Herein I am sorrowfully obliged to report our own Bort (also known as Bortermann) for his grievous unauthorized Secret Santa activities of which I have been the recent target.
The trouble began
here, when Goodman Bort kindly offered to contribute a VGA cable to the cause of science. Seduced by this show of goodwill, I provided my postal information in order to receive same.
It was clearly then that Sort first undertook to misappropriate this information and divert it for unauthorized Secret Santa activities.
Today I have received by post the aforesaid VGA cable, pictured here in action doing science:
But I have ALSO received the following unsolicited items in that self-same parcel!
A note:
A ritualistic effigy of a murder victim (re-assembled here as best I can - the extra penis is on the left). It is possible that I will rub it down with catnip, and I assure you it will be quite raped:
One (1) Ziploc ® bag of rubber bands of unknown make:
Bort, I hereby call you out to inform you that these actions are egregious and I assure you that the retaliation will be swift.