(Although I was knocked unconscious and taken to the hospital in an ambulance I came home a couple of days later with nothing more serious than minor cuts and bruises)

Helen

p.s. my husband bought cables on Saturday and jump-started his car and drove it around for a while and it seems fine now. He discovered that he had left the trunk slightly open for five days; the inside trunk lights being on that long must have been enough to give it a flat battery.

[HelenM]

Ooooh, I thought of another one!

When I tried to smuggle Bovril into the US.

I didn't know it was a banned substance, I swear I didn't... :paperbag:

Helen

[pescifish]

My shameful confession for today:
I don't know what Bovril is. :(

(Helen ...?)

[livius drusus]

You're pretty naughty, Helen. :super:

[Ymir's blood]

I love Plan 9 From Outer Space :popcorn:

I usually wear the same pair of pants two days in a row.

I once lied to my parents about having to work so as not to spend Thanksgiving with them.

[HelenM]

My shameful confession for today:
I don't know what Bovril is. :(

(Helen ...?)

Oh, it's beef extract; it's dark, with about the consistency of treacle, but of course it's savory. British people eat it as a spread on toast, for example.

Importing Bovril into the US was banned a few years ago because of BSE. I didn't realize it was banned; I assumed - until that, ahem, incident - that the high temperatures used to process something like Bovril would render it safe. Evidently not.

Helen

[HelenM]

You're pretty naughty, Helen. :super:

Sure am :D

[LadyShea]

Okay,I don't know what treacle is :blush3: ....only that Harry Potter likes treacle pudding

[The Lone Ranger]

Okay,I don't know what treacle is :blush3: ....only that Harry Potter likes treacle pudding

"Treacle" is what the Brits call that sickeningly-sweet stuff that we here in the U.S. call "molasses."

Cheers,

Michael

[wade-w]

Never mind.

[Lauri D]

Never mind. No... no... NO FAIRS!!! Where is the temper-tantrum smilie? :madrant:

Yeah! These smilies rock the house... thanks liv (oh and vm I guess ;) )

[wade-w]

Trust me Lauri, it was not something I should have said out loud in public. I'm just glad nobody seems to have seen it before I deleted it.

[HelenM]

Okay,I don't know what treacle is :blush3: ....only that Harry Potter likes treacle pudding

Oops - so much for my explanation :D

Yeah, I meant, molasses; I was trying to describe a consistency that is thick and pours slowly.

Just to confuse the issue, the "treacle" which is poured on treacle pudding is not molasses, although that's generally what treacle means. In the context of treacle pudding, it's golden syrup, which is a lighter color and has a lighter flavor than molasses.

Helen

[Dingfod]

I usually wear the same pair of pants two days in a row.That's all? I guess I'm really bad then. I'll wear the same pair of jeans for three or four days. Unless they get dirty or stinky or start to take on a personality of their own, why change them? Maybe this is why I don't have any friends. One of my coworkers cannot go out to a bar after work unless he brings a change of clothing, 12 hours in the same clothes (climate controlled control room) is too much. He has lots of friends. Hmmm?

[Godless Dave]

Just to confuse the issue, the "treacle" which is poured on treacle pudding is not molasses, although that's generally what treacle means. In the context of treacle pudding, it's golden syrup, which is a lighter color and has a lighter flavor than molasses.
At my local home brew store they have both light and dark treacle. I think treacle is any sugary syrup. Molasses is basically brown sugar syrup. Time for me to brew molasses stout again? Hmm.

[pescifish]

Trust me Lauri, it was not something I should have said out loud in public. I'm just glad nobody seems to have seen it before I deleted it.I did.

I almost posted the following Shameful Confession when I saw it, but it's been true for a long time, so I should 'fess up anyway:

"I really really wish I lived closer to wade." :hug:

[lisarea]

I shamefully confess that I assume the worst. When I'm watching TV and something gets bleeped, I will assume they said 'motherfucker' or 'cocksucker,' even if all evidence points toward 'ass' or 'damn.'

Along those same lines, wade doesn't EVEN want to know what I've decided he confessed.

But I will say: Ewwww, GROSS!

[pescifish]

I am starting to warm up to the color yellow.

[beyelzu]

I am starting to warm up to the color yellow.
eeewwww,

seriously?

[godfry n. glad]

I consider the fragrance of Johnson's baby powder to be "erotic".

gng

[Beth]

I voted for Bush.:banghead:

[Sonnet]

peer, you are my new hero for your being The Spider Hunter.

I am highly phobic of the little fuckers, and once jumped off a moving car to escape one. ... :shudder:

I let them live in my house, and gently dry them off with tissue if they fall into the shower and start to drown. I don't put them outside in the wintertime because it's too cold for them, and I call the one who lives in my bathroom Spider Buddy, and say good morning to him in a cheery baby-talk voice. :blush:

[pescifish]

I am starting to warm up to the color yellow.
eeewwww,

seriously?<valley girl>
I know.
</vg>

I'm shocked, shocked and appalled. And very very ashamed. :blush:

<confession>
It was the second mini-SUV in a bold cheeeeese yellow that did me in while on the way to work today. I tried to hate them, I did, but in the end, they were both kinda cool.
</confession>

[livius drusus]

I consider the fragrance of Johnson's baby powder to be "erotic".

That ain't right. Now classic talcum powder, otoh...

[godfry n. glad]

I consider the fragrance of Johnson's baby powder to be "erotic".

That ain't right. Now classic talcum powder, otoh...

I tol' ya my folks were philistines, didn't I? I come by it honestly. I hate to tell ya this, but they were Yankees, too. And didn't speak a stitch a' Eye-tal-iun, good nor bad.

My hometown became a pig farm. It's now a ghost-town.

godfry

[godfry n. glad]

I am starting to warm up to the color yellow.
eeewwww,

seriously?<valley girl>
I know.
</vg>

I'm shocked, shocked and appalled. And very very ashamed. :blush:

<confession>
It was the second mini-SUV in a bold cheeeeese yellow that did me in while on the way to work today. I tried to hate them, I did, but in the end, they were both kinda cool.
</confession>

NOoooooo....NOT the SUV! In the memory of Einstein, girl! Restrain yourself. Especially in public.

[Adora]

I couldn't be bothered being a good citizen and numbering all the senate papers boxes 1-50 today when I voted, so I just put a 1 in the party up the top instead. *blushesh*

[pescifish]

I recently purchased a trash can.
For $79. :bag: If I had wanted the more standard larger size, it would have cost me $129. It's pretty cool, but, seriously, the first night I had it and I heard a strange noise in the middle of the night, I figured it was my new trashcan actually taking the trash out to the dumpster.

[John the Non-Baptist]

I still buy the Archie comics digests if they're available at the grocery store.

The song "Dance With Me" by Orleans moves me more than it has a right to.

And, point of reference to a post on page 2: It wasn't Elvis Costello who said Michael J. Fox was the anti-Elvis. It was Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper.

[Ymir's blood]

And, point of reference to a post on page 2: It wasn't Elvis Costello who said Michael J. Fox was the anti-Elvis. It was Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper.
You're much to clever for us naughty types. :preach:

[Dingfod]

I'm a vile old man that lusted after Lindsay Lohan 2 days or so before she turned that magical 18 years of age.

[beyelzu]

I'm a vile old man that lusted after Lindsay Lohan 2 days or so before she turned that magical 18 years of age.
you bastard.


:wink:

[Dingfod]

I'm a vile old man that lusted after Lindsay Lohan 2 days or so before she turned that magical 18 years of age.
you bastard.That's Mr. Dirty Bastard to you.

[AspenMama]

I just remembered-- I was tossed out of a bar once.

[godfry n. glad]

I just remembered-- I was tossed out of a bar once.

Dare I ask the reason for your ejection?

godfry

[Ymir's blood]

I just remembered-- I was tossed out of a bar once.
I was thrown out of a mall music store once.

[AspenMama]

I just remembered-- I was tossed out of a bar once.

Dare I ask the reason for your ejection?

godfry
Damn, you're quick. Okay-- it was back in college-- probably in our local bar called The Library. There was this guy bugging me-- a guy I had a rotten near rape experience with a few nights previous. My roomate's boyfriend, also a friend of mine was not too pleased with this guy. So, when I point out that this guy at the bar was the same guy from before-- my friend leaped out of his chair and slammed into the guy as he was leaning in towards me and I was pretending he wasn't there. I remember bawling and being tossed out with everyone else as the cause of this little fist fight.

[livius drusus]

I was forcibly ejected from the opening meeting of the General Assembly of the Model United Nations in The Hague. Bodily removed from the stage by a security guard, in fact.

[godfry n. glad]

I was forcibly ejected from the opening meeting of the General Assembly of the Model United Nations in The Hague. Bodily removed from the stage by a security guard, in fact.

For no good reason whatsoever? Or any reason?

godfry

[Ymir's blood]

I was forcibly ejected from the opening meeting of the General Assembly of the Model United Nations in The Hague. Bodily removed from the stage by a security guard, in fact.
Oh, like that's worse than being thrown out of a mall record store. :hmph:

[livius drusus]

For no good reason whatsoever? Or any reason?

Weeeeell... The fact that I was slamming my shoe on the podium might have had a little something to do with it. That, and the 100 or so points of personal privilege directed towards the chair. I was apparently a tad loud. :giggle:

[Dingfod]

For no good reason whatsoever? Or any reason?

Weeeeell... The fact that I was slamming my shoe on the podium might have had a little something to do with it. That, and the 100 or so points of personal privilege directed towards the chair. I was apparently a tad loud. :giggle:Imitating Kruschev?

[Goliath]

A group of my friends and I were kicked out of a Chinese restaraunt, because one of them was giving his impersonation of someone drinking a cup of fur (and no, that wasn't me. :D )

[livius drusus]

Imitating Kruschev?

Indeedly doodly. My team made me do it, I swear! I was just gonna be all peace, love and understanding but they thought my original speech was too pussy and demanded militance.

It was scary, though. My legs were shaking behind the podium and everything.

[Dingfod]

I got kicked off my high school campus once for saying "Yeah, where ARE your shoes?" to my girlfriend right after the Vice Principal accosted us in the hallway and asked "Sarah, where are your shoes?" I think he overreacted a bit.

[wade-w]

Okay-- it was back in college-- probably in our local bar called The Library.
When I was in college there was a bar about 2 blocks off campus that was also called The Library. The decor followed the same theme; all the walls and booths were lined with bookshelves, and full of books.

Many people enjoyed sending freshman over to this bar when they asked for directions to the library. It was pretty funny to watch the expressions on their faces when they first walked in.

[pescifish]

I was forcibly ejected from the opening meeting of the General Assembly of the Model United Nations in The Hague. Bodily removed from the stage by a security guard, in fact.
Oh, like that's worse than being thrown out of a mall record store. :hmph:Depends on if you were imitating the music equivalent to Kruschev!

[Ymir's blood]

I was forcibly ejected from the opening meeting of the General Assembly of the Model United Nations in The Hague. Bodily removed from the stage by a security guard, in fact.
Oh, like that's worse than being thrown out of a mall record store. :hmph:Depends on if you were imitating the music equivalent to Kruschev!
I'm no undertaker!

[Ensign Steve]

I think liv was just practicing for when she makes it into the real UN.

[livius drusus]

Man. That would be so cool. :inlove:

[Beth]

Yes it would! :)

[Megatron]

Hmm, let's see... where to start?

When I'm new to a forum, I have a tendency to resurrect old threads. :nyahnyah:

I have an extroardinarily active and vivid imagination, and it took me quite a while to perfect a mannerism with which to mask the fact that I undress (well, often more than just undress... :sex: ) every attractive female I see with my eyes. There is one benefit to it - I've developed the ultimate poker face.

I like Madonna. (ahh, shaddup) :angrynana:

I improvise the strangest sexual positions sometimes, and have given myself several injuries (usually minor, but once landed in the hospital) as a result. :firstaid:

I may just be the most infamous threadkiller in the history of the intarweb. :guns: :chucks: :whip: :sling:

[beyelzu]

cops in athen's ga

have, or at least had, pictures of my naked ass.

[Dingfod]

I may just be the most infamous threadkiller in the history of the intarweb. :guns: :chucks: :whip: :sling:Wannabe! :D

[Megatron]

Bah, I've got over 2,000 kills to my name. For at least a couple hundred of them, go dig through the II archives. :winner:

I never post (and have probably never posted, at least that I can remember) anything with any useful content whatsoever. I am 100% pure perversion, diversion, subversion, and (bad) comic relief. :pimp:

[Dingfod]

I don't see how someone could post anything less useful than the stuff I insert. Even if my posts don't kill a thread, they're invisible or something because nobody responds.

[Megatron]

I don't see how someone could post anything less useful than the stuff I insert. Even if my posts don't kill a thread, they're invisible or something because nobody responds.

*doesn't respond* :lalala:

(And another confession... I am a sarcastic ASS. :woopdedo: )

[Godless Dave]

"Alien Clones" is easier on a slow PC.

[Megatron]

So is curveball.

[Nil Desperandum]

Black Mage from the original Final Fantasy.

Here is my shameful confession:

I NEVER beat Mario Bros. on NES. :blush3:

[Megatron]

Whoa, never??

Hmm... on that note, I never beat Contra without using up up down down left right left right B A start. :sad:

[Nil Desperandum]

Whoa, never??

Hmm... on that note, I never beat Contra without using up up down down left right left right B A start. :sad:
:buttkick:

[Noodlenader]

I talk to people when I'm driving, and they usually do what I want. IE "EAT MT PWN, POO-NUGGET" (which means get out of my way, asshole) and VIOLA I have the lane to myself.

I fall asleep cuddled on my Finding Nemo fleece blankie

and if there's music on in another room, I'll usually do the "Bathroom Boogie" also :)

[One for Sorrow]

Confessions:

#1: I feel somewhat guilty about reviving a thread that is so old.

#2: I'll probably go eat some more Cadbury mini eggs to make myself feel better about it.

#3: Whenever I see someone post: :fixed: I think of LadyShea and have to scroll back up to see who really made the post.

#4: I've already eaten a ton of mini eggs today.

#5: I feel :( whenever I see an old thread that pescifish had posted in (though I feel no shame for this one).

[Naru]

I fucking love those Cadbury mini-eggs, I buy enough each Easter to last the rest of the year.

[Brimshack]

I wuz fooled by the latest troll.

[erimir]

I have assignments I ought to be doing, but instead I'm doing this.

[Qingdai]

I like pie.

[viscousmemories]

I wuz fooled by the latest troll.

Every time I've been part of a forum where a young Asian person joined to "practice their English", they've been a troll. With the billions of Asians in the world I think it's actually remarkable and kind of sad. I'd love to hear a non-Western perspective once in a while.

[Gonzo]

me love you long time

[Gonzo]

Oh and I do not call people back like more than 50% of the time.

[Pinecone]

Figured Asian lady was hokey but still sad tree octopus was hokey :cryhome:

[Janet]

I have decided that Library Week is a time for indulgence and stopped watching what I eat.

[godfry n. glad]

I have decided that Library Week is a time for indulgence and stopped watching what I eat.

A sinner after my own heart. Corndogs all 'round!

[lisarea]

I have decided that Library Week is a time for indulgence and stopped watching what I eat.

YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT OR ELSE YOU MIGHT EAT A BUG BY ACCIDENT.

Besides, every week is library! week.

lolbrary

[godfry n. glad]

I'm a library worker and I didn't even know it was National Library Week.

Hey...It's even National Library Workers Day! (http://www.ala-apa.org/about/nlwd.html) and I didn't get any bouquet of flowers, dammit.

I'm just a mushroom...They keep me in the dark and feed me bullshit.

[wei yau]

I have imagined several FF posters in carnal situations.

[Chris Porter]

Yikes.

[Qingdai]

I have imagined several FF posters in carnal situations.

Kind of hard not to, when they keep suggesting it.

[irukandji]

i do not own a cell phone


or an ipod


or a digital camera


and i dont know anything
about any game systems
except for the random
references i hear from
my kids (please! no quizzes!
i wasnt really listening!)

[Dingfod]

I have imagined several FF posters in carnal situations.You still can't have my beer.

[Doctor X]

I sometimes do not wait for them to die before I start shoveling the dirt over them.

--J.D.

[Lauri D]

Confessions:

#1: I feel somewhat guilty about reviving a thread that is so old.

#2: I'll probably go eat some more Cadbury mini eggs to make myself feel better about it.

#3: Whenever I see someone post: :fixed: I think of LadyShea and have to scroll back up to see who really made the post.

#4: I've already eaten a ton of mini eggs today.

#5: I feel :( whenever I see an old thread that pescifish had posted in (though I feel no shame for this one).

Don't feel shame and for the love of cheese do not feel guilty. You are a lovely woman. Don't forget it.