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Old 03-02-2012, 04:52 PM
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Default Good news, you're not all going to hell!

Only some of you.

The mormons will baptize you by proxy! Personally, I hope they baptize the whole world by proxy. I was afraid I was going to be all alone up there!


http://vaticaninsider.lastampa.it/en...-gandhi-13090/
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Old 03-02-2012, 05:21 PM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

This better not interfere with my cunning plan to quickly convert to Buddhism about 5 minutes before my death, so that I can reincarnate as a small kitten in a really cat-friendly household.
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Old 03-02-2012, 09:05 PM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

I'm not going to somewhere that I don't believe exists. Yippee!!!
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Old 03-02-2012, 09:47 PM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

There are only two things to worry about:

Either you are well or you are sick.
If you are well – there’s nothing to worry about -

If you are sick – there are only two things to worry about:
Either you will get well, or you will die.
If you get well – there’s nothing to worry about.

If you die – there are only two things to worry about:
Either you will go to heaven or to hell.
If you go to heaven – there’s nothing to worry about.

But if you go to hell – you’ll be so damn busy talking with all your friends, You won’t have time to worry
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Old 03-03-2012, 03:30 AM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

I have heard it said that when lawyers die they go straight to hell. I have it on good authority that this is not the case. There is long waiting line for lawyers to get into hell.
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Old 03-03-2012, 04:48 AM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

There is no 'hell' in the bible.
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Old 03-03-2012, 04:54 AM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!


:farnsworth:
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Old 03-03-2012, 05:38 AM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

Quote:
Originally Posted by JEROME DA GNOME View Post
There is no 'hell' in the bible.
You are, of course, quite correct, since neither the Old or New Testaments were written in English.

You are, of course, also quite wrong, since the King James version of the Bible uses the word 'hell' 54 times.

In the KJV 'hell' was the word most frequently used to translate the Hebrew word 'sheol' and the Greek word 'hades'.

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Old 03-03-2012, 05:53 AM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Qingdai View Post

:farnsworth:
It's 'good news everyone' :nerdrage:
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Old 03-03-2012, 07:43 AM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!


:pinkiepie:
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Old 03-03-2012, 12:32 PM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angakuk View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by JEROME DA GNOME View Post
There is no 'hell' in the bible.
You are, of course, quite correct, since neither the Old or New Testaments were written in English.

You are, of course, also quite wrong, since the King James version of the Bible uses the word 'hell' 54 times.

In the KJV 'hell' was the word most frequently used to translate the Hebrew word 'sheol' and the Greek word 'hades'.

Why did I click on that?
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Old 03-03-2012, 01:58 PM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angakuk View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by JEROME DA GNOME View Post
There is no 'hell' in the bible.
You are, of course, quite correct, since neither the Old or New Testaments were written in English.

You are, of course, also quite wrong, since the King James version of the Bible uses the word 'hell' 54 times.

In the KJV 'hell' was the word most frequently used to translate the Hebrew word 'sheol' and the Greek word 'hades'.
And neither of those words mean what people commonly think of as 'hell'. You forgot 'gehenna' which is also translated as hell.
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Old 03-03-2012, 02:08 PM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

Quote:
Originally Posted by JEROME DA GNOME View Post
And neither of those words mean what people commonly think of as 'hell'. You forgot 'gehenna' which is also translated as hell.

What people commonly think, is commonly wrong.
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Old 03-04-2012, 02:27 AM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

Some people pronounce 'jail' or 'gaol' as 'hell'.
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Old 03-04-2012, 02:46 AM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingfod View Post
Why did I click on that?
Because you are a trusting sort of person. - Otherwise known as a sucker.
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Old 03-04-2012, 02:49 AM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingfod View Post
Some people pronounce 'jail' or 'gaol' as 'hell'.
"Never been in Jail, Don't want to go there again."
If I remember his name I'll let you know. - - It was 'Rocky'?
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Old 03-04-2012, 04:30 AM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

Funny. All those times it is translated as the same word, "hell", which isn't even a greek or hebrew word, but a nordic one, as far as I am aware. And that refers to an afterlife that is merely boring, a sort of slow fading away as you are forgotten.

Much like the greek afterlife. I have not heard of any torture in the jewish variant either.

So where does the common notion of the Christian torture-dungeon afterlife COME from, exactly?
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Old 03-04-2012, 05:23 AM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

Quote:
Originally Posted by JEROME DA GNOME View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angakuk View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by JEROME DA GNOME View Post
There is no 'hell' in the bible.
You are, of course, quite correct, since neither the Old or New Testaments were written in English.

You are, of course, also quite wrong, since the King James version of the Bible uses the word 'hell' 54 times.

In the KJV 'hell' was the word most frequently used to translate the Hebrew word 'sheol' and the Greek word 'hades'.
And neither of those words mean what people commonly think of as 'hell'. You forgot 'gehenna' which is also translated as hell.
I also left our 'tartarus'. So?
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Old 03-04-2012, 08:10 AM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vivisectus View Post
I have not heard of any torture in the jewish variant either.
Depends on where or when you look. However, in the canonical biblical works, sheol is merely the underworld where everyone goes--including a prophet of YHWH, Samuel and those damned for destruction by YHWH:

Quote:
1 Sam 28:15-19 Then Samuel said to Saul, “Why have you disturbed me by bringing me up?” Saul answered, “I am in great distress, for the Philistines are warring against me, and Elohim has turned away from me and answers me no more, either by prophets or by dreams; so I have summoned you to tell me what I should do.” Samuel said, “Why then do you ask me, since YHWH has turned from you and become your enemy? YHWH has done to you just as he spoke by me; for YHWH has torn the kingdom out of your hand, and given it to your neighbor, David. Because you did not obey the voice of YHWH, and did not carry out his fierce wrath against Amalek, therefore YHWH has done this thing to you today. 19 Moreover YHWH will give Israel along with you into the hands of the Philistines; and tomorrow you and your sons shall be with me; . . .” [NRSV corrected based on BHS--Ed.]
Quote:
So where does the common notion of the Christian torture-dungeon afterlife COME from, exactly?
Schenectady. [Stop that!--Ed.] Long, long, long story short from the development of dualism with heavy Zoroastrian influence. To this day, Judaism really does not have a "heaven and hell" and early Christianities expect the eschaton to happen--and everyone they did not like to get fried then. When that did not happen, you had to start putting people "somewhere" different than "everyone else." So you start mythmaking.

Though it was not too late. In Lk 16:22-26--Luke likes his divine reprisals we have sort of a "modern" heaven and hell:

Quote:
Lk 16:22-26: "The poor man died and was carried away by the angels to be with Abraham. The rich man also died and was buried. In Hades [τῷ ἅδῃ--Ed.], where he was being tormented, he looked up and saw Abraham far away with Lazarus by his side. He called out, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am in agony in these flames.’ But Abraham said, ‘Child, remember that during your lifetime you received your good things, and Lazarus in like manner evil things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in agony. Besides all this, between you and us a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who might want to pass from here to you cannot do so, and no one can cross from there to us.’" [NRSV with NA-27--Ed.]
--J.D.
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Old 03-05-2012, 03:28 PM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vivisectus View Post
Funny. All those times it is translated as the same word, "hell", which isn't even a greek or hebrew word, but a nordic one, as far as I am aware. And that refers to an afterlife that is merely boring, a sort of slow fading away as you are forgotten.
Oh my. I think I work there. :(
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Old 03-05-2012, 04:50 PM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

Quote:
Originally Posted by JEROME DA GNOME View Post
There is no 'hell' in the bible.
Take it up with the Osmonds.
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Old 03-05-2012, 09:26 PM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

Insert "Luxemborough = Hell" Joke HERE.

--J.D.
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Old 03-06-2012, 08:57 PM
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Default Re: Good news, you're not all going to hell!

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Originally Posted by Vivisectus View Post
So where does the common notion of the Christian torture-dungeon afterlife COME from, exactly?
The lake of fire from the Book of Revelation, the parable of Dives and Lazarus and to a larger degree, Dante's Inferno.
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