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Old 07-02-2017, 01:53 AM
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Default Things I Learned Long Ago

1: If you wanna shoop, you gotta shuggety.

2: Good girls like sex just as much as bad girls do. Good girls just don't want to be talked about.

3: Never trust anybody who says "I know what I said, but." or "That was then, this is now."

4: When money is involved, GET IT IN WRITING.
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  #2  
Old 07-02-2017, 07:17 PM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

Never trust anyone who says "Trust me, would I lie?" they probably are lying.

Teachers don't always know what they are talking about, and sometimes what they teach is completely wrong.

If you give someone some money and never see them again, think of it as a good investment.
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  #3  
Old 07-02-2017, 07:42 PM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

Believe me.
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Old 07-02-2017, 07:59 PM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

The big smile...the one that looks like it would hurt if held too long? I don't trust that.

In love lost, there are lots of pretty lies.
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Old 07-02-2017, 09:04 PM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

The person who likes everyone, doesn't like everyone.
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  #6  
Old 07-03-2017, 01:49 AM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

This new tax is for the children.
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What a man believes upon grossly insufficient evidence is an index into his desires -- desires of which he himself is often unconscious. ... The origin of myths is explained in this way.
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Old 07-03-2017, 12:39 PM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

Fuck off Jerome, adults are talking.
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  #8  
Old 07-03-2017, 02:23 PM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by Corona688 View Post
The person who likes everyone, doesn't like everyone.
A person who likes everyone, doesn't like anyone.

:fixed:
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Old 07-03-2017, 02:24 PM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

I don't like morning people.

Actually I don't like mornings, or people.
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Old 07-04-2017, 12:43 AM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

I am here from the government to help.
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What a man believes upon grossly insufficient evidence is an index into his desires -- desires of which he himself is often unconscious. ... The origin of myths is explained in this way.
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Old 07-11-2017, 06:50 PM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

"Jerome." What a dreadfully tinny sort of word, like "Newspaper" or "Litterbin."

Certainly not a word that fills one with confidence, like "Gone" or "Sausage."
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Old 07-12-2017, 05:43 AM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

one day you will sit on the toilet with the seat up and then...then you will know.
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Old 07-13-2017, 07:48 PM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

Never trust a homeowner who "knows where the wire is" with a shovel.
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Old 07-13-2017, 08:12 PM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyuss Apollo View Post
"Jerome." What a dreadfully tinny sort of word, like "Newspaper" or "Litterbin."

Certainly not a word that fills one with confidence, like "Gone" or "Sausage."
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  #15  
Old 07-14-2017, 04:27 AM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by godfry n. glad View Post
I wish I could un-see that.
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Old 07-28-2017, 02:55 AM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

One thing I learned long ago. Video games are fun in moderation. Anyone who tells you video games are just for kids should be tied up, have a sock shoved in their mouth and be forced to watch a golf game.
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  #17  
Old 07-28-2017, 04:48 PM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

Don't give rent money to an alcoholic, give it to their landlord.
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  #18  
Old 07-28-2017, 04:50 PM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

Don't trust friendship alone to hold together a business.
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  #19  
Old 07-28-2017, 08:26 PM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by Corona688 View Post
Don't trust friendship alone to hold together a business.
Many years ago I owned a business, and the primary question from the suppliers was is it a partnership or a sole proprietorship. The suppliers were very relieves when I said that I owned it myself, apparently they had some bad experiences with partnerships.
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  #20  
Old 07-28-2017, 11:44 PM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

Ooh! I have one: When someone tells you they're deplorable, believe them.
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  #21  
Old 07-29-2017, 12:44 AM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

Never believe the word "always"

It just means "until something better comes along"
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  #22  
Old 07-29-2017, 06:38 AM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

i learned that if you cup your hand slightly when going in for a handshake it prevents assholes from attempting to crush your hand in an attempt to dominate you.
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  #23  
Old 07-29-2017, 11:01 AM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

I learned that plastic surgery enhanced breasts feel different from natural ones but I also learned that I really don't give a shit when I'm touching them.
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Old 07-29-2017, 11:07 AM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

I also learned that getting thrown out of a car into a tree hard enough might cause permanent brain damage, and it's sometimes amazing to me that I can learn anything anymore.
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  #25  
Old 07-29-2017, 12:08 PM
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Default Re: Things I Learned Long Ago

Ouch. I am sorry you had to go through.
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