Weird Dream(s)

[Crumb]

Do they try to shove the tin cans up your nose?

[lisarea]

It was a personality test like they used to do, except instead of a questionnaire, they'd get cells from your nose, either through scraping your nostrils or having you exhale into a tube, and then run it through some device that would spit out a profile. You guys were all getting it done and making fun of your results.

[Ari]

Yes but did you ever find out if your doggies were secret scientologists?

[JoeP]

Originally Posted by lisarea

You guys were all getting it done and making fun of your results.

Let's make this happen.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Training day as a new flunkie at McDonald's. Some petty tyrant manager loudly fired my trainer and I had a few words with the douche in the office about his conduct and got fired too.

[specious_reasons]

This dream starts with a party in a park, supposedly the park in my hometown, but it's open and more like a beach than the actual park. I'm walking the park with an unknown woman friend who is the only person I know at this party. We come upon a dog eating "meth" from a large overturned jar. We're both concerned for the dog, so I distract the dog away from the meth (by sprinkling meth on the grass) and she picks up the jar and gets the police.

When the police come, I am briefly concerned that my friend, who is now holding the closed jar of illegal substance will be arrested, but the police smile and take the dog and the jar away.

We walk back to the house which is the center of the party, and I discover my friend has taken some of the "meth" and is now acting a bit strangely. She meets another friend, and then leaves.

Now I'm in a large room with a bunch of people who I don't know and are much younger than me. Plus, there's a minor personality I'd like to impress. The first round of conversation doesn't go well because I'm sweaty and smelly from walking outside. A kind young lady asks me a question, which I wind up turning into a long rambling old man type of story. It is an extended and not accurate variation of the real-life experience of going to the Jawbox concert and me accidentally buying a ladies sized t-shirt. Unfortunately, the minor personality I'm trying to impress cuts off the story right before the ironic twist ending and the entire group starts ignoring me.

Thankfully, this is when the dream ends, before it gets more awkward.

[JoeP]

Originally Posted by specious_reasons

which I wind up turning into a long rambling old man type of story

Have to admit I started skim-reading from here

show spoiler

[Ensign Steve]

I was standing outside a touch tank like you would see at a zoo or aquarium, not unlike Stingray Bay at the Phoenix Zoo. In fact, it looked so much exactly like this image, that I'm going to go ahead and say it was Stingray Bay at the Phoenix Zoo.



Across from me, there were a bunch of kids and also a bunch of puppies running around for some reason. Then one of the puppies fell in the water, and nobody on that end seemed to notice cuz there was so much chaos with all the kids and the other puppies. I could see it all from my end but I was too far away to do anything about it, so I started yelling "The puppy! Get the puppy!" So then a little girl understands what I'm saying and reaches in and pulls out the puppy. All in all, not that stressful of a dream.

I do watch a lot of videos on reddit of people saving drowning animals, and animals saving people, and animals saving other animals, so yeah I guess it makes sense.

[But]

I had another afternoon lucid dreaming trip. I think I'm starting to get the hang of it. When I can't sleep but I don't want to get up because I feel that I haven't got enough sleep and I'm trying to get more, I try the same routine, just waiting for random words to pop into my head. Not to dwell on them or repeat them, just notice them. Then some faint images go along with them and after a while I'm asleep. It was such a light sleep that I could check my position in bed to make sure it's comfortable and didn't block blood flow. It was extremely vivid and pure hour long entertainment. It's mind-boggling what the brain can do, creating complete realities in real time.

In a non-lucid dream I always get lost because I'm constantly worried about one thing or another, thinking it's real. In a lucid one there is the choice whether you want to control it and push it in a certain direction or let go and just let it happen. The best part was zooming around above a city without a plane or anything.

[lisarea]

Well, first, we were out in the backyard doing stuff. There was a huge structure back there. Like there was a metal shelter running the length of the yard, but with a bunch of tarps and even blankets and stuff stuffed along the bottom, like it was flooding or something, but it wasn't. It was just dry and dusty, and I was digging holes and trying to find things to plant in them, but everything was dead. I was getting ready to go inside and try to find something there when someone asked if the dogs were outside because there was a CGI cat and bird in the yard, both bright red, and the bird angrily extended its neck about two feet, then they both hopped over the fence.

Then, I saw a blue jay that had these weird like boats on its feet and it barely managed to fly into the neighbor's yard, so I asked the neighbor if she wanted me to come over and try to get those things off the blue jay, but she said that was for rehabilitation and told me a really sad story about how this was really affecting his self image as a virile young blue jay and she didn't know if he'd survive this, and I saw it listening because it was a very smart blue jay you could tell, and I thought, "Should you be saying this in front of him?"

Then she made me come over anyway, under some pretense I've forgotten, and it was some big gathering. All the women had to wear dress shirts with brown tights and fake dicks and walk around like we were men with boners for some reason, and my fake dick was really long and thin. I think I made it out of a cardboard towel roll or something. But then it was like we were supposed to be doing some whole thing, like maybe living at some compound for some kind of gender retreat where we had to be men for some reason, and we were getting in line for something.

But then my thumb started bleeding really bad just from a tiny hangnail or something and would not stop, and I asked if anyone had a bandage, and they all just rolled their eyes at me and went UGH, so I went back home next door to find my band aids. But instead of my normal kinds, there were these really fancy kinds that were super thick and in really precise, fussy sizes made by a company that also made sturdy, comfortable braces and wraps. These doubled as building toys, so someone had built a whole fort out of those, with bridges and everything. I think it was some multilevel marketing thing because there was a demonstration going on for them, but then there were also naysayers whispering about how yeah, it's $5 now, but then that connecting part for the bridge was $35.

I could not get that bandaid open, and it didn't seem to have any adhesive on it anyway.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Opus from Bloom County was just launching an invasion force of Australian chickens on all major nations and I had to write this down immediately.

[Sock Puppet]

God, it's about time!

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

While pulling dandelions from the lawn one weird large weed pulled to reveal a large mass of earthworms and octopus tentacles and one tentacle slowly reached out of the hole so I smacked it with the garden shovel and it retreated and I woke up and now whenever I close my eyes all I can see is that Lovecraftian pit of sushi and fishing bait.

[JoeP]

That's p awesome

[Crumb]

Your house was built on an elder god burial ground.

[Qingdai]

I keep having dreams about the same (not a real house), first my oldest friends lived in it, then my husband and me even though we couldn't afford it and the former owner wouldn't let us use the attached boat garage.

Night before last we had turned it in to a massive communal living place. It's pretty sweet we should do that.

I've had those dreams over the last several years. "OH THAT house again"

[lisarea]

We bought a HUGE bottle of morphine from Craigslist, and this big lumbering man came to deliver it. The company name was "Don Cares" and under that it said, "Planting Trees in the Denver Metro Area since [I don't remember the year]". It took me a while to get it, but I guess they started out selling weed.

Afterward, Matlock and I were sitting on lawn chairs in the back yard, and I was asking him if he remembered what we needed all that morphine for, when I noticed a plane wing above us, I said, "LOOK!" It crashed to the ground a couple houses away, followed by the plane.

The only other part I remember was that I was trying to make sourdough bread and screwing it up, but that's one of those 'ripped from the headlines' kind of things, because I am trying to make sourdough bread and screwing it up in awake life as well.

[But]

We bought a HUGE bottle of morphine from Craigslist, and this big lumbering man came to deliver it. The company name was "Don Cares" and under that it said, "Planting Trees in the Denver Metro Area since [I don't remember the year]". It took me a while to get it, but I guess they started out selling weed. Later on, I learned that Don Cares also sells heroin and meth. I had to let my mom know I was in a major truck stop parking lot in the wee morning hours. She is a sort of drug addict. Whenever the cops show up, she tries to stab the cops in the face. When they finally came, the last time I saw her, she was sitting in the back seat of the car, an egg nog and soda on the coffee table in front of her. I was taking her to the hospital that afternoon for whatever drug tests she refused to take.

When the cops stopped the car, she went to the window and tried to run them down. I think she thought they were, you know, faking it because she was aggressive and yelling at them. I think the only reason they got off was that another cop who was driving by stopped the car and hit her on the window with his car. He was swearing at her all the time, trying to get her to calm down, and that's the only thing that got her to calm down. I was just waiting for her to just snap and start getting into a physical altercation with him. She finally turned around and I said 'she's on her period.' She was so outraged, she looked at me like I was an idiot, and she started screaming at me to keep my mouth shut."

Some people (including his sister), hoping to diffuse the situation, made a concerted effort to laugh at the situation.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Road trip with a friend in the USA somewhere inland. Arrived at a wedding in the courtyard of some low rise brick townhouse complex. Went for a stroll through the neighborhood and everyone had USA! doormats and flags in every window. Went into a door and found I'd just stumbled into the dining room of a high functioning dementia home but the doors still locked on the inside. I found staff and mentioned what happened and they had some incident report to fill out because of my hapless entry and I was amenable because I just roll that way and it turned into a bureaucratic nightmare from department to department where it became apparent I was being pranked. Throughout I was trying to send a text to my friend and getting frustrated. At the end some douchebag in the office there bragging about the whole clownshow, I was sickeningly polite unwilling to give him satisfaction, then made my way out of the confusing labyrinth of a building to the opposite side from the parking lot. And woke up.

The best part was the architectural details at all points of this vivid dream with an actual conclusion of sorts.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Double.

[Ensign Steve]

I dreamed I was hanging out with Lin-Manuel Miranda, and it was a totally nice dream, and I wish I could remember any of the details.

We were working on some group project, not at school but some kind of community volunteer thing, and we were randomly assigned to work together. He was really nice and it was a lot of fun working with him. The main thing I remember is I couldn't decide whether to tell him that I knew who he was, but that was about it.

[lisarea]

I was in this small town (where every single restaurant had pizza), and other things happened that I forgot. The important thing is that there was a nearby volcano that had erupted, and they were water cooling the lava, and the water was running down the gutters and into the storm drains. Geraldo Rivera was there with a camera crew coercing children into playing in the storm drains, then he filmed them and said to the camera, "Where are the parents?"

[JoeP]

Were there any NZ soldiers retrieving dead bodies from the storm drains?

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Originally Posted by lisarea

I was in this small town (where every single restaurant had pizza), and other things happened that I forgot. The important thing is that there was a nearby volcano that had erupted, and they were water cooling the lava, and the water was running down the gutters and into the storm drains. Geraldo Rivera was there with a camera crew coercing children into playing in the storm drains, then he filmed them and said to the camera, "Where are the parents?"

Springboarding off this, I would like to mention that even though pizza was (or claims to have been) invented in Napoli*, they didn't develop it any further. All I can say about pizza is USA USA USA. With a side shout out to Venice.

*you know, right next to Pompeii

[Ensign Steve]

So many weird and fucked-up dreams this morning (maybe due to all the filet mignon and vino and chocolate I had yesterday), that I don't really remember. It's probably a good thing that I don't remember much, considering the parts I do remember. A woman put her finger in my butt and then I was also going to prison, yet somehow that was unrelated to the butt exam. I wasn't in prison yet, I was just "going to prison" because I had a bunch of stuff on me I shouldn't have had ... maybe drugs?