In honor of Wrestlemania 26 tomorrow, when chairmen of the WWE is scheduled to fight Bret the Hitman Hart in a no disqualification match, I post a dream I had several weeks ago.
VINCE HIGH DIVE SWERVE
The dream starts with a challenge:
The two bravest people in every United States voting district should step right up for the greatest Fear Factor-esque dare challenge of all time. Two competitors, within a crowd of onlookers are meant to race up a giant ramp of an obstacle course. The most vibrant parts are colorful climbing pegs that one must fashion their feet upon while grabbing the higher up ones to pull themselves up and scale the wall. There are all sorts of strange sections as well, but the very exciting and death-defying obstacle lies at the end. A giant diving board, some 100 feet in the sky overlooking a giant pool. The competitors are meant to race to the top, and be the first to take a successful jump. All televised. Some haziness and it is revealed that none other than Vince McMachon is the only person in his district with enough guts to take the challenge. He makes a grand appearance, and is followed by a mob of escorts and cameramen every step of the way after having taking a grand stride from a limosine making an undeniable appearance. Having no challenger, no one with the courage to go against him, he, dressed in a full length suit (as usual) begins to scale the obstacle ramp to the top. He is followed, however, by a half dozen or so police men, fire fighters, and body guards, who assist him every step of the way. He makes his laudy way up every step of the way, and the whole time graces the cameras with a cocky half-smirk of self-assurance while a crowd of people below roar. "Why, easy as cake" he seems to feel. So as his helpers and servants and volunteers make sure the billionaire makes it to the top of his challenge with success, and situate his legs and hands guiding him up the wall, he gets closer and closer to his target. When he arrives, however, finally to the top of the high diving board, there is nobody to assist him, not a single soul. So does he jump? Well, Vince takes a big left take, followed by a big right take, and realizes there is nobody there to help him. His first reaction is to brush off both of his jacket shoulder pads and look down at the audience of peon ant-sized spectators, cheering for him to make the jump. Hiking up his pants and then hardly laughing, Vince pulls off his suit jacket and tosses it to his right, watching as it glide downwards in slow motion before plopping the water. Then, always with that same patented smile, he loosens and drops his tie, too.
Then he plummets. He jumps. HE FALLS. Right into a lofty suicide dive and flip, Vince goes channeling downward at high speed and at aerial view camera seems to fall with him. But as he comes closer and closer and closer the the giant pool below, he seems to accidentilly rearrange his trajectory and finds himself heading, not towards the pool, but toawards the concrete around the outer edges. Crowd roars morph to horrific screams and Vince's body shoots upright and he collides with the pavement, leg first. He grabs hold of his leg, in which every tendon and bone has been pulverized to a smithereen, and rocks forth hurling and weeping in pain, cradling his wound like a child. Identical, almost, to the leg injury of John Morrison in his match against R-Truth the night before. The only difference, nobody was there to help Vince. My head fumbles "IS THIS KAYFABE, OR WHAT!?". Then I awaken. Sources say McMahon won't be wrestling Bret Hart at Wrestlmania this year.