Have a good weekend

[wei yau]

I sincerely want to thank all of you for making my week. This place is fabulous and I'm so glad I found it. Took a look at my posting record, and this weekend is just what I needed. I've been posting way too much here.

Don't want to wear our my welcome.

So, I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend. I'll be visited by my best friend (stood as my best man) and his new girlfriend (it looks serious this time, I'm keeping my fingers crossed) this weekend.

I'll be back on Monday, when I'm supposed to be working.

Have a great weekend!

yes, this is a shameless effort on my part to have posts addressed to me when I return...so that I can feel special...although, I got a feeling that some of you heartless jerks are going to deliberately avoid responding just to make me feel about as big as this font...jerks

[livius drusus]

Oh poopie... Weekends tend to be slow anyway, and now you're going to be gone? There's no justice, I tell ya. None at all.

I'm only partly kidding there, too. I just could not be happier that you've set up camp here. Somebody's gotta overtake my post count, after all, and if your averages hold up, it's only a matter of time.

Have a fantastic weekend with your friend. Cook well and come back to tell us all about it (particularly if you make that roast chicken you teased us with in the toot your own horn thread).

:glomp2:

[Dingfod]

Even worse, I'm on day shift all weekend, working the Gulf Coast desk. And we still have half of the platforms shut in because of Ivan. Oops, I posted that when I wasn't finished. This means I'll have long boring days tomorrow and Sunday and can post enough to make up for anyone that is missing. Too bad for all of you. Mwahahaha!

[viscousmemories]

Welcome back, Eldar. You were genuinely missed.

True the weekend hasn't even started yet, but I can see the future. :D

I'm as glad as livius that you stumbled on this place and have found it welcoming, and I can't wait to page through all your creative evasions of work next week. :yup:

[livius drusus]

He's baaaaaaack. Yay! Welcome home, eldar. Did you have fun?

[wei yau]

Sadly, it was a lousy weekend.

My friend and his new girlfriend arrived late on Friday night. They were delayed because his mother was not feeling well and he took her to the doctor. All day Saturday he tried reaching her to see if she was alright. Finally, on Saturday evening he asked a friend to go to his mother's house and check in on her. After calling the police to break into the house, they found his mother in bed.

She had died of a heart attack sometime on Friday.

My friend and his girlfriend rushed back to NYC on Saturday night.

He lost his father many years ago. He has no siblings. He and his mother were rather isolated from the extended family. I'm so glad he has girlfriend right now. She's a wonderful person and he could use the support.

I wish I could be there, but I need to wrap up some things at work before I can go.

My heart breaks for him, because I know he's feeling guilty. He's feeling guilty for leaving her at home. He's feeling guilty for not taking her to the hospital. He's feeling guilty for being upset with his mom for making him late.

I told him that I loved him. That we're here for him. That whatever he needs, all he has to do is ask.

I told him that at times like this, all our uncharitable thoughts come back to us and make us feel like shit. That's natural and its okay to go with it for a little while. But, eventually he has to realize he's a good man and he's a good son. And his mom always knew that...

I did not know his mother very well, she tended to be a recluse. I did not know her directly, but I knew her through her son. He's a good man, he's my best friend...he's my brother. His qualities as a fine human being are a testament to her as a mother.

[SharonDee]

I'm sorry to hear that about your friend's mother, eldar. But from reading this I see your friend has a very good friend in you. Your advice to him was spot on.

My very best wishes to you both during this difficult time.

[Ex-zombie]

I never know what to say.

Eldar, you and your friend have my sympathy.

[livius drusus]

Oh, eldar, that's just awful. I'm so sorry. :(

[viscousmemories]

I'm sorry too, eldar. :( I agree with Sharon that he's lucky to have a friend like you.

[lisarea]

Damn, I'm sorry to hear that.

It's going to be rough on your friend for a while, but I'll concur with everyone else that he's lucky to have you for a friend right now.

[wade-w]

My heart breaks for him, because I know he's feeling guilty. He's feeling guilty for leaving her at home. He's feeling guilty for not taking her to the hospital. He's feeling guilty for being upset with his mom for making him late.


His being there may or may not have helped. Since he can't know one way or the other, there's no use in beating himself up over it when his presence may not have made any difference. He did take her to the doctor. Who is to say that the doctors at an emergency room would have seen more than the doctor she did see?

I told him that I loved him. That we're here for him. That whatever he needs, all he has to do is ask.

I told him that at times like this, all our uncharitable thoughts come back to us and make us feel like shit. That's natural and its okay to go with it for a little while. But, eventually he has to realize he's a good man and he's a good son. And his mom always knew that...


Great advice, eldar. Unfortunately, at times like these such advice is often ignored. But it still needs to be said. You're a good friend.

[wei yau]

Thanks to all of you for the kinds words and wonderful support...it means a lot to me.

I'll be leaving for NYC on Wednesday most likely. The funeral will be on Thursday.

There are other things involves that don't seem as important right now. His mother did not tell him about her heart condition, though she'd had it for five years. She was uninsured and that played a huge factor in the amount of medical attention she sought.

I won't be posting much, as you all might imagine. On top of all this, I've been stricken by some kind of cold/flu for the last two weeks. I'm finally going to see a doctor today, though I'm sure all he'll say is that there's nothing he can do...rest...plenty of fluids...etc.

Thanks again for the support, I truly appreciate it.

[livius drusus]

I hope you're feeling better today, eldar. What did the doctor say? Flying and colds just do not go well together. Hopefully you'll be able to get some symptom relief before Wednesday.

Take care of yourself and your friend, please. :hug:

[wei yau]

Luckily, I'll be driving, not flying.

The doctor tells me that the cold left me vulnerable to a bacterial infection, which I got...right up my sinuses.

I'm on amoxicillin now and taking a decongestant and feeling much better. I'll be leaving for NYC tomorrow.

Thanks for your concern, between the sinusitis, my friend's loss, job pressures, concerns about my father's help and a whole host of other crap, it's beginning to feel a little overwhelming.

And now, I got infected by some bloody adware....I think I'll open a thread in Computers and Technology for advice.

[livius drusus]

Luckily, I'll be driving, not flying.

That's much better. Is your family coming with you?

The doctor tells me that the cold left me vulnerable to a bacterial infection, which I got...right up my sinuses.

Ugh. Man, when it rains it pours. (*physically restrains herself from making unseemly phlegm showers joke*) (*fails*)

I'm on amoxicillin now and taking a decongestant and feeling much better. I'll be leaving for NYC tomorrow.

This is good. Plus the fluids and plenty of rest, of course.

Thanks for your concern, between the sinusitis, my friend's loss, job pressures, concerns about my father's help and a whole host of other crap, it's beginning to feel a little overwhelming.

You're not alone, though, so spread some of that crap out. You've got a strong support network in your immediate family and friends, and of course, you've got this ship of fools ready and willing to take anything you feel the need to dish out.

And now, I got infected by some bloody adware....I think I'll open a thread in Computers and Technology for advice.

I suggest you start by downloading Spybot 1.3 (http://www.majorgeeks.com/download2471.html), then check out this thread (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=606&page=1&pp=25) for a bunch more ideas. :)

[wei yau]

That's much better. Is your family coming with you?

Yes, he's is a very good friend to both my wife and myself. My wife loves him dearly. She offered to take in his mother's dog, which was a charitable gesture that I had overlooked.

Yesterday was our sixth-anniversary. With all that's been going on, we didn't do anything to celebrate. Although, we did find a quiet moment to hold each other to share and acknowledge a love that does need to be spoken.

You're not alone, though, so spread some of that crap out. You've got a strong support network in your immediate family and friends, and of course, you've got this ship of fools ready and willing to take anything you feel the need to dish out.

Luckily, my mom just called to tell me that my dad does not have diabetic retinopathy and will not require surgery. That's a major relief.

I suggest you start by downloading Spybot 1.3 (http://www.majorgeeks.com/download2471.html), then check out this thread (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=606&page=1&pp=25) for a bunch more ideas. :)

I've been perusing that thread and have initiated the download of Spybot 1.3. Thanks so much. I didn't even get infected because of surfing something exciting like porn. Instead, it was surfing for some stuff on Miracleman (or Marvelman)...a friggin' superhero. I'm such a geek.

[livius drusus]

You're back! How was the funeral, eldar? How is your friend coping?

[wei yau]

Thank you for asking, liv.

My friend is coping as well as could be expected. On the one hand, it was sad to see just how isolated he and his mother were from the extended family. He's feeling very alone. On the other hand, there was a tremendous showing of support from his friends. The few members of his family that did attend the services remarked how his friends were as much family as any blood relation. I'm sure he is very appreciative of that fact.

Still, there's something to be said for those blood bonds. Even though he has the full support and love of his friends, he still feels something his missing without a larger network of actual family members.

I don't think he's yet had enough time to himself to fully process his grief. That will come with time. For now, he's alright and for the future, he'll always have our love and support to get him through the tough times.

[livius drusus]

How is it that he and his mother became so alienated from the extended family? Was it just circumstances or was there some horrible scandal or fight or something?

It's a very good thing that he has his hand-picked family there for him, no question about it, but there are memories and connections in blood ties that can't be replaced even by the closest of friends. I hope he recovers well.

So do you have a new dog now? You mentioned your wife offered to take in his mother's dog, but I don't know if he took you up on the offer.

[wei yau]

It's weird, as close as I am to him, I know little of his family. I don't want to tell too many tales out of school, but suffice it to say that his family has become isolated due to factors both internal and external.

Also, I've come to realize that some families simply aren't close. It's becoming increasingly clear that my extended family has degenerated into a group of strangers with the same last name. I'm just glad that my immediate family is much closer.

No extra dog. He hasn't yet decided what he wants to do with his mother's pets.