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11-13-2008, 02:11 AM
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liar in wolf's clothing
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Frequently about
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Black spot on my asshole!!1!
Last night I did laundry and everything was fine until the end of the spin cycle when my machine starting going EEEBBBRRRFFFFUUUUUUUUUCKWEREALLGONNADIEeeeeeee. I hope it's just the belt so I can fix it. But it probably isn't. It's probably full of dark spirits or some shit.
Anyway I took the clothes out and put them in the dryer. Then when the dryer finished I took them out and found a gel pen. Fuck. Of course it was a load of darks composed mainly of work clothes. I assessed the damaged as I hung them. Two blue shirts, one of them very nice indeed, were ruined.
Or so I thought until tonight. I was just now ironing one of my top three favorite pairs of pants for tomorrow, and I found the titular bigass ink stain on the seat of my pants. So when everybody is looking at my ass they won't think "Damn, nice ass and nice pants," they'll be like "Damn, wtf is that black spot on his asshole?" And I don't know about you but I don't like strangers on the bus laughing at my asshole.
I tried some rubbing alcohol to get the ink out, but that didn't do anything, so I looked on the internets and found out that gel ink is DIFFERENT. I didn't even like this stupid pen, it's just the one that was in my desk drawer at work. This wouldn't be nearly so irksome if it was one of my well-liked pens. At least then the despair over the pen would overshadow the rage. No, it was some stupid punk-ass gel pen with its special fucking ink. Internets say that there's some miracle product called Amodex that also cures genital warts that will get the ink out. They say that they sell it at Office Max but we'll fucking see, won't we?
Oh, and I would totally post some pics if my digital camera hadn't crapped out this weekend. That was under a recall so I sent it back to Canon for free replacement, but I probably left out some little shit piece of paper with a dickprint on it so they won't even know it's mine. Probably.
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11-13-2008, 02:16 AM
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Admin of THIEVES and SLUGABEDS
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
So sphincter bleaching is for you after all.
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Thanks, from:
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Adam (11-13-2008), Anastasia Beaverhausen (11-13-2008), BrotherMan (11-13-2008), ChuckF (11-13-2008), curses (11-13-2008), Deadlokd (11-13-2008), Dingfod (11-13-2008), Doctor X (11-13-2008), erimir (11-13-2008), Farren (11-13-2008), Goliath (11-13-2008), JoeP (11-15-2008), Julie (11-13-2008), Kyuss Apollo (11-16-2008), lisarea (11-13-2008), Master Taran (11-13-2008), Pan Narrans (11-13-2008), Petra (11-16-2008), SharonDee (11-13-2008), Shelli (11-13-2008), Sock Puppet (11-13-2008), Stormlight (11-13-2008), viscousmemories (01-08-2011), Watser? (11-13-2008), wei yau (11-13-2008), Ymir's blood (11-13-2008)
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11-13-2008, 02:35 AM
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liar in wolf's clothing
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Frequently about
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
Ok that's it, I'm naming this spot livius.
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11-13-2008, 02:49 AM
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Strabismic Ungulate
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: college
Gender: Male
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
Now I have a target 
__________________
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11-13-2008, 04:23 AM
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChuckF
And I don't know about you but I don't like strangers on the bus laughing at my asshole.
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Well, at least this is one quote in the Quote Gen that's not about your schlong.
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11-13-2008, 04:25 AM
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liar in wolf's clothing
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Frequently about
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
Now I just need to crack wise about my taint and that's the ballgame.
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11-13-2008, 05:32 AM
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
Just tell them you were attacked by Klingons. . . .
--J.D.
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11-13-2008, 11:56 AM
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Fishy mokey
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Furrin parts
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
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11-13-2008, 12:16 PM
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Mr. Condescending Dick Nose
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Augsburg
Gender: Male
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChuckF
I'm naming this sphincter livius. May God bless her and all who sail in her.
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__________________
... it's just an idea
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11-13-2008, 03:35 PM
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Tellifying
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Northern Virginia
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
For those of you who would like to sing-a-along:
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Dr. ChuckF-ible
Laundry day
Missed the pen
Everything
Stained again
Wanna say
Fuck this shit
Shit fuck piss
Rambling.
With my bleach ray I will
Clean my taint
With my bleach ray I will make my taint
So blinding bright
The whole damn bus
Stops laughing
In my face
And my taint
Fucking pen
In my clothes
Special ink
Everywhere
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__________________
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11-14-2008, 05:56 PM
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A fellow sophisticate
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Cowtown, Kansas
Gender: Male
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
There's a little black spot on my son today.
__________________
Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
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11-14-2008, 06:03 PM
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liar in wolf's clothing
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Frequently about
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
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11-15-2008, 12:20 AM
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California Sober
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Silicon Valley
Gender: Bender
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
It's the same old thing as yesterday.
Fucking great. Now I have a new song to get stuck in my head. And it's totally going to morph into the Weird Al version.
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11-16-2008, 08:42 PM
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liar in wolf's clothing
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Frequently about
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
Washing machine: fixed for less than $20
Asshole: working on it, but optimistic
Digital camera: status unkown
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11-16-2008, 09:01 PM
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Mr. Condescending Dick Nose
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Augsburg
Gender: Male
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
__________________
... it's just an idea
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11-16-2008, 09:10 PM
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happy now, Mussolini?
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: location, location
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
Wow that's shitty luck, Chuck. And I feel your pain.
I recently had to retire my most favorite pair of work pants because I was eating KFC on the way home one night and some of the extra-crispy coating missed the napkin and landed on my pants and it being dark I didn't notice...left these stupid dark grease stains that look identical to jizzmak or like I pissed myself. Tried the regular ALL detergent, then Dawn heavy duty degreaser, Oxy Clean, Oxycontin, fricking everything and nothing worked.
They're oil-changing dirtshoveling muck out the stall pants now...I should sue KFC for defamation of pants I should.
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11-16-2008, 09:13 PM
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liar in wolf's clothing
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Frequently about
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
Quote:
Originally Posted by mickthinks
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Wrong. Because I'm cool and funny and wield a massive amount of political power,  will care about whatever stupid vapid bullshit I post.
I love that you hate that. Anyway, what are you, Uthgar's viral marketer now?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyuss Apollo
Wow that's shitty luck, Chuck. And I feel your pain.
I recently had to retire my most favorite pair of work pants because I was eating KFC on the way home one night and some of the extra-crispy coating missed the napkin and landed on my pants and it being dark I didn't notice...left these stupid dark grease stains that look identical to jizzmak or like I pissed myself. Tried the regular ALL detergent, then Dawn heavy duty degreaser, Oxy Clean, Oxycontin, fricking everything and nothing worked.
They're oil-changing dirtshoveling muck out the stall pants now...I should sue KFC for defamation of pants I should.
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Jizzmak and Jalad at Tanagra!
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11-16-2008, 09:15 PM
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happy now, Mussolini?
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: location, location
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
Temba! His pants OPEN!
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11-16-2008, 09:15 PM
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Mr. Condescending Dick Nose
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Augsburg
Gender: Male
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
Anyway, what are you, Uthgar's viral marketer now?
What an interesting question! ...
__________________
... it's just an idea
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11-16-2008, 09:16 PM
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liar in wolf's clothing
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Frequently about
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyuss Apollo
Temba! His pants OPEN!
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11-16-2008, 10:17 PM
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Coffin Creep
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: The nightmare realm
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ensign Steve
It's the same old thing as yesterday.
Fucking great. Now I have a new song to get stuck in my head. And it's totally going to morph into the Weird Al version.
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__________________
Much of MADNESS, and more of SIN, and HORROR the soul of the plot.
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11-17-2008, 07:13 AM
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California Sober
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Silicon Valley
Gender: Bender
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
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11-17-2008, 06:13 PM
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Just keep m'nose clean, egg, chips & beans, I'm always full of steam
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: so far out, I'm too far in
Gender: Bender
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChuckF
Washing machine: fixed for less than $20
Asshole: working on it, but optimistic
Digital camera: status unkown
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A gazillion bus patrons laughing at ChuckF's asshole: Priceless.
__________________
"Her eyes in certain light were violet, and all her teeth were even. That's a rare, fair feature: even teeth. She smiled to excess, but she chewed with real distinction." - Eleanor of Aquitaine
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11-18-2008, 03:12 AM
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liar in wolf's clothing
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Frequently about
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Re: Black spot on my asshole!!1!
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