What if a Christian baby made a thread?

[seebs]

So I found this thing. I... well here's a link.

https://www.tumblr.com/andaisq/729833899794055168

A quote, in case tumblr is bad again:

Atheists, imagine you're a famous baseball player and are about to bat the winning hit. Accidentally, the pitcher tosses a Christian baby at you. Would you still hit the baby out of the stadium and win mililons, or spare the Christian baby?

This... is a question a person posted, on Quora. They post a lot of questions like this.

Atheists, imagine you and a Christian baby are running away from a giant octopus. There is only one trap door in front of you where one of you can fit. Would you go in or let the Christian baby go?

I... don't know what's going on here. What I do know is that this is hilarious. This has infinite potential. Atheists, what if it was time to wash the dishes, but there was a Christian baby in the dishwasher? What if you were skydiving with a Christian baby? What if someone shot at a Christian baby but suddenly the world cut to slow motion and you could jump in front of the bullet? WHAT IF?!??

I don't know what's going on here, but I think this is apologetics, but it's some of the most surreal and incompetent apologetics I've ever seen.

[fragment]

[viscousmemories]

As an atheist I would of course retort, with the smarmiest condescension I could muster, that there's NO SUCH THING AS A CHRISTIAN BABY, then sit back and wait for the "thanks"es to pour in.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

It smells like satire of the hypotheticals posed like “building burning down, you can save one child or one tray of six fertilized eggs.”

[seebs]

By far the best response, I think, was the one from someone saying they'd bunt, because they're pretty sure that no one is going to throw a baby to second to get them out.

[ChuckF]

(1) tumblr is still around? and (2) ok, real talk: a Christian baby is not an MLB regulation baseball so I don't think the hit would be good, but that's really a matter for the umpire.

[JoeP]

If a Christian baby crawled into a public bathroom not consistent with its gender assigned at birth, would you call the cops?

[fragment]

Now I'm curious what the atheist equivalents are. I'm sure they're out there.

Probably some pretentiously written stuff referencing Pascal's wager about whether to pray for babies' eternal souls rather than stop people from taking them to baseball games.

[seebs]

tumblr is still around, it mostly died from the porn ban, automattic bought it, they've been trying to rebuild it and make it potentially-viable again. it's probably the least-horrific of the social media just because it actually sells stuff to users at all and thus we aren't entirely there to feed the ads.

[seebs]

Devy: [squeaks impatiently at me for 45 minutes before dinner]
Me: Devy! What if it were lunch time, but someone accidentally put a Christian baby in your dish?

[It's Me!]

Originally Posted by seebs

So I found this thing. I... well here's a link.

https://www.tumblr.com/andaisq/729833899794055168

A quote, in case tumblr is bad again:

This... is a question a person posted, on Quora. They post a lot of questions like this.

I... don't know what's going on here. What I do know is that this is hilarious. This has infinite potential. Atheists, what if it was time to wash the dishes, but there was a Christian baby in the dishwasher? What if you were skydiving with a Christian baby? What if someone shot at a Christian baby but suddenly the world cut to slow motion and you could jump in front of the bullet? WHAT IF?!??

I don't know what's going on here, but I think this is apologetics, but it's some of the most surreal and incompetent apologetics I've ever seen.

When discussion over the trolley problem becomes stale.

[seebs]

The Christian Baby has grown up and works at a sports clothing store now.