Well this is just great...I've got bird flu.

[ChuckF]

:sirens: Stop what you are doing to hear me whine. And you will like it. :sirens:

Last week, the H5N1 virus was found in a dead duck near the Swiss border. Two short days later, I began exhibiting a series of disturbing symptoms, including runny nose, cough, congestion, sore throat, and worst of all...a very light fever.

The only rational, scientific conclusion is inescable. I have the ol' avian flu. :goose: I must say, it really is as bad as it's cracked up to be. I slept for 12 hours last night trying to beat this, and I'm still tired this morning. I'm drinking lots of water and everything, but this bird flu thing is no walk in the park. What they don't tell you about the avian flu is that it can cause you to have a mild headache. The kind that's right behind your eyes.

Anyway, expect to hear more about this on the news soon. I've decided to come in to work despite the bird flu and all. I figure it's only a matter of time until everyone else gets it anyway. But if I don't feel better, I may have to go home early this afternoon. Damn avian flu!

[Petra]

I've got it, too, Chuck. Throat feels like a rasp, head hurts, eyes hurt, very chesty cough, slight fever, sleepy all the time and just generally feeling beaky. I've had it for two days now, and I'm beginning to realise my days are numbered. But, we must try to nest in peace, Chuck. And it might be a good idea to go see a quack. Even if it's just to get put down. :verysick:

[Carnivale Ed]

How ironic would it be if the cure for bird flu was a good old-fashioned bowl of chicken soup?

[livius drusus]

The French were overdue for a cull anyway.

[Veritas]

Can I have your stuff when you die?

[ChuckF]

I've got it, too, Chuck.
I think that officially qualifies this as a global pandemic :loseit:
Can I have your stuff when you die?
Yeah, sure. Enjoy it. Until you die of bird flu.

[JoeP]

It's definitely spreading. Be on the alert:

The Center for Disease Control has released a list of
symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the
following, please seek medical treatment immediately:

1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to crap on someone's windshield.

[Petra]

I think that officially qualifies this as a global pandemic :loseit:


Definitely. My flatmate is feeling it too today. And I feel worse than yesterday. I even have to keep fighting the urge to crap on my windshield. But I don't know whether to blame birdflu or JoeP for that. :sadcheer:


Meh. I'm going back to bed. I feel lousy.


See you in heaven, ChuckF. We'll be there before the week is over. :sniffle:

[Sock Puppet]

I've decided to come in to work despite the bird flu and all.
Ahem.

GO HOME!

Thank you for your attention.

[Dingfod]

Damn, I already crapped on a windscreen. I'm gonna die!!!

[Petra]

Damn, I already crapped on a windscreen. I'm gonna die!!!

You're definitely gonna die if it was on my windscreen! :glare:

[ChuckF]

Ahem.

GO HOME!

Thank you for your attention.
I'll be damned if I don't take some co-workers with me!

[Dingfod]

Damn, I already crapped on a windscreen. I'm gonna die!!!

You're definitely gonna die if it was on my windscreen! :glare:Don't worry, it was very thin and watery, I'm ill you know.

[Legs]

Chicken or Steak?
:girlthink:

I can't decided what I would rather have... The Bird Flu or Mad Cow Disease?

[Petra]

Damn, I already crapped on a windscreen. I'm gonna die!!!

You're definitely gonna die if it was on my windscreen! :glare:Don't worry, it was very thin and watery, I'm ill you know.


Ewww! Dingfod is tubgirl! :puke:

[Petra]

Chicken or Steak?
:girlthink:

I can't decided what I would rather have... The Bird Flu or Mad Cow Disease?


Eat more fish. :yup:

[Veritas]

Mad Fish Disease. :vomit:

[Legs]

:smercury: poisoning

[Petra]

Dammit, we're all going to die of madbirdmercurycowflu! :eek:

[Legs]

Dammit, we're all going to die of madbirdmercurycowflu! :eek:

It was nice knowing you, pepperspray :hug:

[Dingfod]

Run!!! We're all going to die!!!



/I guess we had it coming.
//We all got it coming, kid.
///Eastwood is the coolest

[livius drusus]

My tummy hurts. :dropdead:

[ChuckF]

My tummy hurts. :dropdead:
Relax, it's probably just ebola.

[Legs]

:rimshot:

[livius drusus]

My tummy hurts. :dropdead:
Relax, it's probably just ebola. You are.

[livius drusus]

Hey, are all y'all's coughs really dry and painful? Because I seem to be developing one of those. :glare:

[Beth]

Aw:(, I'm sorry. TheraFlu seems to work well with me, but it tastes icky.

[livius drusus]

I've been able to choke down the apple cider flavour of TF, but generally speaking I stick with the even more gross tasting but much more sure to knock me out Quil family.

[Beth]

Hehe. I can only take the Quil caplets.

[livius drusus]

Those caplets are a godsend, it's true. If only they were a leetle smaller they would make the drinking Quil totally obsolete.

[Crumb]

:( Zicam is supposed to shorten the intensity and duration.

[livius drusus]

Hmm... I see they have a "cough mist". That sounds very appealing to me right now. I feel like I swallowed sand.

[cappuccino]

Argh, everybody's falling down sick, the germs are being spread all over FF. Time to start stocking up some good vitamins and chicken soup. I'm glad I brought oranges the other day.

[livius drusus]

You know, I like chicken soup, but I totally prefer tomato soup for the sickroom. And saltines. And ginger ale.

[cappuccino]

I haven't had tomato soup since I was little. Saltines and ginger ale are perfect for those nasty days spent in bed. That's the only time I can drink ginger ale because it tastes like heaven when I'm ill but I can't stand it when I'm healthy.

[ChuckF]

After a very productive round of three party talks with The Birds and the Russians, I'm happy to announce that I was able to reach a mutually beneficial agreement with our avian allies. Within this framework for moving forward, I am allowed to live. The negotiations stalled temporarily over the issue of poultry consumption concessions, but all parties worked diligently towards a timely solution to this stalemate.

I am also happy to report that I am recovering rapidly, and have only a hacking cough to report. I hope that this too will be gone by tomorrow.

[livius drusus]

Thanks for hanging the rest of us out to dry, man. Fucking French. :shakefist:

[ChuckF]

Yeah. Pretty sure the rest of you are fucked.

[Carnivale Ed]

The frogs have reached an accord with the birds?

[ChuckF]

:giggle:

[livius drusus]

It hurts, dammit!

I hate you, Chuckeh.
:cartman:

[Beth]

Steroids and inhalers got me through my last bout with a cough.
But if I start showing flu symptoms, I'm off to get Tamiflu. I think that if you start taking it within the first 48 hours of the virus slamming down on you, it will help kill the virus and end the suffering much sooner. It does work.

[ChuckF]

It hurts, dammit!

I hate you, Chuckeh.
:cartman:
That's what you get for posting in this contaminated thread. It's tainted. The taint is huge. And nasty.






...I'll leave it to our gayxperts to take it from here.

[Miisa]

This thread has given me a whopper headache. It should be quarantined.

[Crumb]

I had (and am still feeling the after effects of) one of the worst headaches of my life this morning. It lasted so long and was so intense. :(

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

My headcold is GONE! :yay:

[Dingfod]

I had (and am still feeling the after effects of) one of the worst headaches of my life this morning. It lasted so long and was so intense. :(What did you do to get rid of it, take LSD?

[Crumb]

No, but I will try that next time.

[lisarea]

Assbutts.

That's what all you guys are, in case you were wondering or anything.

A bunch of big, mean, stupid, buttassed assbutts.

[livius drusus]

lisarea's siiiiiick! lisarea's siiiiiick! :mocking: :bartmoon: :nelson: