Waiting till Marriage

Artemis Entreri · #1 10-31-2006, 01:10 AM

Well here's a topic that I had thought was pretty much irrelevant in these times. But I've recently met someone who is saving herself for marriage.
Any thoughts on waiting for marriage?
Would you marry a virgin?

Shelli · #2 10-31-2006, 01:11 AM

To each his/her own.

quiet bear · #3 10-31-2006, 01:19 AM

I guess to some people that may mean something. What, I don't know. Does it make a person more virtuous? More trustworthy? More faithful? No. It just makes them a virgin.

I personally don't get why, to some people, it's way up there on the priority list.

Legs · #4 10-31-2006, 01:22 AM

I'm waiting until my 3rd marriage.

Shelli · #5 10-31-2006, 01:23 AM

*snort*

lisarea · #6 10-31-2006, 01:26 AM

Virginity is just about the weirdest concept ever.

quiet bear · #7 10-31-2006, 01:29 AM

And I've always found the term 'saving myself for marriage' to be most disquieting.

It has a really weird Carrie/Stepford-ish vibe to it. Something just not right with it, to me. Like there's already this fixation that sex is going "make me a woman/man".

Adam · #8 10-31-2006, 01:29 AM

I like to tell people I'm saving myself for marriage, then let the whole 'divorced' thing slip a bit later and see how long it takes them to double-take.

Artemis Entreri · #9 10-31-2006, 01:32 AM

I've not had lots of partners but I've been with enough to realize that there are lots of differences in sex with one person to the next, so the idea of getting married without knowing how sexually compatable you are is kinda scarry. Sex isn't the most important thing but it is important.

quiet bear · #10 10-31-2006, 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Artemis Entreri

I've not had lots of partners but I've been with enough to realize that there are lots of differences in sex with one person to the next, so the idea of getting married without knowing how sexually compatable you are is kinda scarry. Sex isn't the most important thing but it is important.

You know, another angle I just thought of, is, marrying a virgin might be so appealing to some, because they may think they can mold that person, sexually.

lisarea · #11 10-31-2006, 01:37 AM

One time, many years ago, I was taking the LM and one of his friends to a Sally Beauty Supply store so they could get some blue hair dye, and some lady stopped me and tried to get me to sign a virginity pledge. I kept thinking she meant them, but she didn't.

I totally should have signed it. I think she was even giving out little certificates. I could have, like, hung that up in my office at work.

Artemis Entreri · #12 10-31-2006, 01:39 AM

Haven't thought about it that way.
I would think that a virgin might be harder to mold that way.
I know its a stereotype, but I figure someone who waits till marriage isn't going to be a very sexually open person, even after they finally have sex.

Legs · #13 10-31-2006, 01:40 AM

We have discussed this before, I am not really sure what virginity is. Are you still a virgin for giving receiving oral? anal? mutual masterbation, sounds like semantics to me.

godfry n. glad · #14 10-31-2006, 01:42 AM

Would you buy a car without taking it for a test drive?

I think it's an important thing to know about a person you're promising to spend the rest of your life with.

But that's just me.

Artemis Entreri · #15 10-31-2006, 01:46 AM

But you could counter that with
would you buy a used car that with no odometer and no car report (no telling how many previous owners)
or would you rather have a brand new one?

yguy · #16 10-31-2006, 01:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quiet bear

I guess to some people that may mean something. What, I don't know.

It means she has more self-respect than to give herself to some slob who cares for nothing so much as how good she can make him feel for a few minutes.

quiet bear · #17 10-31-2006, 01:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Artemis Entreri

Haven't thought about it that way.
I would think that a virgin might be harder to mold that way.
I know its a stereotype, but I figure someone who waits till marriage isn't going to be a very sexually open person, even after they finally have sex.

Ah, but see, on the other hand, if a person has no sexual experience what so ever, perhaps anything they are 'taught' may be accepted as the norm. 'Every body does it like this', you know?

I mean, if that's going on in the back of a person's mind, if that's what's motivating them to marry this other person, then it's going to be a bad relationship. Real bad.

I would rather marry a woman who has sexual experience and knows where her limits are.

Artemis Entreri · #18 10-31-2006, 01:50 AM

While I think that a woman doesn't have to be a virgin to prevent herself from "giving herself to some slob...", I do think it is a incredible display of self-control especially in the culture today.

quiet bear · #19 10-31-2006, 01:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yguy

Quote:

Originally Posted by quiet bear

I guess to some people that may mean something. What, I don't know.

It means she has more self-respect than to give herself to some slob who cares for nothing so much as how good she can make him feel for a few minutes.

Or, she could have been ruled with an iron fist growing up and taught sex is dirty.

There's lots of reasons why, I suppose.

Artemis Entreri · #20 10-31-2006, 01:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quiet bear

Or, she could have been ruled with an iron fist growing up and taught sex is dirty.

This is the reason I think a virgin (one who marries as a virgin) would be hard to mold sexually.
I wouldn't want to marry anyone who thought that way, virgin or not.

quiet bear · #21 10-31-2006, 01:58 AM

There's also the ever present religious aspect.

Anyway, we're getting off topic, discussing the 'whys' of it.

yguy · #22 10-31-2006, 01:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quiet bear

Quote:

Originally Posted by yguy

Quote:

Originally Posted by quiet bear

I guess to some people that may mean something. What, I don't know.

It means she has more self-respect than to give herself to some slob who cares for nothing so much as how good she can make him feel for a few minutes.

Or, she could have been ruled with an iron fist growing up and taught sex is dirty.

That's certainly a possibility, but any guy who thinks he's doing such a woman a favor by banging her out of wedlock is kidding himself at best.

Artemis Entreri · #23 10-31-2006, 02:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yguy

That's certainly a possibility, but any guy who thinks he's doing such a woman a favor by banging her out of wedlock is kidding himself at best.

thank you mr. obvious

Legs · #24 10-31-2006, 02:03 AM

Are you a virgin, yguy?

quiet bear · #25 10-31-2006, 02:05 AM

With a can't miss line like "banging her out of wedlock", there's no way yguy is a virgin.