I'm Not Coping Well Lately

[freemonkey]

Hi all, I'm not going to give many details about the things that are causing me stress, because that's really not the point. And suffice to say, they are small, every day types of things. Its just that - it seems this way, anyway - there are so many of these little things, all at once.

The way I see it, the problem is not the crap. Its how I deal with the crap lately. It just seems to come in bucketsful. I'm so filled with anxiety, combined with some sort of depression, and its spiraling out of control. I feel unable to begin, sustain or finish much of anything. I'm having problems making decisions. I'm having trouble remembering things. I'm having trouble keeping my mouth shut, and I'm "exploding" over everything, even little things. I'm having trouble squelching freeform bitter feelings, which I know is only serving to make me mean. I think I'm starting to alienate friends.

I don't want to get medicated, I don't think that's right for me. I also can't really afford to go into therapy. I've always been a little anxious, but never like this. I'm afraid I'm going to have a stroke, heart attack, or something.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to work through this? Books? Emotional exercises?

[livius drusus]

That sucks, freemonkey; I'm so sorry. I'm not unfamiliar with those feelings myself but I'd be the last one to give good advice on the subject.

Paging Helen...

[HelenM]

Hi freemonkey,

I'm so sorry to read that you're struggling (I did also see that comment of yours to wade-w too, a few days ago). I think you're a wonderful person and I wish you weren't going through this.

Anyway, to me there's a fair amount of mystery about my moods but these are things I think may well help and so I try to include them in my life:

1) Enough sleep - I know I'm less anxious and emotionally volatile when I'm not over-tired

2) Physical exercise - this is good for our moods in all sorts of ways. Moderate exercise is beneficial - it doesn't have to be that intense.

3) Being outside - this time of year is beautiful anyway, so that is good for my mood - and natural light and sunlight is good for our moods

4) Diet - enough protein helps and limiting simple sugars helps minimize big mood swings. Turkey and bananas and milk are rich in...well, I think they're right in the building blocks of serotonin which is the chemical inducing feelings of peaceful well-being. Something like that.

5) Positive social contact - times when I get together with friends whose company is fun rather than dragging me down.

6) Structure/planning/facing what scares me - it's not good for me when the things that are bothering me sit in my head in a big tangled mess. If I write things down I can break them down into manageable steps and then do them one at a time.

7) Being careful about self-talk. Listen to your internal dialogues and challenge any particularly negative ones. Don't let yourself tell yourself everything is terrible because that just makes you feel worse. Don't lie to yourself but realize that it's easy to lose perspective and overemphasize the negative. Intentionally remember whatever is going well and the good things that are happening as well as the bad.

8) A book that has helped me because it's so positive is "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. I find it very empowering. It is somewhat new-agey so bear that in mind if you don't like New Age stuff. To me it's a book of very empowering advice about how we think of ourselves and our relationships and how we respond to others wrapped in somewhat New Age packaging.

9) It seems to me that women often struggle more emotionally as they get older. I don't know whether this is hormonal; I think it could be. Anyway, accept who you are even if you seem to be changing in ways that aren't making your life any easier.

10) Fun books or movies can give your brain a welcome break from whatever is weighing you down.

11) Consider whether your life has changed since you were feeling better. Maybe some things are missing that are more significant to how you feel than you realized. See if there's anything missing that you can put back, which is important to your mental health.

12) Take steps to face your fears. Often we have a choice to avoid something or deal with it. When we deal with it it gives us more confidence to deal with the next difficult thing. If we avoid it our self-confidence dwindles even more because our avoidance is self-reinforcing "see, it's too hard for you". When we deal with it we prove to ourselves that we can still do difficult scary things and it helps us to realize that not all our fears are reality-based.

Perhaps there's something useful in there somewhere; I hope so. I'd be interested to read what anyone else has to say. I appreciate liv's page but I certainly don't consider myself to have a monopoly on good advice for dealing with anxiety and depression. If mine even is good, that is.

Helen

[Petra]

:(

freemonkey, I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles, and I understand what you're saying. You described a number of symptoms of clinical depression, all of which I recognise as symptoms that finally made me go to the doctor.

Things like...its spiraling out of control. I feel unable to begin, sustain or finish much of anything. I'm having problems making decisions. I'm having trouble remembering things. I'm having trouble keeping my mouth shut, and I'm "exploding" over everything, even little things. I'm having trouble squelching freeform bitter feelings, which I know is only serving to make me mean. I think I'm starting to alienate friends.

These things were symptomatic of my own depression and the longer I ignored it, the worse it got and the more reclusive I became. Eventually it took over so much that I spent much of my time plotting my own death and crying for no apparent reason. I hope it doesn't get so bad for you before you speak to someone you trust; like your doctor.

Medication isn't something to be afraid of, and can be very helpful. Most especially for chronic, clinical depression which you've just described. It also isn't something you need forever; it may be that you only need it for 6 months or so.

I really hope you feel much better soon and that life picks up for you. You're such a good person and so talented. I'm really most envious of your graphic art skills, for one thing! :bow:

The fact that you recognise what's happening with you is a good sign, freemonkey. And talking to friends (like us :)) is also a good thing. It can help you to realise that no matter how awful you think you've become, you are still loved and will still be heard when you most need to be.

I'm afraid I know of no magic books or words, and my hugs are long distance ones, but warm and sincere nonetheless. In fact, here comes one now - huggles sent telepathically. :smilehug:

Anyway, honeybee, talk to your doctor - even if you choose not to take any meds, at least talk to the doctor, he or she may just know of a positive and effective alternative treatment.

Take care, babe. Look after you. And if I recall correctly, you've been through quite a bit in the last year or two - so be good to you. Try not to beat yourself up over anything, ok.

I hope you're feeling much, much better soon. :yup:

[Petra]

Good stuff, Helen. :super:

[Scotty]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{freemonkey!!!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

(gosh, I get so caught up with writing somethiing, people have a ton replied to by the time I get here, good stuff!)

I wish I had something more specific I could do.

I will say, that my wife was similar to that for a long time. It would come in waves (very bipolar like), up for a month down for a month, or months on end (usually down more than up).

Now, much of that was her upbringing. But, with Paxil, 12.5 milligrams once a day, it used to be 6, this is about the smallest dose you can get, she has evened out a lot. It really helps her anxiety, although she still gets into "peeing machine" mode when she is anxious :)

That being said, there is no reason you can't use something like Paxil temporarily. You don't have to haveto take it all of the time, just to see how you feel, then you can stop using it.

I think one of the things that helps my wife out is that for the most part I am pretty even keeled. I don't get too upset about much of anything for very long, and I will eventually talk things through so that they aren't an issue anymore, so that leaves her not worrying about things as much because I don't seem to swing to extremes (or is that flip-flop? :D). When I do have issues though, she gets more worried.

I hope somebody has more for you. Possibly a diet change would help, maybe you can try switching foods around, changing the time you eat etc.

Remember where you want your priorities. Take things in small slices. If you haven't done that, write each piece of the things that overwhelm you. Write it ALL down. Then, pick something on the list to work on, and don't do anything else until you are done with that one thing. Then, take a break, no matter how small the task you completed, then see what else is on the list.

Then, take another virtual hug from me. :)

-Scott

[Scotty]

I know I know!

You can help me with http://www.happydogmobileservice.com and I will pay you!

There you go, a project I KNOW you will be so fantastic on! (Just one more thing to add to the things that you can't handle right now! By the way, your web-site was nice looking, I liked your pictures page).

:D

-Scott

[Socratoad]

Ah dear freemonkey, like Lunachick I instantly recognized the signs of clinical depression when I read your OP, especially the bit where you seem unable to make decisions. I almost had to peek up at the top of the post in order to reassure myself that I had not written it. You have been given good advice so far on the thread so I really do not see what I can offer other than my sincere empathy and feelings of solidarity.

Do not fear seeking medication for what you are going through at this time, although as Helen mentioned diet can be a significant factor in such matters; I for one after having been through almost every medication in the book found that I can control my depression and its even more debilitating side-kick anxiety by paying careful attention to my diet. however if you are generally opposed to taking meds or are afraid of somehow becoming dependant on them I still would advise you to get a prescription and take them faithfully for a period of time until you can regain your former sense of calmness that will allow you to set your own priorities and therefore diminish chances of once more slipping into this condition. Do not, I repeat, do not go on meds and then decide to just stop taking them or just take them intermittently because you just happen to be feeling OK. More people fall into this trap than than don't. The directions on prescriptions are there for a reason. It takes time for the optimum level of meds to build up in the blood, and nothing can send a person into a depressive tailspin faster than just quiting meds or taking them willy nilly.

I do have a tiny bit of expertise on this subject, first from being a chronic depressive, second from having been married to a woman for over twenty years who had a PH D in Pharmacology. She dead now, but thats another subject.

I have no idea as to where you live, but could seasonal depression be a factor? Up here where I live the very low light levels combined with the cold damp dreary days are enough to drive an eternal optimist to the edge of despair.

Try your best to eliminate any extraneous stressful components from your life. Most of us are very good at convincing ourselves the everything we do is necessary ...... my advice is to take an inventory of your life. You will be surprised at just how freeing and life affirming chucking some things, activities, even some spirit-draining people can be.

I wish you the best

[lisarea]

I think these have been kind of suggested already, but what the hell?

1. Get out of the whole thing. For me, the Rocky Mountain National Park is perfect. It can turn me right around in no time, just by getting me out of context.

2. Drink lots of water and eat vegetables. Seriously, maybe 30% of the time, when I feel just vaguely irritable and shitty, drinking lots of water makes a pretty serious dent. The vegetables thing is less pronounced, but it works, too.

Those are just short-term quick fixes, but I've found that, once you learn to control the short-term stuff, you can keep those short-term things from getting big. It may help to get some drugs, if only to sort out what's chemical and what's not, so that, in the future, you can differentiate and sort of nip it in the bud.

And don't hesitate to yell at someone and make them help you do it before you get all apathetic and unmotivated and just go lie in bed for a couple of days. Other people can't always tell when you're spiraling downward, so just tell them. "I'm starting in on a good-sized funk right now, and I need to put the brakes on it. In five minutes, I might change my mind, but don't let me. Put me in the car and get me out of here."

[JoeP]

({[freemonkey]})

I think Helen covered everything I can think of (short of spending money on drugs and therapy – and I do mean both). Also she covered them in a pretty good order of importance. Enough sleep, some exercise and care over diet are the biggest things you can do routinely. I like lisarea’s emphasis on water and fresh fruit and veg, too. (And having a yell at someone … it had to be lisarea suggesting that :wink:.)

But small things first. I often find sleep is difficult or disrupted (not being able to tear myself away from this board), and being careful with diet and exercise just seems impossible. I’d put care with self-talk top of the list in this regard: get into a mental habit of questioning your negative perceptions and creating/reinforcing calm ones. Meditation can help.

You’ve recognised something’s wrong. As luna says, it’s important to tackle it now and not leave as too-hard-a-problem for too long. Is this something that’s got worse than it’s ever been, or just a recurring bad patch? Either way, you need to look carefully at your reasons for avoiding medication and therapy. Some common ones are:

It means you’re admitting there’s something wrong. I don’t think this applies to you.
Fear of the effects. It’s true some medication has unpleasant side-effects and some professionals don’t help much, but this is really only because we’re all different and what works for one doesn’t for another. It’s very unlikely anything would come of medication or therapy that’s worse than severe depression.
Cost. Do investigate before you decide you can’t afford it, and see what your medical aid/health insurance covers. I am paying R280/month for drugs (US$40) outside medical aid, and I regard it as a bargain. Therapists can be expensive but weekly ongoing sessions are not the only option! There may be free counselling groups near you too.
Fitting a regular therapy slot into a working schedule. Actually I don’t know if this is a common worry, but it makes it impossible for me. It was all fine when I wasn’t working, but practically impossible to decline important meetings at a fixed time every week, or to make ad hoc meetings with a busy therapist. Again, counselling groups are often easier, sometimes meeting at the weekend.

And keep talking about it with your friends here!

joe

[LadyShea]

I am so sorry you are having a hard time sweetie :(

I find the only things that helps me is to do something, anything, to try to address, resolve, diminish, or change the stressors. This is not always easy, and some things are simply out of your control to do anything about, and then you get into the hardest thing for me, acceptance of things I cannot change....but acceptance also relieves the mental anguish and is a worthy goal.

Feel free to PM me if you need to vent.

[freemonkey]

Wow, I just love you guys. :deepsigh:

Helen, (and everyone else) you've made some excellent suggestions... there's so much here, I'm not able to address it all in one go. Thanks. Some of those things already do.... I work out every day, I try to eat right, but I'm less successful with that, and do probably get too much sugar, carbs & caffeine.
Either way, you need to look carefully at your reasons for avoiding medication and therapy. Some common ones are:
[list]
Fear of the effects. It’s true some medication has unpleasant side-effects and some professionals don’t help much, but this is really only because we’re all different and what works for one doesn’t for another. It’s very unlikely anything would come of medication or therapy that’s worse than severe depression.

dingdingdingdingding! I can't help but feel that those side effects would exacerbate problems for me.

Self-talk: I usually think a lot of it is an attitude problem, and so I then blame myself for having a bad attitude, which I translate to "I'm bad", which then.... well, you get it.

But in reality, I don't think its any one thing, I think its a combination of things, from hormones to self-esteem to a native anxiety to middle age "OMG my life is half over" angst to I hate George Bush to you-name-it.

How does a normally all over the place person set about doing meditation?

Scotty, what do you need?

[godfry n. glad]

freemonkey...

I've walked this way many a time. I'm currently on 60 mgs/day of Prozac for situational depression. I have, in the past, been on elavil and lithium for depression (dog, am I glad my 20s are long over...). I have found St. John's wort, an over the counter herbal medication to work for me for residual SAD (seasonal affect disorder) that I suffer by living in a largely overcast area. You live in the Pacific Northwest, don't you? Have you considered SAD?

All of Helen's suggestions are excellent. Particularly the get outdoors, get light and get exercise.

I still recommend a visit to your family physician. Short term pharmaceutical treatment can break a downward spiral and help you get back to your desired functional level and off the medications.

That's my recurrent objective.

godfry

[Scotty]

Scotty, what do you need?

Oh heck, I don't know, I am still learning Dreamweaver. I put everything in Photoshop then was trying to figure out how to translate that into a web-page without being a bunch of images.

Anyway, don't want to derail more. We can PM if you have ideas :)

-Scott

[Ymir's blood]

I am sorry to hear of your troubles. :(

Things help me cope: (I apologize to those who have mentioned them already)

Outdoor walks - A long walk through wooded and hilly areas tends to help me relax and feel at peace.

Long drives in the country - Similar to the walking. The danger is that other drivers will cause me more stress.

Housework - Straightening up and cleaning around the house tends to break the downward spiral in my thinking. I suppose it is an easy way to see myself making some kind of progress.

Music - This is a big one for me. I often feel so numb that life becomes impossible. Music helps unlock the door and allows me to feel again.

There are other things that I've tried but they were rather self destructive in their own ways and don't bear mentioning.

[HelenM]

How does a normally all over the place person set about doing meditation?

I think it helps to choose a regular place and time - which could be at home, or perhaps a quiet corner of a library - because then you will come to associate meditation with that place and it will help you quiet yourself. Choose a comfortable place where you won't be distracted. Have a piece of paper to write down things you need to remember later which come to mind during the meditation time (like - uh-oh, I need to mail a birthday card today...).

If it helps, you can use a journal in your meditation (of course, this is separate from the piece of paper where you write down things to do later!).

Physical relaxation techniques are helpful - which means, deepen and slow down your breathing and consciously relax each part of your body.

Closing your eyes for part of it will lessen the distractions.

Visualization can help - like visualizing yourself putting some stressful problem you can't resolve into a box and putting it away in a safe place. It's there if you need it (!) but now it's put away, off your conscious list of things to worry about. Or visualizing letting go of stress with each breath out. Or...whatever :)

I would set aside 10-15 mins at least, because it takes a few minutes to get into a relaxed state. If you have more time than that available then of course you can use it.

Really, you can start pretty simple - sit in a comfortable chair with a warm drink with your eyes closed for a few minutes (but not when you're so tired you'll fall asleep). Take deep breaths. If you want to think, imagine the best friend you could possibly have in the whole world and then ask yourself what your best friend would say to you - this will help you not to be your own worst enemy in your self-talk. Or, it might be
more relaxing to not think - to just 'be', for a few minutes.

Anyway, have fun experimenting with meditation - I hope it helps. I think there are times when it's hard to meditate because you find you can't get your mind unstuck from the negative thinking. If that happens then I'd say go do something else which more effectively will unstick it. One thing I forgot to say earlier is that I've read a couple of books which liken the mind to a car that can get stuck in gear. This imagery has been helpful to me because it really does seem that I get stuck in negative thinking at times and it helps me to have the approach "what I need to do is unstick my mind" rather than thinking I need to "resolve" the circumstantial problem my mind is fixating on.

Another book - I really like this one and it's not new age; it's by a psychologist - is What Happy People Know by Dan Baker. It's about how much of psychology makes the mistake of focusing on what isn't working in our lives. The approach of this book and the way the author counsels is to look for a person's strengths, affirm them and build on them. To remind the person of what they have that can get them back on track.

I guess that's all for now...

Helen

Helen

[Goliath]

I'm sorry you're feeling like this, freemonkey. I haven't a single helpful thing to say.

[wade-w]

{{{{{freemonkey}}}}}

I'm sorry to hear you are still feeling depressed. I wish I didn't suck at these kinds of threads, but if you need to vent, you can always PM me or e-mail me. I practically live online, so you'll be able to catch me most times.

And please get professional help!

[Dingfod]

How do I deal with it? Not well. Been there, done that, didn't even get a T-shirt.

Now, though? Drugs, good drugs. I'm trying Wellbutrin now. Zoloft worked pretty well over the last couple of months but had some interesting side effects that affected my life negatively in other ways (sexual).

Feel free to unload on me, I've got broad shoulders and a barrel full of experience with being depressed.

[viscousmemories]

I have literally nothing to add to all the extraordinary advice you've already received*, but I hope you start feeling better soon freemonkey. :)

* Thanks everyone, btw. I'm totally ripping some of these ideas off for personal use.

[Petra]

freemonkey, Helen just reminded me of a book I had read many years ago when she spoke of visualisation to help you meditate. The book is called Creative Visualisation by Shakti Gawain. From memory it's kinda new agey hippyish in the way it approaches things, but it still has some great tools for mediatation and self-talk, etc. In fact, I might go to the library and take another look at it myself - as well as find the other book Helen mentioned, What Happy People Know.

Best wishes, babe. :hug:

[wildernesse]

I'm sorry to hear that you're not coping well, freemonkey. I hope that some of the advice that others have offered is helpful--from where I stand, it sounds pretty awesome, and I could probably benefit from most of it myself!

Just another little monkey, sending positive thoughts your way. Monkey thoughts are particularly potent. :dancmonk: Maybe they will help a fellow monkey.

[beyelzu]

freemonkey,

I am sorry shit sucks for you.

I hope that you feel better,

I am glad that others had good advice,

but I gladly offer support and some aforementioned positive thoughts.

[maddog]

Hi Freemonkey,
Wow, people here are really helpful! Helen covered almost every base I could think of.

Another book recommendation -- David K. Reynolds's "Constructive Living," or any of his "water" series (Playing Ball on Running Water, Even in Summer the Ice Doesn't Melt, Pools of the Moon, etc.) It has practical tips and assignments you can give yourself to lift your spirits and, even if your spirits don't get lifted, you can at least take care of some necessary thngs in the meantime.

Exercise is really good for depression.

Sugar is really bad for depression (except for chocolate! chocolate makes you feel better!)

Doing something for someone else takes your mind out of yourself. (Someone else's problems make me grateful I've got mine instead of theirs.)

I do badly even with small tasks. A strategy for that is to chop everything up into even smaller tasks, so you can get teensy tinsy ones done and feel like you're making progress.

Go to the batting cages and whap a few baseballs around!!!

Get a massage. Be kind to yourself.

Best wishes . . .

maddog
#40

[dave_a]

What you wrote sounds to me like panic attacks. There may be more to it than that and I am not a doctor so I am just saying it sounded to me like you were describing panic attacks, but you might want to see the doc, certainly don't assume I have made a correct diagnosis. The reason I say this is I went through a spell where I had them and it's what I was diagnosed with.

Everyone is different, of course, so I will just tell you what worked for me.

First, I went to the emergency room because I couldn't breath and suspected a heart attack. The symptom of not being able to breath lasted about 18 hours (overnight) and got so bad I had the wife drive me to the ER. I was tested and my blood oxygenation was at 99% so clearly I was getting enough oxygen. Later that evening I felt better, but I had horrible pains in my upper body. Doc said I had bruised my ribs from breathing so hard for so long. Since then no panic attack has been accompanied by the same feeling of suffocation, but my breathing does tend to become irregular.

That was the most extreme panic attack I had, once I learned what they were and recognized what they feel like at their inception I have been able to control them better.

For me there were 2 things that triggered panic attacks, pot and coffee. Both of these things elevate the heart rate and for me that was a trigger. The stress in my life was the underlying cause, but the 2 chemicals I listed would push things over the edge. Today I can consume either, but in much greater moderation than I used to.

When having a panic attack it was difficult for me to function because I had this impending sense of doom. Like I would make major mistakes at work and things like that. Like you, I wouldn't start things and had difficulty thinking. To force myself to cope at work I would write down what I had to do and break it into simple steps and then just follow my list without thinking about it. Trying to think about what I had to do would overwhelm me so it was best if I could just follow my own written instructions like a robot. I started "delegating" almost everything saying I was too busy to take on anything new as well.

Anyway, how did I cope since that is what you are asking about. Well, first I found the triggers that I could avoid, the coffee and the pot. Quit both.

Started going for walks/jogs daily as it helped a bit. For me the jogging, even though it was only for a couple blocks at a time was the best. Physically exhausting myself was really good.

Once I learned what a panic attack was and realized it was "normal" and something that *could* be coped with that helped too as I didn't feel like I was going to die or go off the deep end permanently.

Lastly I tried anti depressants, but they did nothing at all for me. So I got a prescription for Lorazepam which worked wonders for me. It is an anti anxiety med, and works within 30 minutes. They are addictive if taken daily, but a decent doctor won't prescribe enough for you to get addicted to. My doc allows me 20 per year so I know I only take them if I believe I am going to have a really anziety filled day..

I coped the best I could most days, but for me Monday mornings were the worst so I would take one on my way to work Monday morning. The simple fact that my Mondays were no longer so miserable (because of the anti anxiety med) was enough for me to cope the rest of the week. I think I took 7 of them in total and then didn't need them anymore. Sometimes all you need is a little help to get and stay grounded for a bit and then you can retain normalacy on your own. When every day is a bad day it can be hard to get to a place where you feel confident enough to deal with the problem constructively. If following the non prescription methods to feel better does it for you then terrific, but if it doesn't then I encourage you to see a doctor and discuss Lorazepam or something similar to see if it is right for you. It was for me.

[freemonkey]

Now, though? Drugs, good drugs. I'm trying Wellbutrin now. Zoloft worked pretty well over the last couple of months but had some interesting side effects that affected my life negatively in other ways (sexual).


I tried Wellbutrin about a year ago, took it for 2 days and I got sick from it. Nauseated, and I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin. I wanted to avoid some of the negative side effects of other medications, believe me, many would only make things worse for me.

I haven't seen my doctor in awhile, she was going on maternity leave the day after I last saw her. I'll call and make an appointment and have some tests done to rule out other stuff. I'm now wondering if I'm having a thyroid problem, which is possible since I had most of my thyroid removed a little over 10 years ago. I've also read that post hysterectomy, many women experience thyroid issues. :chin:

What Happy People Know by Dan Baker. Helen, you talked about this book awhile ago, and I meant to look for it. Then I immediately forgot about it. I'll try to remember to look for it when I go to the bookstore next week.

[pescifish]

Geesh, all the good suggestions have been taken already! :hmph:

My sleep gets messed up early on when I have emotional/stress issues, which exacerbates the situation. Even if I try to schedule good sleep times, I don't necessarily get good sleep. So there's not much I try to do to fix that except take advantage when I am sleeping well. Exercise and good nutrition are some of the things that I can actually control when I get stressed. But I find when I really get all balled up, that's exactly when it's tough for me to find the 'oomph' to be disciplined in those things.

One thing I try to be militant about is being disciplined in my thinking. When my thoughts go to the dark side, it's too easy to let them build to a death spiral into darkness: self loathing and hopelessness. I really do try to derail those thought patterns when I first recognize them.

It helps me to talk some things through with my friends. I'm sure they are tired of it, but I do try to ask for help when I can figure out what help I can use.

I also try to simplify my life. As you mentioned, sometimes it's the relentlessness of everyday must-dos that are overwhelming. When I get stressed, I strip that 'must-do' list down to the bare minimum.

Helen might be onto something about the hormones thing and how we change as we get older. I was just remarking the other day to someone how it wasn't until 10 years ago that I started developing a very exhausting level of anxiousness over the details of standard life things. It's particularly bad because I haven't developed a corresponding ability to give those details exacting attention. It has caused me to become slightly more punctual, though, so maybe there's a benefit.

And, oh yeah, if you are like me and don't get off on chocolate, I recommend the endorphin kick from hot chilis. You get the spiritual experience from the acid trip, too.

I really hope you feel better, freemonkey. It's hard when a general malaise persists for a long time and seems insurmountable. I got to the point where I finally asked my primary physician about a referral for meds, but she felt doing some standard stress relief and management was more appropriate. It took a lot for me to take that step to ask because I am also very concerned about the side effects, not just the physical ones. For me, consulting psyche and taking meds would cause unfortunate moderate-to-major hassles for my job.

[HelenM]

freemonkey, I think getting a physical check-up is a great idea. Physical deficiencies and other physical health problems can certainly cause or contribute to depression.

I hope you find something helpful in What Happy People Know. If not, feel free to say so and prevent other people wasting money on it! I first came across it in my local library, so I read it for free. Since I liked it I subsequently bought my own copy.

I appreciate what people have said about psych meds helping them and at the same time I understand and respect your desire to avoid psych meds if possible.

One thing I'd like to add to everything else I've said, although I hate to think 'worst case', is: is there someone in your life (because I don't know your current circumstances) who will notice and help you if things get worse and you get to the point of being unable to get out of bed/stop crying? If not then please think now about someone you could and would call if that happens, who would be willing and able to help you get the help you need. I'm not asking you to share your personal circumstances here but I am asking you to have a 'contingency' plan which is simple and easy enough to put into effect that you would, if it became necessary.

Helen

[HelenM]

By the way, I really appreciate everyone's input on this thread. I always like to hear what works for other people.

Helen

[SharonDee]

Thanks for starting this thread, freemonkey. Your OP described to a tee what's been going on in my life. So the helpful hints you're getting are helping me, too.

:shy: