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  #576  
Old 12-11-2016, 12:27 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

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"All-American Christmas Carol". Trailer-park-set version that makes very little sense.
That's the one where one of the Zucker brothers (of "Airplane!" fame) goes crazy right-wing?

Yikes, I haven't even attempted it.

No, that's simply "An American Carol" (Wikipedia.)

This one is set in a trailer park, and features a mother with three kids (Skoal, Harley, and Cheese Doodle) by three different fathers: a rock star, a semi-pro wrestler, and a paint-ball fanatic. She shops for Christmas gifts by dropping quarters into the claw machine at the local 99-cent store. The ghost of Christmas past (a high-school classmate who died young) gets drunk at a Christmas-past party. The rock star is the ghost of Christmas present. Her mother is the ghost of Christmas future. After the visitations, she reopens the hair salon she inherited from her mother, gives her nephew (the tiny Tim character, cleverly named "Tim" in the movie), gives back the Harley and engagement ring that her fiance bought her with his college fund, and does other things that show she has learned a lesson.
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  #577  
Old 03-08-2017, 05:42 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Guys.

I regret to inform you that I just didn't like The Greasy Strangler very much.

People were comparing it to early John Waters, and I LOVE early John Waters, but I just wasn't feeling this.

I tried to come up with some perfectly rational reason why Female Trouble and Pink Flamingos are somehow more finely crafted or incisive or something like that, but I'm afraid it might just be because Watser? is old. (I mean, obviously I'M not too old, but his oldness rubs off on all of us, I'm afraid.)
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  #578  
Old 03-09-2017, 10:08 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

:unnod:

He's old and Dutch. That's a very dangerous combination.
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  #579  
Old 03-09-2017, 04:38 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

omg the Mor-man wanted to see Left Behind with Nicholas Cage

what :shit::shit::shit::shit::shit:

was torture to watch
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  #580  
Old 03-09-2017, 05:24 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Northmen - a Viking Saga

Don't judge me. Ok fair enough you should probably judge me. I must have been drunk.

A bunch of tired cliches thrown into a heap and vaguely shuffled around a bit. A bunch of godawful posers headed by an underwear model stands around as a tired old plot made up of leftover action movie tropes drags itself to a completely uninteresting and unremarkable end. A movie that lacks all originality, wit, style, craftsmanship, and coherence. A really atrocious shitburger.

We had some fun laughing at how bad it was, and we sort of dared each other to force ourselves to watch it peter out in a completely uninspired way. What a terrible, terrible movie.
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  #581  
Old 03-09-2017, 06:34 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

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Watching Nicholas Cage is torture
:fixed:
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  #582  
Old 03-09-2017, 07:12 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

The.Wicker.Man :shudder:
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  #583  
Old 04-05-2017, 09:10 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

ugh. USS Indianapolis. :unknife:
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  #584  
Old 04-05-2017, 09:57 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

An Officer and a Gigolo er. Gentleman. Lou Gossett is a pain and Rubberface Gere is an annoyance.

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  #585  
Old 04-06-2017, 03:50 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Hey wut?! Slander!

Although I am Dutch. And conceivably/relativistically old. :hmph:
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  #586  
Old 08-30-2017, 08:41 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Alien: Covenant

Well then, whoever thought Ridley Scott couldn't fuck up worse than with Prometheus was wrong. He could and he did. What a piece of utter garbage.

Characters that are even dumber than those in Prometheus? Yup.
Utterly forgettable characters that you couldn't care less about? Yep.
Laughable plot (and I mean really retarded)? Oh you bet.

But the worst thing about this "movie" is that it is fucking BORING. Worst movie I've seen this year and I've seen a lot.
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  #587  
Old 08-30-2017, 08:55 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

:^: I legit fell asleep during Alien Covenant :petalien:
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  #588  
Old 08-31-2017, 06:29 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

I don't generally get angry when watching a bad movie but I got angry watching this turone. Why even bother with all the (admittedly excellent) visuals when you can't be bothered to tell a coherent story?

Ridley Scott is even worse than George Lucas. There!

:madrant:
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  #589  
Old 09-02-2017, 08:18 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

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I don't generally get angry when watching a bad movie but I got angry watching this turone.
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The Turones were a Celtic tribe of pre-Roman Gaul.
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  #590  
Old 09-18-2017, 06:06 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

The Prowler

...a classic 80s slasher movie, but I'm not sure why. It's distinguishing feature is surprisingly high quality special effects. Tom Savini claims it's some of his best work, and I'd agree.

The movie starts with a mildly interesting setup: A woman who writes a "Dear John" letter to a WW2 soldier is killed at the graduation dance, along with her boyfriend. Then, 35 years later, the graduation dance is restarted, which triggers a new round of murders by someone in an Army outfit.

Unfortunately, besides that setup, it's a boring slasher with few interesting characters and idiot protagonists, a bunch of unresolved side plots, and some questionable editing. The murderer is pretty obvious, too.

...but the special effects were great.
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  #591  
Old 09-18-2017, 06:06 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

:dddp:
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  #592  
Old 09-18-2017, 06:13 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

And another (double poster)! Someone alert the authorities.
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  #593  
Old 09-18-2017, 06:49 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Weird.
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  #594  
Old 09-18-2017, 09:53 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

"IT"

Super-dee-duper crappy. The old Richard Thomas version was much better. Goodnight, Johnboy.
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  #595  
Old 09-18-2017, 09:53 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

"IT"

Super-dee-duper crappy. The old Richard Thomas version was much better. Goodnight, Johnboy.
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  #596  
Old 09-18-2017, 10:10 PM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Recently on a plane trip over the Atlantic:

1. Power Rangers - I wasn't thinking it'd be a cinematic tour de force but I also didn't expect the crapfest that it turned out to be. Wooden acting, a sorry story. Just a waste of time.

2. Assassins Creed - if I thought the story for the Power Rangers was bad, this was even worse. There were so many ways to go with this movie, and the route they went was the worse possible one. To think they set it up for a sequel as well.

3. Fate of the Furious - this franchise should have ended with the death of Paul Walker. To improve this film they should have just had all the actors chant "Family! Family" for 90 minutes, because I guess I missed that point during the movie. Instead of Dom jumping a shark, he jumped a sub. Same end result though.
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  #597  
Old 09-19-2017, 02:24 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

I hope you didn't choose those films.

On recent flights I watched Hidden Figures, Get Out and Beauty and the Beast (live action). The first two were very good and the last was fine, but I don't see why it needed to exist - the original is better and it wasn't offering something interestingly different IMO.
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  #598  
Old 09-19-2017, 09:30 AM
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I hope you didn't choose those films.

On recent flights I watched Hidden Figures, Get Out and Beauty and the Beast (live action). The first two were very good and the last was fine, but I don't see why it needed to exist - the original is better and it wasn't offering something interestingly different IMO.
I did . I watched a couple of foreign films but my eyes started hurting from reading the subtitles. I opted for low rent thrills at that point forward. You get what you pay for I suppose.

I liked Beauty and the Beast. Emma Watson is a better singer than I anticipated. Haven't seen Get Out yet. Need to find time to watch it when the kiddos aren't awake.
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  #599  
Old 09-20-2017, 01:03 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

I redbox'd Power Rangers a while ago just for fun. It was fun, I thought, though I would still put it in the crappy movies category. My problem was more that the first half of the movie felt like the more typical 'gritty remake' while the last half felt like they were trying to cram in every campy reference from the campy show they could, and it created an awful tonal dissonance between the two. They really needed to pick one or the other and stick with it throughout. It certainly wouldn't have been enough to make it a good movie, but it would have done a lot to improve it, maybe even to the 'meh' category if they'd done it well.
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  #600  
Old 09-22-2017, 04:09 AM
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Default Re: Seen any crappy movies?

Extraction - Bruce Willis is just mailing it in at this point, and his bad acting infected everyone else on set.

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