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When I become World Emperor, Part 1

Posted 09-02-2007 at 08:34 AM by Kyuss Apollo

As my wife will tell you, I often have many great ideas on how to improve the world around us. However, I realize traditional political structures impose too many limitations for me to implement most if not all of my ideas. So I have come up with a new office, called World Emperor, which will once I have become World Emperor, grant me the power needed to get these things done. In much the same way that Julius Caesar saw that stupidity was ruining the world in his day and one man needed to take over and straighten things out, I too have that same vision and have developed a program that I will implement immediately upon seizing being granted this power.

First, I would add more hours to the day. There aren't enough now to get everything done that needs to get done. Along with longer days weekends would also be lengthened considerably, for the same reason--more time to get things done.

Second, I would widen some of these roads. And put new ones in that connect directly to places I want to go, instead of having to drive so far out of the way though places that I don't care about.

Third, there would be some serious redistribution of wealth. Starting with a raise for me of $61,000,000,000,000 and with total control over the world's budget, some long-overdue projects will begin while others ill-conceived as they are will be terminated immédiatement par moi.

Fourth. People that piss me off? Like certain politicians (most of them actually), people that drive in the left-hand lane, most former employers or anyone else who has ever annoyed me? A relocation program will immediately put them, and about 6 billion other people, all into domes on the Moon.

Fifth. A construction project to build domes on the Moon. This is an idea myself and one other developed when we were in college. But since he is dead now fate has left it up to me to bring this dream of building domes on the Moon to fruition.

These are just a small sample of great ideas I will enact upon becoming World Emperor.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    SharonDee's Avatar
    I like number Four, great leader. I hope the people what annoy you continue to be the ones who annoy me.
    Posted 09-02-2007 at 03:05 PM by SharonDee SharonDee is offline
  2. Old Comment
    livius drusus's Avatar
    I, for one, welcome our new Kyuss Apollo overlord. I'd like to remind him that as a trusted admin personality, I could be helpful in rounding up others to toil in your underground sugar caves.
    Posted 09-02-2007 at 03:16 PM by livius drusus livius drusus is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Dingfod's Avatar
    I saw a 66 minute per hour clock at the Phillips 66 Museum, would that work instead of adding hours to the day?
    Posted 09-03-2007 at 03:09 PM by Dingfod Dingfod is offline
  4. Old Comment
    curses's Avatar
    Ooh, I wanna help build domes on the moon...

    ..so long as I can come back to earth recommend people who deserve to live on the moon.
    Posted 09-07-2007 at 01:57 AM by curses curses is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Kyuss Apollo's Avatar
    Ruling the world will be a difficult and time-consuming task, and I foresee needing to delegate many important aspects of my plan to people I can trust, who share my vision for a world free of mindless idiots. Start making those deportation lists now, and then they'll be good to go when the time comes.

    I like that clock idea, Dingfod. It will be the prototype of a whole new line of clocks we'll roll out, at the start of my Time Reform.
    Posted 09-08-2007 at 05:36 AM by Kyuss Apollo Kyuss Apollo is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Sock Puppet's Avatar
    My favorite part is your order of priorities. First send the annoying 6 billion people to domes on the moon, THEN see about actually building the domes. That will make it so less expensive to implement that you very well may be an economic genius. Oh, and it'll be less annoying that way, too. Some of those losers might come up with a way to communicate with us, otherwise.
    Posted 09-10-2007 at 10:58 PM by Sock Puppet Sock Puppet is offline
 
 

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