Posting on discussion boards

[HelenM]

I had coffee with a friend yesterday that I know a number of Real Life ways and when I mentioned online discussion boards (she knows I post on them) she said "So, these people [the people who post, that is] post on them every day, do they?"

I didn't know what to say then (for once :D); that rather threw me. :eek:

I did say "yes", anyhow.

Helen

[beyelzu]

my friends that also post online understand when I talk about a particular discussion, the ones that dont post just stare at me vacantly, which isnt all that surprising since my friends are about as eclectic a group as the people here at ff.

[Beth]

I do not talk to people much about my online activities. They think I'm off that I post on discussion boards. Some think that conversing with so many people in the world is putting my family in danger, some think I am a pathetic geek for having online friends, and others are just baffled at my fascination with them. I have made the mistake to introduce a couple family members to some of my favorite boards that I haunt. I think it made them wonder about my sanity. Especially when they saw my post counts. -I'm a fast typer, ..what can I say?;)

I do not post every day, but if I have time, I often read posts daily.

But yes, it is hard to explain posting on message boards. I usually keep all that private.

[Godless Dave]

I mostly post while I'm at work. I have web access and not much work to do. Occasionally I read and post from home, but not often. No offense, you guys.

[livius drusus]

Except for one techie friend of mine, everyone else I know pretty much nods and grunts, eyes helplessly glazed over, whenever I talk about anything board-related. Once I got a friend interested in some drama, but then again, we were high at the time so the paint on the walls was pretty amusing too.

[xorbie]

Well I pointed my friends to the formal debates I had on II, but otherwise I haven't really said much. The only time I bring it up is when I'm referring to a news story or something I picked up there.

Although I did get my ex-roomie (roomie at the time) to join, and he posts from time to time.

[wildernesse]

People think it's even stranger that you meet up with people from online. I don't--I met some infidels before I even started posting, and I still didn't think it was strange. We especially try not to mention to our parents things like RA flying out a day early and spending the night with people we've never met IRL, like he did this summer on a trip. They're a little more understanding of him meeting up with people he collaborates with online in his "professional" capacity.

Anywho, my family knows I post on boards--but as a recent email from my mother about a link to Infidels from my blog proved--they don't realize where I post.

[Shake]

I mostly post while I'm at work. I have web access and not much work to do. Occasionally I read and post from home, but not often. No offense, you guys.
Ditto that.

Also, like Beth I rarely actually mention that I heard about/read XYZ on a message board. I keep things vague like, "I read somewhere that ...," or "Someone I was having a discussion with said ... ."

Although, I must admit to telling some people about the, "If you have set yourself on fire..." thread at IIDB. But then, who didn't?

[Godless Dave]

I talk about the boards to my GF. She's an online-type person and understands, and is on some Renaissance Festival mailing lists.

[Dingfod]

I almost always refer to "my online friends" when I state where I learned something pertinent to a discussion. Since I don't really have any friends IRL, you're all I got.

I have actually met some of the people I've met online both Infidels and in my motorcycle interest group. In fact, I'm going for a motorcycle ride Saturday up into southwest Missouri, meeting up with three or four people from that group for lunch and a ride through the Ozarks.

[viscousmemories]

Discussion and debate has always been one of my favorite things to do, and growing up in a college town I had a lot of opportunities to do it. As I've said before sitting around a bong philosophizing was a staple of my youth. Since I found IIDB my interest in reading, writing and learning has increased exponentially. So yes, I am posting in forums not only every day, but most of every day.

I have exactly two friends who I didn't meet online. One is my roomate and another is an ex-girlfriend (of sorts) that I talk to on the phone for an hour or two every couple of weeks. I have minimal contact with my family - mostly involving the occasional e-mail exchange with a sibling and periodic chats with one of two of my nieces via IM.

In any case I actually believe my online social life is more rich than any physical social life I've ever had - which typically amounted to getting drunk and playing pool in a loud, dingy and smoky bar - because I'm actually conscious through it and I almost never wake up thinking I would give anything to undo what I did the night before.

[JoeP]

- because I'm actually conscious through it and I almost never wake up thinking I would give anything to undo what I did the night before.
:D :D and maybe because you do have the power to go back and edit what you said last night? :innocent:

[freemonkey]

I don't really talk about it much. I sometimes say "someone I "know" online said...." or "my online friend from....." . I thought my husband would be unhappy about meeting Scotty, but he was cool with it. I might send links to interesting things on IIDB, just I do any other site that has good and/or helpful info. Because its such a large community I don't feel a risk of being identified.

Many people I know IRL might be surprised that I have online friends. But then again, you never know what other people do in their own homes. Right? So maybe they wouldn't be surprised.

[Nil Desperandum]

Being a part of the younger generation, we are all post-whores. We thrive off of message boards. It is a great way to disseminate information. I've gotten my woman to register @ II, and I read from time-to-time, but I cannot get there from work, which was a very sad day for me indeed. :(

So, I have this and HH to frequent.

Any other boards I could possibly get away with?

[Roland98]

Being a part of the younger generation, we are all post-whores. We thrive off of message boards.

Wait, what is the "younger generation?" :) I guess I'm too old for that, but even my little brother just doesn't quite "get" message boards. And I checked in at II a few times when I was staying with some college friends in D.C. in May; they were rather mystified.

[pescifish]

Yeah, the teens and college age kids I know seem to do some IMing for coordination purposes (on their phones, too) with other kids they know in the area, but not bulletin boards or to establish long distance sort of friendships. Frankly, they don't have time to sit and stare at their computers that much; they are mostly out running around with their friends or working or some other activity (sports or clubs).

[Beth]

Yes, none of the the 17-24 year ols that I know frequent message boards. Well, my sister posts on the Disturbed site occaisionally. but very infrequently.

[JoeP]

Yes, none of the the 17-24 year ols that I know frequent message boards. Well, my sister posts on the Disturbed site occaisionally. but very infrequently.
This concept astonished me - but it's so obviously true (although I'd say there are a lot of 20yo+ people on boards). This is why the various boards are dominated by 13-15 years olds and cynical adults. [/gross generalisation]

[Shake]

So what does this all say about those of us 30yo+ folks who are now hooked?

[Godless Dave]

We're geeks. Or have boring jobs.

Actually, I like having people to talk to, I like communicating in writing, and I like reading well-written stuff, even if it's just jokes, funny anecdotes, and discussions of TV shows.

[JoeP]

We don't have lives ... at least that would be the view of the 17-24yos and other offline, net-illiterate, computer-phobic losers who can't understand the nature of online interaction.

Digressing. "Net-illiterate"? "Digerati" has been used to describe the elite of net- and computer-literate people, so how about undigerate? Innumerate? That's something else. Net-averse? When is a net not a net? When it's a piece of string. (Which reminds me of a joke.) So let's call the net-illiterates "strings".

Digressing 2. John Suler describes the psychology of cyberspace (http://www.rider.edu/~suler/psycyber/psycyber.html) and somewhere claims that interacting on the net, not necessarily in text-based boards but in MUDs, RPGs, etc involves a different state of consciousness such as you get from drugs, sex, athletics, etc. (Liv, Adora, Scotty, freemonkey, read the psychology of avatars (http://www.rider.edu/~suler/psycyber/psyav.html).)

[wildernesse]

We don't have lives ... at least that would be the view of the 17-24yos and other offline, net-illiterate, computer-phobic losers who can't understand the nature of online interaction.

Yeah, this would be the most common wisecrack. But, very few people have interesting or fulfilling lives--a lot of people fill their spare time with television--so why should anyone listen to them? I'd say that online interaction is much better than tv. Of course, when I'm at home I am often watching tv and online at the same time. So there.

I didn't get hooked until I had a couple of boring jobs that involved computers, so there's probably something to that idea.

But really, most of my IRL friends are in the under 30 category and aren't online very much. My little brother doesn't even have email to speak of, and it really doesn't bother him one bit.

[Beth]

The way I see it is that I am having interesting discourse with others that I cannot have with those around me. I can debate and talk politics without getting into relationship damaging real life arguments. I like TV, but I have learned more and broadened my world view more than I ever have through television by talking on discussion boards.

Also, I swear to you, I am not a stupid person, but from watching TV and reading the paper, I thought the U.S. was extremely good and doing great deeds in the world. I thought the majority of the world loved us, except for people like the Islamics who might have a religios reason to hate us. I was in for a rude awakening when I got onto an international message board and saw the way the world looked at the U.S. government. That led me to seek for the reasons why we are hated. So, I am not stupid, but I was blind.

[Dingfod]

The way I see it is that I am having interesting discourse with others that I cannot have with those around me.Here here! OR is it hear hear? Or maybe hear here? Hell, I don't know. I'm having fun though.

[wade-w]

I have no friends, so explaining my online life is not a problem there. My family understands completely. Both of my parents regularly post on discussion boards or blogs.

[xorbie]

Almost all my friends have blogs, but none seem to post to forums. It seems they see internet chatting not so much as a way to meet people, but to keep in touch with those you know. Different outlook, basically.

[Lauri D]

While it's quite true that I may well never have "discovered" discussion boards if it were not for a reeeeaaaallllyyy boring job I had several years ago, I think it's a over-generalization to say that all DBJ's (discussion board junkies ;) ) are "geeks" (and yes I realize that is not a derogatory term, nor do I think of it as such) or not social IRL.

Also, I have a bunch of friends younger than me (I'm 31, so twenty-somethings) who are extremely befuddled by the whole thing. They don't do it, they don't know anyone else who does it, and more than a few of them are only vaguely familiar with what "IM" is. So it's not strictly a "younger generation" thing, either.

[Socratoad]

I have no idea how many seventy year olds are addicted to message boards but here I am. I started on some sort of message board on excite a few years back. They were a little different then If I remember correctly. I started a board called personal philosophy which was actually about the values and experiences that have shapped your life and what moral/ethical standards you have chosen to live by. I felt pretty good when it rapidly became the largest board at excite. However after a while I began to feel burnt out by several misunderstandings and personal fueds that developed. And so one day I just quit posting. One year later I peeked and the damn thing had metamorphized into a monster, with my name still at the top.

For a few years I avoided all boards with the exception of a couple of tech boards but only for lurking purposes. A little over two months ago I had two heart attacks. I refused to go into the hospital because the creatures needed me and was in a hell of a lot of pain and also could'nt sleep very well and so somehow I stumbled upon IIDB and have racked up over two thousand posts, which is quite an accomplishment because my fingers are quite arthritic a so a garden slug could type faster.

Lisarea invited me to come over here because she was concerned about the effect of the political threads on my already damaged heart. So here I am.

And no, I do not tell all my friends about posting on message boards because that is very easy as I have pretty well become a hermit and all my creatures do'nt really seem to give damn.

[wade-w]

I have no idea how many seventy year olds are addicted to message boards but here I am.

I don't know either, but both of my parents are in your age range (Mom will be 70 in a couple of months and Dad is 68). They both post on message boards regularly.

[Socratoad]

Thanks, thats rather reassuring. I don't feel quite so much like a freak now. :D

[Beth]

Honestly, I think it would be therapeudic if more people in their seventies did in their spare time. Many women I know at that age (I used to make large dinners to feed both my family and a few isolated older women) are isolated and lonely. Just hoping for some company. I know that message boards cannot replace human contact, but they sure as hell can help keep the mind from rotting in sheer boredom and loneliness.

[Socratoad]

Hi Beth, the odd thing is that I have never felt lonely, ever. Well that is not quite true as I cannot imagine life without a animal or several to care for, cuddle, or just to mumble at. On the contrary interaction with my fellow humans soon discombobulates me. I managed to get through life in the forces, own and operate my own businesses, do volunteer work in many third world countries and so on, but somehow I always felt like I was on the verge of a huge overwhelming anxiety attack. The booze crutch helped get me through much of my younger life, although I certainly do not recommend it. Funny though I always felt perfectly at ease, in fact right in my element on a one to one basis. Luckily my second wife and I were perfect matches in that respect.

But you certainly are right on the mark when you say you wish more people in their seventies would benefit greatly by both surfing the internet and posting on message boards. From my observation many older people never really were their own person (so to speak) during their whole lives. They always have thought of themselves as someones wife/husband/mother or whatever. The problem is that life is not a painting, it is in constant flux. Spouses die or leave, and Dog help those that cling to their children for a sense of indentity, as children soon grow up and move away, as they should .... their priorities change and even their values.

And so if this old toad has any advice worth sharing it is become a person in your own right, for all too soon you will all be my age, wondering just where all the years have flown. I have seen far too many older people just give up and wither away and die because they really are incapable of perceiving that face in the mirror as an separate identity worthy of respect.

That said, I really do treasure the very many wonderful people I have met here and at IIDB

In case any of you are wondering, "just what the hell was that all about?"

Quite frankly I'm not to sure. I call such ramblings "stream of consciousness writing" or just letting the muse out of the cage :wink:

[Lauri D]

So sayeth the Toad! :bow:

Words of wisdom, methinks.