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Old 07-19-2019, 08:11 PM
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Ari Ari is offline
I read some of your foolish scree, then just skimmed the rest.
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
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Default Re: Movies that aren't really BAD -- but aren't very good, either

The Ninth Gate, a movie I torrented a long time ago for some reason but never bothered to watch. Picking a movie this way can be interesting as I only later learned any details behind it or even when it was made.

So off we go with a bit younger, hotter and clearly still thinking he had to act to earn a pay check Johnny Depp as Corso a rare book hunter being tasked in finding and comparing a copy of the Nine gates with the other two remaining copies to tell if it’s a forgery. Along the way we discover the occult, death, sex, bad robes and oddly placed hilarity. Parts of the film seemed to suddenly change tone from the more serious mystery to some sort of benny hill comedy and then back a few times, and it has a feel of a higher budget film school student film where some directing and editing choices were made because they wanted to try them out for the first time, not because they would fit.

Depp very much saves this film as the main mystery isn’t that complicated to figure out as a viewer but the interest is watching this book nerd detective work his way through it while drinking almost as much as Depp does now. As well as the bigger mystery of who this girl that follows and helps him is and why she can cast puppet strings feather fall, floating down from high places, among other DnD spells.

It is surprising at the end we find out that the mysterious girl is actually Lucifer making sure not any greedy fart who does a fetch quest can gain his powers but might lead the devil to find a true deciple of satan; that gaining the powers of the ninth gate meant lending his body over to satan for a time to exist on earth, as the girl, a witch of centuries ago, had previously done, the last person to successfully enter the Gate. Er wait no, that’s all just bullshit I made up in a few minutes because they tell us nothing.

Who is the mysterious girl with magic powers? Another witch, a succubus demon, just some random college student who took way too many research-chemicals and accidentally stumbled into another part of reality? Was she even real at all and this was all some sort of Fight Club delusion? Who the fuck knows. As we get a ‘he completes the fetch quest to pass through the Ninth Gate and then fade to black’ ending. Oh thanks movie. And you’ll notice I keep calling her ‘the girl’ because the movie doesn’t even give her a name.

Who was this interesting but highly flawed film directed by? Oh, well shit, acclaimed director and rapist Roman Polanski and released in 99. It feels disappointingly mediocre and cliche in many ways and while overall entertaining to watch, it’s skewed my later views finding out that people supposably highly creative and cherished made it, because I’m not sure the acclaim is warranted.
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