[BrotherMan]

I've done something. Something that I'm both pleased with and unhappy about.

As I've said before, my big impetus was to reduce my sugars and carbs. I've been quite successful at that, I'd say. Not perfect of course but still p good.

I've been back at work for a few months now. Though I was pleased I hadn't put on much, if any, weight because of it, I noticed I wasn't dropping the weight like I wanted to. I'd go down through the week and back up a bit on the weekend. It was expected considering I'm a bit more regimented during the week - on a schedule at work and all. I can't just up and eat whatever, whenever when I'm supposed to be toeing that line and toting that bale.

But even so, I'd plateaued. I figured it was time to take a much closer look at what I was doing, diet-wise, and see what's what. I had also been feeling p good about the foods I was eating as my bloodwork came back with all positives across the board.

I decided to look at actual calories.

Much to my dismay. Guys, I was really saddened at my discovery.

I realized I had to give up my low carb and multi purpose tortillas. They were the highest calorie single item in my diet. (Except for the binge on peanut butter. But, come on. Who can eat just one tablespoon? And nevermind my "little" treat of peanutbutter on the tortilla.)

That was a couple of weeks ago now. Again, I'm not perfect so I've had a couple since my self imposed moratorium. But I've also resumed a gradual and steady drop in pounds.

Today at the work scale it read ~185.

I think part of my issue over the late summer was I had accidentally started eating at a maintenance level. Which I'm not ready for yet.

As far as my health goes, my psychological/emotional/mental goal is to lose enough so that my blood pressure reads normal. I'm not shooting for a goal weight or anything. Not yet. I do find myself saying that if I reach #NNN, that'd be a good holding point. But as my actual weight goes down and my body feels better while it's happening, that "goal" number gets a little lower.

Last year, I think I remember thinking: 185 is a good number. I get that far, and I'll be good. Lower than that would be, in a parlance, a stretch goal. Nice if it happens, but I'm not going to push at it.

Now that I'm passing that, I'm thinking 165 would be nice if it happens. 175 feels realistic and anything more would be - what is word - not worth the effort? Something like that, but not that mean spirited.

But guys. Seriously, guys? I'm bummed about my tortillas.