Frothy Mixture of Semen and Feces Has a Reputation Problem

[livius drusus]

Rick Santorum really, really wants to run for president, you see, but since Dan Savage granted his last name such distinction in 2003, he has a pretty insurmountable Google problem.

For voters who decide to look him up online, one of the top three search results is usually the site SpreadingSantorum.com, which explains that Santorum's last name is a sexual neologism for "the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex."

Santorum's problem got its start back in 2003, when the then-senator from Pennsylvania compared homosexuality to bestiality and pedophilia, saying the "definition of marriage" has never included "man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be." The ensuing controversy prompted syndicated sex columnist Dan Savage, who's gay, to start a contest, soliciting reader suggestions for slang terms to "memorialize the scandal." The winner came up with the "frothy mixture" idea, Savage launched a website, and a meme was born. Even though mainstream news outlets would never link to it, Savage's site rose in the Google rankings, thanks in part to bloggers who posted Santorum-related news on the site or linked to it from their blogs. Eventually it eclipsed Santorum's own campaign site in search results; some observers even suggested it may have contributed to Santorum's crushing 18-point defeat in his 2006 campaign against Bob Casey.

Savage hasn't updated the site in years, and it's still dominating Santorum searches. If Rick does run for president, Savage will start linking to it and getting linked to all over again, so there will be tons of fresh links bumping up the froth results while the official campaign languishes downpage. Even the SEO pros are stumped.

[Stephen Maturin]

[ChuckF]

I seem to remember that the google indexing algorithm weighs, among other things, how many unique sites link to a particular site.

Santorum
Rick Santorum
Rick Santorum campaign
Rick Santorum for President

Also, in before thread title/last poster combo post.

[Gonzo]

Savage? Oh man, I loved the The Wonder Years!

YouTube- Joe Cocker - A Little Help From My...

[livius drusus]

Holy shit LadyShea read the OP. I was sure you'd put this thrad on ignore the second you saw the title, Shea.

[erimir]

Savage's triumph with santorum is quite amazing.

I'm too lazy to google-fu the story, but I read that on some massively multiplayer online game, santorum was one of the banned user names - along with other obscene references.

[Stephen Maturin]

Our hero is undeterred:

Displaying a frothy mix of optimism and pragmatism, former Senator Rick Santorum is feeling good about his chances in the 2012 Iowa caucus:

He insists that before he planned his first trip to Iowa for a speech at Dubuque University in 2009, running for president had barely crossed his mind ...

The reception in Iowa was more than Santorum had hoped for, and since then, he’s traveled to the state more times than any other rumored 2012 hopeful.

“I haven’t been discouraged since,” he said.

And how could he possibly lose with views like these:

YouTube - Santorum: Obama Should Oppose...

&feature=player_embedded

[erimir]

Well, you see, blacks are a lot like fetuses, in that they don't have an independent existence (WELFARE!) and they're both not very smart, they're weird lookin', they never do any work, and they both love rap music. So it's actually a very cogent analogy.

[Sophia]

Yeah, I experienced finding such a frothy mixture on my fingers in the shower after getting raped by a gay man who was ashamed of being a gay man. (Wanna see what kind of man I mean Ricky? Look in the fucking mirror.) No, it wasn't pleasant.

Thing is, though, in places where men who think like Rick Santorum have an iron lock on power, the same recipe gets cooked up even more. The difference is that it's made even more often through the raping of little boys by hypocritical old assholes, and if the boys try to honestly talk about their experiences, they'll be executed.

[Sophia]

Originally Posted by erimir

Well, you see, blacks are a lot like fetuses, in that they don't have an independent existence (WELFARE!) and they're both not very smart, they're weird lookin', they never do any work, and they both love rap music. So it's actually a very cogent analogy.

True, and I've pointed out to Simon Baron Cohen how awesomely his E///S::F///M theories are vindicated by black mens' macho domination of engineering and computer science in the US. Totally.

In any case, they've come along way from just being the Children of Ham sent here to test the virtue of our women, especially our innocent and pure Virginia Dares with delicately upturned noses.

[Sophia]

I'll grant Santorum this much: he actually does succeed in showing that homosexuality is not necessarily healthy. He's a homosexual, he's pathological. QED.

[Stephen Maturin]

Know why the Social Security system is flat fucking broke?* Because we've been murdering a third of our future taxpayers via abortion.

This is almost as good as when Chuck Colson said that abortion is the reason we're neck-deep in illegal Messicans. Were it not for abortion, we'd have this gargantuan pool of slave labor and wouldn't need all those beaners.

*It's not, of course, or anywhere close to it. But Santorum has never been one to let facts get in the way of a rage boner.

[D. Scarlatti]

rofl@rage boner. Such a way with words, counselor.

[ChuckF]

Rick Santorum, the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex, will soon be President of All of Us. Congratulations, America!

[erimir]

America will soon be covered in glory!

Also would give a new twist to Republican trickle-down economics.

[erimir]

This picture (which I had forgotten about) was on Gawker's site, and it must be in this thread:

[Qingdai]

WTF is that photo about?

[erimir]

That's Santorum's concession speech from when he lost his senate seat in a landslide.

[viscousmemories]

Originally Posted by ChuckF

Rick Santorum, the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex, will soon be President of All of Us. Congratulations, America!

"Santorum's fetus playdate"

If I were inclined to start a band...

[livius drusus]

Frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex uses slogan yoinked from Black homosexual poet Langston Hughes.

[Stephen Maturin]

You know what's wrong with Paul Ryan's plan to shitcan Medicare and cast future oldsters adrift on the Galtian Ocean in a raft built of essentially worthless private insurance procurement vouchers? According to a certain frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex, the problem is that the plan isn't crazy enough because it doesn't compel the current freeloading olds to do their "fair share."

[erimir]

I agree with him.

The Santorum plan is the plan they should release on the public.

[erimir]

Originally Posted by livius drusus

Frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex uses slogan yoinked from Black homosexual poet Langston Hughes.

YouTube - Rick Santorum on his campaign...

[davidm]

Originally Posted by erimir

This picture (which I had forgotten about) was on Gawker's site, and it must be in this thread:

It looks like that girl in front may have swallowed a frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.

[Angakuk]

It occurs to me that it is entirely possible that the phrase "Fighting to make America America again" could have been independantly reinvented by someone who had never read or even heard of Langston Hughes. On the other hand, it could have been a deliberate act of sabotage by some staffer who has had enough Santorum to last a lifetime.