Wow, what a difference a year doesn't make

[just me]

This site just seems to have fewer and fewer folks who wish to participate.

Free thought forum? Not if Viscious doesn't like you from years ago (do you have an actual job that pays money yet?). Nevermind if it was just a misunderstanding.

Nice experiment in no moderation, but in many ways the moderation was very heavy handed.

I can't help but notice that most forum topics have had no activity for many days. What keeps the bills paid these days?

Years ago this forum could have been something, but it appears after many years of watching it flounder it's basically just a few dozen folks engaging in mutual masturbation. I wonder why most are still on. I know VM can't afford it since he can't hold a job, is Liv paying all the bills?

[livius drusus]

Dave! How've you been, you grudge-holding sumbitch?

[Deadlokd]

Originally Posted by just me

Years ago this forum could have been something, but it appears after many years of watching it flounder it's basically just a few dozen folks engaging in mutual masturbation.

Well, I came. Thanks just Dave.

[just me]

Originally Posted by livius drusus

Dave! How've you been, you grudge-holding sumbitch?

Honestly? Not well. I have a 12 year old son who got sick at age 10 with heart failure. He had a transplant and a major stroke that left him a mute quadriplegic. As I type this I hear him screaming while there is nothing more I can do for him emotionally or medically. The doctors say he has less than 2 months left.

It's not that I hold a grudge so much as I really resent being judged. I don't even recall what the original judgement was about other than it was well divorced from reality. I do recall trying to become a member of this community again and having V absolutely go all out to paint me as some awful person and I had no defense. He was/is an Admin and he can drudge up the past out of context as he sees fit. I was really hurt by that. Really hurt.

My son is still crying in pain and I need to go try to comfort him at 2am my time while I hear my wife stirring because she hears him too.

Yes, I do think VM is a complete dick. Sorry, but not really. I have no idea why a forum that could be great limits itself with a completely insensitive, prejudiced dickhead.

Don't worry about me, I will just disappear tomorrow.

[livius drusus]

That's awful, Dave. I'm so sorry. Take care of your son and yourself, please.

[Deadlokd]

I am very, very sorry to hear that. That must be heartbreaking. So sorry.

[Doctor X]

I blather on on what I felt was an unfair attack . . . only to realize I really missed the point.

[He then blathers on in what he actually thinks is sincerely helpful advice, but which some suggested appears, instead, insensitive.--Ed.]

Which goes to show we all do not get the response we think we should.

--J.D.

[livius drusus]

Originally Posted by just me

It's not that I hold a grudge so much as I really resent being judged. I don't even recall what the original judgement was about other than it was well divorced from reality. I do recall trying to become a member of this community again and having V absolutely go all out to paint me as some awful person and I had no defense. He was/is an Admin and he can drudge up the past out of context as he sees fit. I was really hurt by that. Really hurt.

I'm sorry you were hurt. If it's any consolation, I don't think anything vm said painted you as an awful person. We could retrace the steps to clarify how things went down and have a rollicking discussion on the potential of internet forums, but it seems so meaningless compared to what you're dealing with irl.

You've been here off and on for over half a decade, Dave. You're a great gardener, cook and you gave us one of our most beloved memes ("nobody links to us" has totally become a thing). I remember a hundred years ago you asked whether anger is always an expression of pain. I don't know about always, but there's little doubt in my mind that that's what's going on with you right now. So how about we just skip the anger part?

I know there's nothing we can do to help you. Just words on a page is all. Still, for whatever little it's worth, I wish deeply that you and your family could awake from this nightmare you're living with everyone happy and healthy. Since that wish is vain, all I can do is tell you that I'm so sorry this has happened to you and I hope fervently that you all make it through.

[Doctor X]

Originally Posted by livius drusus

. . . and you gave us one of our most beloved memes ("nobody links to us" has totally become a thing).

I actually did not know that . . . one of the many things I do not know . . . another failure . . . in a sad line. . . .

--J.D.

[Stormlight]

Originally Posted by just me

Honestly? Not well. I have a 12 year old son who got sick at age 10 with heart failure. He had a transplant and a major stroke that left him a mute quadriplegic. As I type this I hear him screaming while there is nothing more I can do for him emotionally or medically. The doctors say he has less than 2 months left.

It's not that I hold a grudge so much as I really resent being judged. I don't even recall what the original judgement was about other than it was well divorced from reality. I do recall trying to become a member of this community again and having V absolutely go all out to paint me as some awful person and I had no defense. He was/is an Admin and he can drudge up the past out of context as he sees fit. I was really hurt by that. Really hurt.

My son is still crying in pain and I need to go try to comfort him at 2am my time while I hear my wife stirring because she hears him too.

I'm very sorry. That's just awful.

[just me]

Thanks Liv. Yes, I am just really hurting right now and lashing out. I am watching my kid die while being helpless to even find narcotics that help with his pain.

I am awake at 3am my time listening to my son cry even though I have given him enough oxycontin to lay me to waste and it just does not help him.

I am just very emotional right now. Haven't been on this forum for a year or more. Frankly I am just so buried with pain I will post anywhere at this point. My baby boy is crying in pain and there is nothing I can do for him. No comfort I can offer him other than death.

I am just destroyed.

[livius drusus]

God, what horror. Is there nothing more effective at managing his pain than oxy? I don't know very much about it and I don't want to talk shit, but are there any palliative care experts near you who can help relieve his agony?

How is your wife coping? I feel like an idiot even asking because obviously she's mired in this pain just like you are. The stress is incalculable.

[Demimonde]

I am so sorry that you and your family are having to face such pain and hardship.

[LadyShea]

I am so sorry Dave.

[ChuckF]

Dave, internet dramas aside, I am terribly sorry to hear about your son. I can't imagine how difficult this time is for you and your family. Please take care of yourself.

[Watser?]

I'm sorry to hear about your son, nobody should have to deal with that.

[Crumb]

Sorry man. No one should have to deal with that.

[lisarea]

Dave, I'm so sorry. This is unspeakably horrible.

And welcome back, even if all you need is someone to yell at.

[seebs]

Holy crap, dude. "Awful" ain't close to strong enough for that.

[Angakuk]

Dave, is your son receiving hospice care? Hospice nurses receive additional training in pain management and, in many jurisdictions, have access to pain medications that are not generally available outside of a hospital setting.

[ravenscape]

I don't think our paths have crossed here. maybe elsewhere.

I'm so sorry, what you and your family are going through just plain shouldn't happen. I hope you are able to find an expert on pain management who can help you guys give your son a little surcease from the pain. I can't imagine what you are going through. Trying to imagine brings tears to my eyes. Wishing many improvements, however slight.

[The Man]

I don't think I even really interacted with you last time you were here, but I'm sorry to hear about the awful things you you and your son are going through. No one deserves that.

[just me]

Thanks to all of you. In the past I did not feel all that accepted here, and I have avoided this forum for that reason ever sense. I came back because I really needed a shitting ground where I didn't have to care what the repercussions were of my dumping.

I am really humbled that every person responding have expressed compassion instead of feeling the need to be an asshat.

Thank you for that. It means more to me than you will ever know.

For those who have asked, yes, hospice is involved, the state I live is seems to be really good at paying for specialized care in our home etc. I have no complaints in that regard.

Over the years I have made a shitload of mistakes, burned a whole lot of bridges and just been incredibly immature given my age. It took a 10 year old kid to teach me how to be a man. And now that kid is dying while I watch helplessly.

Yes, I am despondent. Yes, I am emotionally buried. But I am grateful that upon checking in everyone who chose to respond was kind and compassionate. Thank you for that.

[livius drusus]

I'm glad you came back, Dave. Like lisarea said, we're here for you even if all you need is to rage.

As I recall you have two children (you mentioned it years ago so you may have more by now). How is your other child doing?

[Jerome]

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