[Angakuk]

I live in a community where most of the people are descended from Danish immigrants. One of mainstays of the lunches served following a funeral is open-faced danish sandwiches. I am always annoyed that they call those things sandwiches. It is like they don't even understand that 'sandwich' is both a noun and a verb. Calling a 1/2 slice of buttered bread with a slice of meat or cheese stuck on it a sandwich does violence to the meaning of the verb 'to sandwich'. You would think that could at least call them by their proper Danish name, "smørrebrød". But no, they insist on calling them sandwiches. As a rule I slap two of those travesties together and make an actual sandwich out of the damned things. You know, two pieces of bread with meat and/or cheese in the middle.

Don't even get me started on the butter business. I like bread and butter just fine, but bread and butter and meat/cheese/egg salad just does not taste right to me.

One other thing, and I think people must be doing this to intentionally annoy me, they often put the meat on slices of bread that have been cut diagonally and the cheese on slices that have been cut square so that when I put the two together they don't even fit properly. Or, they put the meat on a 1/2 slice of regular sized bread and the cheese on a 1/2 slice of danish rye which, even before it is cut in half, is alread only half the size of a regular slice of bread. Same problem, the two just don't fit together properly.

So, you guys can go ahead with your silly little debate about the status of hot dogs, I am with dealing something really serious here.