I'm posting this here and now so I can look back upon it and lol at myself for being an optimist.
You guys, this is so awesome. I haven't even graduated yet, and I'm already balls-deep in this thing and I love it.
All my life I've given the minimum I can get away with and still get the job done. I don't think it is because I am lazy or have a poor work ethic (although it definitely has a lot to do with how badly I tend to procrastinate), but rather because I discovered early on that I have talent and skill in certain areas where my half-assed job is still better than anyone expected. This also comes from a lifetime of being underemployed on purpose so I could focus on other things like school and/or having fun.
Suddenly on this project, for the first time that I can remember, I am truly fired up and giving it all I have. I am challenged by the work, and frankly terrified of fucking up and looking stupid. I am also actually genuinely excited to do the work and I'm enjoying all the different aspects of it, even the administrative stuff I usually hate. And the stuff that terrifies most everyone in my field, like writing and public speaking. You think I'm nervous to defend my thesis? Bitch, please, I sat promotion boards in the Air Force. I know what pressure feels like. I'm finding out that a lifetime of false starts and weird tangents has somehow culminated into a diverse and highly-valuable skill set. I think I'm going to surprise people with what I'm capable of.
I'm still an undergrad and I'm not getting paid except in college credit, and even that's okay. I recently heard some platitude like "don't take a job you wouldn't be willing to do for free" or some shit like that. Which I think is great in theory, but it's like, no dude, work sucks, that's why they have to pay you to do it. Well they're not paying me, and it doesn't suck, and I'm having a blast. I could see doing this for the next two years or so and not hating my life.
Like I said, this is all for
z later when I'm hating my life.
Hey, look! A breadcrumb from January:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ensign Steve
If I do end up in Silicon Valley or some place in the future (time for a new five-year plan!)
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