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  #801  
Old 05-21-2013, 12:12 AM
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We've been having a rough time lately. Last Monday night, a good friend who was perversely intelligent and witty and hurting offed himself. I found out Wednesday morning before work. I sucked it up and worked all day, then fell to pieces when I got home. I know he wanted to go, though; he'd thought about it for many months and made all the necessary arrangements, etc. Anyway. I miss him. My world just got a little darker.

Then Saturday night, Mich and I had guests over. Maxx was loving on my buddy's wife then out of nowhere turned and snapped at her face. Mich was watching the whole thing. She saw no warning signs.

Maxx was damaged goods when we took him from the shelter 10 years ago in Montgomery, and we knew it. We rehabilitated him to the greatest extent possible--to the point where we could trust him around children (supervised, but still), and men. He's always had a dog aggression problem, but when he snapped at a grown woman while she was stroking him and his tail was wagging...something was wrong.

Shortly after that--and we aren't sure what triggered it--he and Coffee got into a dogfight. Let me be clear. This was not a scuffle. It was not a simple dominance exercise. It was a vicious fight. Mich hosed them down and it had NO effect. We finally all went around the corner of the house and waited. Presently, Maxx came trotting around the corner. He was walking ok but covered in blood and obviously in pain (I discovered later that his ears were ripped at the scalp pretty badly and his lip was torn to the bone). Coffee came limping up next. We were pretty sure her leg was broken.

It was past midnight and we'd all been drinking, so we gave them both pain pills. In the morning, we took Coffee to the emergency vet and we took Maxx to the humane society and had him put to sleep.

It was one of the most painful decisions we've had to make. He was a loving, sweet dog until the end, but he was simply schitzo. Well...we think he probably had dementia. For the last couple of years, Mich has been afraid to approach him sometimes. Rehoming was not a possibility, and I wasn't willing to cut him off from all dogs and people until he passed. To me, that's worse than a quick and peaceful death.

So here we are with one puppy who walks around looking for her buddy. Her leg isn't broken, but it was punctured clear through. The vet inserted a drain that we just had checked today. Hopefully, it'll come out Friday afternoon and we can get rid of the cone of shame.

We don't really want another dog so soon, but Coffee is lonely. Hell...we just had the entire 8 acres enclosed with a five-foot fence so the dogs could run free (and they did Saturday; Maxx even got to chase a deer). We want another pibble, but it's getting increasingly difficult to find one in the Springs. We live outside the city limits, so maybe?

d
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  #802  
Old 05-21-2013, 12:33 AM
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Such a downer. Sorry about that, folks.

At the same time:

The fence is paid off. I'm teaching again and loving it profusely. Mich just planted a profusion of beautiful flowers in the front porch planters. We still have a wonderful home that we're slowly learning how to take care of and keep moderately clean, and thankthelord have renters in the other pad. Michelle has gotten to the point in her job that I'm increasingly convinced that she cannot be fired. I've adjusted to life in the States again. I've been reading good literature. Mich and I play board games at night while listening to great music and talking and playing with the pets.

And oh yeah. My wife is still amazing, beautiful, and brilliant.

Life. Ups and downs. But during the downs, it's good to focus on the ups.

d

ANDyaknowwhut? The cone of shame keeps Coffee out of the kitty treats. Silver linings, everybody.
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  #803  
Old 06-02-2013, 05:52 PM
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me lad is currently residing in the Minne-apple half of the Twin Cities, having set out a mere 3 weeks ago, doing what young people have to do to figure out how to make it work... and I have to figure out how to not worry about how the world will treat him.... (like THAT ever happens, amiright, parents?)

he is holed up til mid-august in one of those private dorm situations... he is not a student, but evidently they will sublet during the summer... (and, joy of joys, mpls/st paul have a hella public transit system) so, that housing situation is, hopefully, enough time for him to sort out a more permanent living situation and find some sort of employment... fingers crossed for him, gais


even though i cannot help but worry how the bigger world is going to treat him, one silver lining is Minnesota's progressive laws...

Minnesota law prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation, including transgender individuals, in employment, housing, public accommodation, public service, education, credit, and business.
(the law actually specifically enumerates "gender identity" as separate from sexual orientation, it is THAT progressive)

http://www.irem.org/pdfs/publicpolic...rimination.pdf



I, on the other hand, have hit another "crisis in recovery", so I don't get out much... but i am so happy for adrien i wanted to let you guys know
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  #804  
Old 06-18-2013, 04:03 AM
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B'cuz I didn't want to downer anyone any more than necessary, here's the executive summary:

Coffee has only just recovered from the fight with Maxx.

We evacuated our little hovel in the woods last Tuesday the day the Black Forest Fire broke out (if you don't know what I'm talking about, Google it). We were just switched from "mandatory-we-aren't-kidding-we'll-arrest-you-if-you-go-back evacuation" back to "pre-evacuation" at noon today, and were delighted to discover that our place is exactly as we left it, and we didn't even lose electricity long enough for the fridge food to spoil. There's ash everywhere, of course, but we figure that's good for the garden.

We'll move back in when our natural gas is turned back on.

Meanwhile, in funner news, I was delighted to learn that I'm not the only person teaching Lysistrata next semester; two of my female counterparts also thought it would be fun to teach raunchiness. :)

d
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Last edited by huntress; 06-18-2013 at 04:06 AM. Reason: repeating news, and who needs that shit
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  #805  
Old 06-19-2013, 03:02 PM
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I just booked airplane tickets to Sicily, where I'll be going for a summer school in July. It was a bit of a pain finding a flight that arrived in time to catch the hydrofoil to the island where the school is, but I think I managed it. I'm going to bounce around the main island of Sicily for a week after, having never even seen the Mediterranean before.

And then tonight I'm going to the hospital with a friend, to visit our fencing club's coach. He is terminally ill with liver cancer, and I don't know if he'll last the week. What a messed up day.
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Last edited by Dragar; 06-20-2013 at 10:07 AM.
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  #806  
Old 07-29-2013, 05:08 PM
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I'm poasting for Mr curses since he won't post here. He was selected by his favorite band to do a remix of their next single. They loved it and used it. It comes out in September. I'm super proud of him.

The band-OMD
The song- Night Cafe

Can't post his mix till it comes out so here's the original.

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  #807  
Old 08-24-2013, 06:12 PM
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in the tradition of three hanky comedies....

through no fault of my own, a trauma that has been latent for HALF A FUCKING CENTURY decided to erupt and spew its taint across every dimension of my life, unleashing an unrelenting cascade of emotional and psychological devastations... so much so that it is to the point where I no longer recognize what I laughingly call "my life" as my own...

I will not school you about PTSD because its far-reaching complexities are even now being "discovered" and older notions are being subsumed, or eliminated, by newer ones... although I will confess I know more about it than I ever cared to... and continue to learn it is the gift than keeps on giving...

according to my "recovery team", there is no "fixing" ptsd ... its elements, and the symptomatic displays that are generated by it, are at best "integrated into a "new normal"... which, as a direct participant in that "new normal", I have to say is a unmitigated nightmare without boundaries... where a fucking toaster's "pop up" can elicit (and DOES elicit) the same sympathetic nervous system response as a gun shot... where conversations with friends (let alone strangers!) become frustrating, humiliating buh buh bumble fests of strangled syntax and gnarled vocabulary

I have developed a psychogenic stammer and a form of aphasia, where I can SEE a word and HEAR a word in my head but there are other, wrong words, seemingly on a conveyor belt, that HAVE to move past my lips before I can access the appropriate word...

each startle response initiates a full on fight/flight/freeze/surrender adrenalin/cortisol cocktail, delivered with alarming regularity to the hippocampus, causing discernible structural changes... in effect, causing, what so far is considered to be reversible brain damage... it affects memory, mood and other aspects of neurological function (ask that there Lone Ranger for the low down on hippocampus function)

I have bad days and worse days with a few not so bad days.... once the first trigger of the day sets the adrenal cocktail into production, I am fucked because each trigger primes the SNS to the extent that even my own borborygmi can set me off like a bottle rocket.... my "window of tolerance" is non-existent and I have no longer have a threshold between ok and not ok...

the farm thing is a punt, to help establish an income stream for my middle son who wants to keep this property... I told him if he really wants it, I will invest my efforts for the next several years to get it going... then it is up to him...

I am 57, in reasonably good physical health... definitely building strength with the unceasing physical demands in which I engage, intentionally limiting my effort to 85% so as not to injure myself... permaculture is, if nothing else, intentional and incremental... so the pace is not especially daunting

anyway, boo fucking hoo... I shovel shit for horses I have really grown to love, carry about $15 grand in debt for educational programs, licenses, insurance and other nonsense associated with a diverted career path I cannot follow in my current mental health state.... I have no idea what to hope for...

just sayin'



...
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  #808  
Old 09-12-2013, 01:46 PM
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Rigorist's dad died last night (or early this morning). It wasn't really a shock since his health had been been bad for a while and had really declined recently, but still, I figured he'd hang on for a little while longer.
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  #809  
Old 11-15-2013, 03:06 PM
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I turned in my corporate-issue PC and ID badge last night, officially ending 5+ years of employment at Dell. Alas the other Dell opportunity in Santa Clara didn't pan out; they didn't want to give me enough money to balance the cost of living. So on Monday I start a new job (working from home) as a "Technical Architect" for a company based in Mississippi. I'm hoping it means working a lot fewer hours and spending more time posting on this here forum, and that the lack of daily human interaction doesn't drive me crazier.
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  #810  
Old 11-24-2013, 04:34 PM
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I am ten days away from having my honey back home after she took up a work position in China back in August. Very happy that's she's having this adventure and proud that she's all in demand and stuff (she knocked it out of the park, of course). But, yeah, ready to not be a single parent of three again, and, mostly, just ready to have my BFF again.
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  #811  
Old 11-25-2013, 03:43 PM
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HOW MANY DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS LETTER?! :eagersanta:
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  #812  
Old 11-26-2013, 02:17 AM
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Clutch, that is so sweet. I love being married to my BFF too
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Old 12-07-2013, 03:47 PM
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My nephew committed suicide last night; he was 21 yrs. old. I didn't know him as well as I would have liked, but I know he was recently separated from the Marines due to severe depression and that the unit he left went to Afghanistan. I'm pretty sure he was suffering from depression before he joined the Marines, but I'm sure that whole situation didn't help. Obviously my entire extended family is wrecked. I'm trying to get a flight back to Mi ASAP.
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Old 12-07-2013, 03:48 PM
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nm

Last edited by Dingfod; 12-07-2013 at 03:48 PM. Reason: wrong thread
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  #815  
Old 12-28-2013, 04:54 AM
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After battling three unrelated cancers and receiving more than sixty radiation treatments over the past year my father passed away peacefully and at home this morning. The irony is that he was cancer free when he died. Basically, he died from multiple complications engendered by the radiation treatments. Stuff like pneumonia, sepsis, esophageal strictures, anemia, etc. It sucks to win the major battles and still lose the war.
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  #816  
Old 12-29-2013, 11:48 PM
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So PV and I had a babby boy on Christmas Eve. Still adjusting to the sleep deprivation, but all is well besides that.
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  #817  
Old 12-30-2013, 01:03 AM
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oops
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  #818  
Old 01-31-2014, 03:27 AM
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Here is the update. HAPPY NOW MR DRUSUS?!?!1

In November I lost my cousin Bob to stomach cancer. He'd been fighting it for over a year but it was more than the doctors could heal. For Christmas we had all the nephews and nieces together for the first time in over a decade. It'd also end up being the last. It was nice to catch up, meet new spouses, and reminisce.

On January 15th my mom found my brother dead. We hadn't heard from him in awhile and were concerned. He lived by himself (and a cat which I have now) so mom went up to check on him. I got a call from her at work and couldn't understand her because she was crying so hard. Left work and drove up to my brother's house. When I got to his neighborhood I passed the coroner's van. Dude driving was smoking a cig, smiled and waved at me. (Folks still do that in the country) That was the last time I saw my brother. He'd been dead for 4-5 days when he was found, mom went in and found him in that state. I can't even begin to imagine how much that hurt her to find her son like that. Now we're going through the battles of getting his estate turned over to mom and dad since he had no will.

We had him cremated (after a lengthy battle with the GBI to get his body released to the funeral home-even with mom and dad IDing the body they wanted more proof. Couldn't find dental records but eventually found his fingerprints in a gun permit database.) Sometime this spring my family is going to Jekyll Island off the Georgia coast to spread his ashes. This was his favorite place to go, he'd be happy with this decision. I'll raise a few glasses of booze in his honor.

Two days ago my uncle Joe died. Another family member with stomach cancer, again it was expected. Still sad but I'm glad he's out of pain. This is how I'll remember Joe:

1417587_10202088993205020_1224774513_o.jpg

We have one more on the watch list-my aunt Nell is in her late 90s and her dementia is so bad she barely knows anything anymore. But to be honest I'd be glad if the dying stopped for awhile. It's been a tough 4 months.
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  #819  
Old 02-06-2014, 06:31 PM
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Got the promotion I applied for! :w00t:
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  #820  
Old 02-07-2014, 03:21 AM
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inland wave was promoted to First Assistant Manager of another store in the women's clothing retailer chain of her employ.
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  #821  
Old 02-09-2014, 08:14 PM
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Friday my father went into the hospital due to swollen feet and shortness of breath. Yesterday while I was visiting him I asked a nurse if they knew what was going on with him yet -- she said he has congestive heart failure and cardiac dysrhythmia. He had had heart valve replacement surgery back in '04, and they figured then the new "pig valves" would last about 10 years, so this comes as no surprise. They have put him on a diuretic to get rid of the water in his feet and from around his heart and lungs, but the main problem is his heart valves are failing.

He is not considered a candidate for surgery. His alzheimers is pretty advanced and he'll be 89 in March. Back in October at my Uncle Walt's wake (his older brother) my sister had to keep reminding him who I was. Yesterday he sort of remembered me when he said "I am lucky that someone I know so well has come to visit me." But he still has his "chorus" with him -- most things he talks about since his alzheimers has began, he concludes with the comment "people are always saying 'why are you doing ______________?' and I tell 'em because I like/want _________!" I like to imagine a Greek Chorus that only he can see and hear is standing just offstage and he argues with them throughout the day as they comment on his various activities.

Anyway, I figure the best they can do is get his fluids down and let him go back home where my sister has been taking care of him. Mrs. KA, who has been helping her father with all his heart problems and meds, figures that (without surgery) my dad probably has a few months, at most a year. But what would be the point of surgery even if he survived it? All the stuff he loved doing -- working on the farm and doing stuff with his tractor -- he can't do anymore. He doesn't know who anyone is most of the time or even know how old he is anymore.

For last few years my father has really wanted to beat Uncle Milford, who lived to be 99 and 5 months, but I don't think he's going to do that.
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  #822  
Old 02-11-2014, 12:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingfod View Post
inland wave was promoted to First Assistant Manager of another store in the women's clothing retailer chain of her employ.
To top that off, she is now employed at two of their stores, her old one as Manager-In-Training as well as the new Ass Manager at the other store, between the two jobs, 60+ hours per week (up from ~24 hours per week).
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  #823  
Old 02-12-2014, 12:57 AM
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Nothing world-shaking or anything.

I was just on Facebook, corresponding with one of my nieces. Wait. She's 16 now? How did that happen?

What strikes me as amusing is that her Facebook page has literally dozens of photos of her (mostly "selfies") in various mundane activities. It's like she feels she must document her every waking moment.

I still remember her as a little girl who was so painfully shy that it was all but impossible to get her to speak, much less sit still long-enough for someone to take a photograph. Bringing out a camera used to elicit a response from her that was very close to panic. How times have changed.
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  #824  
Old 02-16-2014, 12:44 AM
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My father went home from the hospital on Monday -- he was stabilized and the doctor figured he would be OK for a while as long as they got the coumadin dosage figured out. But his doctor visited him at home today because he has no longer has a pulse in his feet; because of the congestive heart failure blood isn't making it all the way to his feet anymore. The doctor sedated him with morphine because of the pain associated with his feet; they are pretty much purple and dying. His water intake has also dropped to about a third of what he requires.

I visited him after a meeting today and he was sleeping, sort of -- pretty restless but he did not actually wake up even with us moving him / talking to him / asking him questions. It is probably only a matter of days at this point.
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  #825  
Old 02-17-2014, 06:55 AM
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My dad died last night, a little before 9 PM. He had made arrangements with a local funeral home 5 or 6 years ago, and with home hospice, after he was declared dead by a visiting nurse, the funeral home came and took him, so we had no hospital bs to deal with like we did when my mother died suddenly back in '88. He did not want a wake or big funeral either, just a graveside service. I'm guessing that will probably happen in the next day or two, as soon as the funeral home is done with him and they track down the minister he had wanted to do the service (she is somewhere in Connecticut), though if there is another big storm on Tuesday that might push his service later into the week.

I visited him yesterday afternoon and left about 2 hours before he died. Another WWII veteran gone -- we are losing a thousand every day now, but this one -- this one was p. special to me.
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