Apologies, but:
Quote:
Originally Posted by seebs
that's not a narcissistic temper tantrum. it does seem a bit like splitting, which is a fairly common trait in highly stressed people with some amount of trauma in their history, which a lot of people are these days.
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It's autism/ADHD with Hyperlexia, Alexithymia, Dyscalculia; C-PTSD and insomnia; plus I crashed a Harley, and aged, so my human body does not function, and my mind only functions in specific ways at certain times.
Trauma? Oh sure, as if any of the abuse or rapes had any effect on me. And that time with my dead husband, as if! Was it trauma, ha. He used a yellow heavy-duty electrical cord, not a rope. His hands were cold, his blue tongue protruded from his blue lips, just a little bit. How could this harm me or our son, who found him? How would these details bother us? They don't bother you, right.
Right. So why was I here before Monte Rael's birthday, and why am I here now on May 5, 2024?
Did I seek substance, support, or something tangible here on
? Yes.
Did I return to an old forum to ask questions of people who knew me and/or things, such as facts and/or information? Yes. Hence my posts.
Did I make a good post to begin with? No, due to disability and tech issues (poverty-related).
Did I have 15 tabs open when I made my posts here on
to ask the smart people some questions? Yes, but this Chromebook is hardly able to keep tabs open like that. I was preparing to back up my claims and assertions and ideas with supporting links, to show you why I said or thought a thing or not.
Did that man tell me to get off of his internet? Yes.
Am I a narcissist? Maybe. I fear I may be a narcissist, despite the diagnosed autism and PTSD. My domestic violence counselor (8 sessions left, now) and my psychiatrist (retiring after next session), who have met me in person and have been providing mental health treatment (it's their jobs, they have to deal with me), keep saying "no," I am not a narcissist, and I need to stop worrying that I am one. I am other things. I have other conditions. Not narcissism, so they say. How can they be sure? How can YOU be sure?
I do not believe them. Maybe I'm mistaken. You're smart. You've met me and asked me things, you know me. You know what you know the way you know it.
Did you ask me why I said words or posted words online? You know me, and you know how we do what we do. Did you ask?
Did you look?
Did I lie? No. A liar knows what lies he told. I don't lie deliberately.
Am I wrong? Oh yes. I am a wrong-ass, wrongdoing wrong person. How would I know what's right or wrong. Are you gonna tell me?
Am I right? Yeah, maybe, I dunno.
I'd rather be right than happy.
I'd rather be dead than be me or be this way or post like this or post here on
at all. But, breadcrumbs or something.
TO seebs: I really wish we could chat. You wrote code, C? C+? I'm not sure, but, you were right about so many things, every time we ever engaged, either in chat or on a forum, like
. You were right about something important, so I came back here.
Maybe this applies to you,
reader? How could I know?
I re-read my last post here, hence this "explanation."
TO seebs: specifically, and to
all: I can use Discord on my phone; the app barely works on my Chromebook. Are you using Discord, seebs? May we chat? I have algorithm-related ideas and so many other questions to ask you, and ideas to run by you. Please INBOX me or find me via
janicerael.gay. Facebook has most of my nonstop nonsense. But, guess where else. Ohhh gosh, seebs. Alla yall.
The Infidels unbanned my old account on IIDB so I could use my ELGS account to re-read some old threads in their archives. They let me make a new account so I could post and participate and ask the smart people my dumb questions.
Oh seebs, I wish you were in on the glove I threw down on LP's ground. I don't even know if I can finish what I started yesterday on IIDB.
Too many poverty problems, more Raels are gonna die off. Not me, not yet; I missed my turns already. I never should have turned 55. But my daughter, Gloria Mercedes Rael, who matters to no one but me and my dead husband's disabled brother, who lives here? Her tires are bald, her job lets her payday-loan her paycheck, so she's an indentured servant. Too bad about her PTSD. Too bad about her, however it happens.
Why would an atheist name their child Glorious Mercy?
How would I know? I only speak English.
TO ALL: I wish we were able to communicate, or that it mattered. If only there were a way to find me.
"She just wants attention. Perhaps we should label her as a whore and ignore her." That'll help as much as the 988 hotline, go ahead and never wonder why.
To the admin, vm. I am sorry I ruined your internet and fkd up your
forum again. But I know this is the only way our internets or interests may intersect. So, A B C ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.
What's it like to want?
How would I know? I'm just crazy and wrong. I am wrong and this post is wrong. You are wrong about me. You're wrong and I will prove it with a song.
The singing person is an authority on this topic. So am I. But we only speak English. That's why she's right and I'm right.
I'm wrong. This is why:
Everything's Made Up - YouTube
Sing this if
Re: Good King Trump
Linear Mode
