Miscellany - Page 4

viscousmemories · #76 08-26-2006, 07:12 AM

Well I don't want to appear insensitive, but if they have to amputate I hope you'll consider letting us sell your taxidermied foot on eBay.

lisarea · #77 08-26-2006, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dingfod

Oh, did I say feet? I meant feet.

Oh, man.

I am so going to Glamour Shots.

I'll show you, Mr. Dingfod! I'LL SHOW YOU!

lisarea · #78 08-26-2006, 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by viscousmemories

Well I don't want to appear insensitive, but if they have to amputate I hope you'll consider letting us sell your taxidermied foot on eBay.

OH!

This reminded me that I had an idea a while back!

So, like, you know how you're legally required to have your correct weight on your state ID within 20# or whatever, so they can identify you when you become a criminal?

If I only had ONE LEG, though, I would all weigh some totally different weight than I looked like, so I could all get away with the lie on my driver's license, and then I could, like, do a lot of crimes and things, but because they would be looking for a skinnier person than me, I would totally get away with all of it!

So yeah. Maybe it is time for me to set my plans in motion.

Hey. If I eat my amputated foot but no other meat, what kind of a vegetarian do you call that?

Dingfod · #79 08-26-2006, 07:57 AM

A coyote in a trap?

Corona688 · #80 08-26-2006, 08:31 AM

Got a flat tire on the long trip home from small town Sask today. It blew out, fortunately a back wheel not a front one. Looking at it, it was weird -- it blew out on the sides. Why would it do that?

Dingfod · #81 08-26-2006, 08:48 AM

Running low air pressure in the tire for too long causes heat to build up in the sidewalls, eventually giving way.

Smilin · #82 08-26-2006, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beyelzu

i have grown a beard and i shaved my head after growing it out for a while after i got sunburned at sixflags.

now i really look like a biker, which is cool cuz they are so respected by our society in general.

Bey, got pictures of that by chance?

I've toyed with the idea of shaving my head too, since my hair is thinning already. My wife sais I don't have the head suited for the shaved look. But dammitt if my hair is all gonna fall out, why not just do it anyways is my question.

Crumb · #83 08-29-2006, 07:21 PM

To all coffee drinking dumbshits: There is no X in espresso!

That is all.

lisarea · #84 08-29-2006, 11:03 PM

You can use shaving cream to clean cat vomit out of your carpets.

Crumb · #85 08-29-2006, 11:15 PM

Sure you can use it, but does it work?

pescifish · #86 08-29-2006, 11:21 PM

I would not recommend the reverse, however. Cat vomit might be effective as shaving cream, but the fur balls could get in the way.

Kyuss Apollo · #87 08-29-2006, 11:31 PM

The cats should be strapped down so they can't turn around to groom and consume their hair, and force fed a diet entirely of cream. Then the cat vomit would have the consistency we are all looking for in a quality shaving cream.

Crumb · #88 08-29-2006, 11:33 PM

You could make a fortune selling cat vomit cream.

Shelli · #89 08-30-2006, 12:54 AM

pescifish · #90 08-30-2006, 03:06 AM

I'd like to see a fortune-telling cat vomit. Does it read the effluvia like tea leaves or something?

quiet bear · #91 08-30-2006, 03:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lisarea

You can use shaving cream to clean cat vomit out of your carpets.

you can also use shaving cream to shave cats.

lisarea · #92 08-30-2006, 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quiet bear

Quote:

Originally Posted by lisarea

You can use shaving cream to clean cat vomit out of your carpets.

you can also use shaving cream to shave cats.

NO YOU CAN'T. You have to use a razor.

I've been around the block a time or two.

quiet bear · #93 08-30-2006, 03:19 AM

oops. Sorry.

In my defense, I've never shaved a cat.

lisarea · #94 08-30-2006, 03:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quiet bear

oops. Sorry.

In my defense, I've never shaved a cat.

Well, neither have I.

Next time, though. Next time.

1. Shaving cream
2. Razor

Anything else?

quiet bear · #95 08-30-2006, 03:30 AM

3. Gloves
4. Heavy sleeves

Plant Woman · #96 08-30-2006, 07:40 AM

Declaw the cat first, then muzzle it.

LadyShea · #97 08-30-2006, 01:08 PM

I don't think it was a mosquito that bit you lisa. Just saying.

lisarea · #98 08-30-2006, 08:19 PM

You know how sometimes something makes you laugh so fast you don't have time to prepare and you choke yourself a little bit?

lisarea · #99 08-30-2006, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyShea

I don't think it was a mosquito that bit you lisa. Just saying.

Yeah, I'd normally think that too, except that I've had known mosquito bites swell me up really bad before. There was one time I busted a mosquito biting me on the eyebrow, and the whole area swelled up like a golf ball. I couldn't get my eye open for many hours, and I looked like Quasimodo for a couple-few days after that. I also had my hand swell up once so it was about twice as fat as normal and I couldn't bend my wrist, and I caught the mosquito in the act on that one, too.

Dingfod · #**100** 08-30-2006, 08:31 PM

My sister, Darlar, has the same reaction to mosquito bites as you, lisapea. Whereas, I usually have almost none. Nor does her husband, which aggravates her to no end.