Ever wonder?

[seebs]

So, there are tons of things I've always sort of wondered about human sexuality. And, of course, I know my own sexuality, but not necessarily other peoples'.

One of the things I've learned is that there's a lot more variance than people are normally aware of. I remember someone who once posted on a BBS that "women can't come from intercourse". I'm sure her husband really appreciated her making that post!

One of the things I wonder about is whether or not people discussing sex can really communicate. Most people know what an orgasm is. But are we all talking about the same thing? I know someone who claims to have orgasms just from reading erotica. Not jacking off, just reading. That sounds really strange, but how would I know?

There's endless debates on a variety of topics like this. So, what kinds of things have you heard that seem weird? How would you go about checking a weird claim about sexual response?

[LadyShea]

With guys, there is kinda no question whether or not an orgasm has occured. With women, orgasm is a much more subjective experience. I, myself, did not know whether or not I had orgasmed for a surprising number of years and sex partners because I simply didn't know what the hell it felt like until I experienced it. It is somewhat embarassing to admit that though I had learned to have a mild orgasm from intercourse, I did not have a clitoral orgasm, one with all the "fireworks" until my husband and I had been married over a yeaf. I actually thought everything I had read or heard about was exaggerations or bullshit written by men

I have spoken to many women who have never had an orgasm and think it's all a big scam as I did, or think they are having orgasms when they feel any kind of pleasure during sex. When I explained what happens to one girl during a REAL orgasm, she started crying because she had never had one....I bought her a vibrator.

The fact is, there is no way to verify

[wade-w]

With guys, there is kinda no question whether or not an orgasm has occured.

Even this is not true for all men. It is quite possible for some men to ejaculate without having an orgasm.

[LadyShea]

With guys, there is kinda no question whether or not an orgasm has occured.

Even this is not true for all men. It is quite possible for some men to ejaculate without having an orgasm.

Oh, I wasn't aware of that. Still, IME, most men are able to ascertain whether or not they have ever orgasmed. It seems to be a less subjective area for men.

[seebs]

FWIW, I can have orgasms without ejaculating. I've never ejaculated without an orgasm, but I've had some pretty crappy orgasms. I have occasionally had two in a row, which is weird; the first one's generally mediocre, but the second's great.

I tend to be fascinated by female sexuality, which makes me very curious about different orgasmic responses... But I'm also a very exclusive-minded person, so I don't do a lot of field work. :)

[dave_a]

So, there are tons of things I've always sort of wondered about human sexuality. And, of course, I know my own sexuality, but not necessarily other peoples'.

Well you could always read Kinsey's work on the subject, it does a good job of showing how broad a term "normal" is when it comes to human sexuality.

Then again you could just surf internet porn sites and see just how far ranging things are. Women dominating men to men dominating women. Oral sex, anal sex, regular sex, couples sex, group sex, solo sex, gay sex, bi sex, and don't even get me started on all the various fetishes from feet to scat.

One of the things I've learned is that there's a lot more variance than people are normally aware of. I remember someone who once posted on a BBS that "women can't come from intercourse". I'm sure her husband really appreciated her making that post!

I think this is a very true statement for many women.

One of the things I wonder about is whether or not people discussing sex can really communicate. Most people know what an orgasm is. But are we all talking about the same thing? I know someone who claims to have orgasms just from reading erotica. Not jacking off, just reading. That sounds really strange, but how would I know?

You wouldn't. Some men, particularly in their teens, will ejaculate in their sleep. Some women will have sex regularly all their lives and never have an orgasm. Experience varies too widely to be sure you are communicating with someone you are capable of understanding correctly.

There's endless debates on a variety of topics like this. So, what kinds of things have you heard that seem weird? How would you go about checking a weird claim about sexual response?

Honestly, after discovering the internet I don't consider anything wierd anymore. Everytime I am convinced I have encountered something wierd I find a bunch of people who will call me a prude/judgemental person because of it.

[Adora]

I remember someone who once posted on a BBS that "women can't come from intercourse". I'm sure her husband really appreciated her making that post!

A lot of women still don't. *shrugs* Sad, but true.

There's endless debates on a variety of topics like this. So, what kinds of things have you heard that seem weird?

Er, fuck, where do I start... let's see.

Cum the consistancy of chunky yoghurt. Too much female juices. Not enough female juices. People coming from just being called a certain thing. Guys not being sure whether they're circumcised or not. Nice religious ones like "I can't have premarital sex, but I can get a blow job and only the girl'll go to Hell for it because I'm not responsible for what she does." Guys orgasming but not ejcaulating because of the anti-depressant medication they're on. Oh, and the Bermuda Triangle of Sex- teh female ejaculation. Total ignorance when it comes to the clit (read GRAY'S ANATOMY people!). There is a girl I know who swears she can have an orgasm just from anal sex without anything else being touched. Oh, people having plastic surgery to make their g-spot potrude further into the vagina (this was on one of those freaky "Body Work" shows or something).

I'll come back later when I can remember some more.

[Sweetie]

Well, one that I always found kinda weird, but not so much, it's natural I guess, but I'm glad it's not me is that some women achieve orgasm just from stimulation of the nipple alone. Now, what that means is that some women have orgasms when they breastfeed. I would've been very uncomfortable with such a thing.

As far as comparisons go, do you want some examples of some of our experiences and what we consider to be this or that?

[Talulah]

Well, one that I always found kinda weird, but not so much, it's natural I guess, but I'm glad it's not me is that some women achieve orgasm just from stimulation of the nipple alone. Now, what that means is that some women have orgasms when they breastfeed. I would've been very uncomfortable with such a thing.

As far as comparisons go, do you want some examples of some of our experiences and what we consider to be this or that?

Back when I was just a wee innocent lass longing to be corrupted I read that a study was done on women who claimed to be able to come from just nipple stimulation alone. It seems they also did a fair amount of squirming in their seats and the verdict was they were stimulating their clits as well, even though they may not think so.

[Sweetie]

Lol, what a subject hey? I'm thinking to myself, am I keeping an old wives' tale stored in my brain, lol. Am I really going to talk further about breastfeeding and orgasms. :D I guess I am, ewww. :yup: :D

Nah, just ran into this. I have previously thought on the subject and it never made any sense to me because during breastfeeding, you basically don't feel anything of the sort and nothing similar to what one considers pleasurable, it just isn't there because the part of the nipple that causes the most pleasure isn't even touched.

But I guess they relate it more oxytocin that is released instead of because of nipple stimulation, which makes more sense and I learned something new.

"Do women ever get sexual sensations while they are nursing?
Because the hormones involved in lactation are the same as those involved in orgasm, it is believed that a woman could have an orgasm while breastfeeding. Karen Pryor feels that because oxytocin causes the uterus to contract that some women may misinterpret the cramping sensations as orgasmic contractions. I have asked hundreds of women if they have ever had an orgasm during nursing. Their answer, always an emphatic "No!" The most common description of sensation are those of the "warm after glow" sensation that many women experience following orgasm. Women appear to have the innate ability to separate the breast's maternal function from sexuality while they are nursing. Prolactin, the mothering hormone, gives the mother a calm, warm peaceful feeling after nursing. Also the release of oxytocin with the let-down, is responsible for the "after-glow." These sensations are quite normal. "

http://members.aol.com/davisrnclc/myhomepage/basics4.htm

[Sonnet]

Back when I was just a wee innocent lass longing to be corrupted I read that a study was done on women who claimed to be able to come from just nipple stimulation alone. It seems they also did a fair amount of squirming in their seats and the verdict was they were stimulating their clits as well, even though they may not think so.

Nope. The study was wrong. That's not the way it is. Trust me. :wave:

[Adora]

Oh, yeah, just remembered a chica I knew who swore she once had an orgasm just from sitting on a very large speaker in some danceparty in Amsterdam. *shrugs*

[Beth]

to go with the orgasmic breastfeeding posts
I never felt sexual while nursing my kids, not at all, only wonderful, warm, glowing closeness, you know, a mothering feeling. But when I did let down, it was such a wonderful relief. I was a 38G when I was fully engorged and went down to a DD after they nursed. But let down offered such a relief of pressure on me, that I would often sigh. I certainly felt nothing orgasmic, but I think what I did feel was much more satisfying and pleasurable. :)

[Sweetie]

Oh, yeah, just remembered a chica I knew who swore she once had an orgasm just from sitting on a very large speaker in some danceparty in Amsterdam. *shrugs*

Spin cycle anyone? :yup: (j/k)

I always found it weird that girls can lose their hymen just from riding horses, but it's not necessarily weird that they can orgasm from doing so. :cloud9:

[Beth]

Oh, yeah, just remembered a chica I knew who swore she once had an orgasm just from sitting on a very large speaker in some danceparty in Amsterdam. *shrugs*

Spin cycle anyone? :yup: (j/k)


I've heard those vibrating footsie thingies are rather lovely when they are sat upon, but I never tried it.:(
oh, the spin cycle's just a myth, when I was growing up, I would sit in the laundry room on top of the washer while talking on the phone. Sometimes it was going. The spin cycle did not a dern thing for me.;)

[AspenMama]

Lol, what a subject hey? I'm thinking to myself, am I keeping an old wives' tale stored in my brain, lol. Am I really going to talk further about breastfeeding and orgasms. :D I guess I am, ewww. :yup: :D

Nah, just ran into this. I have previously thought on the subject and it never made any sense to me because during breastfeeding, you basically don't feel anything of the sort and nothing similar to what one considers pleasurable, it just isn't there because the part of the nipple that causes the most pleasure isn't even touched.

Have you ever breastfed? I breastfed my first child for a year and a half and my second for nearly two years. If you are breastfeeding correctly, the baby has his/her mouth wrapped around your entire nipple leaving only a bit of pink if your nipples are large. If only the tip of the nipple is in the baby's mouth, then the baby gets very little milk, and the mother gets quite sore. When my babies were newborns, I was very engorged and quite sensitive at first. It was quite odd to feel nearly orgasmic while nursing at first-- but then you get a bit desensitized after a couple of months. And, all the literature I read back then, said that it was quite normal to have those sexual feelings from nursing.

Since I hit my 30s though, I have been able to orgasm from many things-- watching a sexy movie, reading a sexy story, being kissed on the lips or the back of my neck. So, I could be the odd one out here. However, I believe that many nursing moms do indeed experience some sexual feelings while nursing, but never in a million years would want to admit it!

[Beth]

Since I hit my 30s though, I have been able to orgasm from many things-- watching a sexy movie, reading a sexy story, being kissed on the lips or the back of my neck. So, I could be the odd one out here. However, I believe that many nursing moms do indeed experience some sexual feelings while nursing, but never in a million years would want to admit it!gosh, I am sooo jealous!

You know, I remember when I first had my son, I was panicked about something. I was so worried that since I was molested that I would, in turn, offend. I never would, but, you know, I wonder if the feelings of nursing were sexual at first and that is what started the panic. I know the feeling of terror and panic went away after a few months. By then, I had developed a near callous on my nipples from nursing (no not there now). But my mind does allow e to rember the overwhelming joy at let down from being engorged.

[SharonDee]

Since I hit my 30s though, I have been able to orgasm from many things-- watching a sexy movie, reading a sexy story, being kissed on the lips or the back of my neck.
I hate you. :glare:

[Beth]

Since I hit my 30s though, I have been able to orgasm from many things-- watching a sexy movie, reading a sexy story, being kissed on the lips or the back of my neck.
I hate you. :glare:Yes. Let us all! :sadcheer: :P

[Nil Desperandum]

Since I hit my 30s though, I have been able to orgasm from many things-- watching a sexy movie, reading a sexy story, being kissed on the lips or the back of my neck.
I hate you. :glare:
I love her, and she lives an hour North from me.

Aspen, about those Colorado Infidel meetings...

[Beth]

She's very lovely, too. Looks, personality, and, um, such luck and ability. Gee.

[Noodlenader]

Since I hit my 30s though, I have been able to orgasm from many things-- watching a sexy movie, reading a sexy story, being kissed on the lips or the back of my neck.
I hate you. :glare:
I love her, and she lives an hour North from me.

Aspen, about those Colorado Infidel meetings...\

Hi AspenMama! :ferret2:

[AspenMama]

She's very lovely, too. Looks, personality, and, um, such luck and ability. Gee.

Thanks Beth! You are so sweet to say so-- even though you hate me. :giggle:

[AspenMama]

Since I hit my 30s though, I have been able to orgasm from many things-- watching a sexy movie, reading a sexy story, being kissed on the lips or the back of my neck.
I hate you. :glare:
I love her, and she lives an hour North from me.

Aspen, about those Colorado Infidel meetings...

Yes?

[AspenMama]

Hi AspenMama! :ferret2:

Hello there!

[wade-w]

You know, I remember when I first had my son, I was panicked about something. I was so worried that since I was molested that I would, in turn, offend.

That's understandable. We're always hearing that most abusers were abused themselves. But as I'm sure you know by now, that doesn't mean that everyone who was abused will become an abuser. That you worried about it at all shows you were not going to succumb.

[AspenMama]

You know, I remember when I first had my son, I was panicked about something. I was so worried that since I was molested that I would, in turn, offend.

That's understandable. We're always hearing that most abusers were abused themselves. But as I'm sure you know by now, that doesn't mean that everyone who was abused will become an abuser. That you worried about it at all shows you were not going to succumb.

I agree. I completely understand what you are saying Beth.

[Beth]

She's very lovely, too. Looks, personality, and, um, such luck and ability. Gee.

Thanks Beth! You are so sweet to say so-- even though you hate me. :giggle:
Like the old Panteen commercial slogan,...I only hate you because you are beautiful! :P

[Beth]

You know, I remember when I first had my son, I was panicked about something. I was so worried that since I was molested that I would, in turn, offend.

That's understandable. We're always hearing that most abusers were abused themselves. But as I'm sure you know by now, that doesn't mean that everyone who was abused will become an abuser. That you worried about it at all shows you were not going to succumb.I know. Thank you.

[Adora]

We're always hearing that most abusers were abused themselves.

And yet this is one of the greatest lies about child abuse. It's simply not true.

Um, anyway, back OT, Yeah! Guys! You too can do kegel excercises. Don't ask me how, I really have no fucking clue since I don't have a penis, but I have friends who swear by it.

And yeah, kegels are fun no matter what time of the day. Heh heh heh.

[Beth]

We're always hearing that most abusers were abused themselves.

And yet this is one of the greatest lies about child abuse. It's simply not true.

Um, anyway, back OT, Yeah! Guys! You too can do kegel excercises. Don't ask me how, I really have no fucking clue since I don't have a penis, but I have friends who swear by it.

And yeah, kegels are fun no matter what time of the day. Heh heh heh.I thought us chicks do the kegals. Stop midstream while urinating. The muscle that allows you to pee and stops it is the targeted muscle.

[livius drusus]

Men have the same muscle so they can do Kegels (http://www.4-men.org/kegelexercises.html) too. It's apparently good for the prostate as well as the usual bathroom and bedroom skills. :)

[wade-w]

I thought us chicks do the kegals. Stop midstream while urinating. The muscle that allows you to pee and stops it is the targeted muscle.

Yes, and men can also stop urinating in midstream. I'd assume it's the same muscle. The most visible effect for a man is allow you to twitch your penis.

[Beth]

I thought us chicks do the kegals. Stop midstream while urinating. The muscle that allows you to pee and stops it is the targeted muscle.

Yes, and men can also stop urinating in midstream. I'd assume it's the same muscle. The effect for a man is allow you to twitch your penis.Hehe. I'm now blushing.

[godfry n. glad]

We're always hearing that most abusers were abused themselves.

And yet this is one of the greatest lies about child abuse. It's simply not true.



Well... If you've got cogent, coherent and credible supporting documentation for your assertion, I'd like to see it.

In another thread, though.

godfry

[Adora]

I heard this fact as stated by John McCarthy who runs SAFE Network in NZ, on the recent Insight programme on SBS. I trust his expertise on this fact, since the SAFE Network is a rehabilitation programme for sexual offendors that has a high success rate. Take it or leave it. *shrugs*

[seebs]

One of my studio buddies did stickers that said "I'm a tentacle monster trapped in an otaku's body". ("otaku" ~= "fan")

I did stickers that said "I'm a tentacle monster trapped in a fangirl's body", and then, below that, in smaller print, "Damn you Arnold Kegel!"

About one person in ten got the reference. You could always tell. :)

[Nil Desperandum]

Since I hit my 30s though, I have been able to orgasm from many things-- watching a sexy movie, reading a sexy story, being kissed on the lips or the back of my neck.
I hate you. :glare:
I love her, and she lives an hour North from me.

Aspen, about those Colorado Infidel meetings...

Yes?

Dinner and a movie afterwards? I have some feathers somewhere...

:snicker:

[WinAce]

I did stickers that said "I'm a tentacle monster trapped in a fangirl's body", and then, below that, in smaller print, "Damn you Arnold Kegel!"

That's horrible. But hilarious too. Good job.

[livius drusus]

The discussion on gender has been split to here (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=847).

[bobeh]

In the spirit (I think) of the OP...how many guys (here) have ever cum from non-contact stimulation alone? Perhaps I'll qualify this question - where there has been no physical stimulation for at least 5 minutes prior, and all of this when you are awake, not having a wet dream.

Me...once or twice.

[livius drusus]

That's way cool, bobeh. If I may ask, what were the circumstances? (If I may not, pretend you only ever read the first sentence and I'll get the hint all classy-like.)

[Goliath]

In the spirit (I think) of the OP...how many guys (here) have ever cum from non-contact stimulation alone? Perhaps I'll qualify this question - where there has been no physical stimulation for at least 5 minutes prior, and all of this when you are awake, not having a wet dream.



Damn...lucky bastard. :wink: :D

That's never happened to me.

[bobeh]

That's way cool, bobeh. If I may ask, what were the circumstances? (If I may not, pretend you only ever read the first sentence and I'll get the hint all classy-like.)

Probably some story I was reading or something I was watching (as in video) at the time. It was a long time ago and I don't really remember what the stimulating circumstances were.

At the other end of the spectrum though...a few years ago I was on antidepressants...and after a while of being on that particular drug it became much harder to get anything to happen. It gave me total and absolute control so as to "not" cum. Made climaxes anticlimactic for me...and sometimes the duration was even wearing on my partner although at times she did enjoy long woodiness.

From the sublime to the ridiculous I suppose. Or reverse that. Depending on your appetite for instant gratification...or if you're seeing it from a partner's point of view :innocent:

[godfry n. glad]

Nor I. Never ever; it has always taken friction. Still does.

Did I miss something?...is it just "guys", or do the other genders get to answer this too? :wink:

godfry

[Socratoad]

In the spirit (I think) of the OP...how many guys (here) have ever cum from non-contact stimulation alone? Perhaps I'll qualify this question - where there has been no physical stimulation for at least 5 minutes prior, and all of this when you are awake, not having a wet dream.

Me...once or twice.

Short answer, many times.

[Dingfod]

Me, never. In fact, on Zoloft, it took lots of serious friction. I'm on Wellbutrin now, should be better. If I took that pill that gives men multiple orgasms would I need rubber pants?

[godfry n. glad]

Me, never. In fact, on Zoloft, it took lots of serious friction. I'm on Wellbutrin now, should be better. If I took that pill that gives men multiple orgasms would I need rubber pants?

Yeah...I was warned about "erectile dysfunction" as a side-effect, but have experienced nonesuch. I've been on the Prozac over a year, now.

I still have days when I cannot keep my composure, but I've not been bereft of my buddy, Tab, when the need arose.

godfry

[Dingfod]

I didn't have any trouble at all with erectile dysfunction on Zoloft, in fact, Viagra takers would've been jealous of the hard-ons I got. I just had trouble reaching climax. I would get tired before getting there. After a while, that got old and I just lost interest in sex or masturbation.

The Wellbutrin isn't working all that well on the depression though. 75mg of Zoloft put a spring in my step that hasn't been there for a long time.

[bobeh]

I didn't have any trouble at all with erectile dysfunction on Zoloft, in fact, Viagra takers would've been jealous of the hard-ons I got. I just had trouble reaching climax. I would get tired before getting there. After a while, that got old and I just lost interest in sex or masturbation.

The Wellbutrin isn't working all that well on the depression though. 75mg of Zoloft put a spring in my step that hasn't been there for a long time.

Exactly the same with Paxil...for about 8 months got those fantastic hard-ons that would just stay there....about as long as you wanted. But it was a lot of work to cum sometimes...and it wasn't as intense when it did happen. And by the time I was on it a year I basically lost interest too...

For a while there ...could have been a porn star. Well...as far as maintaining an erection anyway.