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  #601  
Old 09-27-2017, 06:03 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Samurai Cop

A legendary bad film, recently done by "We Hate Movies". It's been on my list for a while but the podcast of it bumped it to #1 on my "to see" list.

The ADR was terrible. The hero of the movie wears an obvious wig from cut to cut of the movie. Robert Z'Dar is the bad guy. There's little sense in the plot. There are only 5 cops in the city. People talk when they shouldn't and don't when they should, most everything seems to be one take, regardless of how badly an actor has stumbled over the lines.

And yet, it's entirely entertaining. It's nearly a perfect good-bad movie.
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  #602  
Old 10-26-2017, 01:05 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Geostorm. Ridiculous paint by numbers bollocks that I still found fun. Leave brain in parking lot.
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  #603  
Old 11-11-2017, 03:17 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

I've been watching movies on Amazon Prime, so the crappy movies I've seen are too numerous to enumerate.
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  #604  
Old 12-15-2017, 06:25 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Speaking of crappy movies on Amazon Prime, we watched "The Circle". OMFG what a piece of shit! :pokepoo: We fucking loved it.

Emma Watson is a small-town chick (with a terribly fake American accent) who lands a jerb at Google The Circle. She gets sucked in to the Silicon Valley Kool-Aid bubble like immediately, and then gets all her small-town family and friends involved and violates the hell out of their privacy. Predictably, it all goes horribly wrong.

The cast includes Tom Hanks, Patton Oswalt as a skeezy lawyer, and Fin from Star Wars (I think). Her mother is that awesome red-headed chick from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and Mr. Holland's Opus, and the late Bill Paxton plays her father and gives a stellar performance as a man suffering from MS. The blue-faced chick from Guardians of the Galaxy (sans blue face) plays her friend, a high-achieving Australian pill head. By all accounts it feels impossible that a movie with this cast could be so horrible. Yet here we are.

F++++++! Would recommend! :popcorn:
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  #605  
Old 12-21-2017, 05:26 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Hacksaw Ridge

Fucking Mel Gibson, man. Seriously. :laugh:

Also: I'm glad we finally acknowledge that no African-Americans were fighting in WW2. Finally!

Fuck you Mel Gibson, you racist asshole.
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  #606  
Old 12-22-2017, 02:45 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Well, unfortunately, the truth of WWII history is that the units weren't desegregated yet. Truman didn't desegregate the military until 1948. Thus, while black people did fight, they wouldn't have been in Desmond Doss' unit, the 77th Infantry Division. Pictures of that unit only show white people. Mel Gibson is a genuinely anti-Semitic, racist, and misogynistic PoS, but the portrayal of the 77th is historically accurate and can't be blamed on him. Or, in short, "Fuck the government of the United States." :cangry:
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  #607  
Old 12-22-2017, 06:03 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Well, it annoyed me. As did the whole movie. Fuck Gibson and the Jesus he rode in on.
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  #608  
Old 12-22-2017, 07:06 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

"Absolutely Anything" - Starring Simon Pegg and Kate Beckinsale, directed by Terry Jones. and has Robin Williams' final performance.

All this pedigree, and the movie is fundamentally boring and unfunny.

Simon Pegg's character gets power to do absolutely anything. It's a test from aliens to see if the Earth is worthy of being entered into the galactic supreme council. Failure means the destruction of Earth.

Unfortunately, this movie is cheap and uninspired. Most of of the humor in the movie involves Pegg's character getting his requests misinterpreted - and what's done is cheap looking and lacking in imagination.

I read Nathan Rabin's My World of Flops about it, and I still watched. There must be something wrong with me.
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  #609  
Old 12-22-2017, 08:32 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormlight View Post
Well, it annoyed me. As did the whole movie. Fuck Gibson and the Jesus he rode in on.
Anyone else have actors or directors who are so repugnant outside of the movies they are involved with that you can no longer enjoy those movies, no matter how good they are? Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson are two of those for me.
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  #610  
Old 12-28-2017, 11:34 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Definitely Kevin Spacey.
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  #611  
Old 01-04-2018, 07:43 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Just watched The Greasy Strangler.

Holy shit.

I can barely process what I saw. It's relentlessly weird, disgusting and surreal. It's not a crappy movie exactly, but it's making all sorts of choices. I wouldn't blame anyone for hating it. Heck, I'm pretty sure I hated it.

Do not watch this if you have any aversion to seeing copious amounts of grease, lard, oil and greasy food. I can watch all sorts of things, but dip a hot dog in a pail of grease, and I'm covering my eyes and squirming.
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  #612  
Old 01-04-2018, 03:15 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingfod View Post
Anyone else have actors or directors who are so repugnant outside of the movies they are involved with that you can no longer enjoy those movies, no matter how good they are? Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson are two of those for me.
Woody Allen
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  #613  
Old 01-04-2018, 07:48 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by specious_reasons View Post
Just watched The Greasy Strangler.

Holy shit.
Told you so!
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  #614  
Old 01-19-2018, 05:58 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Bright - Netflix "Original" with Will Smith

We even bother if you don't want to do it at least reasonably interesting. Boring nonsense. And also boring.
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  #615  
Old 01-19-2018, 06:07 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

What did you dislike about it?
I liked it, although it certainly had its problems.
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  #616  
Old 01-19-2018, 08:35 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

It's generic and boring. With the subject matter this could have been actually interesting. As it stands this was just one of hundreds of boring buddy cop movies. This should have been a 45 minute pilot for a series, frankly. But as it stands it has a huge budget (USD 90 Million I think) and not much to show for it.

I give it this: it's not quite as god awful as Suicide Squad (from the same "director") but it's close.
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  #617  
Old 01-19-2018, 01:02 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormlight View Post
Bright - Netflix "Original" with Will Smith

We even bother if you don't want to do it at least reasonably interesting. Boring nonsense. And also boring.
I liked it.
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  #618  
Old 01-19-2018, 02:06 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Bright was terrible. omg. Will Smith WTF, buddy?

Also 400 Days and Infinity Chamber (also Netflix) TERRIBLE.

but Spectral I didn't think was too bad for a Netflix Original.
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  #619  
Old 01-21-2018, 05:51 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Rewatching it I think I know part of why I liked it, I haven't seen a buddy cop movie in quite awhile so it's a little fresher, but also the supernatural elements made the crazy insanity of the situations believable. I have a hard time believing every gangster and mob boss is out for this drug stash or random girlfriend but a nuclear bomb that grants wishes, now that I can see a bunch of people risking their lives and waging a small war over. It also made the hyper LA gangsta world more believable if these are different species with drastically different lives from the start (Looking at the directors filmography I noticed I haven't seen any of his movies before and it appears like he loves the LA buddy cop genera).
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  #620  
Old 01-23-2018, 09:19 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Swiss Army Man

OK, so it's not a crappy movie. It's actually quite a good movie. I just kinda hated it.

This is the "Harry Potter's farting corpse movie". No complaints about Daniel Radcliffe. though. I didn't even mind Paul Dano. They inhabited the characters they were given.

The basic plot is that Hank (Dano) is stranded on an island. As he's just about to give up, Manny's (Radcliffe) corpse floats in view. This corpse gives him the tools to get back to the mainland and learn some lessons about life. The NYT reviewer (Jeannette Catsoulis) wrote after describing the movie, "On paper, this can all sound unbearably precious." I disagree. On film, it was unbearably precious.

The problem is, I hated Dano's character. He's a loser whose entire motivation for returning to civilization is to see the lady he surreptitiously took at picture of on the bus. It's creepy behavior which isn't revealed to be any better as the movie goes on. On the plus side, it's not rewarded or looked on as anything but creepy behavior, mostly.

Ironically, I could accept a movie about a guy who uses a corpse as an all-purpose tool to survive, I could accept every fantastical thing the corpse could do, but some of the plot holes took me right out of the movie. I figuratively slapped myself on the forehead when


Oh well, it has one thing going for it: the farting corpse of Harry Potter.
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  #621  
Old 01-24-2018, 06:39 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Four Rooms

Tim Roth overacts the fuck out of Ted the Bellboy, who is the connecting character to 4 stories, directed by 4 different directors, set in 4 different rooms of a hotel on New Year's Eve.

Two of the stories are basically unfunny and not very interesting. One is stylish and amusing, and one is directed by and starring Quentin Tarantino. This is peak QT, and he's every bit as annoying as you'd expect for 15 minutes, but the ending kind of redeems it.

This is a movie which I should know better than to watch, but my unhealthy fascination with crap won out.
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  #622  
Old 02-02-2018, 02:24 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

National Lampoon's Movie Madness/Going to the Movies

This movie is so lazy and cheap that they didn't change the title card after they retitled the movie. Supposedly, this was National Lampoon's follow up to Animal House, but it was so terrible it was shelved and quietly released on video.

It's another anthology movie. This one has three 30 minute movie parodies (a fourth was dropped by the studio), each one a specific genre of movie.

It's second only to The Underground Comedy Movie as being the least funny movie I've ever seen.
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  #623  
Old 02-06-2018, 02:22 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Tough Guys Don't Dance

Norman Mailer convinced Cannon Films to allow him to direct one of his novels. That should give you the basic idea. This clip should tell you everything else you need to know:


There's a complicated plot where a reprehensible human played by Ryan O'Neal is involved with various criminal activities to various degrees, and comes out of a month-long bender only to discover that the chief of police is married to his former lover, and he's being framed for murder. His dying father is the only person he can trust, and helps him unravel the whole sordid affair.

Weird choices abound, like the "Oh man! Oh God! Oh Man!" scene, or casting Penn Jillette as a hypocritical fire and brimstone preacher who swings.

It's almost a "has to be seen to be believed" kind of a movie.
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  #624  
Old 03-01-2018, 05:02 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Psycho Beach Party

An homage to 60s teen beach party and horror movies. Lauren Ambrose plays Florence who is a square teen who wants to surf and find love, but also happens to have multiple personalities. There's a killer on the loose, attacking teens, and Florence is concerned it's her. Like the movies it spoofs, there are lots of subplots and red herrings to fill out the paper thin main plot. It's kind of flat for a spoof, but it's earnest and colorful and mildly enjoyable.

I think the reason why this got put on my queue is because this has one of Amy Adams' first roles. She is the popular girl and romantic rival. There's a dance off between Adams and a B-movie star which is just stupid fun.

While it's quite an OK movie, it's probably not worth seeking out.
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  #625  
Old 03-30-2018, 04:58 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

I've probably told this story before, but when I was a little kid, I was well aware of when I was being sheltered from adult stuff, and would kind of obsess over trying to figure stuff out. To this end, someone gave me one of those old-timey scrapbooks, so for some time, I'd cut out comic strips that had jokes I didn't understand in them, on the assumption that they were all dirty or scandalous in some way, so that eventually I could go back and understand them.

Needless to say, this was the comic pages, and the reason I didn't get the jokes wasn't the jokes required some special adult knowledge, but because they just weren't funny. So I had a scrapbook filled with all the worst newspaper comics of my childhood.

On what I now understand was probably a similar theme, I remember when the movie Goodbye Girl came out, and it was kind of a big deal with TV commercials and ads and stuff, and I remember my mom kind of making Marge Simpson noises when she saw them. So naturally, I assumed it was super-dark and gritty or something.

So last night, when it showed up on Filmstruck as part of one of their cinematographer series, I was like, "A-HA! At last!"

So I watched it.

The cinematography was good, in that seventies kind of way, which I like. The movie, though, was just a fairly standard romcom from what I could tell, all kind of ridiculous and implausible, demanding a whole lot more suspension of disbelief than I personally think it really merits, but I guess if that's your thing, that's OK, but it's not mine. Like, the kid in the movie is a 'precocious' ten year old, acting like a wisecracking middle aged waitress most of the time, but then, to remind the audience that she's a child, she sometimes does things that three year olds do, like gets food all over her face when she eats. Almost like the Godzilla or Jehovah thing, where aspects of the character are kind of malleable and adjust to what the story is trying to convey at that particular moment.

But my favorite thing is the big happy ending, where the lady finally learns to trust fucking Richard Dreyfuss of all people (he has always creeped me out), and then that guy I always get confused with Hutch from Starsky and Hutch sings a song where the lyrics explain the moral to the lady explicitly. That's a pretty 70s thing, too, I think. Like, where you have songs that address, in identifiable detail, what's happening in the movie, even when they're not musicals. A non-diegetic soundtrack, where an invisible narrator sings about the plot, in case you missed it or something.

Anyways, the moral of the story? The stuff Hutch is singing about?

Object permanence, when you get right down to it.
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