How did you first ask someone out?

[Philosophy]

:blush2:

Well, self-explanatory...

[Beth]

How old are you? I only ask because it might help others help you with this. It seems from another thread that you are in what would be called "high school" in America.

[Philosophy]

Yeah, upper secondary school. I'm 15. :blush: (hey, i'm not too young for that, right?!)

[Dingfod]

I was 15 and flatly rejected by my first choice to accompany to Band Banquet. A close friend filled in at the last minute. Then we saw each other off and on for the next 7 or 8 months, not breaking up until finally kissing her under the mistletoe and finding out it was like kissing my sister.

[Philosophy]

I was 15 and flatly rejected by my first choice to accompany to Band Banquet. A close friend filled in at the last minute. Then we saw each other off and on for the next 7 or 8 months, not breaking up until finally kissing her under the mistletoe and finding out it was like kissing my sister.

So you have kissed your sister (as implied)? :eek:

[Dingfod]

Who hasn't at some point in their youth?

[Philosophy]

Who hasn't at some point in their youth?

Now I wish I had a brother, preferably one year older, handsome like me. :popcorn:

Seriously, kissing your sister is a bit like incest.

[Beth]

Where exactly would you plan on taking your date? Here, my first date was to the roller rink, with his parents, at 14.

[Dingfod]

But, back to how did I first ask someone out. I asked my friend Wayne, who knew Nancy from church, for her number. I called her up and asked her to the banquet in question. She was very gracious in declining, saying that she was serving at the banquet and would not be able to get out of it. So, I called up my friend Rhonda and she said yes because she was crazy about me even if I wasn't crazy about her.

[Philosophy]

Where exactly would you plan on taking your date? Here, my first date was to the roller rink, with his parents, at 14.

Whew, I'm not so sure. Perhaps a little walk around the school? Around the commercial centre just few steps away from school area?

[Philosophy]

But, back to how did I first ask someone out. I asked my friend Wayne, who knew Nancy from church, for her number. I called her up and asked her to the banquet in question. She was very gracious in declining, saying that she was serving at the banquet and would not be able to get out of it. So, I called up my friend Rhonda and she said yes because she was crazy about me even if I wasn't crazy about her.


That sounds tragic.

[D. Scarlatti]

No idea. They're always asking me.

[Legs]

:laugh: at Dingfod's story, those awkward days of youth, huh?

Philo, you are only 15? I had no idea.

I am a girl, so we didn't actually ask the boys out in high school. We instead, had to manipulate them and make it as dead easy as possible for them to do the asking.

I found that the best way to get to know someone was to participate in a club or association with them. (ie) Drama Club, Choir (yes, Catholic school) committees, school council & more. You become friends this way and one thing leads to another.

I even signed up to donate blood once, because a guy I liked was doing it too.

As an adult though, I just went ahead and asked guys out that I liked. I don't recall ever having a rejection, but a I do have a few regrets for asking out the wrong guy (for me)

[Philosophy]

No idea. They're always asking me.

Yeah, but those who've always asked me are girls.

[Dingfod]

No idea. They're always asking me.That happened a lot when I was 17 and 18.

[D. Scarlatti]

Yeah, but those who've always asked me are girls.

Haha.

[Beth]

I'd just start talking with the girl. If you guys seem to be enjoying the chat, I would ask her if she'd like to walk up to the commercial centre with you after school to get a soda. Then, you buy her a soda if she says yes. Then you guys talk. Ask her if you can walk her home, and carry her books for her...you may wanna lighten the load in your backpack for that;).

[Dingfod]

I guess I have not figured out the gender of our dear Philosophy. I suppose I am a bit slow on the uptake.

[Beth]

I guess I have not figured out the gender of our dear Philosophy. I suppose I am a bit slow on the uptake.
Now I wish I had a brother, preferably one year older, handsome like me.This makes me think male.

[ChuckF]

The trick is to do it as loudly as possible - like really yelling - directly in her face. It demonstrates confidence, and chicks dig that. Sometimes it doesn't work the first time, so you have to follow her around for an hour or six. You know, just to show her her she's special. Just remember not to stop yelling.

When deciding what exactly to yell, don't be afraid to be creative. Incorporate a dance routine if you can. Artsy is good too.

Oh, and most importantly, be totally nude.

[Dingfod]

Maybe it's sexual orientation I haven't figured out. Philosophy lamented that it was only girls asking him/her out. Either he's gay or he's not a he.

[Philosophy]

I'd just start talking with the girl. If you guys seem to be enjoying the chat, I would ask her if she'd like to walk up to the commercial centre with you after school to get a soda. Then, you buy her a soda if she says yes. Then you guys talk. Ask her if you can walk her home, and carry her books for her...you may wanna lighten the load in your backpack for that;).

Good strategy. I could certainly try that. :date:

[Dingfod]

The trick is to do it as loudly as possible - like really yelling - directly in her face. It demonstrates confidence, and chicks dig that. Sometimes it doesn't work the first time, so you have to follow her around for an hour or six. You know, just to show her her she's special. Just remember not to stop yelling.

When deciding what exactly to yell, don't be afraid to be creative. Incorporate a dance routine if you can. Artsy is good too.

Oh, and most importantly, be totally nude.Preferably with an enormous boner, that works much better that some minscule floppy thing.

[Philosophy]

Maybe it's sexual orientation I haven't figured out. Philosophy lamented that it was only girls asking him/her out. Either he's gay or he's not a he.

I'm a teenage boy.

[Philosophy]

The trick is to do it as loudly as possible - like really yelling - directly in her face. It demonstrates confidence, and chicks dig that. Sometimes it doesn't work the first time, so you have to follow her around for an hour or six. You know, just to show her her she's special. Just remember not to stop yelling.

When deciding what exactly to yell, don't be afraid to be creative. Incorporate a dance routine if you can. Artsy is good too.

Oh, and most importantly, be totally nude.Preferably with an enormous boner, that works much better that some minscule floppy thing.


:lol:

[ChuckF]

Oh, and most importantly, be totally nude.Preferably with an enormous boner, that works much better that some minscule floppy thing.


:lol:
Heh. I get that alot.

[Waluigi]

Dingfod, you're confused. D. Scarlatti said that people have always asked him out. Philosophy joked that the ones that asked him are girls, as if to imply that D. Scarlatti was being asked out by guys.

And honestly, I have no idea how I asked people out. I don't remember what I did last week, much less anything before that. I probably passed notes in class, or something lame like that. We didn't have text messaging or any such thing.

[Philosophy]

Dingfod, you're confused. D. Scarlatti said that people have always asked him out. Philosophy joked that the ones that asked him are girls, as if to imply that D. Scarlatti was being asked out by guys.

Well done! You got the subtlety! I'm glad you did. :yup:

[Beth]

The trick is to do it as loudly as possible - like really yelling - directly in her face. It demonstrates confidence, and chicks dig that. Sometimes it doesn't work the first time, so you have to follow her around for an hour or six. You know, just to show her her she's special. Just remember not to stop yelling.

When deciding what exactly to yell, don't be afraid to be creative. Incorporate a dance routine if you can. Artsy is good too.

Oh, and most importantly, be totally nude.You are so naughty to try to turn a young boy into a social outcast! :whup:
But you are rather funny. :giggle:

[seebs]

I don't think I've ever asked anyone out.

[Dingfod]

Dingfod, you're confused.This is not the first time I ever heard that, and probably won't be the last.

[Dingfod]

Maybe it's sexual orientation I haven't figured out. Philosophy lamented that it was only girls asking him/her out. Either he's gay or he's not a he.

I'm a teenage boy.So, what's wrong with girls asking you out?

[D. Scarlatti]

Well done! You got the subtlety! I'm glad you did. :yup:

Don't worry, I got it too, ya little smart ass.

Actually I have at least two amusing pursued-by-gay-men tales, one involving a pub in Hampstead and another at a gay karaoke. Some other time, maybe. (Gay karaoke is the best, by the way.)

[Philosophy]

Well done! You got the subtlety! I'm glad you did. :yup:

Don't worry, I got it too, ya little smart ass.

Actually I have at least two amusing pursued-by-gay-men tales, one involving a pub in Hampstead and another at a gay karaoke. Some other time, maybe. (Gay karaoke is the best, by the way.)

I knew you got it. That's why you 'hahaed'.

You're gay? :eek:

[D. Scarlatti]

You're gay? :eek:

If I was gay, don't you think I'd have more than two pursued-by-gay-men tales? At least, I hope I would.

[Dingfod]

You're gay? :eek:

If I was gay, don't you think I'd have more than two pursued-by-gay-men tales?I would hope so. Otherwise, you've had a pretty lean love life.

[D. Scarlatti]

Hardy har har. Everyone's a comedian.

[Philosophy]

You're gay? :eek:

If I was gay, don't you think I'd have more than two pursued-by-gay-men tales?I would hope so. Otherwise, you've had a pretty lean love life.

Are you sure?

[Dingfod]

Well, it could be that he's had exactly two long-lasting relationships. I guess.

[Philosophy]

Well, it could be that he's had exactly two long-lasting relationships. I guess.

:lol:

[D. Scarlatti]

:glare:

Not that there's anything wrong with it.

[Sweetie]

I've never asked anybody out, never had the opportunity.

My husband, when he asked me out when he was seventeen and I was fifteen, he told all our friends what he wanted to do, and left me there with him in really uncomfortable silence.

I think he said, "I was wondering if you would go out with me."

I think I shyly and uncomfortably said, "Yes." I didn't want to go out with him but I didn't want to reject him, so I just went along with it and here we are thirteen years later. Very dull. :dunno:

[Philosophy]

I've never asked anybody out, never had the opportunity.

My husband, when he asked me out when he was seventeen and I was fifteen, he told all our friends what he wanted to do, and left me there with him in really uncomfortable silence.

I think he said, "I was wondering if you would go out with me."

I think I shyly and uncomfortably said, "Yes." I didn't want to go out with him but I didn't want to reject him, so I just went along with it and here we are thirteen years later. Very dull. :dunno:

What a romantical sacrifice!!!

[Sweetie]

Yeah, I honestly hate saying no, when I'm asked to dance, when whatever. I don't like rejecting people with sincere interest which is why I said that when I go out these days, I avoid eye contact like the plague. I don't want to put myself in a position where I have to be saying "no."

Someone took my saying that as something unkind. It's not, it's a hard position for me to find myself in, always has been, I'm getting better with it though. :shrug:

[Philosophy]

Yeah, I honestly hate saying no, when I'm asked to dance, when whatever. I don't like rejecting people with sincere interest which is why I said that when I go out these days, I avoid eye contact like the plague. I don't want to put myself in a position where I have to be saying "no."

Someone took my saying that as something unkind. It's not, it's a hard position for me to find myself in.


Aww. You're such a sweetie. :aww:

[Philosophy]

I'm surprised that your first date turned into a sound marriage, btw. Rare this is.

[Sweetie]

I'm surprised that your first date turned into a sound marriage, btw. Rare this is.

I find it odd, but the fact of the matter is, in many cases, given certain criteria:

a) familiarity breeds affection
b) affection breeds love
c) you can learn to love

I'm just an adaptable person, so I believe I could have a sound marriage with many people.

To find one that I find preferable, however, right off the bat? Fact is, I have nothing to compare it to, this relationship as opposed to others.

We were both raised well, share similar values, fairly patient and compatible, unselfish, have the kids to think about, have a strong attachment, we have become family to each other so ending would be like cutting off one of our arms, especially if we had to end badly with no communication so. :shrug:

Quite frankly, even fairly early in the relationship, I wanted to end but then consider, that would be an even worse rejection than simply saying no at first so, I wanted to do that even less to him after the fact of the relationship than before it and to be perfectly honest, he felt the same way about doing that to me, so we were two people who didn't want to break the other's heart so, we stayed together, a mutual sacrifice.

Today, divorce is just an intolerable thought, my husband would suffer very badly, and I'm not sure about me, to tell the truth. Don't know how I'd handle losing my best friend, my lover, the father of my lovely children, my high school sweetheart, his family, and all that in one fell swoop.

Don't know what else to say about it.

We have nothing in common. If I could go back before I loved him, I might do things differently but then I look at us now, and really, don't know what to say. What would I change? I don't know, we are as we are.

Now, I'm the type of girl who when it comes to emotional pain, I would put the knife in your hand, tighten your hand around it, hold it to my heart and do the pushing for you if that is what is best for the relationship as opposed to having to endure it silently, because no one wants to declare an end. It's oftentimes better that way, and sometimes not. Bite the bullet, take the bull by the horns, cauterize the wound, staunch the bloodflow, so to speak. Do what needs to be done, save you both a lot of unnecessary heartache. I'm not a sweetie see, I'm a monster because I believe you have to hurt people sometimes, you have to hurt yourself sometimes. :dunno:


Some thoughts and experience. Advice and maybe some wisdom in there for you for the future, Philosophy, when you find a girl who can't resist your good nature. :wink:

[Johnny Pneumatic]

We were both in Gifted and Talented class at school and I finally told her I liked her, while in class. This was when I was in the Sixth Grade. I'd had a HUGE crush on her since I was in the Fourth. She turned me down, but at least I asked. That was the last time I asked until I was 19, almost 20, which was in Photography class at college.

[godfry n. glad]

I got her telephone number from a mutual friend and called and asked if she'd like to go to the Association concert with me. Her name was Musette. I was 15. My older brother drove us.

[erimir]

I'm not sure that Philosophy is joking about it being unfortunate that girls ask him out (as opposed to boys).

:P

[Johnny Pneumatic]

Hey, welcome back, erimir; long time no see. :wave:

[godfry n. glad]

I got her telephone number from a mutual friend and called and asked if she'd like to go to the Association concert with me. Her name was Musette. I was 15. My older brother drove us.

I asked her out again, and she told me I was "too nice".

???

(that left a scar)

[Tanda]

We were both raised well, share similar values, fairly patient and compatible, unselfish, have the kids to think about, have a strong attachment, we have become family to each other so ending would be like cutting off one of our arms, especially if we had to end badly with no communication so. :shrug: ...I could really see your heart in that post, Sweetie. This is something that you've put a lot of thought into and it must have felt good to get all of that out. It is an impressive story, though, considering how most marriages these days end up.

[Tanda]

I asked her out again, and she told me I was "too nice".

???

(that left a scar)
I once told a boy something similar to that. Looking back I realize that, being so young, I had no interest in a serious romantic relationship with a boy (in fact it terrified me). Perhaps she knew that you were a good catch and it intimidated her. :yup:

[Philosophy]

I'm not sure that Philosophy is joking about it being unfortunate that girls ask him out (as opposed to boys).

:P

Well, they've asked me too much it becomes just plain annoying. You should queer-bash them all, really.

[pescifish]

My first b-friend did all sorts of things before he asked me out. We were your age and he and I got to know each other in our classes and then he started writing me notes, leaving a rose or wildflowers, a book or some cool rock he found while hiking. We'd talk on the phone and during breaks and after school. Eventually he asked me if I'd go steady with him; I said yes. It wasn't until after that that we went out together and he surprised me with a kiss during my after-school track practice and his gymnastics.

[viscousmemories]

The first time was easy for me because someone told me the girl was interested first. I spent some time Googling her last night (inspired by this thread) but she seems to have changed her very unique name or fallen off the Earth.

[California Tanker]

In college. "Do you want to go get a drink?" after the rifle club staff meeting.
I then managed to spill said drink on self. However, it still worked out as I had a driver's license and access to a car, which is rare in college in Ireland.

NTM

[godfry n. glad]

In college. "Do you want to go get a drink?" after the rifle club staff meeting.
I then managed to spill said drink on self. However, it still worked out as I had a driver's license and access to a car, which is rare in college in Ireland.

NTM

Ooooo... That must have made for popularity. :nudge:

[erimir]

Well, they've asked me too much it becomes just plain annoying. You should queer-bash them all, really.
Huh? :scratch:

I don't really see how "queer-bash" makes any sense there.

[California Tanker]

Ooooo... That must have made for popularity. :nudge:

It had its uses. I recall going to a shooting competition in Limerick, most people took the train, but as I had a car I had rifle transport duty. I picked up two hitchhikers, one lass hopped in the front seat, the other one in the back, next to a half-dozen rifles. The one in front was quite chatty, the lass in the back never said a word for the whole trip... :-)

NTM

[ms_ann_thrope]

I recall going to a shooting competition in Limerick, most people took the train, but as I had a car I had rifle transport duty. I picked up two hitchhikers, one lass hopped in the front seat, the other one in the back, next to a half-dozen rifles. The one in front was quite chatty, the lass in the back never said a word for the whole trip... :-):laugh: Poor thing, probably thought you were a serial killer or something. Interesting, though, you are allowed to transport guns in the back seat of a car in Ireland? Or did you have a special note with permission or something? I would've thought that they would need to be secured in the trunk...

[California Tanker]

I seem to recall I needed a transport order from the local Garda station. Basically a few days earlier, I went to the station, said "I'll be transporting these rifles to this competition, here are the serial numbers", he signed the form, handed it to me, and I went on my merry way.
The rifles didn't fit in the boot. The car was a Ford Fiesta. It kindof depresses me that firearms laws in Ireland are now looser than in my part of California. It's one of the reasons I emigrated.

But we're getting off topic. The datee was a rifle club range officer, like myself.

NTM

[Carnivale Ed]

The first 'date' I went on, I didn't have to do the asking, I had two girls at work fighting over me - both named Rebecca. I can only assume it was my penchant for singing the Sesame Street theme song over the headsets that made them swoon. After carefully considering each girl's pros and cons, I went out with the one with the bigger tits. Yeah, I was a charmer.

[Veritas]

Go out with me or I cut your face!

[Adam]

You'd be surprised how often that one works.

Not that I'd know or anything... :hide:

[Carnivale Ed]

Go out with me or I cut your face!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, first things first. What's your sign?

[TomJoe]

No idea. They're always asking me.

That's how I found myself with my girlfriend.

[Veritas]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, first things first. What's your sign?

No Entry

[Sweetie]

I could really see your heart in that post, Sweetie. This is something that you've put a lot of thought into and it must have felt good to get all of that out. It is an impressive story, though, considering how most marriages these days end up.

Bah, the boy is quite pleased to be married to a Christian. He's all like, "I got you by the conscience babe."

Him ---> :haha: :brooding: <--- Me

And I'm all like, I could cheat on you. :glare: I could......maybe. :hmph:

Asshat. :brooding:

:P

[godfry n. glad]

Go out with me or I cut your face!

Yeah... That goes well with "The quickest way to a man's heart is through the solar plexus. With a sharp knife."

[Angakuk]

Her name was Barta. We were in sixth grade (12 yrs. old). I asked her if she wanted to meet me at the city library and work on a research project together. I don't recall the subject. The relationship went nowhere. Not like I had any idea of where it ought to go anyway. Maybe it started out on too intellectual a footing. Should have made it more physical from the start and asked her if she wanted to wrestle or something.

[Carnivale Ed]

No Entry
I'm sensing some intimacy issues ...

[Johnny Pneumatic]

I'm sensing some intimacy issues ...

That's all you notice? I'm surprised scarletpeaches hasn't violently screamed, "You love me, I know it!".

[BDS]

Her name was Barta. We were in sixth grade (12 yrs. old). I asked her if she wanted to meet me at the city library and work on a research project together. I don't recall the subject. The relationship went nowhere. Not like I had any idea of where it ought to go anyway. Maybe it started out on too intellectual a footing. Should have made it more physical from the start and asked her if she wanted to wrestle or something.

Or maybe she thought (silly her!) that this elaborate tete a tete at the library wasn't a "date" at all. Maybe she confused it with working on a research project.

[Angakuk]

Or maybe she thought (silly her!) that this elaborate tete a tete at the library wasn't a "date" at all. Maybe she confused it with working on a research project.
That explanation had occurred to me. I know that I have been on the other end of that stick, where I didn't consider a particular activity a date and later realized that the woman did consider it to be such. Alas for all the missed opportunities of life.

[Megatron]

Heh, we were both fucking plowed, and I asked her if she'd like to fuck me. Turns out she liked me, but was nervous as shit about it (I have no idea why, I've never been that kind of person to make people nervous) ... so yeah, we go and fuck like animals and next thing you know we're dating

[peepnklown]

I brought up the subject of planning on going to an amusement park on Halloween with a group of friends, made sure to hype it up and as they were discussing going, I turned to the girl I wanted to take and asked if she would like to go with me, she said yes.

[Will]

LOL... this thread's question brings back some scary memories for sure. Oh, the adrenaline when I aked a gal to "go steady" -- which is what I said. I was 15, and in a small town, so people didn't "date" much.

She was a girl from down the road, and I really really liked her... I was sooooo frightened, but my hormones dictated my actions much to the horror of my intellect. I believe that I went to the local flower shop, and purchased a single red rose. I arranged to meet her during a mutual "bathroom break" during class. (no, we didn't potty together, we took breaks from class to see eachother because we liked eachother.)

We went to the locker-bay, and I gave her the rose, and asked her to "go steady" with me, and if she'd go to the dance with me. I thought I was going to drop dead my heart was beating so quickly. She said yes -- looking back, it doesn't surprise me, but I've got some experience now... Oh yeah, she ripped my heart out 6 months later, but we're 30 now, and still best friends and in regular contact.

To Philopsophy (if he's still viewing this thread, or it's still relevant): Trust your instincts, not your intellect. One can sense if there's a mutual attraction. It's a scary time, but it's also exhilirating, and beautiful. Be courteous, gentlemanly, and charming, and she'll definitely go out with you.

Wow, that was a long post.... and waaay too much personal info... Oh well, I hope that helps.