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  #326  
Old 03-02-2012, 11:24 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Watched Horror Express, with Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing and Telly Savalas last night. I am a huge, longtime fan of cheap horror movies with Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing and this was lame even by my standards. Telly Savalas' brief appearance was an amusing bit of scenery-chewing, but even Peter Cushing rolling up his sleeves* and doing an autopsy failed to make this film worthwhile.

*For some reason I cannot explain I have a thing for Peter Cushing's forearms and love the scenes in old Hammer films where he rolls up his sleeves and gets to work.
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  #327  
Old 03-03-2012, 12:29 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

I think I've got Horror Express on a DVD somewhere. IIRC it must be in the public domain as it was sold at the dollar store at Halloween. Is it boring bad, nauseating bad or funny bad?
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  #328  
Old 03-04-2012, 10:06 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janet View Post
*For some reason I cannot explain I have a thing for Peter Cushing's forearms and love the scenes in old Hammer films where he rolls up his sleeves and gets to work.
One of my favorites is the one where he scolds an apprentice for not using a clean knife.

--J.D.
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  #329  
Old 03-05-2012, 04:20 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

"The Last Lovecraft: Relic of Cthulhu." I think even "Shock Treatment" was more coherent. At least "The Last Lovecraft" didn't have music.
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  #330  
Old 03-08-2012, 10:54 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Deep Red, a Dario Argento movie with David Hemmings. I had a huge crush on David Hemmings (in his prime) when I was in high school, so his bum in white pants is the biggest plus for me in this film. The minuses far outweigh it. On a personal note, the fact that David Hemmings tears a picture out a library book makes him a worse criminal that the murderer he is trying to find. That's just a librarian thing, though.

The biggest problem is that I have never yelled at so many characters so often that they are stupid to:

Walk into the creepy, decrepit mansion alone at night
Lock the door when you know the weirdo is already inside! (Still can't believe that one)
Walk toward the strange noise
Let down your guard when you know darn well there's a killer after you
Etc.

Also, the revealed killer is way too small to have very physically murdered the much larger people that were killed. Way too small.
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  #331  
Old 03-08-2012, 10:55 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ymir's blood View Post
I think I've got Horror Express on a DVD somewhere. IIRC it must be in the public domain as it was sold at the dollar store at Halloween. Is it boring bad, nauseating bad or funny bad?
Sorry, missed this. Boring bad except for about 5 minutes of Telly Savalas chewing scenery.
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  #332  
Old 04-16-2012, 06:45 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Real Steel - God, what an annoying, shitty movie. The only half decent thing about it were the robot fights.
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  #333  
Old 04-16-2012, 01:16 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

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Real Steel - God, what an annoying, shitty movie. The only half decent thing about it were the robot fights.
I told you! :unfrown:
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  #334  
Old 04-16-2012, 01:36 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

So you did. I forgot and now I have to live with the pain. :unsad:
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  #335  
Old 04-25-2012, 10:49 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Polar Storm, last night when I couldn't sleep :weirdtv:
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  #336  
Old 04-25-2012, 11:00 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

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Originally Posted by Ymir's blood View Post
I think I've got Horror Express on a DVD somewhere. IIRC it must be in the public domain as it was sold at the dollar store at Halloween. Is it boring bad, nauseating bad or funny bad?

It can't be all bad, it's got model trains in it.
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  #337  
Old 04-25-2012, 11:05 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janet View Post
I am a huge, longtime fan of cheap horror movies.
Have a look at 'The Haunting' 1963.
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  #338  
Old 04-26-2012, 03:40 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

I love The Haunting from 1963. I have very fond memories of introducing my best friend to it one Devil's Night, accompanied by the best unfiltered apple cider I've ever had.
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  #339  
Old 05-21-2012, 02:19 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Battleship. Full stop.


I mean, I expected it to be bad. I knew it was going to be bad. And it was.

So why did I pay perfectly good money to see it? Because I like battleships. The mere fact that the U.S.S. Missouri was going to be featured in it meant that I had to see it. The Iowa-class battleships are both the most impressive and perhaps the most beautiful warships ever built.


But to say that the movie was utterly predictable, completely unrealistic, and just plain ludicrous is the understatement of the century.





Unless you have a thing for warships, or for explosions -- and you have a really high tolerance for inept storytelling, I'd suggest you don't waste your money.
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  #340  
Old 05-29-2012, 07:10 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

The Ugly Truth

Worst movie ever. The end.
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  #341  
Old 05-29-2012, 07:38 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

God yes. So many levels of awful.
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  #342  
Old 06-11-2012, 12:12 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

So I finally got around to watch The Last Airbender (the movie), out of morbid curiosity.

It was worse than I ever imagined. It was one of the worst movies I've seen in the past few years. It was probably worse because I saw the show, but I would've been confused by the plot instead of confused by the awful changes they made to the plot, so I guess it's probably equally bad either way. Even just 4 minutes in I was groaning at how awful it was.

And why do all forms of bending seem ridiculously slow and awful? They'd be better off just getting some "arrowbenders" to shoot arrows at the various benders and kill them before they finished their stupid little dances to throw rocks at you slowly.

M. Night Shyamalan needs to be stopped. And they need to reboot the series with a director who hasn't sucked for over ten years.
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  #343  
Old 06-11-2012, 01:34 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by erimir View Post
M. Night Shyamalan needs to be stopped. And they need to reboot the series with a director who hasn't sucked for over ten years.
Why reboot it? It's already a TV series. What creative void is filled by compressing three seasons of extant animation into a couple of hours of live action?

It's all about the ka-ching. :capitalistpig:
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  #344  
Old 06-11-2012, 03:38 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by erimir View Post
M. Night Shyamalan needs to be stopped. And they need to reboot the series with a director who hasn't sucked for over ten years.
Why reboot it? It's already a TV series. What creative void is filled by compressing three seasons of extant animation into a couple of hours of live action?

It's all about the ka-ching. :capitalistpig:
I more mean that he shouldn't be allowed to touch it again, and if they do want to make another movie, they should ignore the first one.
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  #345  
Old 06-11-2012, 09:45 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Being without Netflix we did some Redboxing this week. Picked up Dream House in a spooky mood and also Daniel Craig. Spoilers below, but seriously read them because NO one should watch this movie.

So very, very bad. I spent the first half hour waiting and waiting for them to reveal the first "twist" which was so obvious it made my teeth itch.
The acting was aight, even if the writing was bad. They did what they could with it. I swear if that woman had said "Daddy's home" one more time I would have reached through the screen and slapped her.

They had actually worked it so that I could have seen a few possible endings which is a nice feeling because I usually see them from a mile away. I also thought they had sprinkled in a few nice red herrings that just couldn't possibly be where they were headed.


But the truly terrible thing is that when they got to the conclusion, it came so far from left field that it didn't make any damn sense. Worse than that, it made every action and motivation in everything that had come before completely impossible. Like at all. And the answer to the mystery was so very lame, it has only seen the light of celluloid in Lifetime movies of the week.



There are so many bad things in this movie I can't even list them all. At first I thought it would be just kinda lame, but then the ending was so bad it physically hurt. Sadly, that makes this not even an enjoyable heckle film because it is pretty mediocre up until the shit pile of an ending. So it fails at even having a potential of camp.

The only scary thing about this movie is that it was directed by Jim Sheridan who did My Left Foot and In the Name of the Father. For that to have happened there must be some kind of supernatural evil at work.
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  #346  
Old 06-11-2012, 05:07 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Demi needs to watch more wretched films and tell us about them.
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  #347  
Old 06-11-2012, 08:20 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Demi. Listen to the blood. This is your tens of dollars idea that we've been searching for.
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  #348  
Old 06-12-2012, 02:33 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Sounds like a great mind fuck.
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  #349  
Old 06-12-2012, 05:10 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

:giggle: Bort, I am not even going to lie. When I read his sweet comment I had to check and see if spoilerplate.com was taken. It is. Stupid EW.

But you are so right. I could be rolling in the Hamiltons! :rich:
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  #350  
Old 06-12-2012, 05:18 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Dude. Are you sitting down? Sit. Down.

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