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  #1  
Old 01-29-2015, 04:40 PM
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Default 2016 Presidential Race

In my old age, I have found that no matter how emotional I get, no matter how much I yell at my computer or TV screen, no matter how much I wish for things, I cannot in any way, shape, or form control the presidential elections process. I can cast my vote and that's it. So, I have decided to watch things and laugh, rather than cry and get all stressed out.

I am highly amused at the bajillion Republicans who are facing off against each other. I am also amused that it seems like the Dems are just going to run Hillary and that's that...I haven't heard of anyone else seriously considering it, have you?

So this made me laugh today: Desperate Republicans Are Trying To Recruit Elizabeth Warren To Run Against Hillary Clinton
Quote:
Things are quickly spiraling out of control for the Republicans as they head into 2016. Currently, there are no less than eighteen Republicans who could be presidential candidates. The establishment was ready to rally around Chris Christie until Bridgegate happened. Jeb Bush is a candidate who isn’t generating much enthusiasm outside of the donor class, and the resurfacing of Mitt Romney has added chaos to the entire process. It is looking more like the Republicans will go through a bloody fight to pick their nominee.
and this

Quote:
"How can Secretary Clinton provide opportunity for all if she doesn't know where jobs come from in the first place?" Romney said.
Yeah, nobody knows where jobs come from like Mitt "Just Borrow Start Up Funds From Your Parents" Romney
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  #2  
Old 01-29-2015, 05:53 PM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

IGNORE THRAD :dontclick:
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  #3  
Old 01-29-2015, 06:23 PM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race



FOCUS ON POLITICS
Romneybot Programmers Plan 2016 Presidential Reboot

Vow to Program "Authenticity" Into Perennial, Clueless Candidate

FREETHOUGHT-FORUM.COM (Internet News Serivce) -- Romneybot 3.0 lurches and staggers about on the proving grounds of White Sands, N.M.

"Hiya, hiya, hiya," it babbles, lunging for a woman with a baby who recoils in horror as Romneybot tries to seize her hand. "I am Romneybot. I am Romneybot. Do you see how authentic I am now? I like pork rinds. I like pro wrestling. I identify with the 47 percent of the public who are moochers. I feel your pain. I feel your pain. I feel your pain."

The woman shrieks and darts away, cradling her infant tightly to her bosom.

Men in white lab coats dutifully scribble notes onto papers fixed in clipboards and scratch their goatees in silent cogitation.

Their goal: to roll out Romneybot 3.0 in time for its third presidential run, and sweep to victory in November 2016.

"There are still a few bugs to be worked out," said Bill Hates, lead developer for Romneybot 3.0. "But did you catch that reference to pork rinds? Who the fuck doesn't like pork rinds, especially poor moochers who can't afford anything but junk food? Romneybot 3.0 will wow the hoi-polloi."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya!" Romneybot 3.0 babbles, staggering toward a group of small children who huddle together in wide-eyed terror. Romneybot 3.0 shoots out a hand for a handshake, but maladroitly bats one of the children in the nose, causing him to bleed and burst into tears. "I like children. I like children. I know what it means to be a child. I was a child once myself. When you children grow up, you should each borrow a million dollars from your parents and start a business. That's what America is all about, all about, all about."

The children flee, squealing in horror.

"Hiya, hiya, hiya," Romneybot babbles, lurching around the proving grounds. It stumbles, collapses into a heap, and urinates in its trousers.

"Hmm," one of the white-coated technicians mutters with a sigh. "Back to the drawing board."
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  #4  
Old 01-30-2015, 12:20 AM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyShea View Post
In my old age, I have found that no matter how emotional I get, no matter how much I yell at my computer or TV screen, no matter how much I wish for things, I cannot in any way, shape, or form control the presidential elections process.
LadyShea for President.
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  #5  
Old 01-30-2015, 12:48 AM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

el oh el the radio said that Dame Lindsey Graham, the world's gayest Republican, has done set up a committee to explore running for preznit in 2016. :prayer:
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Old 01-30-2015, 01:46 PM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

In other news, Pablum Baby Cereal is also in the running.
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Old 01-30-2015, 02:32 PM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

Trump/Palin 2016
"America, you're fired Dontcha know."
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Old 01-30-2015, 04:11 PM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

My money is on a Bush - Clinton contest. Because that never happened before.
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Old 01-30-2015, 04:46 PM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

The reason I like the large field of Republican candidates is because it includes numerous Teabaggers, who can't abide Ronald Reagan's creed of not talking shit about fellow Republicans. They cannot resist it, because they've got nothing that they can talk up other than tax cuts for the rich. Skeletons will not only be dragged out of various closets, but stomped on and put on public display. I like it for the lulz.
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  #10  
Old 01-30-2015, 05:06 PM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

--- BREAKING NEWS ---

BBC News - Romney won't run in 2016 election
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Old 01-30-2015, 05:12 PM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race



A brooding President Obama laments that he has but two terms to smash the hopes of the people who voted for him.


FOCUS ON POLITICS
Obama Regrets He Has Only Two Terms to Let Down His Supporters
Wishes He Could Have Third Term to Further "Crush the Spirit" of the Young and Idealistic

FREETHOUGHT-FORUM.COM (Internet News Service) -- President Obama said Friday he regretted that two terms in office was insufficient "to kill the dreams" of his most ardent, idealistic young supporters.

"When I think of all those idealistic, starry-eyed, progressive young people who rallied to the banner of 'Hope' and 'Change' in 2008, and how I've let them down, it really hurts my heart that I can't have four more years to let them down even further," Obama said during an interview in the Oval Office.

Obama questioned the efficacy of the constitutional amendment limiting presidents to two terms in office.

"It seems to me people should have the right to vote, not just once, not just twice, but three times or even more, for the candidate best equipped to rouse their hopes to dizzying heights, only to bring those hopes cruelly crashing to earth in the cold light of workaday governance," the president said.

Obama voiced no preference as to a successor, but expressed skepticism at Hillary Clinton's ability to "crush the dreams of the idealistic like so many cockroaches under a shoe heel."

"Look, don't get me wrong," the president added. "Hillary, if elected, will betray progressives every bit as much as I have, maybe even more. It's just that I doubt her ability to rouse their hopes in the first place. What you ideally want is to get the young and idealistic as high as a kite on hope, and then, as soon as you take the oath of office, blast that kite out of the sky with the shotgun of your own timid, retrogressive policies and banal, accommodationist rhetoric."

Glancing at his watch, the president said, "Now you'll have to excuse me. I have an appointment to suck up to John Boehner."
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  #12  
Old 01-30-2015, 05:45 PM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

Quote:
Originally Posted by mickthinks View Post
I have such mixed feelings about this.

On the one hand, I'm not going to miss seeing his smarmy face and hearing his jaw-droppingly obvious lies. Of course, there'll be plenty of both from the other candidates, but there might not be anybody else with quite the talent for smarminess as him.

On the other hand, it would have been sort of wonderful to see him flush even more millions of his ill-gotten gains down the shitter.
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  #13  
Old 01-30-2015, 06:25 PM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

I am definitely disappointed that Mitt Romney will not have to endure yet another humiliating defeat. I hope he loves his country enough to consider signing on down-ticket, because Vice President Romney loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool
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Old 01-30-2015, 06:55 PM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyShea View Post
So, I have decided to watch things and laugh, rather than cry and get all stressed out.
This is sound, and I'm going to copy off of you! And when the laughter is done and it's time to cast ballots, I will straight up throw away my vote on the looniest, most wild eyed, far left whackadoo on the ballot.

From the article you linked:

Quote:
The establishment was ready to rally around Chris Christie until Bridgegate happened.
:laugh:

Really? lol If that's true, the Republican "establishment" is more fucked up that even I imagined.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sock Puppet View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by mickthinks View Post
I have such mixed feelings about this.

On the one hand, I'm not going to miss seeing his smarmy face and hearing his jaw-droppingly obvious lies.
Remember the post-election "Mitt would have totally kicked Obama's ass had he really tried to win" narrative? Good times, man, good times!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sock Puppet View Post
On the other hand, it would have been sort of wonderful to see him flush even more millions of his ill-gotten gains down the shitter.
At age 67 a man wants to get off the treadmill for keeps and truly experience the simple joys of life. For Mitt, that means torturing dogs and ruining thousands of lives by purchasing companies then wrecking them to pay himself and his investors well-deserved bonuses.
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  #15  
Old 02-01-2015, 05:08 PM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

Addicting Info – The Koch Brothers Have Decided On Your Next Leader: President Scott Walker
Quote:
Every six months, Republican politicians, media personalities, and pundits gather for a self-titled seminar run by the brothers Charles and David Koch. Every four years, these oligarchs pick the presidential candidates for the Republican party. In 2011, Mitt Romney was their candidate; in 2007, it was John McCain. This year, rumor coming out of Palm Springs is that the Koch Brothers have decided to crown Scott Walker as the GOP candidate for president in 2016!

Their previous attempts have used a war hero, then a successful businessman, so why did they decide on using the college dropout who left after an attempt to run for student body president was foiled by a rule violation?

Most probably because he is completely and absolutely their servant.
Koch-backed network aims to spend nearly $1 billion on 2016 elections - The Washington Post

Will the Koch brothers end up buying the Republican Party?


Listen To Our Totally Subjective 2016 Presidential Odds | FiveThirtyEight

The participants:
  • Nate Silver, editor in chief
  • Micah Cohen, DataLab editor
  • Harry Enten, senior political writer
  • special guest Rembert Browne of Grantland

(Field) means other possible candidates. On the Republican side, candidates like Paul Ryan, John Kasich, Susana Martinez, ...

Numbers are percentages. I took their medians and sorted the candidates by those values.

On the Republican side, the front runners are Jeb Bush and Scott Walker at about 17% each. The next ones start at about 10% each.

On the Democratic side, Hillary Clinton is the clear winner, with everybody else much less. Elizabeth Warren does about as well as Jim Webb, Joe Biden, Marin O'Malley, and the field of other possibilities; all are about 3% - 4%.

Republicans:
- Micah Nate Harry Rembert
Bush 15 18 23 7
Romney 7 9 10 7
Rubio 6 11 10 10
Paul 9.5 10 10 5
Walker 19 20 15 6
Christie 11 6 5 20
Cruz 1 1 1 5
Perry 13 1 4 2
Huckabee 4 7 3 6
Jindal 1.25 4 3 1
Carson 0.5 1 1 1
Santorum 2 1 0 3
Pence 4 4 4 2
Graham 0.5 0 0 2
Fiorina 0.25 1 1 2
(Field) 6 6 10 20

Walker 17, Bush 16.5, Rubio 10, Paul 9.75, Christie 8.5, Romney 8, (Field) 8, Huckabee 5, Pence 4, Perry 3, Jindal 2.125, Santorum 1.5, Carson 1, Cruz 1, Fiorina 1, Graham 0.25

Democrats:
- Micah Nate Harry Rembert
Clinton 67 75 90 70
Warren 3 8 3 2
Biden 4 5 2 0
Gillibrand 2 2 1 1
Cuomo 1 1 0 1
O'Malley 8.5 3 0 3
Webb 9 2 0 5
Sanders 0.25 0 0 1
Patrick 0.25 1 0 1
(Field) 5 3 4 16

Clinton 72.5, (Field) 4.5, Webb 3.5, Warren 3, Biden 3, O'Malley 3, Gillibrand 1.5, Cuomo 1, Patrick 0.625, Sanders 0.125

Earlier estimates:

Micah Cohen on Twitter: "We forgot Rubio! New totally subjective odds for the 2016 field, from @NateSilver538, @ForecasterEnten and I http://t.co/cCOVOtBCq1"
- Micah Nate Harry
CC 10 6 8
SW 17 20 17
Romney 6 10 15
JB 15 17 20
Paul 12 10 10
Pence 6 4 5
MH 5 5 2
RS 2 1 1
BJ 1 4 6
Perry 13 1 2
Rubio 6 13 9
(Field) 7 9 5

JB 17, SW 17, Paul 10, Romney 10, Rubio 9, CC 8, (Field) 7, MH 5, Pence 5, BJ 4, Perry 2, RS 1

Micah Cohen on Twitter: "And finally, totally subjective odds for the 2016 democrats, from @NateSilver538, @ForecasterEnten and me http://t.co/3qL8GU8zIn"
- Micah Nate Harry
B. Sanders 1 0 0
H. Clinton 76 75 90
M. O'Malley 6 2 0
J. Biden 4 7 3
E. Warren 1 7 4
A. Cuomo 1 1 0
D. Patrick 1 1 1
J. Webb 7 3 0
(Field) 3 4 2

H. Clinton 76, E. Warren 4, J. Biden 4, J. Webb 3, (Field) 3, M. O'Malley 2, A. Cuomo 1, D. Patrick 1, B. Sanders 0
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Old 02-01-2015, 05:50 PM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

I have basically lost faith with politics. I don't think it's CT to say that the parties are bought by people who don't represent you or me. Just one case in point, not particularly important on it's own, but just to illustrate the type of bullshit...

Interior plan: Open Atlantic Coast to offshore drilling - Darren Goode - POLITICO

You can't claim to care about climate change and then do this. Just shut the fuck up, okay?

There were other things like some tax benefits were lost to the poors and paid for by breaks to the super wealthy, sorry I don't remember the details, but I'm not really paying attention anymore.
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Old 02-02-2015, 04:38 AM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephen Maturin View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyShea View Post
So, I have decided to watch things and laugh, rather than cry and get all stressed out.
This is sound, and I'm going to copy off of you! And when the laughter is done and it's time to cast ballots, I will straight up throw away my vote on the looniest, most wild eyed, far left whackadoo on the ballot.
You live in a swing state, so your vote may actually have meaning. My state eats, sleeps, breathes, as well as bleeds the reddest of red. The only reason I still vote at all is because I feel this horrid guilt if I don't (damn dirty hippies indoctrinated me with civic duty).

Anyhoo, I can do whatever I want on that ballot to the exact same effect as throwing it in the trash, so maybe I'll have some fun with it in 2016.
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Old 02-02-2015, 05:25 AM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

It was my impression that the Republican analysis was that a large field of Republican presidential candidates running each other down for months on end was one of the factors they wanted to avoid in the next presidential cycle; additionally that the main financial backers of the Republican party were going to throw their weight behind a candidate early and squeeze out the rest of the pack by starving them of money.
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Old 02-02-2015, 06:42 AM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

So they're saying "we Republicans should all agree on one candidate."

I wonder if there's a pre-existing process for reaching that result :chin:
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Old 02-02-2015, 07:04 AM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

:yup:

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Old 02-02-2015, 01:44 PM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

Quote:
Originally Posted by chunksmediocrites View Post
It was my impression that the Republican analysis was that a large field of Republican presidential candidates running each other down for months on end was one of the factors they wanted to avoid in the next presidential cycle; additionally that the main financial backers of the Republican party were going to throw their weight behind a candidate early and squeeze out the rest of the pack by starving them of money.
That seemed to be the given impression lo this many one month ago. One wonders if Romney's sudden departure wasn't due to this process.
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  #22  
Old 02-08-2015, 12:58 AM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race


Seymour Lessans, shown here reading a book upside down, will run for president as the candidate of the We Read Books Upside Down Party.


FOCUS ON POLITICS
Seymour Lessans Throws Tinfoil Hat Into '16 Ring
Because, Why the Fuck Not?*

FREETHOUGHT-FORUM.COM (Internet News Service) -- The man who once sued a president, now wants to be the president.

Seymour Lessans, astute observer of reality, pool-hall bon vivant and aluminum-sidings salesman, is running for president, his daughter and chief of staff, peacegirl, announced on Saturday, in a short-wave radio broadcast from an undisclosed underground bunker in Ding Dong Land. In the late 70s, Lessans sued President Carter for refusing to grant him an Oval Office meeting so that he could demonstrate an undeniably true crackpot theory of his.

"It doesn't matter that he's dead," peacegirl asserted through hisses of short-wave static, sounding pre-emptively churlish. "Even though he's dead he's still alive, though he's a different person because of the germinal substance. This is part of his third discovery and if you deny it, you are a just mean and bitter individual because your precious world view is under assault. I understand that, but you're ruining it for everyone."

Peacegirl added that the Jews who were slaughtered by Hitler should get over it already, because they are still alive as different people, though many of them are no longer even Jewish. How this appeal will play to Jewish voters is unknown.

Lessans, peacegirl said, would run on a platform based on his book, The Decline and Fall of All Evil, a utopian Sacred Text. Among the planks of his platform: man's will is not free, so world peace; the eye is not a sense organ; dogs can't recognize their masters from sight alone; if God turned on the sun at noon, people on earth would see it immediately but not their neighbors for eight and a half minutes; and so there.

Lessans, sources say, plans to run as an independent, bearing the banner of the We Read Books Upside Down Party. This is an allusion to the fact that Lessans, a voracious reader, read hundreds of thousands of books in his lifetime, all of them upside down.

Political analysts said the time was ripe for a Lessans candidacy, as the American public seems to be getting dumber by the day.

"The Republican Party is now catering to anti-vaxxers, as well as misogynists, Obama birfers and, of course, anti-evolutionists." E. Mota Kahn, a message-board analyst for the RAND Corporation, pointed out. "The 'We Read Books Upside Down Party' could outflank the G.O.P. on the loony-tunes right and peel off tens of millions of votes."

Conducting a campaign via short-wave radio from an underground bunker in Ding Dong Land was a promising strategy, noted Stephen Maturin, a raving lunatic and a great big horse's ass who posts regularly at the Freethought-Forum message board where peacegirl used to hang out, reprimanding her interlocutors for being Big Meanies.

"You hear some very cool stuff from around the world on shortwave radio," Maturin said. "You also hear a lot of lunacy. My, oh my, what a motley collection of doomsday preppers, mentally ill fundamentalist preachers and preacher wannabes, conspiracy whackadoos and other apocalyptic fruit loops! If the Sacred Text can't find an audience on shortwave radio, then the audience straight up doesn't exist."

*Sorry, was bored at work today and taking a stroll down memory lane in Teh Big Thrad! :D Ah, the lulz! We'll never see their likes again!
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  #23  
Old 02-10-2015, 05:58 PM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

In an effort to prove how tech savy he is Jeb Bush has recently posted a chunk of e-mails sent to him during his governorship online. This has included names e-mail addresses and potential real addresses of many who never realized their communications might one day be searchable.
http://jebemails.org/
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  #24  
Old 02-12-2015, 02:38 AM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

Scott Walker Dodges Question On Whether He Believes In Evolution
Quote:
Speaking at the Chatham House foreign policy think tank London, Walker was asked: "Are you comfortable with the idea of evolution? Do you believe in it?"

"For me, I am going to punt on that one as well," he said. "That's a question politicians shouldn't be involved in one way or another. I am going to leave that up to you. I'm here to talk about trade, not to pontificate about evolution."

Walker also alluded to the expectation back in the United States that he would run for president, noting the media had described him as "bland" as a prospective candidate. "I'd rather be bland than stupid, or ignorant, or moronic," he said.

Walker isn't the only would-be White House hopeful to dodge the issue. Last year, Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal (R) declined three times to answer the same question. "The reality is I'm not an evolutionary biologist," he explained.
LOL Jindal. How does that work? Can I use it?

Do you believe in God?
The reality is I'm not an ordained minister or other professional theologian
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  #25  
Old 02-18-2015, 11:00 PM
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Default Re: 2016 Presidential Race

I can't imagine why anyone would think Jeb(!) Bush's foreign policy might resemble his brother's. The fact that he thinks that dumbfuck Wolfowitz is qualified for any position more important than dog-catcher should be a disqualification for the presidency purely on its own.

I'd also like to point out that I made a thrad about the 2016 race already :sadcheer: Could they be merged maybe?

Also, too: Borowitz.
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