Religious mass-email comebacks

[livius drusus]

Originally Posted by Adam

Clicky

[Ensign Steve]

Damn, I thought it would be someone else. Where's our wiki?

[livius drusus]

vm ate it.

[Adam]

That's pretty much who I figured it would be, probably because my knowledge of RRS founders is limited to "that guy who came here pimping the War on Easter" and "that girl with the boobs".

Who did you think it would be, ES?

[Ensign Steve]

I am not familiar with the players over there at RRS, but I do have a mental list of former IIers who are total whores. It is long and storied, I tell you.

[MonCapitan2002]

Originally Posted by Kevlar

Some of the people I can ignore, and do. My real problem is with my family, I still have to use politics with them. Their modus operandi is to take me off the mailing list when I complain, and then add my back in a couple of months.

Forget politics. It is the bane of human existance. They obviously don't respect you or your beliefs so you have no obligation to be nice to them.

[godfry n. glad]

So...What about EverlastingGodStopper and her contacts?

Look at Richard Carrier on Google, see what he has. Wherever he's at you'll probably find a collection of atheist materials.

I thought I'd heard that somebody was producing Chick Sales parodies online.

[godfry n. glad]

I've always wanted to carry a sheaf of bookmarks to hand out to folks being harangued by street-corner preachers and missionizers. Bookmarks that had directions of how and where to access great resources on freethought, doubt and skepticism....in their own time and on their terms.

[Shake]

Originally Posted by godfry n. glad

I don't know what happened to the old Internet Infidels library, but just having access to that to cherry pick for articles to send in return would work for me....but I don't have the problem. Family-wise, I lucked out. They are, philosophically, all over the apathist map, so we've devised a means of tolerance that happens to include oddballs like theists.

Well, you've reminded me that I have some old IIDB threads bookmarked which compiled some replies to some of the more popular "godspam" email messages of those days. Not sure how many are still circulating as my family has pretty much stopped sending me such crap. Many of those replies are much more well thought out than what you'll find at RRS.

Maybe you could post an example of what you're getting, Kev. We could always help pick them apart for you.

[Kevlar]

Great idea Shake, here is one I just got today from my aunt:

A minister passing through his church
in the middle of the day,
Decided to pause by the altar
and see who had come to pray.

Just then the back door opened,
a man came down the aisle,
The minister frowned as he saw
the man hadn't shaved in a while.

His shirt was kinda shabby
and his coat was worn and frayed,
the man knelt, he bowed his head,
Then rose and walked away.

In the days that followed,
each noon time came this chap,
each time he knelt just for a moment,
A lunch pail in his lap.

Well, the minister's suspicions grew,
with robbery a main fear,
He decided to stop the man and ask him,
'What are you doing here?'

The old man said, he worked down the road.
Lunch was half an hour.
Lunchtime was his prayer time,
For finding strength and power.


'I stay only moments, see,
because the factory is so far away;
as I kneel here talking to the Lord,
This is kinda what I say:

'I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN, SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHERS FRIENDSHIP AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN. DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS JIM CHECKING IN TODAY.'

The minister feeling foolish,
told Jim, that was fine.
He told the man he was welcome
To come and pray just anytime

Time to go, Jim smiled, said 'Thanks.'
He hurried to the door.
The minister knelt at the altar,
he'd never done it before.

His cold heart melted, warmed with love,
and met with Jesus there.
As the tears flowed, in his heart,
he repeated old Jim's prayer:

'I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN, SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHERS FRIENDSHIP AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN. I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME CHECKING IN TODAY.'

Past noon one day, the minister noticed
that old Jim hadn't come.
As more days passed without Jim,
he began to worry some.

At the factory, he asked about him,
learning he was ill.

The hospital staff was worried,
But he'd given them a thrill.

The week that Jim was with them,
Brought changes in the ward.
His smiles, a joy contagious.
Changed people, were his reward.

The head nurse couldn't understand
why Jim was so glad,
when no flowers, calls or cards came,
Not a visitor he had.

The minister stayed by his bed,
He voiced the nurse's concern:
No friends came to show they cared.
He had nowhere to turn.

Looking surprised, old Jim spoke
up and with a winsome smile;
'the nurse is wrong, she couldn't know,
that he's in here all the while
everyday at noon He's here,
a dear friend of mine, you see,
He sits right down, takes my hand,
Leans over and says to me:




'I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, JIM,
HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN, SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP, AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN.

ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY,
I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY, AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS CHECKING IN TODAY.'

If this blesses you, pass it on. Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

May God hold you in the palm of His hand
and Angels watch over you.

Please pass this page on to your friends & loved ones. If you aren't ashamed. Jesus said,

' If you are ashamed of me,' I will be ashamed
of you before my Father.'

If you are not ashamed, pass this on.

But only if you mean it.

So this is me ... Just Checking In











Live in peace and peace will live in you.

[Kevlar]

Here is a random atheist quote generator that might come in handy sometime:
Great Minds: Atheist Quotes

[Leesifer]

Kev, can't you just delete the godspam emails?

Why do you have to reply with an atheist response? It's not like you're going to convert them, the same as they are not going to convert you.

[SharonDee]

Originally Posted by Kevlar

Great idea Shake, here is one I just got today from my aunt:

If this piece had stopped there, I would have enjoyed it. Even though I don't believe that stuff, heartwarming stories glurge gets me right here .

It's the whole "I'll make you ashamed for being ashamed of Our Lord" tone that kills the thing.

[Plant Woman]

Most of these god-spams have some negative message in them and there it was at the end that you are a lowly worm if you don't pass it on.

[Kevlar]

Originally Posted by Leesifer

Kev, can't you just delete the godspam emails?

Why do you have to reply with an atheist response? It's not like you're going to convert them, the same as they are not going to convert you.

Ah, Lees, that would certainly be the mature thing to do... (you do realize who you're talking to, right?)

You are most certainly correct, and I don't plan on proselytizing anyone. These people keep throwing their unwanted opinion in my face, so I just want to return the favor in as peaceable a way as possible.

I'm not necessarily looking just for athiesm stuff, it could be naturalism, or anything else non-religious. And if it's warm and uplifting, it would be even better.

Originally Posted by SharonDee

If this piece had stopped there, I would have enjoyed it. Even though I don't believe that stuff, heartwarming stories glurge gets me right here .

It's the whole "I'll make you ashamed for being ashamed of Our Lord" tone that kills the thing.

Yeah, that's the part that I always find offensive: "Jesus really loves you (OR NOT!!!)". Which brings up the real motivation behind these religious people I know... fear of hell. Now if someone could find a decent way to assure people there is no hell, then I think there would be a LOT less people paying lip-service to this stuff.

[BracesForImpact]

Originally Posted by Kevlar

Great idea Shake, here is one I just got today from my aunt:

This one is easy. Insert pics in a return email with pictures of starving children, natural disasters, and human mayhem. Below each one type a little caption "This is Jesus, I'm just checking in. Everything looks fine here, carry on."

[Qingdai]

Wow, now I'm even happier that I had nothing to do with all the crazy atheist sites on line, after clicking on liv's link and following down the rabbit hole a bit.

I guess you could spam them back with fund raising letters from non-religious organizations, Doctors without borders and Outside In are two that come to mind.

Here's a good link from Outside In:
http://www.outsidein.org/oregonian042007.htm

[Shake]

I was going to say that there wasn't a good response for that one, Kev, but BfI seems to have it covered.

Had I gotten that one, I'd have just said:

[LadyShea]

This one is easy. Insert pics in a return email with pictures of starving children, natural disasters, and human mayhem. Below each one type a little caption "This is Jesus, I'm just checking in. Everything looks fine here, carry on."

[Kevlar]

I'll admit, I wish I could just delete these and forget about it... but it's the passive-aggressive thing that keeps getting to me. I've been an object of rejection for these people for a very long time, and it just keeps throwing salt in old wounds. So the problem with ignoring it is it will just keep building up until I explode.

My wife says I should just go black with my family as they are all 2,500 miles from here... but I don't know if I could maintain such an aggressive campaign. Becuase, at the end of the day, they are still my family and I have a built in compulsion to try and please them. You know, mommy issues...

[Adam]

Tsk, tsk...ashamed of Jesus, the lot of you.

[BracesForImpact]

Originally Posted by Adam

Tsk, tsk...ashamed of Jesus, the lot of you.

Lol. It's not Jesus I have a problem with. It's some of his followers. If he ever does come back for the second coming, after seeing his "fans" he may just crucify himself all over again.

[Qingdai]

I know if I came back and the thing I'd been tortured to death on was a symbol everywhere, I'd consider burning it down and starting over.

[Plant Woman]

Kevlar, I have the same kind of problems with my Christian family. The only one that acts like a half decent Christian (or what you would expect them to be with all their talk) is me and I'm not one. When someone in the family needs help, it is I that steps up to the plate, even though they treat me like crap. With all I'm going through these days, do you think the lot of them would give me a call to check in and see how I'm doing? Not a peep. So when I get stuff like that from a Christian, yeah it bugs me a lot. I'm trying not to let it bother me, but the hypocrisy is truly amazing.

As I always say, "you will know them by their fruits." They talk a good story, their actions are dismal.

[godfry n. glad]

To give credit where due, I think there are lots of christians who engage in Christian behavior, but they don't trumpet what others should be or do and expect that their actions will speak louder than words, no matter what the religious, or non-religious, who witness see. I get the impression that many who act with compassion do so in hope that their example will move others to act with compassion themselves, and that compassion transcends sectarian, theistic or non-, distinction.

But, as you note, there are plenty of people who hold no loyalty to any religious creed who do a great deal of good on a mundane level...at least that is my experience. The religious have no monopoly on do-goodery.