Best Birther Lunacy Evar

[Jerome]

pubic hair on a pepsi can

[Stephen Maturin]

:shakenigger:

:shaketeacher:

:shakegovernment:

:shakeparasite:

:shakeniggergovernmentteacherparasite:

Hmm. Off to the smilie request thread!

[ChuckF]

Heh, looks like Orly may have committed some light perjury. Get ready for some serious because an Orly filing is involved, but stick with me.

She filed this typically horrible abortion of a motion in Hawaii on January 19. On page 5, she says:

I, Dr. Orly Taitz, ESQ, declare under penalty of perjury, that I was given commission and subpoena

Except, uh, she didn't have a commission from the Georgia ALJ. We know that because the ALJ denied her request for a commission on January 27, eight days after she represented in a filing made under penalty of perjury that she had such commission.

Fortunately for Orly, hilarious incompetence is probably a defense to perjury here.

[LadyShea]

All rules not apply to Orly!

[Stephen Maturin]

Originally Posted by ChuckF

Fortunately for Orly, hilarious incompetence is probably a defense to perjury here.

You're probably right! That blogger went the extra mile and found the applicable criminal statute. Perjury is "mak[ing], under an oath required or authorized by law, a false statement which the person does not believe to be true."

Orly might well say something along the lines of:


...................

Anyone hearing that statement might justifiably think, "No one is so fuck-all, pants-shittingly stupid as to believe that requesting a commission for an out-of-state depo is the same as having the commission." Then that person would think, "Oh yeah - Orly. lol nevermind."

The smart course would be for Orly to stop verifying her filings. Guess what's not going to happen!

Originally Posted by LadyShea

All rules not apply to Orly!

Eez vin! Eez vin!

[LadyShea]

I hope she has brought many enlarged exhibits

[ChuckF]

Will Chito Papa finally take the stand?

[Stephen Maturin]

[ChuckF]

It has now been conclusively proven that Ron Paul is constitutionally ineligible to be President. Just like Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, Chris Christie, Bobby Jindal, Marco Rubio, and countless others. Mitt Romney is a Mexican, and Ron Paul is a German. Read the verified complaint in Tisdale v. Obama (PDF file) to see the truth. The court in the Eastern District of Virginia (part of the notoriously conservative Fourth Circuit) dismissed this complaint for failure to state a claim, which positively proves that everything in the complaint is undeniably true, because the fix is in.

Plaintiff wrote two letters explaining the law very clearly, and the court still dismissed! TYRANNY!

Why are RONPAUL, Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, et al. having the federal courts do all their dirty work for them? Why are they so worried about discovery? If they are eligible to be President, why don't they just prove it in a court of law? Why haven't they volunteered the evidence to the court? What are they hiding? Why are they so worried about discovery?

JEROME, can you answer any of these questions?

[Janet]

I know I'm not supposed to take any of this seriously, but if George Romney was supposedly a Mexican citizen, why didn't that come up when he ran for president himself?

Also, I like the fact that Obama's father was a citizen of "Kenya. Africa." yet none of the other countries mentioned had their continents specified.

[ChuckF]

Originally Posted by Janet

I know I'm not supposed to take any of this seriously, but if George Romney was supposedly a Mexican citizen, why didn't that come up when he ran for president himself?

George Romney was a white guy? Duh.

[Stephen Maturin]

Originally Posted by ChuckF

JEROME, can you answer any of these questions?

Jerome believes that RONPAUL should drop out forthwith. Any suggestion of ineligibility is dispositive, and RONPAUL staying in the race would only serve to siphon off votes from legitimate candidates like Alan Keyes.

[Pyrrho]

Edited. Posted in wrong thread.

[ChuckF]

Originally Posted by ChuckF

The 9th Circuit finally got around to ruling on Orly's awesome Drake v. Obama and GUESS WHAT YOU GUYS the birthers did not win.

So a couple of these plaintiffs filed a petition for an en banc rehearing. Here is a PDF of that petition, hosted by the "United States Justice Foundation," which is Gary Kreep's thang. (Kreep is a terrible lawyer who represented some of these jokers and then threw in with Orly. But he's not nearly as entertaining as Orly, and things went south pretty quickly. The Kreep-Taitz saga is pretty great in itself.)

Believe it or not, the petition was denied! Here is a PDF of the order, but it is sufficiently brief to be quoted in full:

The petitions for panel rehearing and rehearing en banc filed by Plaintiffs-Appellants Wiley S. Drake and Markham Robinson are DENIED.

Now the only real question is whether SCOTUS will grant cert. Will they???????

[Stephen Maturin]

the Justice Berzon

What a fiendishly clever esquire! He almost sweet-talked himself into a rehearing by promoting Judge Marsha Berzon of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit -- who, being a lady, is extra susceptible to the sweet-talkin' -- to the Supreme Court!

[Dingfod]

If my name was Kreep, I'd change my name.

[Jerome]

The fix was in, Orly spoke.

[Dingfod]

If my name was Jerome, I'd jump in front of a bus.

[ChuckF]

Now we've all heard how it's just not fair to the birthers to make this all about Orly, because she is not representative of all birthers! JEROME babbled something about skill of the advocate being blah blah blah, whatever. Well, there are birthers other than Orly, and they are also busy filing very important lawsuits that will fail!

Like this one! Some neo-Confederate (I know, ) dude named Van Irion filed this bad boy in the district of Arizona. It purports to be a class action alleging fraud and negligent misrepresentation of Obama's qualifications. But whom is he suing? Who is the defendant here? I'm glad you asked, because that is where some lulz are involved!

The complaint names two defendants. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, who is a Congresswoman from Florida and chair of the Democratic National Committee, and the "National Democratic Party of the USA, Inc." Now, who is this National Democratic Party of the USA, Inc.? Is it the National Democratic Party? Who knows?

The lulz multiply from there. That link explains all about how the plaintiffs made a pretty hilarious and failed attempt to serve some volunteer for the Arizona Democratic Party, which - shocking, I know - probably didn't work. It's like that time Orly Taitz just printed some subpoenas off of the Internet and was like "Good enough" and then committed perjury.

Anyway, there is an amended complaint which still fails to name the proper parties. Apparently there is a second amended complaint, filed in late January, that actually names the DNC. It only took three months and two amended filings for anybody to notice that the named defendant doesn't exist. Would have been p. cool if he had gotten a default judgment and injunctive relief against the "National Democratic Party of the USA, Inc.", though, preventing Obama from being the nominee of the "National Democratic Party of the USA, Inc." Anyway, after taking only a little more than three months to get the parties right, these brave birthers are now tackling the more complicated issue of service of process, and how it is done! Will they figure that one out before inauguration day?

And when is Sheriff Joe going to release the findings of his birther posse?!

[ChuckF]

please to be deleting this double poast

[LadyShea]

There's also the dude I get important news updates from, Philip J Berg, purveyor of all crimes Obama at ObamaCrimes.com

[Stephen Maturin]

Originally Posted by ChuckF

Some neo-Confederate (I know, ) dude named Van Irion

Mr. Irion was counsel for one of the plaintiffs in the recently-concluded Georgia Office of State Administrative Hearings proceedings that resulted in a determination that Obama is eligible to be the president. He lost on the merits, but in that case at least managed to name the correct defendant.

Incidentally, Irion is from the wingnut lunatic Liberty Legal Foundation, which should not be confused with the wingnut lunatic Liberty Counsel. They are wholly different lunatic organizations.

Originally Posted by ChuckF

And when is Sheriff Joe going to release the findings of his birther posse?!

March 1 and not a minute sooner!

Arpaio declined to release to WND any of the posse’s conclusions in advance of the press conference, although he is on record saying the findings may be “shocking” to many.

. . .

The posse was constituted as a 501(c)3 organization, designed to cost the people of Maricopa County nothing, while enabling people from around the country to contribute to its mission.

[Jerome]

Originally Posted by Stephen Maturin

Alan Keyes

Home State.

[ChuckF]

JEROME, your god Orly Taitz has filed an "Appeal of Administrative Decision Emergency Stay Application" (thanks to the Fogbow, the very best damn forum for talking about birthers) in Fulton County Superior Court! It appears that she did not get your message about how the Secretary of State's decision is unreviewable or whatever dumbass wrong thing you said. Also, it looks kind of like she named "Barack Obama, Secretary of State" as a party, but whatever, let's not quibble, I know naming the proper party is super difficult for your god.

Anyway, here are some highlights! On Ankeny:

Defense did not provide Ankeny v Daniels at the hearing. Malihi was supposed to base his opinion on what is in the record. Ankeny v Daniels was not part of the record. The most basic rules of courtroom decorum and basic fairness, were supposed to preclude Malihi from even entering Ankeny in his opinion. This case was never cited by the defense. Plaintiffs had no opportunity to provide a rebuttal and explain numerous points, as to why Ankeny is erroneous and why it does not apply. A presiding judge cannot suddenly pull out of a hat some case, brought in a circuit court of another state by some truck driver, who could not even afford an attorney, and use this case as the basis of his final ruling in the case at hand when it was never part of the record in the case at hand.

JEROME! Do you think that your god is correct that "[t]he most basic rules of courtroom decorum and basic fairness, were supposed to preclude Malihi from even entering Ankeny in his opinion?"

Also, look at Orly criticizing cases filed by just some truck driver who can't even afford an attorney, god, just keep donating to Orly's Paypal, ok buddy?

There is tons of quality Orlyiana in here.

Kemp denied such twelfth hour request

On what basis did judge Malihi consider Obama to be born in this country? Did he consider him born in this country based on his wild imagination? The only thing Obama provided, was an empty chair. Did the empty chair testify under penalty of perjury in front of judge Malihi and told him, that Obama was born in this country? (underlining in original)

JEROME, your god is upset about losing to an empty chair.

The behavior of Malihi was so outrageous, that not only his advisory opinion needs to be set aside, but state and county grand juries and the Attorney General of Georgia need to launch an investigation into actions of judge Malihi and possible direct or indirect undue influence by Obama. (underlining in original)

Similarly Malihi's reliance on a decision in Ankeny v Daniels, an obscure case in Indiana, brought by two pro se litigants with zero knowledge of law and without any input of any legal counsel, is erroneous.

Interestingly, those "two pro se litigants with zero knowledge of the law" actually got a hearing on the merits. They made it, ma!

Hahahahahaha Chito Papa is in here too, on page 13. He graduated from, uh, "ITT, Indiana technical institute department of information technology."

Malihi never provided any explanation, why Taitz testimony was not persuasive.

loooool why Taitz testimony was not persuasive indeed! Any ideas, JEROME?

Oh and then the court denied her pro hac vice motion because she just pretty much did not conform with any of the rules for filing that. As a result she is going to have to find some local counsel of record pronto.

JEROME, your god is a hilarious god. So, JEROME: how do you think the Court will rule on your god's latest motions?

[LadyShea]

I need an I Orly t-shirt. She makes me so happy. The lack of "the"s still cracks me up every time, which is probably really mean of me.