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11-27-2011, 09:04 PM
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The Twinkie Murder Trial
On this date, 1978, at the weirdest murder trial in history, the jury found Dan White not guilty of the premeditated murder of San Francisco mayor George Mascone and Harvy Milk, even though he came right up to them and pulled the trigger, because he had been eating too many Twinkies, too much sugar.
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The fact that a great many people believe something is no guarantee of its truth. W. Somerset Maugham
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11-27-2011, 09:11 PM
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liar in wolf's clothing
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Frequently about
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
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11-27-2011, 09:19 PM
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not very big for a grown-up
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: England
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
In a very strange coincidence, I was also found not guilty of a premediated murder but it was in 1990.
The reason for the jury's decision was that obviously anybody would be taken over with a murderous rage when finding out their favourite chocolate bar was to be renamed as a "snickers" bar.
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I've made a huge tiny mistake!
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11-27-2011, 09:21 PM
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It's however you interpret the question...
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: On A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream
Gender: Bender
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
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11-27-2011, 09:38 PM
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ne plus ultraviolet
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Portland Oregon USA
Gender: Male
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
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11-27-2011, 09:50 PM
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
Quote:
Originally Posted by chunksmediocrites
On this date, 1701, at Uppsala, Sweden, Anders Celsius was born; later he would create a system of measuring temperature, with zero degrees as the boiling point and 100 degrees as the freezing point; this scale would be reversed by Carl Linnaeus a year after Celsius' death, and was long referred to as the Swedish thermometer.
In a weird coincidence Swedish thermometer is also the slang term for a sexual act involving having intercourse with one's hand while a twinkie, frozen to zero Celsius, is inserted in the rectum, and the other hand is used to post a new thread on the internet.
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When the frozen Twinkie comes out of the rectum is it still edible?
__________________
The fact that a great many people believe something is no guarantee of its truth. W. Somerset Maugham
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11-27-2011, 09:51 PM
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It's however you interpret the question...
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: On A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream
Gender: Bender
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
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11-27-2011, 09:54 PM
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ne plus ultraviolet
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Portland Oregon USA
Gender: Male
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
If it is not Imma flyin' into a murderous, depressive rage, and look forward to my defense at the trial.
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11-27-2011, 10:18 PM
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
Quote:
Originally Posted by chunksmediocrites
If it is not Imma flyin' into a murderous, depressive rage, and look forward to my defense at the trial.
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Your only chance is to pay a psychologist to swear you had diminished capacity, or irresistible impulse. Jurors, not wanting to look dumb, will always vote for acquittal.
__________________
The fact that a great many people believe something is no guarantee of its truth. W. Somerset Maugham
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11-27-2011, 10:39 PM
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A Very Gentle Bort
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Bortlandia
Gender: Male
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
I always knew Dr. Theopolis was a backstabbing son of a bitch. Oh, sure, he talked all peacful and bullshit, but I know he resented having to be carried around like a goddamn refugee. So, of course, it was only natural that he'd lash out and have his faithful companion, Twiki, killed. Sadly, however, Dr. Theopolis had an chronic case of not having fucking arms and shit with which to kill anyone. And the connection between "him" and the actual murderers of Twiki were never proven "beyond a reasonable doubt." But you could tell. The smug way his lights blinked off an on. You knew it.
RIP
Twiki
2518 - 1978
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11-27-2011, 11:00 PM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
Coincidentally, I was party to a notable trial myself, back in the late 90s after I was driven to eat excessive quantities of junk food by TWiki. The excessive caloric intake, combined with my being largely sedentary, caused me to become extremely obese, so I sued both the direct contributors to the TWiki project, and Perl developer Larry Wall, and I was awarded a large settlement as compensation for the damages I suffered.
I have never been charged with premeditated murder or found guilty of any type of negligence resulting in death.
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11-27-2011, 11:05 PM
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisarea
Coincidentally, I was party to a notable trial myself, back in the late 90s after I was driven to eat excessive quantities of junk food by TWiki. The excessive caloric intake, combined with my being largely sedentary, caused me to become extremely obese, so I sued both the direct contributors to the TWiki project, and Perl developer Larry Wall, and I was awarded a large settlement as compensation for the damages I suffered.
I have never been charged with premeditated murder or found guilty of any type of negligence resulting in death.
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Luck has many faces, this has been one of them.
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The fact that a great many people believe something is no guarantee of its truth. W. Somerset Maugham
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11-28-2011, 01:08 AM
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NeoTillichian Hierophant & Partisan Hack
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Iowa
Gender: Male
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
I believe that the real verdict was not guilty by reason of gay victim.
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Old Pain In The Ass says: I am on a mission from God to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable; to bring faith to the doubtful and doubt to the faithful.
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11-28-2011, 01:54 AM
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Projecting my phallogos with long, hard diction
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Dee Cee
Gender: Male
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
In Dan White's defense... the Twinkie defense was a bit more nuanced than that. The idea was that the fact that he was eating Twinkies, the sort of junk food he fastidiously avoided under normal circumstances, suggests that he was not in his right mind at the time.
Of course, I still think that's BS, but it's not as ludicrous BS as it's often portrayed.
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11-28-2011, 02:25 AM
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Dogehlaugher -Scrutari
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Northwest
Gender: Female
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rickoshay75
Quote:
Originally Posted by chunksmediocrites
On this date, 1701, at Uppsala, Sweden, Anders Celsius was born; later he would create a system of measuring temperature, with zero degrees as the boiling point and 100 degrees as the freezing point; this scale would be reversed by Carl Linnaeus a year after Celsius' death, and was long referred to as the Swedish thermometer.
In a weird coincidence Swedish thermometer is also the slang term for a sexual act involving having intercourse with one's hand while a twinkie, frozen to zero Celsius, is inserted in the rectum, and the other hand is used to post a new thread on the internet.
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When the frozen Twinkie comes out of the rectum is it still edible?
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Dude, who the fuck wants to know that?
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11-28-2011, 02:45 AM
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Flyover Hillbilly
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Juggalonia
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rickoshay75
because he had been eating too many Twinkies, too much sugar.
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Not even close, but still, cool story brah.
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"We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both." ~ Louis D. Brandeis
"Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are." ~ S. Gecko
"What the fuck is a German muffin?" ~ R. Swanson
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11-28-2011, 06:57 AM
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God Made Me A Skeptic
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Minnesota
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rickoshay75
When the frozen Twinkie comes out of the rectum is it still edible?
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I do not understand this question (emphasis shows why).
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11-28-2011, 07:43 AM
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Not as smart as Adam
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Queensland
Gender: Male
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qingdai
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rickoshay75
Quote:
Originally Posted by chunksmediocrites
On this date, 1701, at Uppsala, Sweden, Anders Celsius was born; later he would create a system of measuring temperature, with zero degrees as the boiling point and 100 degrees as the freezing point; this scale would be reversed by Carl Linnaeus a year after Celsius' death, and was long referred to as the Swedish thermometer.
In a weird coincidence Swedish thermometer is also the slang term for a sexual act involving having intercourse with one's hand while a twinkie, frozen to zero Celsius, is inserted in the rectum, and the other hand is used to post a new thread on the internet.
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When the frozen Twinkie comes out of the rectum is it still edible?
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Dude, who the fuck wants to know that?
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Surely the wife that eats the Twinkie, yes?
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Don't pray in my school and I won't think in your church.
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11-28-2011, 02:17 PM
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Just keep m'nose clean, egg, chips & beans, I'm always full of steam
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: so far out, I'm too far in
Gender: Bender
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rickoshay75
When the frozen Twinkie comes out of the rectum is it still edible?
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Sure, but you might want to warm the rectum a bit before serving.
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"Her eyes in certain light were violet, and all her teeth were even. That's a rare, fair feature: even teeth. She smiled to excess, but she chewed with real distinction." - Eleanor of Aquitaine
...........
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12-01-2011, 09:46 PM
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Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sock Puppet
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rickoshay75
When the frozen Twinkie comes out of the rectum is it still edible?
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Sure, but you might want to warm the rectum a bit before serving.
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Ok, what'll we use, a bum warmer?
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The fact that a great many people believe something is no guarantee of its truth. W. Somerset Maugham
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