Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
Lunchtime rants:
Hey, human bovines waiting for food after having ordered it: There is a separate line for ordering. Get the fuck out of the way. And the rest of you in the proper line: MOVE THE FUCK UP already. I'd just as soon not be a mile away when my goddamned food is ready.
As for those of you who take all the chipotle sauce bottles to your tables, fuck you ever so much. There were over a dozen bottles at the condiment area, now there are none. You could take five fucking seconds to season your food before you go sit down and leave me the bottle, you sauce-hogging assbags.
And elevators? You suck the hardest and blow the longest. When the fucking elevator is already fucking there as I press the goddamned button, sensible elevators will helpfully stay open a couple more seconds. Not you; the button light doesn't stay on, but you hurriedly close up anyway. You need an "inspection" with a sledgehammer and some cable cutters. Asshole non-people-lifting bastard pieces of shit.
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"Her eyes in certain light were violet, and all her teeth were even. That's a rare, fair feature: even teeth. She smiled to excess, but she chewed with real distinction." - Eleanor of Aquitaine
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