Utility crews were astonished when a man dressed as Santa towing a nativity scene drove past the road closure barricades allowing his plastic donkey to contact downed power lines. The lines had been brought down by a previous accident involving a woman striking a power pole with he automobile.
I'm sure this was an elaborate plot to steal copper wires.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
I remember, maybe a year ago, National Geographic had an all Africa issue, and this was one of the topics discussed. I forget the exact locations and whatnot, but the premise was that the populations were growing on the borders of wildlife preserves there, because of the big business of bush meat. People would steal into the preserves and poach. For some, it's how they survive, even though the money they see is fractual compared to the big dollars being spent in New York and other places for this meat.
A cargo container from an unknown ship broke open scattering bags of Doritos all over the beaches of Hatteras Island, North Carolina. Following the "time honored" tradition of wreck salvage, a number people were seen picking up garbage bags full of the Frito-Lay chips, which were still good because of their airtight packaging. One person was even seen hauling away a truckload of them.
I bet the bean dip sank.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Lancashire authorities plan to deter crime by bathing the town in pink lighting. Police Inspector John Ainsworth is hopeful the lights could lead to a drop in anti-social behaviour.
A punk band called The Mormons dress in dark pants, short-sleeved white shirts and cheap ties, bicycle helmets and backpacks in publicity photos and on stage.
It's just a gimmick, none of the band are LDS (Mormons). Why then this gimmick?
Whatever "rock out correctly" is, they're getting media attention, at least in Utah.
A punk band called The Mormons dress in dark pants, short-sleeved white shirts and cheap ties, bicycle helmets and backpacks in publicity photos and on stage.
It's just a gimmick, none of the band are LDS (Mormons). Why then this gimmick?
Whatever "rock out correctly" is, they're getting media attention, at least in Utah.
Man accused of faking mental retardation after being seen fighting a traffic ticket in court. His mother had been collecting disability payments since he was 8 years old, about 20 years. The pair have been indicted on conspiracy to defraud the government of over $110,000.
I bet they don't have the money.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
The story isn't that odd, the girl spent the night at a friend's house without her parent's knowledge. That happens now and then. What is odd is the police spokesperson, Captain Tom McLauchlan mentioned in the article is a former coworker of mine. I knew him when he was a disillusioned former police officer who decided he wanted to raise his children in the wilds of Wyoming in a cabin of his own construct.
Tom was a guy I've mentioned before, one of the guys on my shift at the gas sweetening plant that used to sleep on the job. He even kept a foam mattress in the ceiling of the plant office building just for that purpose. Other than sleeping on the job, Tom was a very disciplined and fairly likeable guy, even though a smartass. He and I worked together for about six months. Like my wife, Tom's wife hated Wyoming, hated it with a passion.
Tom went back to being a police officer in the Valley of Salt after less than one year in Wyoming. If not for him quitting, my long-time friend Tyler and I would likely have never met. Tyler replaced Tom on my shift. Tyler and I still stay in touch.
One story Tom told that stuck with me was about his Grandfather McLauchlin, who, on his deathbed, confessed to the family that he wasn't Irish at all, he was Scottish, but lied about it when he came to the USA because was wanted by the law in Scotland and had been lying about it ever since. Several of Tom's aunts, who had wrapped themselves up quite a bit in their "Irish" ancestry, were quite devastated at the news. For some reason, I found that quite amusing and that's why it stuck with me.
Anyway, Tom went back to Utah in the Spring of 1982. In the Spring of 1989 we moved there too. One day I was watching the news, there was Tom on the TV, SARGEANT Tom McLauchlin. Yea, Tom! About a decade later, I saw him again, this time it was Lieutenant Tom McLauchlin, police spokesman. Captain Tom, I salute you.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
A Dutch company has produced a video so lonely people don't have to eat Christmas dinner alone. The DVD features dinner guests eating, drinking and talking. It features different actors reading scripts, the buyer's choice.
Producers said "The client can watch the DVD while sitting and eating in front of the television."
While eating their Hungry Man turkey and dressing dinner, I suppose.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Gregory Weed, 18, was charged with driving under the influence, possession of drug paraphernalia, and failure to use a turn signal; Timothy Weed, 19, was charged with possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia after police stopped the pair for erratic driving.
Tell the judge you can't smoke yourself. That'll work.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Man accused of faking mental retardation after being seen fighting a traffic ticket in court. His mother had been collecting disability payments since he was 8 years old, about 20 years. The pair have been indicted on conspiracy to defraud the government of over $110,000.
I bet they don't have the money.
heh ive acutually done that,(the fake retard thing, not the fraud) having a really bad stutter makes it easy.
A Florida phone sex worker was awarded her Workman's Compensation claim for a repetitive motion injury in both hands resulting from her masturbating on the job as many as seven times a day as she talked sex talk to their clients. Her attorney said "She was told to do whatever it takes to keep the person on the phone as long as possible." Perhaps, but the person on the other end of the line doesn't know whether you're really touching yourself or not.
Seven times a day? I would think repetitive rawness would result long before carpal tunnel syndrome.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Singer-"actress" Mariah Carey has threatened legal action to stop porn star Mary Carey from getting a trademark on her name. Mary Carey, the one that ran against the Governator in 2002? Carey is concerned about the possible confusion in the names because she wants to trademark the name for audio and video recordings.
Given the way Mariah dresses and the average fan's intelligence, maybe. No, not that Mary is Mariah, but that Mariah is a porn star.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Pastor of a Mt. Airy, NC church was arrested for brandishing a firearm after a pistol-waving sermon. Turns out Pastor Dusty had been convicted in 1990 in Virginia for conspiracy to distribute cocaine and possession of a firearm during drug trafficking. As a felon, possession of a firearm is prohibited, as is brandishing one, even a toy one, apparently.
Just a wild guess here, but it was probably because impersonating a blind man isn't against the law, but impersonating a police officer and brandishing a firearm by a convicted felon might be.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
So he's saying he told people he was a police officer and a US marshal only to illustrate some moral point? Odd that he never had the opportunity to bring up his drug-dealing in the course of imparting moral lessons.
Jason Lee (not the My Name is Earl actor) of Byron Township, Michigan set up the holiday lights on his home to be a homage to Ebenezer Scrooge, of Dicken's Christmas Carol fame. Lights on his property spell out Bah Hum Bug. Neighbors don't seem to be bothered by it a bit, Lee says he likes the holidays and is just having a bit of fun.
Keep saying that after they don't give you a gift, Sandy.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
So he's saying he told people he was a police officer and a US marshal only to illustrate some moral point? Odd that he never had the opportunity to bring up his drug-dealing in the course of imparting moral lessons.
Crazy stuff, ain't it?
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Just in time for the holidays, at Fred Markham's hot dog stand in suburban Chicago, reindeer dogs, made in Alaska of reindeer meat with a bit of beef and pork because the reindeer meat is a bit lean and dry, for only $8. Fred first tried them on a trip to Alaska, deciding to make them a holiday offering at his business in the Lower 48. Fred's other exotic fare include smoked alligator-and-pork sausages and buffalo bratwursts.
Mmmm, meat.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
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