Online Dating

[Johnny Pneumatic]

What's your experience been with online dating? How many people have you met from it? Any wackjobs, jerks, bitches etc. via it? How long have you been at it? all the jazz.


Don't click unless you really want to read it I'm at my rope's end with it. Wasted a year, messaged more women that I can remember - got to be near a hundred - and I've gotten less messages back than I can count on one hand. I've wasted *a year* with it, I'm fucking done. I don't know how anyone is willing to pay for this ineffectual shit. There, rant done.

[Ensign Steve]

My experience has been pretty good. It's probably because I am a woman, and we generally have an easier time with it. I met two really great guys on Yahoo personals, and combined into one person they would have made the perfect man. One was a gentleman who treated me with respect, was an amazing cook, had good taste in wine, was smart, funny, with a great carreer. The other one was incredibly attractive, funny, fun, and amazing in the rack, but was a bit too paranoid, condescending, and shiftless for my taste. Alas the science has not been invented yet that could combine them into the perfect mate, so I didn't end up with either one. I ended up marrying my best friend, who I met on usenet about 10 years ago, when neither one of us was actually looking for a mate. I did have my share of psychos and also messages that were not returned, but not a years worth. I don't think I would have lasted a year.

Hey, don't you have a girlfriend?

[D. Scarlatti]

If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: Learn to play the guitar.

Online dating? Never touched the stuff.

[Johnny Pneumatic]

My experience has been pretty good. It's probably because I am a woman, and we generally have an easier time with it.

That's what I hear. My ex-girlfriend gets four or more messages per week from as many guys she didn't even do the asking to.

I ended up marrying my best friend, who I met on usenet about 10 years ago, when neither one of us was actually looking for a mate.

That's cool. That's probably one of the smartest ways to go - marrying a best friend - looking at the divorce rate of normal marriages.

I don't think I would have lasted a year.

Yeah, it's not easy. I'm a *very* peaceful person - hardly ever even raise my voice in person (because I rarely get angry with people, and even when I do I usually maintain a calm voice) - and it's driven me into short bits of rage that I go vent on a tree with a stick, let out some primal screams and/or expletives very loudly - when no one can hear or see me of course.


Hey, don't you have a girlfriend?

Did for about two months, then she dumped me for her ex - even though he'll be living out of state now. Oh well, good life lesson there: even middle of the road good things don't last.

[Dragar]

If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: Learn to play the guitar.

And don't make my mistake; pick up an electric, not an acoustic.

[angrybellsprout]

I always mocked people for the concept, untill I unwittingly found myself stuck on this girl from Oregon for a while. She was pretty much the perfect girl for me (gladly wanting to save herself for marriage, wasn't a complete moron, bueatiful, would go destroy morons online), though not the perfect girl that I've always imagined (don't generally go for girls younger than me, and always imagined an italian mexican or korean). Just that she couldn't tolerate my choice in carriers (said some stuff about how she could never be with someone who was in the military).

Now she has dropped off the radar from most everyone in our old group and we think she is being abused but won't admit to it. I think that she felt bad that we thought that she was being abused, and the fact that she wouldn't allow easy ways to prove that she wasn't being abused was quite telling :\

One of the ways that we suggested that she could show she wasn't being abused was to just come have coffee with me, since I was planning on going up to the Sea/Tac area for a few weeks and she was only like 3 hours away. For months she was estatic about it, but then a few days before I left for my business trip up there, she suddenly changed her mind and started saying that her boyfriend wouldn't allow her to do such a thing. Then again we also think he was reading her e-mail and stuff and hacked into a few of my things online once he started to read the e-mails that I was going to be in town.

I've met up with a few girls that i've met online and have had great friendships with them, but I still stand strong against the whole going online with the intent to find a girlfriend bit. Though who knows, I might end up in a similar position as I was before and have it go all the way.

[Johnny Pneumatic]

If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: Learn to play the guitar.

And don't make my mistake; pick up an electric, not an acoustic.

So if you want to play it outside you better get a generator to power the speakers away from a wall plug. And a truck to carry all that stuff to and from college. :D

[D. Scarlatti]

So if you want to play it outside you better get a generator to power the speakers away from a wall plug. And a truck to carry all that stuff to and from college.

Nah, there are battery-powered amps, and even little ones that hook to your belt. Anyway, I'm not so sure I fully agree with Dragar. As a matter of pedagogy, you should learn on an acoustic guitar. And you could stick with the acoustic, equip yourself with a 45-minute set of sensitive love ballads, and get yourself a coffee house gig. That works too. Although there are other compelling reasons to go the AC/DC cover band route as well.

[Johnny Pneumatic]

Nah, there are battery-powered amps, and even little ones that hook to your belt. Anyway, I'm not so sure I fully agree with Dragar. As a matter of pedagogy, you should learn on an acoustic guitar. And you could stick with the acoustic, equip yourself with a 45-minute set of sensitive love ballads, and get yourself a coffee house gig. That works too. Although there are other compelling reasons to go the AC/DC cover band route as well.

Sounds like sound advice. :yup:


Anyhoo, let's get the thread back on the tracks.

[beyelzu]

never done online dating per se, but i did meet my gf online and i have made several friendships with people online even if i have never met some of them

:tmgrin:

[TomJoe]

I met my fiancee through an online dating service. I just don't do the bar scene any longer, on principle I don't date anyone at work, and most of my friends are now married. I definitely didn't want to go the "Hey, we have this friend we'd like you to meet." route.

Worked for me.

[godfry n. glad]

Actually, it worked for me, too. My gf, who is now moving in with me, and I met on Match.com. It took me about 10 months and innumerable "winks", introductory emails and a few "coffeehouse meetings" before I matched up. As I've noted before, she approached me first on the match service.

Actually, Johnny... I think you may be too young for the online dating service approach. My impression of most of the participants is that they are all over 25. Many are in their mid-30s or older.

I still think you'd do a lot better by becoming involved in groups that do the kind of things you like to do. That would establish a commonality on which to base tenative approaches. IIRC, you're too young to cruise the bars, right? Well, when you do reach that age...I don't advise it.

[Ensign Steve]

I think JP is 21 now, but bars just really aren't his scene. Would probably do better at like a coffeehouse or library. See if the local library has any kind of book club, or maybe do the museum scene. Or see if you can't find an anime club or a club with worldbuilders or something else you are already into, that way you're guaranteed to have something in common. Do you play RPGs or anything?

(Why do I feel like we've had this thread before?)

ETA: Anime chicks are s-l-u-t-s! :nudge:

[quiet bear]

would go destroy morons online

Irony

Just that she couldn't tolerate my choice in carriers

A teacher, was it?


One of the ways that we suggested that she could show she wasn't being abused was to just come have coffee with me,

Irony, or a punchline that writes itself?



As far as online dating goes, I've never tried it. Although, I would imagine it has its merits. Mainly, you have the opportunity to get to know a person's mind first. If you find a person to be intellectual and compassionate, I think their physical appearance is seen differently. If you know what goes on in that person's mind, and in their heart, I believe those qualities surface and enhance their outer self. Corny, I know, but it's what I think.

[Johnny Pneumatic]

I think JP is 21 now, but bars just really aren't his scene. Would probably do better at like a coffeehouse or library. See if the local library has any kind of book club, or maybe do the museum scene. Or see if you can't find an anime club or a club with worldbuilders or something else you are already into, that way you're guaranteed to have something in common. Do you play RPGs or anything?

(Why do I feel like we've had this thread before?)

ETA: Anime chicks are s-l-u-t-s! :nudge:

Thanks for the good advice. :yup:

Actually, no, I don't. The only RPG I've ever played was Mario RPG for the SNES ten years ago.

Well, because we've had advice threads for me before. I'm serious - thankful, but serious - I don't want this to be another advice thread for me. Everybody, please stop, unless it's about the thread subject as per the OP. If you really want to share advice, I'm ears, but please just PM it.

I'll take your word for that. The only one I've ever seen in person was...weird.

[Kyuss Apollo]

yup, did the whole personals thing before it went internet, then did the personals on the internet. Sent out a lot of "winks" that never got returned, and got responses from some others who seemed only interested in an "online relationship" that was all cute bla bla bla in emails and IM's but always had an excuse not to meet in out in the real world. But bullshitting online...thats what I have you people for, so the women who weren't interested in meeting for coffee within a reasonable number of exchanges, ttfn. I also met some decent women who I dated a couple times or even for some number of months but things just didn't work out in the long run. Also met some real freaking lunatics, but that should be expected. Water seeks its own level, after all.

Finally, I met my wife online. So I guess online dating can work after a fashion, given enough time, and not finding someone out in the "real world," so-called.

The thing is, there is never anyway of knowing how long it will take. It takes as long as it takes. Dating sucks, online or realpolitik, but its the only game in town.

Sometimes, I found, giving up "the dating scene" out of the sheer stupid frustration of it actually brought about a change of fortune--that when I finally stopped actively seeking, someone would come along shortly. Maybe announcing that you're "fucking done" isn't such a bad thing after all. :loseit:

[California Tanker]

Worked for me... well... kindof.

Not internet dating per se (i.e. not on Match.com or whatever), but I found Household 6 online.

NTM