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  #51  
Old 12-03-2006, 06:32 AM
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Santa's ass beheaded.

Utility crews were astonished when a man dressed as Santa towing a nativity scene drove past the road closure barricades allowing his plastic donkey to contact downed power lines. The lines had been brought down by a previous accident involving a woman striking a power pole with he automobile.

I'm sure this was an elaborate plot to steal copper wires.
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  #52  
Old 12-03-2006, 08:37 AM
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I remember, maybe a year ago, National Geographic had an all Africa issue, and this was one of the topics discussed. I forget the exact locations and whatnot, but the premise was that the populations were growing on the borders of wildlife preserves there, because of the big business of bush meat. People would steal into the preserves and poach. For some, it's how they survive, even though the money they see is fractual compared to the big dollars being spent in New York and other places for this meat.
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  #53  
Old 12-05-2006, 08:02 AM
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Fish and chips?

A cargo container from an unknown ship broke open scattering bags of Doritos all over the beaches of Hatteras Island, North Carolina. Following the "time honored" tradition of wreck salvage, a number people were seen picking up garbage bags full of the Frito-Lay chips, which were still good because of their airtight packaging. One person was even seen hauling away a truckload of them.

the articleSteve Hissey, who runs the tackle shop at Teach’s Lair marina in Hatteras received a call from a charter boat captain.

“How’s the fishing?” Hissey asked.

“I got two stripers and 35 bags of Doritos,” the captain answered.

Hissey said charter captains were angling for striped bass off the shoals when they spotted the container, broke it open and helped themselves.


I bet the bean dip sank.
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  #54  
Old 12-05-2006, 08:08 AM
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Pretty in pink?

Lancashire authorities plan to deter crime by bathing the town in pink lighting. Police Inspector John Ainsworth is hopeful the lights could lead to a drop in anti-social behaviour.
Insp. AinsworthPink lighting will make a difference to some people - perhaps not the hardcore element. It is one of a range of measures that we are thinking of using across the region.

Perhaps it will, in combination with Barry Manilow music.

Stop-gap measures being utilized until the precrime unit is up and running.
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  #55  
Old 12-06-2006, 03:29 AM
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Oh my heck!

A punk band called The Mormons dress in dark pants, short-sleeved white shirts and cheap ties, bicycle helmets and backpacks in publicity photos and on stage.



It's just a gimmick, none of the band are LDS (Mormons). Why then this gimmick?

the band's websiteWe don the image of Mormon missionaries symbolizing the dedication, the sacrifice, and the obsession common in most artists. THIS is the path WE have chosen and it is indeed a 'religious' experience in itself. Our mission is simple, to rock out correctly.

Whatever "rock out correctly" is, they're getting media attention, at least in Utah.

I bet they're not playing these songs.
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  #56  
Old 12-06-2006, 03:30 AM
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Default Re: Daily Dingfoddities

It's like Orgazmo only with rock instead of porn.
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  #57  
Old 12-06-2006, 03:45 AM
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Default Re: Daily Dingfoddities

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingfod
Oh my heck!

A punk band called The Mormons dress in dark pants, short-sleeved white shirts and cheap ties, bicycle helmets and backpacks in publicity photos and on stage.



It's just a gimmick, none of the band are LDS (Mormons). Why then this gimmick?

the band's websiteWe don the image of Mormon missionaries symbolizing the dedication, the sacrifice, and the obsession common in most artists. THIS is the path WE have chosen and it is indeed a 'religious' experience in itself. Our mission is simple, to rock out correctly.

Whatever "rock out correctly" is, they're getting media attention, at least in Utah.

I bet they're not playing these songs.

Those kids have been taking that LDS, haven't they?

If they don't watch out, they'll have a really bad trip and end up in....




Salt Lake City.
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  #58  
Old 12-06-2006, 07:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by livius drusus
It's like Orgazmo only with rock instead of porn.
Like Devo without the flower pots on their heads; it's Nerd Punk Rock.
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  #59  
Old 12-06-2006, 07:20 AM
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I didn't duhr it.

Man accused of faking mental retardation after being seen fighting a traffic ticket in court. His mother had been collecting disability payments since he was 8 years old, about 20 years. The pair have been indicted on conspiracy to defraud the government of over $110,000.

I bet they don't have the money.
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  #60  
Old 12-08-2006, 03:54 AM
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Missing 12 year old girl found when she showed up at school the next day.

The story isn't that odd, the girl spent the night at a friend's house without her parent's knowledge. That happens now and then. What is odd is the police spokesperson, Captain Tom McLauchlan mentioned in the article is a former coworker of mine. I knew him when he was a disillusioned former police officer who decided he wanted to raise his children in the wilds of Wyoming in a cabin of his own construct.

Tom was a guy I've mentioned before, one of the guys on my shift at the gas sweetening plant that used to sleep on the job. He even kept a foam mattress in the ceiling of the plant office building just for that purpose. Other than sleeping on the job, Tom was a very disciplined and fairly likeable guy, even though a smartass. He and I worked together for about six months. Like my wife, Tom's wife hated Wyoming, hated it with a passion.

Tom went back to being a police officer in the Valley of Salt after less than one year in Wyoming. If not for him quitting, my long-time friend Tyler and I would likely have never met. Tyler replaced Tom on my shift. Tyler and I still stay in touch.

One story Tom told that stuck with me was about his Grandfather McLauchlin, who, on his deathbed, confessed to the family that he wasn't Irish at all, he was Scottish, but lied about it when he came to the USA because was wanted by the law in Scotland and had been lying about it ever since. Several of Tom's aunts, who had wrapped themselves up quite a bit in their "Irish" ancestry, were quite devastated at the news. For some reason, I found that quite amusing and that's why it stuck with me.

Anyway, Tom went back to Utah in the Spring of 1982. In the Spring of 1989 we moved there too. One day I was watching the news, there was Tom on the TV, SARGEANT Tom McLauchlin. Yea, Tom! About a decade later, I saw him again, this time it was Lieutenant Tom McLauchlin, police spokesman. Captain Tom, I salute you.
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  #61  
Old 12-08-2006, 06:34 AM
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Default Re: Daily Dingfoddities

singingI'll be home for Christmas.
You can count on me.
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents under the tree.
Christmas Eve will find me
Where the love-light gleams.
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams.

A Dutch company has produced a video so lonely people don't have to eat Christmas dinner alone. The DVD features dinner guests eating, drinking and talking. It features different actors reading scripts, the buyer's choice.

Producers said "The client can watch the DVD while sitting and eating in front of the television."

While eating their Hungry Man turkey and dressing dinner, I suppose.
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  #62  
Old 12-08-2006, 11:29 AM
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Default Re: Daily Dingfoddities

Farting woman grounds plane. No shit.



:pitfart:
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  #63  
Old 12-09-2006, 12:40 AM
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Default Re: Daily Dingfoddities

Quote:
Originally Posted by pepperspray
Well I guess not. :tongue:
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  #64  
Old 12-09-2006, 03:27 AM
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Default Re: Daily Dingfoddities

I love this thread.
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  #65  
Old 12-09-2006, 09:36 AM
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Thank you.
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  #66  
Old 12-09-2006, 12:53 PM
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Default Re: Daily Dingfoddities

Weed busted for weed.

Gregory Weed, 18, was charged with driving under the influence, possession of drug paraphernalia, and failure to use a turn signal; Timothy Weed, 19, was charged with possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia after police stopped the pair for erratic driving.

Tell the judge you can't smoke yourself. That'll work.
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  #67  
Old 12-09-2006, 09:31 PM
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Default Re: Daily Dingfoddities

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingfod
I didn't duhr it.

Man accused of faking mental retardation after being seen fighting a traffic ticket in court. His mother had been collecting disability payments since he was 8 years old, about 20 years. The pair have been indicted on conspiracy to defraud the government of over $110,000.

I bet they don't have the money.

heh ive acutually done that,(the fake retard thing, not the fraud) having a really bad stutter makes it easy.
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  #68  
Old 12-10-2006, 07:52 AM
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Car pull tunnel sin drome?

A Florida phone sex worker was awarded her Workman's Compensation claim for a repetitive motion injury in both hands resulting from her masturbating on the job as many as seven times a day as she talked sex talk to their clients. Her attorney said "She was told to do whatever it takes to keep the person on the phone as long as possible." Perhaps, but the person on the other end of the line doesn't know whether you're really touching yourself or not.

Seven times a day? I would think repetitive rawness would result long before carpal tunnel syndrome.
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Old 12-10-2006, 07:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by roastelk
heh ive acutually done that,(the fake retard thing, not the fraud) having a really bad stutter makes it easy.
I don't have to fake the retard thing.
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  #70  
Old 12-10-2006, 08:03 AM
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Stop using a variation of my name.

Singer-"actress" Mariah Carey has threatened legal action to stop porn star Mary Carey from getting a trademark on her name. Mary Carey, the one that ran against the Governator in 2002? Carey is concerned about the possible confusion in the names because she wants to trademark the name for audio and video recordings.

David Beitchman, a lawyer for Mary CareyI believe Mariah Carey stand little chance of winning a court battle over the names. My first thought was, does Mariah Carey realise what her lawyer is comparing her to and are they seriously concerned? Do they seriously think the fans are going to be confused?


Given the way Mariah dresses and the average fan's intelligence, maybe. No, not that Mary is Mariah, but that Mariah is a porn star.
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  #71  
Old 12-13-2006, 12:48 AM
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Police pinch pistol-packin' pastor, pack him off to the pokey.

Pastor of a Mt. Airy, NC church was arrested for brandishing a firearm after a pistol-waving sermon. Turns out Pastor Dusty had been convicted in 1990 in Virginia for conspiracy to distribute cocaine and possession of a firearm during drug trafficking. As a felon, possession of a firearm is prohibited, as is brandishing one, even a toy one, apparently.

Garry Scearce, trustee chairman at Victory Baptist saidMembers of Whitaker's Victory Baptist Church say they had no knowledge of his criminal background. Whitaker told them he was a retired Virginia state police officer and a retired U.S. marshal who was injured in the line of duty.


Pastor Whitaker saidI use parables. Once I pretended to be a blind man with a cane, glasses and can with coins. Why didnt they arrest me for impersonating a blind man?


Just a wild guess here, but it was probably because impersonating a blind man isn't against the law, but impersonating a police officer and brandishing a firearm by a convicted felon might be.
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  #72  
Old 12-13-2006, 12:51 AM
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So he's saying he told people he was a police officer and a US marshal only to illustrate some moral point? Odd that he never had the opportunity to bring up his drug-dealing in the course of imparting moral lessons. :rolleyes:
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  #73  
Old 12-13-2006, 12:57 AM
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My kind of guy.

Jason Lee (not the My Name is Earl actor) of Byron Township, Michigan set up the holiday lights on his home to be a homage to Ebenezer Scrooge, of Dicken's Christmas Carol fame. Lights on his property spell out Bah Hum Bug. Neighbors don't seem to be bothered by it a bit, Lee says he likes the holidays and is just having a bit of fun.

Lee neighbor Sandy Yocum saidThey're a real nice family. I don't think they're Scrooges at all.


Keep saying that after they don't give you a gift, Sandy.
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  #74  
Old 12-13-2006, 12:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by livius drusus
So he's saying he told people he was a police officer and a US marshal only to illustrate some moral point? Odd that he never had the opportunity to bring up his drug-dealing in the course of imparting moral lessons. :rolleyes:
Crazy stuff, ain't it?
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  #75  
Old 12-13-2006, 01:05 AM
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Default Re: Daily Dingfoddities

For the Scrooges and Grinches out there: reindeer hot dogs.

Just in time for the holidays, at Fred Markham's hot dog stand in suburban Chicago, reindeer dogs, made in Alaska of reindeer meat with a bit of beef and pork because the reindeer meat is a bit lean and dry, for only $8. Fred first tried them on a trip to Alaska, deciding to make them a holiday offering at his business in the Lower 48. Fred's other exotic fare include smoked alligator-and-pork sausages and buffalo bratwursts.

Mmmm, meat.
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