Poker: Table II Signup and Smack-Talk

[D. Scarlatti]

Thanks to ceptimus for the idea.

See ceptimus's post here (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showpost.php?p=259505&postcount=41) for the rules and procedures.

The game is seven-card Texas Hold 'Em. Sign up here, ten players:

01.
02.
03.
04.
05.
06.
07.
08.
09.
10.

[Crumb]

01.
02. Crumb
03.
04.
05.
06.
07.
08.
09.
10.

[godfry n. glad]

I'd play, but I'm already in the game at Table I. I'll let those not yet signed up line up first. If you run short, I'll jump in and play a hand at Table II.

[Crumb]

If you run shortWe don't need 10 to play, 5 - 7 might be better.

[ceptimus]

01. ceptimus
02. Crumb
03.
04.
05.
06.
07.
08.
09.
10.

[TomJoe]

01. ceptimus
02. Crumb
03. TomJoe
04.
05.
06.
07.
08.
09.
10.

[godfry n. glad]

01. ceptimus
02. Crumb
03. TomJoe
04. godfry n. glad
05.
06.
07.
08.
09.
10.


Hell, I hop on now and if we get 11, I'll bow out.

[godfry n. glad]

:dddp:

[beyelzu]

01. ceptimus
02. Crumb
03. TomJoe
04. beyelzu
05.
06.
07.
08.
09.
10.

[Crumb]

:tsktsk:

01. ceptimus
02. Crumb
03. TomJoe
04. godfry n. glad
05. beyelzu
06.
07.
08.
09.
10.

[Julie]

01. ceptimus
02. Crumb
03. TomJoe
04. godfry n. glad
05. beyelzu
06.
07.
08.
09.
10.Julie

I'm still learning the game but I do enjoy playing it

[D. Scarlatti]

If you run shortWe don't need 10 to play, 5 - 7 might be better.

That's fine too. We'll give it a couple more hours to see how it goes.

C'mon people. I'd like to see Clutch Munny and ManM sitting cheek by jowl at 06. and 07.

[Smilin]

01. ceptimus
02. Crumb
03. TomJoe
04. godfry n. glad
05. beyelzu
06.Smilin
07.
08.
09.
10.Julie

[D. Scarlatti]

Atta boy. Guess I better hurry up and go hunt down my deck of cards.

And then go find the non-Euchre deck half.

[godfry n. glad]

I wouldn't mind seeing Angakuk play with the devil's toys, but he's a evening kind of hierophant.

[D. Scarlatti]

If he signs on, I'll break out the Crowley deck.

[viscousmemories]

01. ceptimus
02. Crumb
03. TomJoe
04. godfry n. glad
05. beyelzu
06.Smilin
07.
08.
09.viscousmemories
10.Julie

[Nightson]

01. ceptimus
02. Crumb
03. TomJoe
04. godfry n. glad
05. beyelzu
06.Smilin
07. Nightson
08.
09.viscousmemories
10.Julie

[D. Scarlatti]

Alright, one more, lucky number 8. Aces and 8s, the dead man's hand.

[livius drusus]

8 just happens to be my lucky number. Born on the 8th of October, donchaknow. Sign me up.

[D. Scarlatti]

01. ceptimus
02. Crumb
03. TomJoe
04. godfry n. glad
05. beyelzu
06. Smilin
07. Nightson
08. livius drusus
09. viscousmemories
10. Julie

Okay, here we go. I'm cracking the seal on a brand new deck of Bicycle Jumbo Index playing cards, and I'm going to deal cards to players 01. through 10. First black jack deals.

Please stand by.

[viscousmemories]

Do it in a new thread, eh? Called "Poker: Table II, Game I" to match ceptimus'.

[D. Scarlatti]

Julie, you drew the Jack of Spades, so you'll be dealing the first hand. ceptimus will deal the next hand, then Crumb, and so on.

We're using the same rules that ceptimus set up here (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9429). Please read that post carefully if you're unsure of the rules.

Briefly, this is a seven card game. Everyone gets two hole cards, then there's a round of betting. No limit. The betting round ends after everyone has called or folded.

Then, three cards will be turned over in this thread. These are community cards, and everyone gets to use them to make a five card poker hand. Another round of betting follows the three card flop. Then there is a one card flop, in the thread. Another round of betting. Finally the fifth community card is flopped in this thread followed by a final round of betting.

While everyone gets to use seven cards to make their hand, poker hands consist of five cards.

If there is a raise in the final round of betting that nobody else calls, the dealer will not ask you to show your hand.

Remember, this thread is for betting only: No chit chat.

01. ceptimus (19) bet blind 1
02. Crumb (18) bet blind 2
03. TomJoe (20)
04. godfry n. glad (20)
05. beyelzu (20)
06. Smilin (20)
07. Nightson (20)
08. livius drusus (20)
09. viscousmemories (20)
10. Julie Dealer (20)

I'll deal the deck and PM everyone their two hole cards momentarily.

The bet is to TomJoe, at two chips.

Good luck everyone.

[D. Scarlatti]

Do it in a new thread, eh? Called "Poker: Table II, Game I" to match ceptimus'.

Okay, I didn't see this while I was posting. Will do.

eta: I made this the Table II Trash Talk Thread.

etaa: Okay, maybe I didn't. Can you change the thread title?

[viscousmemories]

Thanks. Synchronicity rocks.

[D. Scarlatti]

Figured I'd throw this in here for the hell of it:

POKER HANDS, best to worst.

1. Royal Flush - Straight to the Ace, all one suit

:10h: :jh: :qh: :kh: :ah:

2. Straight Flush - Straight, all one suit

:4c: :5c: :6c: :7c: :8c:

3. Four of a Kind

:qc: :qh: :qs: :qd: :10s:

4. Full House - Three of a Kind plus a Pair

:3c: :3d: :3s: :kings: :kc:

5. Flush - Five cards, all one suit

:ah: :2h: :6h: :jh: :9h:

6. Straight - Five cards in sequence, mixed suits (Ace is high or low)

:9d: :10h: :js: :qd: :kc:

7. Three of a Kind

:8c: :8d: :8s: :5h: :jc:

8. Two Pair

:ah: :ac: :8s: :8d: :4h:

9. One Pair

:jc: :js: :10h: :6s: :2d:

10. High Card (in this case, a 7)

:2s: :3c: :4h: :5d: :7s:

Unlike some other popular card games, no one suit outranks any other suit,* so ties split the pot.

* Someone disagrees with me:

If splitting a pot because of tied hands, award the odd chip to the hand that contains the highest-ranking single card, using suits to break ties if necessary (clubs ranking the lowest, followed by diamonds, hearts, and spades as in bridge). - wikipedia

Personally, I'd leave the odd chip in the pot, and yell "This is bullshit!" faux-indignantly if someone tried to take 12 cents from me because they had a King of Hearts to my King of Diamonds.

[livius drusus]

Oh sweet! We might have to make a poker sticky. :chin:

[TomJoe]

Raise it to 5.

(is that right?)

[livius drusus]

It is, but it's in the wrong thread. You be wanting this one (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9436).

[TomJoe]

Bastards!

Ok, done. Thanks. :P

[Leesifer]

Poker table 1 is ready for the flop. :wriggle:

[D. Scarlatti]

Poker table 1 is ready for the flop. :wriggle:

Not quite. livius's bigtime raise has to make it around the table yet.

[Leesifer]

Ah! I didn't realise that.

:doh:

[Crumb]

Julie! Oh Julieeeeee! :waiting:

[Leesifer]

The bet is 5 :ff:lorins to ceptimus who's in the UK, so we're probably adjourned for the evening.

Bloody lightweight!

/me can't sleep at the moment, so is still awake when she should be in bed.

[ceptimus]

/me is up early, as he has a big day ahead of him.

[Leesifer]

5:30? You certainly were up early, cep.

[slimshady2357]

In the game thread vm asked:

I want to see TJ's bet and raise 3 more :ff:lorins, however you say that. :dopey:

You could either say:
Raise 3

or

Raise to 6 total

or

Raise 3 more

I would go with the one of the last two, especially the middle one. It allows for less confusion.

[beyelzu]

betting 3 when the pot is 20 is either begging for a call or really weak attempt at buying the pot. half the pot. a bet of ten is with authority.

[D. Scarlatti]

Now, now. We have a few beginners at the table. Be nice.

[beyelzu]

just trying to be helpful.

if i came across as assholish, it wasnt intentional.

[D. Scarlatti]

I know, I'm just kidding around. This is the smack talk thread, baby!

[Crumb]

Man you guys are high rollers around here. Julies in for 2/3 of her remaining cash after the flop. liv's all in after the flop. Sheesh.

[TomJoe]

Just so everyone knows, whenever I play cards with my family ... I lose.

So if I win, you guys really must suck. Though, I expect I'll lose.

[Smilin]

LOL...you sound like QuietBear now there TomJoe....

[slimshady2357]

Scarlatti you nutless monkey, you might want to consider adding the current pot value to your posts.

What? he said it was the smack talk thread! :D

[Smilin]

:lol: at ya'll...

[D. Scarlatti]

current pot value

I think it's around two bills an ounce for decent hydro (I'm talkin' two-toke weed here).

[Julie]

2 bills = $200? Wow thats is some expencive pot...

Then again I do live in BC

[D. Scarlatti]

Ridiculous, ain't it? Gimme the days of the 60-dollar, five-finger bag of Colombian!

"We're only welcome for our drink and smoke"
- Joni Mitchell, Furry Sings The Blues

[livius drusus]

Holy crap. It would be cheap at two times the price 'round here. Okay then I'll take my winnings in weed, please.

[D. Scarlatti]

What winnings would those be? You been on the one-hit bowl already.

[Julie]

Heh sorry I currently am out of magic weed (Which is sad because my arthritis is excruciating today).....Come to think of it I have a nice bottle of dragon tea that's been brewing for the past month, it should be just about ready :)

[livius drusus]

Consider it a standing order.

[Nightson]

Heh, if vicious has a good hand he can wipe out two people from the game on the first round. :yup:

[Crumb]

BTW DS, the forth card is called "the turn" and the fifth is called "the river" In case you didn't know....

[D. Scarlatti]

Yeah I know. (Not to be dismissive, I just find those terms a bit :biker2:.)

C'mon TJ, get your ass in there so we can wrap this sucker up and deal the next hand.

Step away from the pre-marital sex and play you some cards, boy.

[Crumb]

:cryhome:

[TomJoe]

Step away from the pre-marital sex and play you some cards, boy.

I'm at work beeotch.

[D. Scarlatti]

Step away from them petri dishes and bunsen burners then.

[TomJoe]

Step away from them petri dishes and bunsen burners then.

Prolly won't make a damn bit of difference in a minute.

[TomJoe]

:wriggle:

[viscousmemories]

You fucking cocksucking prick you took all my money!!



:giggle:

[Crumb]

Are you going to use the same indication for a fold as for people who are out of the game? i.e. the strike through.

[TomJoe]

:lol:

...

[Crumb]

Oh good job TomJoe.

[D. Scarlatti]

That was fun, I actually like running the game better than playing. Thanks again to ceptimus for the idea.

Sorry vm and Julie, but the cards are a harsh mistress. Hopefully someone will start up a third table so you can jump in rather than wait for one of the two games to run their course.

Are you going to use the same indication for a fold as for people who are out of the game? i.e. the strike through.

Nope, they're out of there like Jack the Bear. We's down to eight players now.

[TomJoe]

Oh good job TomJoe.

Thanks, but that was pure luck. That last Jack obviously pulled my ass out of the fire.

[viscousmemories]

Hey I'm still in the other game!

/me runs off to make sure.

[beyelzu]

2 bills = $200? Wow thats is some expencive pot...

Then again I do live in BC
actually for an oz of quality dank that isnt that bad.

its actually quite good. here in ga it can run 100 quarter, or a little more for thenamed varieties.

[beyelzu]

Oh good job TomJoe.

Thanks, but that was pure luck. That last Jack obviously pulled my ass out of the fire.
yep, you never should have called you were obviously beaten. you got lucky and play reckless.

im gonna beat you i do believe.


:tmgrin:

[Julie]

2 bills = $200? Wow thats is some expencive pot...

Then again I do live in BC
actually for an oz of quality dank that isnt that bad.

its actually quite good. here in ga it can run 100 quarter, or a little more for thenamed varieties.


OMG $100 a quarter? I so could not afford to smoke pot with those prices.

LOL I'm so not good at this poker thing :)

[viscousmemories]

I played reckless too, but I would've played less reckless if I could pay my bills with :ff:lorins. I did once win $10k playing blackjack online, dammit, and not by being reckless.




Of course the $5k I lost back might've had something to do with recklessness. I'm not saying.

[beyelzu]

2 bills = $200? Wow thats is some expencive pot...

Then again I do live in BC
actually for an oz of quality dank that isnt that bad.

its actually quite good. here in ga it can run 100 quarter, or a little more for thenamed varieties.


OMG $100 a quarter? I so could not afford to smoke pot with those prices.

LOL I'm so not good at this poker thing :)
well really good mids with a decent hook up is only 100-120 an oz, around 50 a quarter,

dank is not mids.

or so word on the street anyway, how would i actually know :tmgrin:

[Ensign Steve]

Damn, 50 a quarter? That's friends prices in LA.

[beyelzu]

damn, really?

la has some expensive weed or so word on the street has it.

:tmgrin:

i can get mids for 35 a quarter or so, maybe 40, thats friends prices here.

[viscousmemories]

Buncha dope fiends up in heah.

[Smilin]

Really vm. I'd have no idea the current prices of pot, where to get it..or hell how to even roll the stuff!

Not that I wouldn't mind someone rolling one up for us....just sayin' I wouldn't know how. :smokingj:

[beyelzu]

i also dont know how to roll without using a rolling machine never learned, always had a trusty pipe or a friend who was really good at rolling.

so not knowing how to roll does not prove thy innocence.

and if you were looking for it it wouldnt be hard to find.

maybe not at good prices and maybe not a oz, but a quarter or an eighth. thats just easy.

[Ensign Steve]

In Tenn, it's probably easier to find meth. :giggle:

[Smilin]

I haven't been in that scene since I was in High School bey. I'd be leary of getting ratted out or approaching an undercover cop.

Last time I did toke up was when my wife was running our taxicab company and I had to drive a client to his dealers house.

Wild times! :D

[viscousmemories]

I don't know if they even have pot in Texas.

[beyelzu]

to jd,

or in augusta.

when i lived in jefferson the cops in arcade, a town of about 2000-3000 people busted people for meth all the time. it was so common. this store in a little country town, and meth heads came in all the fucking time.


it really is the crack rock of rural areas.

[Smilin]

In Tenn, it's probably easier to find meth. :giggle:

OHHHHH YEAH.... that shit is everywhere here!

I DEFINATELY wouldn't be trying that shit! Not if my life depended on it.

I'm sure coke is the drug of choice out their in LA? eh?

[Julie]

Meth is just about as common as coke and Heroin is around here...and Coke and herion are REALLY easy to get around here.

As for pot if my friends Didn't grow it I'd have no clue how to get it :) I'm really lucky that I have good friends.

/me hopes someone brought along a pipe cause I don;t know how to roll em either...I always gave my stash to my Mom to roll for me.

[Ensign Steve]

I'm sure coke is the drug of choice out their in LA? eh?
I wouldn't know, I'm a bit out of the loop. When I left ~3 years ago, ecstacy was all the rage, but I hear that has finally fallen out of vogue.

[Smilin]

ahhhh shit. You're down in Georgia now! DUH Smilin...DUH...

/me just noticed your location ES. :)

I've never tried ecstacy either. Their was a special on Discovery Health channel the other night...

and one guy said it was like an 8 hour orgasm. :chuckle:

I'd be afraid to try it if that is indeed the case.

Julie, that is one coooool mom ya got there!

[beyelzu]

I'm sure coke is the drug of choice out their in LA? eh?
I wouldn't know, I'm a bit out of the loop. When I left ~3 years ago, ecstacy was all the rage, but I hear that has finally fallen out of vogue.
interestingly, i just asked my roommate if he could score some ecstacy easy like and he was all like, yeah, no worries.

so if i ever need any x, im set.

:tmgrin:

[viscousmemories]

I did X once, and it was about four hours of super intense pleasure. It didn't suck.

[beyelzu]

Meth is just about as common as coke and Heroin is around here...and Coke and herion are REALLY easy to get around here.

As for pot if my friends Didn't grow it I'd have no clue how to get it :) I'm really lucky that I have good friends.

* Julie hopes someone brought along a pipe cause I don;t know how to roll em either...I always gave my stash to my Mom to roll for me.
when i lived at home, i used to get weed through my mom and she would roll it all up for me.

i went to a crash test dummies concert with like 8 joints or so, by myself. my date stood me up so i sat on the hill at lakewood ampitheatre and smoked them like cigarettes, i was so fucked up.

:tmgrin:

[Smilin]

hmmmm...

I'm toying with the idea of trying some magic mushrooms. They grow wild everywhere here since there's an unlimited source of cow's and cow patty's!

[livius drusus]

Don't pick random mushrooms from cow flops, man! You never know what you're going to get.

[viscousmemories]

Word of advice: If you decide to try shrooms, don't push your way into the middle of a million native Germans shortly before the drugs take effect.

[Crumb]

Wouldn't want to find another coma.

[godfry n. glad]

Okay.... Enough with the talk of smack.

I just got my hole cards for game II.

So, of course, I hotfooted it all the way over to the game thread to see who won and with what.

I see it's two sets of two pairs and a trip.

What set me off is that of the top hands,

- 3 Jack of Spades
- 3 Jack of Clubs
- 3 Queen of Diamonds
&
- 2 Ten of Hearts.

I thought that we would be playing with one 52 card deck. The results shown would not be possible if that were the case. There is, so far as I know, no reason to use more than one deck. With 10 players, it takes 20 hole cards, 2 burn cards, 3 flop cards, 1 burn card, and 2 end cards. That's 28 cards, maybe 29 if you place another burn card between the two end cards.

Why would we have a deck with three each of face cards?

[D. Scarlatti]

Community cards, godfry. I made the best poker hand for each of the remaining three players based on each player's two hole cards and the five community cards. I'm using one deck of real cards here. Trust me, I'm legit, baby.

[godfry n. glad]

Community cards, godfry. I made the best poker hand for each of the remaining three players based on each player's two hole cards and the five community cards. I'm using one deck of real cards here. Trust me, I'm legit, baby.

Oop....but, of course....NM. :blush:

[D. Scarlatti]

np.

In the interests of full disclosure, here's what I'm doing. I'm dealing out a real deck here, and assigning the first two pairs to each player, based on the position of the dealer.

Then, I'm cutting off and discarding the next card, and dealing out the next five cards. I plug 'em all into a little Excel file I keep track of the betting in and put the cards back in the pack.

So I already know who's got the best hands even before the community cards appear. Heh, heh.

[godfry n. glad]

I'm used to playing stud and draw games with a single deck. I don't really care for hold'em. Three-card low-ball is a lot of fun, too.

[Crumb]

Is that forming a hand out of three cards? I like three-card poker. Maybe when you are out of this one you can start a three-card poker thread. Or maybe I will. How do you play low-ball?

[D. Scarlatti]

I'm not averse to dealer's choice, if you want to play Five Card Stud when you're dealing, or Seven Card Stud if there's few enough players. I don't have a huge appetite for wild cards, however. None of this, "2s, Jacks, Man With the Axe, Pair of Natural 7s takes all" business please.

[viscousmemories]

Somebody start a new game dammit! I'm dyin' here!

[D. Scarlatti]

Go for it Crumo.

[Crumb]

Well I think we should stick with hold'em in the games we have started.

[D. Scarlatti]

Fair enough. Why don't you do a dealer's choice at your table? So I can play 'Twos, Jacks, Man With the Axe, Pair of Natural Sevens takes all, got to have a King to have a little one, need a pair of Jacks or better to open Blind Baseball best poker hand splits with the high Spade'?

[D. Scarlatti]

Now where the hell did godfry go? Was he distracted by a shiny historical Jesus thread or what?

[godfry n. glad]

Is that forming a hand out of three cards? I like three-card poker. Maybe when you are out of this one you can start a three-card poker thread. Or maybe I will. How do you play low-ball?

Yep...three cards. Each player is dealt three cards. There are three draws. The objective is to get the lowest possible hand. That's usually specified as "42", meaning the 4, 2 and ace, or "32", as a three card run usually doesn't make a straight.

Low-ball is poker played for the worst hand possible to win. With five or seven card games, it's usually considered to be "64" or 6, 4, 3, 2, & ace. No straights, flushes, pairs or other combos. (The closest I've ever come to a royal flush was playing 7-card low-ball.)

[godfry n. glad]

Fair enough. Why don't you do a dealer's choice at your table? So I can play 'Twos, Jacks, Man With the Axe, Pair of Natural Sevens takes all, got to have a King to have a little one, need a pair of Jacks or better to open Blind Baseball best poker hand splits with the high Spade'?

Isn't that supposed to be..."best poker hand splits with the high spade in the hole"?

My buds and I play a game regular which we call "Hendrix". It's standard 7-card stud, but the person with the highest spade in the hole wins half the pot.

We also play a game I learned as "Cutthroat", but others call "7-card No Peek". The dealer shuffles and deals the cards out to the players (max. 7 players) all face down. No player is to look at any cards. After dealing all the cards out, the last card is dealt face up (and to nobody); that's the challenge card. The person to the left of the dealer, turning over their cards one at a time does so until they "beat" the face-up card. Then there's a betting round started by the card-turner and after the betting round, the person to the left of the bettor has to, turning over one card at a time, beat the cards turned up by the previous player. Each player must stop turning cards once they have beat the prior set of cards turned up. If a player turns over all their cards and cannot beat the prior set, they are out of the game and prior player gets to start the betting round.

It's a lot of betting for the other players when they cannot see what they have, but it can be very suspenseful. This is the only game I've ever seen a natural royal straight flush, and it beat a full house.

[D. Scarlatti]

My buds and I play a game regular which we call "Hendrix". It's standard 7-card stud, but the person with the highest spade in the hole wins half the pot.

We called that Chicago. My cousins used to play a variant they called Chico Graz, where you had to win poker hand and high spade. It went on forever.

Anyway, ya wanna nip over to Table II and play some damn cards already?

[godfry n. glad]

My buds and I play a game regular which we call "Hendrix". It's standard 7-card stud, but the person with the highest spade in the hole wins half the pot.

We called that Chicago. My cousins used to play a variant they called Chico Graz, where you had to win poker hand and high spade. It went on forever.

Anyway, ya wanna nip over to Table II and play some damn cards already?

I tried doing a search for Table II, but the best I could do was find this thread. I'll try again.

[D. Scarlatti]

I'm pretty much convinced this entire thread is smoking dope.

[TomJoe]

c'mon g-money.

Table II (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=261536#post261536)

[D. Scarlatti]

Next person I catch dithering over the anal sphincter bleaching thread for 45 minutes when it's their turn to bet gets his ass kicked off the table and Julie gets all his :ff:lorins. By the way, when my post count reaches eighty bajillion in a couple of days, remember all my posts are like four words long.

[godfry n. glad]

I'm pretty much convinced this entire thread is smoking dope.


I wish. They don't let me do that at work.....yet.

And, Scarlatti? I'd like you to deal me some decent hole cards one of these hands. Do you think you might manage that?

[viscousmemories]

:laugh:

We could have 10 games going here simultaneously as long as it takes to play.

No, seriously. Do it.

[D. Scarlatti]

I'd like you to deal me some decent hole cards one of these hands. Do you think you might manage that?

I'd love to old buddy, but I'm at the mercy of the International Playing Card Co., Ltd., Markham, Ontario, Canada L3R 6B3.* So try writing those fine folks a strong letter.

* Fabriqué Aux E.U. Pour.

[livius drusus]

Meanwhile, back at table I, the shit diddles.

[D. Scarlatti]

Yeah. beyelzu was online there for awhile too and probably got tired of waiting.

Now he's off playing poke her instead.

[viscousmemories]

I'm starting to think we only need one poker peanut gallery thread. I keep getting confused about which game is under discussion in whichever thread I'm reading.

[livius drusus]

I was just thinking that. The other one is shorter. I say we let it die and dedicate this one to general smack-talk.

[D. Scarlatti]

What you people need is a "price of methamphetamine" thread.

[godfry n. glad]

I'd like you to deal me some decent hole cards one of these hands. Do you think you might manage that?

I'd love to old buddy, but I'm at the mercy of the International Playing Card Co., Ltd., Markham, Ontario, Canada L3R 6B3.* So try writing those fine folks a strong letter.

* Fabriqué Aux E.U. Pour.

Yeah? They're personally there, making you deal me shitty cards? :blame: Canada

And, while we're at it, if you want to maintain a tight ship at Table II, don't go mouthing off with lies.

[D. Scarlatti]

It was a joke (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showpost.php?p=261573&postcount=106), godfry. The tight ship is to keep the thread easy to follow. You're free to point out "lies" right here.

[godfry n. glad]

It was a joke (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showpost.php?p=261573&postcount=106), godfry. The tight ship is to keep the thread easy to follow. You're free to point out "lies" right here.

Of course it was a joke. And you're free to make jokes right here. Not on the thread and then get all uppity when somebody responds on thread. You make smartass remarks on the game thread ("You're lucky you made it under the 24-hour wire by about two minutes."), expect smartass responses on the game thread.

And...it seems I got the right film, but the wrong general...Ripper.

[beyelzu]

im back and soon to be acting. sorry about the wait.

[D. Scarlatti]

Of course it was a joke. And you're free to make jokes right here.

Yep and yep.

Not on the thread and then get all uppity when somebody responds on thread.

That's where you're wrong. I get to make jokes on the game thread because I'm running the game. You do not get to make jokes on the game thread because those are the rules. And I was not getting "uppity," I was simply reminding you of the rules, which are in bold in the OP.

You make smartass remarks on the game thread, expect smartass responses on the game thread.

No. The game thread is for betting only. You are a player on the thread, you're not running the game.

But since you want to make an issue out of this, let me tell you why I made the "joke." As you know, there are people waiting in line to play. Some are online for limited times. Others may have PM'd me their moves so as to not make those other people wait.

I posted the hand at 6:14 my time. You obviously saw that post practically immediately, because you asked a question about the winning hands from the first hand at 6:20. I explained the hands at 6:21. You acknowledged my explanation at 6:25. Then you made four other posts, at 6:32, 6:57, 7:11, and 7:20 before you finally got around to betting in the thread at 7:21, one hour and seven minutes after the personal invitation to make a bet in the game thread.

That is why I made the joke. Because in the meantime beyelzu, who bets after you, had gone offline. You can consider this post "uppity" if you wish, I really don't care.

I would just like to keep the game moving, and moving efficiently, that's all.

[godfry n. glad]

Fine. Thanks for that explanation.

I'll leave this table. Count me out of any future hands.

[beyelzu]

np.

In the interests of full disclosure, here's what I'm doing. I'm dealing out a real deck here, and assigning the first two pairs to each player, based on the position of the dealer.

Then, I'm cutting off and discarding the next card, and dealing out the next five cards. I plug 'em all into a little Excel file I keep track of the betting in and put the cards back in the pack.

So I already know who's got the best hands even before the community cards appear. Heh, heh.
oopsie.

the first card goes to the side, then the three card flop, then another card to the side, then the turn, then a card to the side, and then the river.

so you should discard three cards, mr scarlatti.

[beyelzu]

for future reference i suppose.

[D. Scarlatti]

Thanks for that explanation.

You're most welcome.

[Julie]

Do I get godfry n. glad's :ff:orins?




(It it a full moon? It that why so many people are being sensitive and bitchy?)

[D. Scarlatti]

for future reference i suppose.

My apologies. I misread one of the links from ceptimus's original poker thread OP. I have never discarded any cards when dealing in real-life games, so even the single discard was news to me.

But alright, I'll follow the above procedure from here on in.

[D. Scarlatti]

Do I get godfry n. glad's :ff:orins?

No, he withdrew of his own volition. But I think crumb is fixing to start a new game.

(It it a full moon? It that why so many people are being sensitive and bitchy?)

I only saw one person.

[beyelzu]

well i was sensitive adn bitchy yesterday.

[D. Scarlatti]

Okay two.

[Crumb]

Who's it gonna be tomorrow? :noid:

Maybe the :ff: just isn't ready for a colosseum.

[livius drusus]

Oh so the :ff: isn't ready for a colosseum, huh? So it's like a big wuss forum, is that it? Well, fuck you buddeh! Fuck you right in the ear! :cryhome:

[Julie]

Fuck you Liv I don't like your tone.! besides getting fucked in the ear makes the inside of your ear all fucken sticky!

God damn it why the fuck do you always have to fucken swear anyfuckenways? Whats the fucken point of your fucken profanity? How dare you fucken swear around me? Don't you know Im the virgin Fucken mary? Fuck you and your god damn fucken profanity!

[Crumb]

Y'all are fucking nuts.

[livius drusus]

Are you calling me a legume lover?! Take that back or I'll point Julie's cuss-o-meter at you.

[beyelzu]

liv, i think hes calling you a fagales lover actually, the order of the nuts.

[livius drusus]

You're a fagales!

[beyelzu]

im rubber and youre glue, whatever you say bounces off of me....


and fuck you.

[viscousmemories]

:laugh:

[livius drusus]

Fuck all y'all
:cangry:

[beyelzu]

i luvs the angry caesar smilie thats good times.

[Crumb]

:angrynana: :angro: :agapple: :apapple: :apeno: :ffangry:

[Julie]

Chuck you Farly! you think you know so Mucking fuch! Go Buck a Fuffalo!

[livius drusus]

OMG I want a Fuffalo!!1 :wriggle:

[Crumb]

She says fuffalo, but I bet she really means fison. :rolleyes:

[Julie]

No I mean Fuffalo. fisons are different. Fisons are native to Aorth Nmerica. Fuffalo are native to Aouth Safrica

[Crumb]

:1thumbup:

[godfry n. glad]

(It it a full moon? It that why so many people are being sensitive and bitchy?)

Why, yes. It is the full moon.

I was taught to "burn" a card before dealing out the hole cards; to discard one card to the side, unseen. Then before the flop is dealt, three (3) cards are "burned", then "burn" a card before each end card is dealt. All with betting in-between each.

But it's your table, Scarlatti. Play it however you wish.

[D. Scarlatti]

Thanks!

We addressed the cuts, and I acknowledged the error. Hole cards off the top; discard one; deal three; discard one; deal one; discard one; deal one.

There are a million variations to poker. No harm, no foul.

[ceptimus]

I've been using a real deck, burning the top card before dealing the flop, turn and river, (and not cutting) on table 1. Unlike Scarlatti, I've chosen not to deal the cards until I'm about to post them - I prefer not to know what the community cards will be, until just before the players get to see them.

And I'm only using a text file to keep track of the cards and bets - I suppose I may graduate to a spreadsheet eventually, but the text file is working okay so far...

[D. Scarlatti]

I deal 'em out at the outset because I've got so much shit on my desk that I'm always moving around, I know I'll knock the deck over at some point before dealing out the board cards.

[TomJoe]

well i was sensitive adn bitchy yesterday.

No, you were oversensitive and bitchy.

There's a distinct difference ... cocksucker. :P

[Smilin]

Wow.

The heat certainly is taking its toll on everyone...eh?

Just checking back in.

I'll be going to Lake Winnie tomorrow, and will be gone until Monday. For the good of everyone involved in the game, I think I need to bow out of the game going on at table 2.

Good luck to all the players and I'll be back in the forum around Monday! :wave:

[Leesifer]

Well, damn, this table moves a lot quicker than table I.

[beyelzu]

well i was sensitive adn bitchy yesterday.

No, you were oversensitive and bitchy.

There's a distinct difference ... cocksucker. :P
:rofl:

fuckyou

:tmgrin:


but yeah, overly sensitive, as over is an not an adverb and all.

and you know its sad when i resort to pointing out grammatical errors.

[D. Scarlatti]

I think I need to bow out of the game going on at table 2.

Lemme know by PM next time, please. Have a good one.

[beyelzu]

Wow.

The heat certainly is taking its toll on everyone...eh?

Just checking back in.

I'll be going to Lake Winnie tomorrow, and will be gone until Monday. For the good of everyone involved in the game, I think I need to bow out of the game going on at table 2.

Good luck to all the players and I'll be back in the forum around Monday! :wave:
nopers, if you dont let scarlatti know, you can just stay at the table, the blinds will come out of your stack when its your turn and you are assumed to fold on your turn.

thats how it works when someone is away from a table in the tournaments i have played. so you dont have to quit or anything.

[D. Scarlatti]

but he can just fold the hand, thats how it works in tournies.

Fair enough, but I was just going by the timestamps. He asked not to be dealt a hand and I went ahead and dealt him a hand. So, my bad, misdeal.

Anyway I'm PMing a new hand to the remaining six players.

[beyelzu]

scarlatti, i wasnt trying to fuck with you or anything, just trying to be helpful. you can of course run the game however you want.

[D. Scarlatti]

I know man. It's all good. No worries and all that.

[D. Scarlatti]

livius drusus! Play some damn poker.

[Crumb]

Actually I believe bey should have gotten a chance to raise since his bet was blind.

[D. Scarlatti]

bey PM'd me. But if I am fucking up, let me know. It gets a bit confusing with PM'd instructions sometimes.

As far as I'm aware, bey's was the first bet and it made it all the way around the table without getting raised.

Note to players:

After the flop, the first player to bet may check. The check may make it around the table, in which case you get to at least see another card for free.

[TomJoe]

Yah, I'm a total n00b. Didn't know that. Thanks.

[D. Scarlatti]

np, learning curve and all that (which I'm also riding, due to these little online poker wrinkles).

Always bear in mind there are more cards coming, and when considering what hand you may be able to form with the cards you've already seen, consider the expense of seeing these next cards as part of your evaluation. It may be even worth a chip or two to try and fill an inside straight (which you should otherwise pretty much never do).

[ceptimus]

After I checked, I realized I should have bet 10. Crumb would have probably folded. :d'oh:

[Crumb]

:nyahnyah: Actually I was considering trying to buy the pot too. I have no hand.

[ceptimus]

I think it's impossible for you to have a worse hand than mine, so I just gave you 10 :ff:lorins by not bluffing.

[Crumb]

:yay:

[ceptimus]

But if the river had been an ace or a six, I'd have had a straight. That's why I bet on the turn card - I had a roughly 2/13 chance of a winning hand.

[D. Scarlatti]

Question: Smilin is "away" from the table. Should he be blind betting?

I tend to think yes, if he wants to keep his place at the table.

eta: nm, I'll be a nice guy and leave his chips intact, since he ain't getting cards.

[viscousmemories]

A high beats K high. That's hilarious. :laugh:

[ceptimus]

A high beats K high. That's hilarious. :laugh:Says the man who lost all his money, and has already left the table. :P

[viscousmemories]

Hey, I'm laughing with you, not at you! (Well okay, maybe you're not laughing since you lost and all, but you get the point.)

[D. Scarlatti]

Figured I would reproduce this here, in case there are any questions or objections.

An administrative note regarding PMs to me having to do with betting. If you PM me to simply "fold" early on in the hand, I will interpret this to mean you don't want to bet anymore. Nobody should fold if it's going to cost them nothing to stick around.

In other words, if you can stay in the game by simply checking, I will keep you in until there is a raise. If, in the meantime, there is a flop that improves your hand to the extent you want to stay in the game and check or raise any bets, you better get back to me, otherwise I will implement the original "fold" instructions against any betting.

[Smilin]

/me is back again...

Deal me in the next hand Scarletti!

[beyelzu]

Question: Smilin is "away" from the table. Should he be blind betting?

I tend to think yes, if he wants to keep his place at the table.

eta: nm, I'll be a nice guy and leave his chips intact, since he ain't getting cards.


in general, i go with a yes. otherwise a player can just away and avoid the blinds, which chip away at the stack. and not so slowly with a total of 3 in blinds which is a seventh of the stack every round.

[D. Scarlatti]

Yeah those were my first thoughts exactly. I'm gettin' soft in my old age and I have to check myself once in awhile.

But from now on, no more mister nice guy! If you're "away," you're bettin' blind.

[ceptimus]

:cry:

Even if someone is going on holiday for a week, and won't have an internet connection?

[D. Scarlatti]

Does that describe your situation, ceptimus? Maybe we'll hit you up for chips on the first hand you're away for, but if you're not back by the next, we'll let you sit one out.

I'm going to be pretty busy this week too, so the game may not be moving as quickly as it has been anyway. Besides, I hate to see a grown man cry.

[ceptimus]

I'm not on holiday next week, but I might be the week after.

If I am away from the internet, I'll try and get someone to run table 1 for me while I'm away. Maybe Crumb would be prepared to do it, as he's not playing at that table.

[D. Scarlatti]

Does anyone know Nightson's location? His last post, which was today at 5:13 a.m. my time (central) says he's going on vacation "tomorrow" and won't be back 'til Tuesday. If he's in New Zealand or something, I have no idea what that means.

The last move was beyelzu's at 10:01 this morning, so I guess Nightson has until tomorrow morning at 10 to respond.

[D. Scarlatti]

bey, I'd rather not assume something on Nightson's behalf. But I do wish he'd left some instructions before leaving on vacation. He'd been real good about that before.

[D. Scarlatti]

Piss on it (http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/showpost.php?p=263330&postcount=9). Crumb made me change my mind. I'll fold for Nightson.

[beyelzu]

there is something incredibly satisfying about bluffing a whole table out of their chips.

:tmgrin:

[Crumb]

:shakefist:

[D. Scarlatti]

Just a reminder. If people could keep an eye on the games they're involved in and make an effort to make their moves before browsing the other threads, that would be great. Remember there are people in several time zones playing, and we're not all online at the same times.

[viscousmemories]

If this game ever ends I'd like to be in the next one. Maybe you should limit the table to 4-6 players though, so there's not so much downtime between moves. :shrug:

[D. Scarlatti]

Sounds good to me. We could enforce a time limit on this one too, say another year month week.

Also with fewer players we could play different games. Five or Seven Card Stud would be cool.

[Crumb]

Fuck I could have split the pot! :doh:

[D. Scarlatti]

Shoulda, coulda, woulda.
http://www.travisstanley.net/images/nancygrace.jpg

[Smilin]

:D :beaugest: :mememe: :v: :happydance: :happydance: :happydance: :bundance: :chocoluv: :takepic:

Take a picture baby!

[ceptimus]

By ramping up the blinds after the first (say) 10 hands, you will automatically limit the length of time the game can last. As there are a fixed number of chips on the table (200 if you started with 10 players) then eventually the blinds become a sizable fraction of the total chip count.

As a holdem noob, I assume that the blinds still have to be posted, even when there are only two players left at the table. Is that right? If so, it will mean that the dealer is also the big blind.

[beyelzu]

yep the blinds do get bigger in tournaments. in tourneys it takes much longer though. and these games are actually speeding along for number of hands.


and yes in two handed the dealer is also the big blind.

[D. Scarlatti]

Me likey. Once the next round of dealing begins (after livius, as things stand) the little blind and big blind go to 2 and 3, respectively. Then maybe the next game at this here table is gonna be Five or Seven Card Stud.

Selah.

[livius drusus]

The :chicken:s rule.

[Crumb]

:yup:

[Smilin]

:hyper: :excited: :eager:

[D. Scarlatti]

I'm going to be getting confused with the betting shortly. Y'all might have to help me with the cypherin'.

[D. Scarlatti]

Um ... there's only one of four players left with any dough, so I guess I just lay out the whole five-card board and read 'em and weep, right? Anyone?

[beyelzu]

sorry, i will give you a hand

give me about 5 min

[beyelzu]

the main pot is 36 with all three of them in.

the side pot is 6 with cept and ngihtson.

finally capp isnt actually all in he still has one chip left

[D. Scarlatti]

I think I got it:

Total pot: 59

Main pot: 48 (Nightson, livius, ceptimus, Smilin)
Side pot 1: 9 (Nightson, ceptimus, Smilin)
Side pot 2: 2 (ceptimus, Smilin)

I lay out the five-card board and the best poker hand from each group of players takes each individual pot. Correct?

eta: Huh?

cep bet 16
Smilin called w/16
Nightson called w/15
liv called w/ 12

Smilin is the only one that ain't busted at the moment.

[beyelzu]

shit i missed smilin's call

main pot is 48

one side pot between nightson, cep and smilin of 9

one side pot between just cep and smilin of 2

and now you just lay out the cards

[D. Scarlatti]

kplzthx d00d.

[beyelzu]

can you reveal their hole cards please, i would like to see each players starting hand.

[D. Scarlatti]

Done.

[livius drusus]

I couldn't let those rats bluff me out of the pot this time. Last time I folded two pair. Ahh, I feel refweshed. :pleased:

[beyelzu]

damn, you folded two pair?

rough.

[beyelzu]

that was pretty bold. ace 5 suited is probably only going to beat the pocket nines like 40 percent of the time or so, course you didnt go in knowing he had a quality middle pocket pair, but still that is some aggresive play with ace 5 suited. liv.


i will keep that in mind my dear.

:tmgrin:

[livius drusus]

damn, you folded two pair?

rough.
Two pair fucked me over on table I, remember. A pair in the flop makes two pair a considerably weaker hand.

that was pretty bold. ace 5 suited is probably only going to beat the pocket nines like 40 percent of the time or so, course you didnt go in knowing he had a quality middle pocket pair, but still that is some aggresive play with ace 5 suited. liv.

i will keep that in mind my dear.

:tmgrin:

Thangyou, thangyou vury much. :bowing:

Ace five suited was as good as it was going to get with my meager funds. Besides, by then I knew Smilin at least was a stone cold bluffer. :beaugest:

[beyelzu]

ah yes, that definitely did suck,

this sentence made alot more sense before liv's edit.

:tmgrin:

[Smilin]

Well fuck me raw!

:D

I was sure I would have come out of that with a flush or a straight at worst...going for the straight flush.

Shit, shit, shit!

[D. Scarlatti]

re: "all in"

"All in," if I'm not mistaken, is technically a response to a bet you can't cover. Also, if I'm not mistaken, ceptimus and Crumb are eliminated from Table II at this point, since they can neither call Smilin's bet nor go "all in," 'cause they got squat to go "all in" with.

Is this correct?

[Crumb]

I'm a little annoyed at the way you handled me and cep there, DS. I understand you not wanting to have 5 different side pots going, but I think both him and I should have been in there for something.

[D. Scarlatti]

I'm a little annoyed ...

You shouldn't be annoyed. Look how long the post above yours has been sitting there.

I understand you not wanting to have 5 different side pots going ...

I don't mind that at all.

... but I think both him and I should have been in there for something.

I couldn't figure out how. If you can explain how, I'll be more than happy to go back and make the adjustments.

eta: Anyway, I'm out for a bit. I'll hold off on dealing the next hand until this gets sorted out. If I screwed up, I'll gladly go ahead and make the necessary adjustments.

[Crumb]

No no, its fine. Deal the next hand. I know I let it go. I woldn't have won anything anyway so it doesn't matter at this point. I waited because I didn't mind if this was my last hand or not. I guess annoyed is a bit of an overstatement.

[D. Scarlatti]

Crumb, I think you have a point, which is why I asked the question above in the first place. In this hand, however, it wouldn't have done either of you any good in the long run, since had I set up a series of side pots in order to somehow keep you and ceptimus in the game, both TomJoe and Smilin would have participated in those side pots, and neither you nor ceptimus improved your hands to the point of even beating TomJoe. So you would have been eliminated anyway.

But this is what I'm not sure about, where the stakes are fixed and we don't have the option of reaching for our wallets or IOUs to call bets we don't have any chips on the table to cover. I realize you can go "all in" with even one chip against a bet of 20, or whatever.

Take a look at the last three moves on Table I. Could Leesifer have forced me off the table with a raise? I think the betting rules change when there are only two players left in the hand.

[Crumb]

If there are only two players the betting limit is the lowest players all in. If there are more than two players than the players with more chips than that make a side pot for anything over the lowest player. Otherwise the big guys can bet the little guys out of the game regardless of their hands all the time.

On table II, since cep only had two chips the main pot should have been limited to two chips from everyone in. My extra chip would have started a side pot.

[D. Scarlatti]

Okay, that makes perfect sense. Give me some time and I'll revisit the entire hand. My apologies.

[Crumb]

I don't think there really is a need for that. The results shouldn't be much different. But you can if you like.

[D. Scarlatti]

IThe results shouldn't be much different.

I know that. But since I'm the one that screwed up, I wanted to work through it in my own mind. It hadn't occurred to me that there was more than one configuration in the betting rotation that would necessitate setting up side pots. My mistake.

Anyway, the short answer is:

main pot (first pot)

9 = liv - 1; cep - 2; crumb - 2; TJ - 2; Smilin - 2

side pot #1

3 = crumb - 1; TJ - 1; Smilin - 1

side pot #2

58 = TJ - 29; Smilin - 29

And you're right, the result is the same, because Smilin's hand beat everyone else's. 58+3+9=70, which was Smilin's haul.

Anyway, I apologize especially for the casual and brutal way I treated yours and ceptimus's money, and thanks again for bringing it to my attention.

Remember, I'm a musician, and I can only count to four. 1-2-3-4-1-2-3 is how I count to seven, and wuh-uh-un-too-uh-oo-three-ee-ee-fo-uh-or is how I count to 12.

[Crumb]

:chuckle: It's ok man. I wasn't expecting my three chips to go to far. What you have there looks exactly right.

[D. Scarlatti]

:dancing:

[livius drusus]

You know what this thread needs? It needs a little damn smack-talk. Someone talk some smack, dammit.

[Crumb]

If I had played better I'd'a smacked all you pathetic :asshat: s ! :whup:


How's that liv?

[livius drusus]

A for effort, Crumbles. :patrub:

[Crumb]

:thankee:

[D. Scarlatti]

Am I screwing up the betting again? Somebody lemme know, please.

How much is it for bey to call at the moment? Seven, or nine?

Because Nightson is all in with nine, and TJ's 11 puts two into side pot #1 ... wtf?

[Crumb]

Sounds like it is 11 to bey. If he already has two in that's nine.

[D. Scarlatti]

So in the meantime people can just keep raising past Nightson and everything over the lowest bet (nine) goes to the side pot, right? But anyone with enough chips has to match the highest bet of all to stay in? That seems odd for some reason.

[Crumb]

yes.

[D. Scarlatti]

Okay, that's what I figgered. I guess I am stupid after all.

Speaking of stupid, I just realized I've been washing my hair with "smoothing conditioner" for four days. I've been standing in the shower like an asshole for nearly a week thinking, "Man, this shampoo sure sucks." Only today did it occur to me to look at the fucking bottle and note that I'd purchased conditioner.

Is this what happens when you get old? Are there people brushing their teeth with Preparation H for weeks on end and just going, "Man, this toothpaste tastes like ass"?

[Crumb]

:rofl:

[livius drusus]

Is this what happens when you get old? Are there people brushing their teeth with Preparation H for weeks on end and just going, "Man, this toothpaste tastes like ass"?
Say hello to my leetle quote generator.

[TomJoe]

Hey DS, are you making sure to put your socks on in the proper order?

[Smilin]

:excited: :hyperb: :hyper: