A possible adoption situation!

LadyShea · #1 08-03-2005, 03:25 PM

Nothing even remotely guaranteed, but a local girl (5 degrees of separation between us) is pregnant and considering having the baby adopted. A friend of a friend told her about us, and she wants to talk to us about it!

I need to call our adoption attorney today to see how a private, non-agency situation like this works, and what I should/shouldn't say or ask during our meeting, but this just fell out of the sky and so I am kinda excited that we even have an opportunity to explore.

wildernesse · #2 08-03-2005, 03:38 PM

How exciting! I hope this exploration is fruitful.

viscousmemories · #3 08-03-2005, 03:40 PM

Wow, that's pretty wild Brandi. I'd probably be a little concerned about the natural mother living so close by, though. I mean I can see it being pretty hard for her to really let go and it would totally suck for her to try to repo the baby. Or whatever the technical term for that might be.

In any case, good luck!

livius drusus · #4 08-03-2005, 03:42 PM

It sounds hopeful, Brandi. Keeping my fingers crossed. :crossed:

LadyShea · #5 08-03-2005, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by viscousmemories

Wow, that's pretty wild Brandi. I'd probably be a little concerned about the natural mother living so close by, though. I mean I can see it being pretty hard for her to really let go and it would totally suck for her to try to repo the baby. Or whatever the technical term for that might be.

In any case, good luck!

Thanks for your good wishes and concern!

Alabama law allows/requires 48 hours post birth for the mother to commit to an adoption. I am aware that pregnancy and birth may change any person's mind, and am already mentally prepared for anything to happen. I see it as a possible opportunity only, and will not allow myself to be swept away by unreasonable expectations.

I am also very willing to have an open adoption with visitation and involvement of the birthmother. Since we have been and are considering fostering, and since we at one time considered surrogacy, I have had to adapt my thinking and imagine all kinds of child rearing scenarios where I may not be the one and only "mom". I don't know that "traditional" situations are the best or only way to raise a child, and in fact there seem to be few truly traditional families these days anyway.

Shake · #6 08-03-2005, 06:41 PM

Oh, that would be awesome, Brandi! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!

wei yau · #7 08-03-2005, 06:48 PM

Wishing you the best of luck!

RevDahlia · #8 08-03-2005, 07:43 PM

Very cool. A tentative and guarded hurray for you!

Lauri D · #9 08-03-2005, 07:53 PM

Wow... very potentially exciting! :yup:

A very similar situation occurred for my former neighbors and it was unexpected but ultimately positive.

Quote:

I am also very willing to have an open adoption with visitation and involvement of the birthmother. Since we have been and are considering fostering, and since we at one time considered surrogacy, I have had to adapt my thinking and imagine all kinds of child rearing scenarios where I may not be the one and only "mom". I don't know that "traditional" situations are the best or only way to raise a child, and in fact there seem to be few truly traditional families these days anyway.

This strikes me as an almost unbelievably rational and reasonable way of approaching things.

Keeping my fingers crossed too, for you guys. Toes to boot

JoeP · #10 08-03-2005, 07:58 PM

Brandi, that's thrilling news! :hotmoves:

When is the baby due?

Joe

JoeP · #11 08-03-2005, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by viscousmemories

to try to repo the baby. Or whatever the technical term for that might be.

I'll bet that's not the technical term

LadyShea · #12 08-03-2005, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeP

Brandi, that's thrilling news! :hotmoves:

When is the baby due?

Joe

No idea. My friend was so excited to relay the news to me she completely forgot to get any details. She basically just called to get my permission to get my phone number down the pipeline to the pregnant girl.

Roland98 · #13 08-03-2005, 08:13 PM

That sounds awesome, and seems like you have absolutely the right attitude about it. Here's to hopin'! :cincin:

LadyShea · #14 08-03-2005, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauri D

Wow... very potentially exciting! :yup:

A very similar situation occurred for my former neighbors and it was unexpected but ultimately positive.

Oh how cool!

I know a lady who was looking to adopt, and met and started a chat with a woman at a hotel pool. Turns out that woman's daughter was pregnant, and my acquaintance ended up adopting that baby....from a chance meeting at a hotel (gorgeous baby too, I got to meet her

).

The adoption attorney said to just let everyone know, because these things happen and the more people who know we are looking, the better our chances of one of these coincidences.

Quote:

This strikes me as an almost unbelievably rational and reasonable way of approaching things.

LOL, thanks, but you give me too much credit. Not so much rational and reasonable as necessary to prevent some kind of meltdown.

Legs · #15 08-03-2005, 08:58 PM

Good Luck LadyShea ~ all the best :smilehug:

HighOnHotSauce · #16 08-03-2005, 09:38 PM

I'm happy for you and hope all goes well.

Fencesitter · #17 08-04-2005, 12:18 AM

Good luck! I hope things work out for you.

It's just exciting to see new possibilities.

Fence

pescifish · #18 08-04-2005, 04:03 AM

I really hadn't thought about it much, but I could see how such serendipities could happen when it comes to adoption. As always, your approach seems on track for maximizing success and minimizing regret. As for the luck part of things: :crossed:

Bella · #19 08-04-2005, 04:59 AM

A cautious and guarded congratulations!

I've always said - and I'll say it again - that you are going to be one hell of an ass-cool mother.

Petra · #20 08-04-2005, 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyShea

I am also very willing to have an open adoption with visitation and involvement of the birthmother.

God, you're a beautiful person, Brandi.

Best wishes - I hope everything goes well. :yup:

Crumb · #21 08-04-2005, 06:01 AM

Sounds cool LadyS, I hope everything works out for you.

freemonkey · #22 08-04-2005, 03:39 PM

[QUOTE=LadyShea]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauri D

The adoption attorney said to just let everyone know, because these things happen and the more people who know we are looking, the better our chances of one of these coincidences.

I knew a couple who did this. They kept a mailing list and sent out little cards letting people know how things were going on a regular basis.

I really hope this works out for you, Brandi, I think you two will be great parents.

Talulah · #23 08-05-2005, 04:16 AM

Cool Brandi!

And if anyone else stumbles upon someone who happens to have extra babies lying around, you could send one my way.

Alex Bragi · #24 08-05-2005, 01:33 PM

"Not of my flesh, and not of my bone,
but very special and my very own.
Never forget, for even a minute,
You didn't grow under my heart but in it."

- unknown.

I hope so much it all goes well for you.

LadyShea · #25 08-05-2005, 02:49 PM

I found out last night I was mistaken about her being local, she lives in Asheville, NC. Doesn't change anything except we'll need to make a road trip to meet her.

And, I found out this same friend has another acquaintance who is pregant...but she believes she'll keep the baby. She's going to ask anyway.