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Old 08-12-2008, 09:04 PM
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Default Bigfoot Bared

Attention amateur cryptozoologists and other Bigfoot nutsfans: This Friday, August 15th, at 12 noon at the Cabana Hotel-Palo Alto (A Crown Plaza Resort) 4290 El Camino Real, Palo Alto, California 94306, DNA results and photos of the remains of a dead Bigfoot creature found in northern Georgia will be revealed to the press. Proof positive of the existence of the legendary Sasquatch.

TFA on cryptomundo.comThe creature is seven feet seven inches tall, weighs over five hundred pounds, looks part human and part ape, male, with reddish hair and blackish-grey eyes, two arms and two legs, and five fingers on each hand and five toes on each foot. The feet are flat and similar to human feet with a footprint sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five and three-quarters inches wide at the heel. From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide. The creatures walk upright. Its teeth are more human-like than ape-like.


I suppose a critical examination of the evidence will be allowed.
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Old 08-13-2008, 02:55 AM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

I hope they fucking clone it! :cheer:
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Old 08-13-2008, 08:16 PM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

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Originally Posted by Ensign Steve View Post
I hope they fucking clone it! :cheer:
Naa! Then they would make a pet of it, teach it to talk and make it wear clothes. Once the genetic errors begin to express, this will lead to a Tourette's-like failure to control profanity. Once this begin, we will have no choice but to push the beast off a cliff. Then, of course, someone goes to jail for making an obscene clone fall. :(
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Old 08-13-2008, 08:38 PM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

:applaud:

Oh my god, that was fabulous.
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Old 08-14-2008, 12:04 AM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

This, like the lightning strike, completely reeked of AWESOME.
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Old 08-14-2008, 12:10 AM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

They're sure it's not Billy Carter after a bender?
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Old 08-14-2008, 12:49 AM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

So, let me see if I've got this straight.

They're presenting photos of a dead Sasquatch, not an actual body that can be examined? Well, everybody knows that photos can't be faked and that they're every bit as useful as a necropsy.

Oh, and they're presenting "DNA results," not tissue samples that can be independently analyzed by disinterested experts? Because, as everyone knows, there's no way a dishonest person with just a teensy bit of knowledge of molecular biology could whip up some fake DNA results.



No, doesn't sound suspicious to me. Not one bit.

Cheers,

Michael
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  #8  
Old 08-14-2008, 01:04 AM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

How can you do a DNA test if you don't have known DNA from a Bigfoot to compare it to?
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Old 08-14-2008, 01:09 AM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

What if it shares 96% of it's DNA with chimpanzees?
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Old 08-14-2008, 01:13 AM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

You couldn't establish that it's a "Bigfoot," of course. Not with only a single sample.

However, if an analysis showed that the DNA came from a creature that was closely-related to humans and other apes, but that it didn't match any known species, that would be sufficient to establish that it was from a previously-unknown species.

The thing is, anyone with a little knowledge could easily whip up a fake "DNA analysis" indicating that the DNA in question came from a previously-unknown creature that was closely-related to humans and other apes. I'd demand actual tissue samples that could be independently analyzed before I'd take their claims with any degree of seriousness whatsoever.

Cheers,

Michael
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Old 08-14-2008, 01:25 AM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

Another scientician ruins all the fun. :sadcheer:
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  #12  
Old 08-14-2008, 03:34 AM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

I've been wondering what happened to my old boss from Colorado. He had to duck going through doorways, was hairy as hell, and was nicknamed 'Chewy' after Chewbacca the Wookie in Star Wars. He once fought a bear in a bar and won. He once managed to wade into a Christmas Eve bar brawl and separate the townies and the oilfield trash, for the latter he was the designated driver. I wonder if he retired to Georgia or something. I can picture it now, he goes out bowhunting in the woods, some redneck shoots him, thinking he's found Bigfoot, and now this. Dave, if you're out there, give me a shout, I'm worried about you.
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  #13  
Old 08-14-2008, 05:28 AM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

Quote:
Once the genetic errors begin to express, this will lead to a Tourette's-like failure to control profanity. Once this begin, we will have no choice but to push the beast off a cliff.
Or we could shave it and make Lee Majors fall in love with it.
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  #14  
Old 08-14-2008, 09:04 AM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

Tsk. Julian May covered all this. Sasquatches (and their isolated but similar relatives like yetis) can't be captured because they're metapsychically active, and strong in farsensing and creativity.

Amateurs.
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Old 08-14-2008, 02:52 PM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

It's always tragic when a young Sasquatch becomes metaphysically active too early in life.
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Old 08-14-2008, 03:10 PM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

There's no financial upside to this discovery. The beef jerky guys have got the Bigfoots so pissed, they'll never agree to any product endorsements.
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Old 08-14-2008, 03:14 PM
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Question Re: Bigfoot Bared

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Lone Ranger View Post
You couldn't establish that it's a "Bigfoot," of course. Not with only a single sample.

However, if an analysis showed that the DNA came from a creature that was closely-related to humans and other apes, but that it didn't match any known species, that would be sufficient to establish that it was from a previously-unknown species.

The thing is, anyone with a little knowledge could easily whip up a fake "DNA analysis" indicating that the DNA in question came from a previously-unknown creature that was closely-related to humans and other apes. I'd demand actual tissue samples that could be independently analyzed before I'd take their claims with any degree of seriousness whatsoever.

Cheers,

Michael
If they faked the DNA analysis, couldn't they also fake a tissue sample?
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Old 08-14-2008, 03:18 PM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

I imagine it is a lot easier to put fake numbers on a piece of paper than it is to manipulate cells at the molecular level.
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Old 08-14-2008, 03:38 PM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

A picture is worth a thousand words.
Looks like a cheap costume and some animal entrails


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Old 08-14-2008, 03:58 PM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

HOLY SHIT IT'S BIGFOOT!
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  #21  
Old 08-14-2008, 06:46 PM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

It must have worn braces when it was a kid.
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Old 08-15-2008, 12:18 AM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

Eewwwww, cryptointestines! :yuck:
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Old 08-15-2008, 01:36 AM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

Quote:
Originally Posted by MonCapitan2002 View Post
If they faked the DNA analysis, couldn't they also fake a tissue sample?
The point being was given a tissue sample an independent lab could then analyze and confirm or dismiss the DNA results. He was saying they could fake the results not necessarily meaning the DNA itself. I'm not sure how it would be possible to "fake" the DNA the independent lab would extract from the tissue sample, but then again it's been a few years since I've done any DNA work.
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  #24  
Old 08-15-2008, 02:05 AM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ensign Steve View Post
I imagine it is a lot easier to put fake numbers on a piece of paper than it is to manipulate cells at the molecular level.
Exactly so. If they can rewrite the DNA in tissue samples, so as to fool skeptics, I'd be really impressed!

Cheers,

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Old 08-15-2008, 02:48 AM
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Default Re: Bigfoot Bared

Didn't I see that thing in an episode of Bionic Woman?

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